argument186

thzx0483UID: 179333

Argument186: 478 words   30 minutes
The following is a recommendation from the director of personnel to the president of Professional Printing Company.
'In a recent telephone survey of automobile factory workers, older employees were less likely to report that having a supervisor present increases their productivity. Among workers aged 18 to 29, 27 percent said that they are more productive in the presence of their immediate supervisor, compared to 12 percent for those aged 30 or over, and only 8 percent for those aged 50 or over. Clearly, if our printing company hires mainly older employees, we will increase productivity and save money because of the reduced need for supervisors.'

In this argument, the arguer suggests that Professional Printing Company hire older workers to increase productivity and save money. To bolster the suggestion, the arguer provides the result of a survey which indicates that older employees are less likely to increase their productivity under supervisions than the younger ones. At first glance, this argument seems to be reasonable. However, a meticulous scrutiny would reveal how untenable this argument is.

A threshold problem with this argument is that the arguer takes for granted and without justification that the younger employees without justification will be less productive than the older workers. Although more younger people reported that they will increase their productivity if a supervisor is present, that does not necessarily mean that without supervision, they will do a worse job than the old employees .As a matter of fact, for the reason that young peoples are more active, energic, and enthusiastic, they are likely to finish the job better than the old ones even if without supervision. If the arguer is not able to prove that the older workers do a more productive job than younger ones without supervision, the suggestion is doubtful.

Another problem with this argument is that the survey is open to question. Destitute of sampling a sufficient number and manifesting any sign of such procedures for random sampling across the whole gamut of employees, the survey is not representative to reflect the general attitude of the employees. According to the arguer, the survey is conducted through telephones. Consequently, employees without a telephone is not included in the survey .Besides, the employees just reported that whether they would be more productive un supervision. That does not mean they will indeed act so. Maybe the younger workers are not as familiar as the older ones with the job and therefore they just make assumptions.

Last but not least, another defect that saps the logic of this argument is that even if we admit that the survey in reliable and younger employees will indeed be more productive under supervision, we still lack evidence to believe that suggestion is bound to save money. It is quite possible that the older employees require much higher salaries on account of their rich experiences and much more welfares have to be provided to older workers. Besides, there is no evidence indicating that the company has supervisors now. If so, the measure is not able to help save money as there are no supervisors to reduce.

To sum up, this argument lacks credibility for the reason that the arguer is incapable of providing adequate evidence to what he/she maintains. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide more information about the younger works productivity without supervision and older employees' productivity as well. To better access this argument, we have to know more details about the survey and the company's condition now.

GladysryUID: 198609

In this argument, the arguer suggests that Professional Printing Company hire older workers to increase productivity and save money. To bolster the suggestion, the arguer provides the result of a survey which indicates that older employees are less likely to increase their productivity under supervisions than the younger ones. At first glance, this argument seems to be reasonable. However, a meticulous scrutiny would reveal how untenable this argument is.[第一段我认为是典型的模板，但是都是introductory material, 最好精简掉用更多的文字来说明你的观点。具体请参考https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=134092]

A threshold problem with this argument is that the arguer takes for granted and without justification that the younger employees without justification [恩，这个地方是不是换一个词比较好？两个without justification 隔得太近，读起来也拗口]Another problem with this argument is that the survey is open to question. Destitute of sampling a sufficient number [题中是没有提到，不代表他是没有这样一个足以服人的样本，我觉得只能说它未能表示出来，而不能说他没有] and manifesting any sign of such procedures for random sampling across the whole gamut of employees, the survey is not representative to reflect the general attitude of the employees. According to the arguer, the survey is conducted through telephones. Consequently, employees without a telephone is [数错了]……

Last but not least, another defect that saps the logic of this argument is that even if we admit that the survey in reliable and younger employees will indeed be more productive under supervision, we still lack evidence to believe that suggestion is bound to save money. It is quite possible that the older employees require much higher salaries on account of their rich experiences and much more welfares have to be provided to older workers. Besides, there is no evidence indicating that the company has supervisors now. If so, the measure is not able to help save money as there are no supervisors to reduce.[后面一个理由我觉得有点问题，现在就算没有，如果年轻的雇员多了，需要的也就多了，自然会花钱啊]


To sum up, this argument lacks credibility for the reason that the arguer is incapable of providing adequate evidence to what he/she maintains.[你把这句话翻译着试试，好像与你所想表达的意思刚好相反]To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide more information about the younger works [少了一个所有格吧？]productivity without supervision and older employees' productivity as well. To better access this argument, we have to know more details about the survey and the company's condition now.

好了，我觉得整篇文章还是很不错的，尤其是在30分钟内就搞定的，佩服。但是有一些简单的拼写和语法错误还是在自己检查过后再发上来比较好。

恩，个人意见，仅供参考。顺便问一句，你什么时候考作文？（下面是我的第一篇argu，可以帮忙看一下么？如果大家时间接近的话，就一起互改好吧？）:cool:

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1