Issue136 互相进步!谢谢哦~~~

阿择菜UID: 2110339

Issue136  
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分3秒     542 words
从2005年6月23日16时21分到2005年6月23日17时45分
------题目------
The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.
------正文------
     Do you think the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare ?As my opinion, there are some situation which we face to.
     The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare. From the graduated university or the college, the students have many choices to select. For example, if a student study the computer science in the college, he would work in the computer company, so he can work in the technological district. Of course, he also could go to the other company such as automobile company, or go to the government in which the absence of professional experts is rather many. He can go to the university for further education. He could teach more people after he reach a PH.D. Consequently, when the graduated students go out of the college or university, they will have many choices. In any professions we have to face many choices. Nevertheless, the chance is given for the people who have prepared for that. So we have to study more knowledge from the youth to old, otherwise we will be sloughed off  by the developing world.
     
     Although we have to many choices to face to , we must comply the local situation and environment. Since the situation that the economic is developed is  different in districts, many people have no choice .For instance, if a student is born in a poor family ,his family can't afford his  life fees. Even if he attains the reformation of a university, he can't go as other students. Because of his family and his grown environment, he have to give up the chance. Nowadays, as the economic is developed in the world, the out of work is a commonplace phenomenon. When the elder people are out of the chronic job, he can't do any other jobs. The elder the people is, the more difficult the people learn new things. So once the elder people are no job, he have to choice, only depend on the compensation given by the government. In a word, no choice can be selected by anyone.
     If the choices in our vision are too many to select the right one hard, that is we have no choice, even though there is one, we have to give up other worse choices. If you work in the company, you will find better job from other company. If you go to another, you will find better one. So you don't decide which you should go to, the choices of the life is too many. Only you must know yourself, you could make the last decision which you should do or not do. If  choices of your vision are too many, you have no choice too in fact. After you select one by one, you will find no one is satisfied with yourself Even you have enough choices, you should give up others, you must confirm your choice is very ,very right for yourself. You can try your best in your selected job position.

阿择菜UID: 2110339

Issue136  ------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分3秒     542 words
从2005年6月23日16时21分到2005年6月23日17时45分
------题目------
The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.
------正文------
     Do you think the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare ?As my opinion, there are some situation which we face to.
     The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare. From the graduated university or the college, the students have many choices to select. For example, if a student study the computer science in the college, he would work in the computer company, so he can work in the technological district. Of course, he also could go to the other company such as automobile company, or go to the government in which the absence of professional experts is rather many. He can go to the university for further education. He could teach more people after he reach a PH.D. Consequently, when the graduated students go out of the college or university, they will have many choices. In any professions we have to face many choices. Nevertheless, the chance is given for the people who have prepared for that. So we have to study more knowledge from the youth to old, otherwise we will be sloughed off  by the developing world.
     
     Although we have to many choices to face to , we must comply the local situation and environment. Since the situation that the economic is developed is  different in districts, many people have no choice .For instance, if a student is born in a poor family ,his family can't afford his  life fees. Even if he attains the reformation of a university, he can't go as other students. Because of his family and his grown environment, he have to give up the chance. Nowadays, as the economic is developed in the world, the out of work is a commonplace phenomenon. When the elder people are out of the chronic job, he can't do any other jobs. The elder the people is, the more difficult the people learn new things. So once the elder people are no job, he have to choice, only depend on the compensation given by the government. In a word, no choice can be selected by anyone.
     If the choices in our vision are too many to select the right one hard, that is we have no choice, even though there is one, we have to give up other worse choices. If you work in the company, you will find better job from other company. If you go to another, you will find better one. So you don't decide which you should go to, the choices of the life is too many. Only you must know yourself, you could make the last decision which you should do or not do. If  choices of your vision are too many, you have no choice too in fact. After you select one by one, you will find no one is satisfied with yourself Even you have enough choices, you should give up others, you must confirm your choice is very ,very right for yourself. You can try your best in your selected job position.

     In sum, we don't dearth the choices of the life, on the other hand, we have enough choices, although we can't choose the freedom out of the law or the local environment. The choice is decided by oneself after all.

hyyrrcathyUID: 172021

今天我才开始写第一篇，所以你知道啦，我可不是牛人。就说说我的看法，希望大家都可以有所进步！

Do you think the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare ?（我觉得这句开头开门见山，很简洁，没有绕圈子，很好。）As my opinion,（是in my opion吧） there are some situation which we face to.（这句是什么意思啊？看不懂耶～～～是不是说“我觉得还是有缺乏选择的情况，是我们不得不面对的”啊？那是不是改成there are such opinions that we sometimes have to face.)
     The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.（第一段你表达观点时我觉得你是反对观点啊，怎么这里又承认了？是让步吗？） From the graduated university or the college, the students have many choices to select.（这句有问题，整理一下就是“the students have many choices to select from the graduated university。什么意思啊？你可以在大学和研究所之间选择？这怎么选呀～～～晕） For example, if a student study the computer science in the college, he would work in the computer company, so he can work in the technological district. Of course, he also could go to the other company such as automobile company, ( other companies such as automobile companies 吧。注意复数哦）or go to the government in which the absence of professional experts is rather many.(晕～～显然的chenglish~~~这样是不是好一点：governments where it is very usual that professional experts lacked) He can go to the university(graduated school吧） for further education. He could teach more people after he reach (gets)H.D. Consequently, when the graduated students go out of the college or university, they will have many choices. In any professions we have to face many choices. Nevertheless, the chance is given for the people who have prepared for that. （这句很有见地！！鼓掌～～）So we have to study more knowledge from the youth to old, otherwise we will be sloughed off  by the developing world.这段的后两句和这一段”我们有很多选择“不一致吧。试试看是不是能放到后面去，在分析的时候解释为什么明明有选择的可能，却没有能够抓住这个选择的机会）
     
     Although we have to （delete)many choices to face to , we must comply the local situation and environment. Since the situation that the economic is developed is  different in districts, 如果要说各地经济发展水平不一的话，可能这样比较好：the level to which economies have developed vary from districts)many people have no choice .(为什么经济发展水平不同就会使得他们没的选择？）For instance, if a student is born in a poor family ,his family can't afford his  life fees. Even if he attains the reformation（这个字是什么意思啊？对不起～～～回帖一定要帮我解释一下唷～～） of a university, he can't go as other students. Because of his family and his grown environment, he have(has吧？) to give up the chance. Nowadays, as the economic is developed in the world, the out of work(unemployment) is a commonplace phenomenon. （今天吃不消了，先回家睡觉去了。明天再继续吧好不好？好累啊！！）When the elder people are out of the chronic job, he can't do any other jobs. The elder the people is, the more difficult the people learn new things. So once the elder people are no job, he have to choice, only depend on the compensation given by the government. In a word, no choice can be selected by anyone.
     If the choices in our vision are too many to select the right one hard, that is we have no choice, even though there is one, we have to give up other worse choices. If you work in the company, you will find better job from other company. If you go to another, you will find better one. So you don't decide which you should go to, the choices of the life is too many. Only you must know yourself, you could make the last decision which you should do or not do. If  choices of your vision are too many, you have no choice too in fact. After you select one by one, you will find no one is satisfied with yourself Even you have enough choices, you should give up others, you must confirm your choice is very ,very right for yourself. You can try your best in your selected job position.

     In sum, we don't dearth the choices of the life, on the other hand, we have enough choices, although we can't choose the freedom out of the law or the local environment. The choice is decided by oneself after all.

[ Last edited by hyyrrcathy on 2005-7-23 at 20:40 ]

阿择菜UID: 2110339

Issue136  第2篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分3秒     542 words
从2005年6月23日16时21分到2005年6月23日17时45分
------题目------
The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.
------正文------
     Do you think the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare? In my opinion, there are different choice situations which we face to.
     There are variety of choices in our vision in fact. After the university or college, the students have many choices to select. For example, if a student study the computer science in the college, he would work in the computer company, so he can work in the technological district. Of course, he also could go to the other company such as automobile company, or go to the government where it is very usual lacking the professional experts in computer field. He can go to the university for further education. He could teach more people after he obtains a PH.D degree. Consequently, when the graduated students go out of the college or university, they will have many choices. In any professions we have to face many choices. Nevertheless, the chance is given for the people who have prepared for that.
     
     Although we have to many choices to face to , we must comply the local situation and environment.Since the situation that the economic level is  different in different districts, many people have no choice at all .For instance, if a child is born in a poor family ,his family can't afford his fees. Even if he attains the notice of a university, he can't go like other students. Because of his family and his grown environment, he has to give up the chance. Take another example, nowadays, as the economic is developed in the world, the off-job workers are a commonplace phenomenon. When the elder people are out of the chronic job, he can't do any other jobs. The elder the people is, the more difficult the people learn new things. So once the elder people are no job, he has no choice, only depend on the compensation given by the government. In a word, no choice can be selected for someone from time to time..
     If the choices in our vision are too many to select the right one hard, that is we have no choice, even though there is one, we have to give up other choices. If you work in the company, you will find better job from other company. If you go to another, you will find better one. So you don't decide which you should go to, the choices of the life are too confused. Only you must know yourself, you could make the last decision which you should do or not do. If the choices of your vision are too many, you have no choice too in fact. After you select one by one, you will find no one is satisfied with yourself Even you have enough choices, you should give up others, so you must confirm your choice is very ,very right for yourself. You can try your best in your selected job position like that.

     In sum, we don't lack the choices of the life, on the contrary, we have enough choices, although we can't choose the freedom out of the law or the local environment. The choice is decided by oneself after all. So we have to study more knowledge from the youth to old, otherwise we will be sloughed off  by the developing world.
谢谢hyyrrcathy,有些句子和词法我用的不太仔细,望你多多包含吧,因为限时而且我也刚练几篇,错误不少,我会虚心改正的.我也感觉我的论证逻辑不是很强的,但是只是由于我先写了三个TS ,然后就展开写了,字数上去了,但是内容和里边层次问题有所欠缺的,望JJ给我拍完,waiting.....

阿择菜UID: 2110339

给出连接,互拍哦~~~~

pho0UID: 154113

Do you think the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare? In my opinion, there are different choice situations which we face to.
开头用问句,最好是把词汇变一下,或者边被动啊，什么的
est明确表示不要restate观点

hyyrrcathyUID: 172021

我又来啦～～～继续拍。哈哈！！

When the elder（older) people are out of the chronic job, he can't do any other jobs. The elder（应该是older吧。只有在表示兄弟姐妹的年长年幼时才用elder） the people is(are), the more difficult the people(the people是这个民族的意思，应该不用定冠词的。） learn new things. So once the elder people are no job(jobless), he have to choice(choose), only depend(ing) on the compensation given by the government. In a word, no choice can be selected by anyone.
     If the choices in our vision are too many to select the right one hard, that is we have no choice, even though there is one, we have to give up other worse choices. (呵呵，这句很绕啊，建议你再想一想，改一下吧）If you work in the(a) company, you will find(a) better job from （another)other company. If you go to another(the other，因为你前文提到了，所以此时该用定冠词才对）, you will find better one. So you don't decide which you should go to, the choices of the life is too many(there are too many choices in one's life). Only you must know yourself, you could make the last decision which you should do or not do. If  choices of your vision are too many, you have no choice too in fact. After you select one by one, you will find (that)no one is satisfied with yourself（you are satisfied with no of the options) Even you have enough choices, you should give up others, you must confirm your choice is very ,very right for yourself. You can try your best in your selected job position.(这一段写的很绕啊，像是思路不清一样。这个道理很简单，选择太多就不容易着手选择，丧失了选择时的决断，但是不好表达啊是不是？呵呵，我自己写的时候也碰到了这个问题，所以就避开了）

     In sum, we don't dearth the choices of the life, on the other hand, we have enough choices, although we can't choose the freedom out of the law or the local environment. The choice is decided by oneself after all.

再说说你这篇总体的问题。第一段举了很多日常的例子表示我们每天都做出选择，所以有很多选择。第二段让步，说尽管很多事我们都有很多选择，但是有些情况是不能由我们自己决定的。这里是在回应rare吧，注意到是很少而非没有。第三段又提出，如果有了太多可供选择的，反而使人无法入手，变成没有选择了。（窃以为这个观点很难写，基本上属于哲学范畴啊～～～）
其实第一段和第二段放在一起就比较完整地把这个问题说清楚了啊：我同意这个说法，因为我们每天的生活经验告诉我们每件事都有很多选择，没有选择的时候很少，几乎没有，但是也不是没有。——我觉得这样就很好了啊，不过建议你文字上再下侠功夫啦～～～


差点忘了，有空帮我也拍一下吧^_^
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;page=1#pid1645364

[ Last edited by hyyrrcathy on 2005-7-24 at 21:04 ]

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

Do you think the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare ?As my opinion, there are some situation which we face to.
     The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare最好不要引用原句. From the graduated university or the college, the students have many choices to select. For example, if a student study the computer science in the college, he would work in the computer company, so he can work in the technological district. Of course, he also could go to the other company such as automobile company, or go to the government in which the absence of professional experts is rather many. He can go to the university for further education. He could teach more people after he reach a PH.D. Consequently, when the graduated students go out of the college or university, they will have many choices. In any professions we have to face many choices. Nevertheless, the chance is given for the people who have prepared for that. So we have to study more knowledge from the youth to old, otherwise we will be sloughed off  by the developing world.这句话作为总结不大好，应该说我们选择的机会很多
     
     Although we have to many choices to face to , we must comply the local situation and environment. Since the situation that the economic is developed is  different in districts, many people have no choice .For instance, if a student is born in a poor family ,his family can't afford his  life fees. Even if he attains the reformation of a university, he can't go as other students. Because of his family and his grown environment, he have to give up the chance. Nowadays, as the economic is developed in the world, the out of work is a commonplace phenomenon. When the elder people are out of the chronic job, he can't do any other jobs. The elder the people is, the more difficult the people learn new things. So once the elder people are no job, he have to choice, only depend on the compensation given by the government.我觉得这个例子不是很strong，感觉也许中国人更理解一点，但是外国人也许不能体会到 In a word, no choice can be selected by anyone.
     If the choices in our vision are too many to select the right one hard, that is we have no choice, even though there is one, we have to give up other worse choices. If you work in the company, you will find better job from other company. If you go to another, you will find better one. So you don't decide which you should go to, the choices of the life is too many. Only you must know yourself, you could make the last decision which you should do or not do. If  choices of your vision are too many, you have no choice too in fact. After you select one by one, you will find no one is satisfied with yourself Even you have enough choices, you should give up others, you must confirm your choice is very ,very right for yourself. You can try your best in your selected job position.我大概理解你想表达的意思：选择太多等于没了选择，但是有些乱，不是很清晰

     In sum, we don't dearth the choices of the life, on the other hand, we have enough choices, although we can't choose the freedom out of the law or the local environment. The choice is decided by oneself after all.
总的来说楼主写的还不错，就是body 3我觉得不是很清晰，不知楼主是否赞同，加油~~~这篇我也写了也希望楼主互拍，连接在签名里面

阿择菜UID: 2110339

至于选择多的等于没有选择,就是不太好表达,我只是想让文章从整体上升华一下!
还是没说清,有点哲学的意味,