issue152 限时失败 不过感觉还好

alcestisUID: 2101945

152"The only responsibility of corporate executives, provided they stay within the law, is to make as much money as possible for their companies."


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What is the responsibility of corporate executives? Merely profit-making or should they pursue something more significant?  I would rather choose the later, for it is a better way to ensure the successful of the executives as well as their companies.

On a personal scale, obeying the law is the basic rule for an individual. Successful executives, like others, should take various social responsibilities. It is hard to respect an individual who merely stay in the boundary of the law, and it is as hard to admire an executive who always take profit for priority, provided obeying the low. A successful executive should first be a respectful person, and simply money can never make one respective. The executive of Legend Computer Corporation, Mr. Liu, earned national wide praise not only for he led Legend gain a fame in the field of computer industry, but also for he has created a culture and an atmosphere inside Legend. By his words and actions, Mr. Liu taught his employees to corporate, to work hard and to keep a high morale whatever they face. Mr. Liu is the model for many of the Chinese executives, young and old, for he knows how to make profit as well as how to be an admirable man.

Especially, in some intensive situation, executives should sacrifice their profit for something more significant. There are always things in the world that are more significant than money, such as lives, love, families, and one's homeland. When a country is involved in a war, there are mainly two choices for the executives--take the advantage of the war and make more money, or support the army who is justice and support the people. Different executives have different choices. During the World War II, some Chinese businesspeople donate all the money they have to the government to support the army, greatly contribute to the final victory of the war. And on the contrary, some businesspeople just raise the price of their product and ignore the millions of people who have no shelter and food, struggling at the edge of death. It is clear, the former would be revered and the later be disdained.

Further, as for the well-being of their companies, executives should never narrowly focus on money. If a company wants a long-term development and prosperity, it must not only target at profit-making. There are a lot of other things worth attention, such as, customer satisfaction and social esteem. One need to look no further than Microsoft to see it is true. Why Microsoft grow from a little company to a world famous corporation in such a short period of time? Partly because they produce excellent programs like Windows, and also because they keep progressing, keep studying, keep producing better programs for the customers. Only by Window3.1, Microsoft can gain a great amount of money, but they just keep hard working on providing new programs to let computer be a friendlier machine. Although they made mistakes in the programs, they release patches to mend them for free. It is their diligence and the support of the customers that makes Microsoft thrive and prosper.

Admittedly, money is a fundamental factor of the development of a company. And profit-making is one of the aims of business, thus making money is also a crucial responsibility of the executives. Without money, it is even impossible for companies to recruit employees, buy equipments, produce products, and to invest on the development of new products, not to say create a company culture, gain customer satisfaction and win social esteem.

All in all, despite the crucial role of money, narrowly focusing on profit-making is harmful for the executives as well as their companies. A wise executive will skillfully keep a balance and ensure the prosperity of the company.

G10T5UID: 2101393

What is the responsibility of corporate executives? Merely profit-making or should they pursue something more significant?（这句话的结构你确定正确？）  I would rather choose the later, for it is a better way to ensure the successful （success）of the executives as well as their companies.

On a personal scale, obeying the law is the basic rule for an individual. Successful executives, like others, should take various social responsibilities. It is hard to respect an individual who merely stay in the boundary of the law（我觉得这也已经很不错了）, and it is as（as是什么意思） hard to admire an executive who always take profit for priority, provided obeying the low. A successful executive should first be a respectful person, and simply （merely） money can （can不要） never make （makes） one respective. The executive of Legend Computer Corporation （Lenovo）, Mr. Liu, earned national wide praise not only for he led Legend gain a fame in the field of computer industry, but also for he has created a culture and an atmosphere inside Legend. By （Through） his words and actions, Mr. Liu taught his employees to corporate （cooperate）, to work hard and to keep a high morale whatever they face. Mr. Liu is the model for many of the （直接用many） Chinese executives, （whether）young and old, for （也偶尔用用because）he knows how to make profit as well as how to be an admirable man.

Especially, in some intensive situation（复数）, executives should sacrifice their profit for something more significant. There are always things in the world that are more significant than money （建议改一下句式，except money, we have many other precious things，这句好像也不怎么样，你再想想吧）, such as lives, love, families, and one's homeland. When a country is involved in a war, there are mainly two choices for the executives--take the advantage of the war and （to） make more money, or support the army who is justice and support the people （战争时期，不会允许本国公司支持对手的）. Different executives have different choices. During the World War II, some Chinese businesspeople donate （过去时）all the （不要the）money they have to the government to support the army, （一定不要串句，连词）greatly contribute to the final victory of the war （China，战争对胜利者来说总是胜利的）. And on the contrary, some businesspeople just raise the price of their product （复数） and ignore the （interest of） millions of people who have no shelter and food, struggling at the edge of death. It is clear, the former would be revered and the later be disdained（换成主动更好） （注意用过去时）.

Further, as for the well-being of their companies, executives should never narrowly focus on money. If a company wants a long-term development and prosperity, it must not only target at profit-making （it should not consider profit-making as its only target）. There are a lot of other things worth attention, such as, customer satisfaction and social esteem （避免there be句型泛滥，你可以尝试将上面2句话合起来成为一复杂句）. One need （needs） to （不要to） look no further than Microsoft to see it is true （To illustrate this perspective, one needs ……）. Why （can）Microsoft grow from a little company to a world famous corporation in such a short period of time （of time是不是就不要了）? Partly  because they produce excellent programs like Windows （Its success is not merely because their excellent products like Windows）, and also （but also）because they keep （it keeps）progressing, keep studying, （and）keep producing better programs for the customers. Only by Window3.1, Microsoft can gain a great amount of money, but they just keep hard working on providing new programs to let computer be a friendlier machine. Although they made mistakes in the programs, they release patches to mend them for free. It is their diligence and the support of the customers （responsible attitude to customers，你没有讲客户的支持） that makes （make） Microsoft thrive and prosper.

Admittedly, money is a fundamental factor of the development of a company. And profit-making is one of the aims of business, thus making money is also a crucial responsibility of the executives. Without money, it is even impossible for companies to recruit employees, buy equipments, produce products, and to invest on the development of new products, not to say （这之后是不是要用ing） create a company culture, gain customer satisfaction and win social esteem.

All in all, despite the crucial role of money, narrowly focusing on profit-making is harmful for the executives as well as their companies. A wise executive will skillfully keep a balance and ensure the prosperity of the company.

amanda1011UID: 2106668

歪歪给你改语病了，我就看内容了：
1.第二段的首句基本不是TS。将要遵守法律，第二句就马上转到成功的CE要……我觉得这段你的TS应该是CE只有又能赚钱，又能带动士气，推动发展才能受人尊敬。最好把这个意思放到第一句去作为TS。
2.第三段从你的TS来看是要说CE在特殊时候也要牺牲利益。可是后面的例子却只是说明了，不同的CE有不同的选择，并没有论证到为什么要牺牲利益呢？
3.后面那个微软的错误和补丁的例子，看不出要说明什么问题。跟长远发展什么关系？从某个角度来想，你说的长远发展还是赚更多的钱的感觉。

我也正在考虑这道题。有点卡壳。

ouymUID: 2109118

152"The only responsibility of corporate executives, provided they stay within the law, is to make as much money as possible for their companies."


===============================


What is the responsibility of corporate executives? Merely profit-making or should they pursue something more significant?  I would rather choose the later, for it is a better way to ensure the successful of the executives as well as their companies.

On a personal scale, obeying the law is the basic rule for an individual（这句多余！）. Successful executives, like others, should take various social responsibilities. It is hard to respect an individual who merely stay in the boundary of the law(只要不违法，又有何不可呢？说服力何在！), and it is as hard to admire an executive who always take profit for priority, provided obeying the low（why"hard"?"provided obeying the law"的意思是＂如果遵守法律的话＂．所以，这半句话的意思是＂对于一个守法的executive，如果他总是把公司的利润放在第一位，很难让别人尊重！＂如果我的理解正确，那么显然这句话是有问题的！）. A successful executive should first（不一定要first吧！去掉first也不伤这句话，还是去掉为好！） be a respectful person, and simply money can never make one respective. The executive of Legend Computer Corporation, Mr. Liu, earned national wide praise not only for he led Legend gain a fame in the field of computer industry, but also for he has created a culture and an atmosphere inside Legend. By his words and actions, Mr. Liu taught his employees to corporate, to work hard and to keep a high morale whatever they face. Mr. Liu is the model for many of the Chinese executives, young and old, for he knows how to make profit as well as how to be an admirable man.(挺好！)

Especially, in some intensive situation, executives should sacrifice their profit for something more significant. There are always things in the world that are more significant than money, such as lives, love, families, and one's homeland. When a country is involved in a war, there are mainly two choices for the executives--take the advantage of the war and make more money, or support the army who is justice and support the people. Different executives have different choices. During the World War II, some Chinese businesspeople donate all the money they have to the government to support the army, greatly contribute to the final victory of the war. And on the contrary, some businesspeople just raise the price of their product and ignore the millions of people who have no shelter and food, struggling at the edge of death. It is clear, the former would be revered and the later be disdained. （还是挺好！）

Further, as for the well-being of their companies, executives should never narrowly focus on money. If a company wants a long-term development and prosperity, it must not only target at profit-making. There are a lot of other things worth attention, such as, customer satisfaction and social esteem. One need to（不要to） look no further than Microsoft to see it is true. Why Microsoft grow from a little company to a world famous corporation in such a short period of time? Partly because they produce excellent programs like Windows, and also because they keep progressing, keep studying, keep producing better programs for the customers. Only by Window3.1, Microsoft can gain a great amount of money, but they just keep hard working on providing new programs to let computer be a friendlier machine. Although they made mistakes in the programs, they release patches to mend them for free. It is their diligence and the support of the customers that makes Microsoft thrive and prosper.（program 和software哪个好？）

Admittedly, money is a fundamental factor of the development of a company. And profit-making is one of the aims of business, thus making money is also a crucial responsibility of the executives. Without money, it is even(去掉even,这里没有递进关系！) impossible for companies to recruit employees, buy equipments, produce products, and to invest on the development of new products, not to say create a company culture, gain customer satisfaction and win social esteem.

All in all, despite the crucial role of money, narrowly focusing on profit-making is harmful for the executives as well as their companies. A wise executive will skillfully keep a balance (是不是要加上between... and ...?)and ensure the prosperity of the company.

写的确实不错！我一向比较狠，但对于这篇文章，还是不得不承认写的好呀！

[ Last edited by ouym on 2005-8-13 at 04:31 ]

ouymUID: 2109118

我觉得歪歪改的有些地方有问题！

alcestisUID: 2101945

收到大家中肯的意见啦~~
过两天交修改稿~~~~~~~

G10T5UID: 2101393

Originally posted by ouym at 2005-8-13 04:27
我觉得歪歪改的有些地方有问题！

我也是照着自己的想法改的，当然错误难免。直接指出来嘛，我也好提高。

ouymUID: 2109118

to 歪歪

What is the responsibility of corporate executives? Merely profit-making or should they pursue something more significant?（这句话的结构你确定正确？）  I would rather choose the later, for it is a better way to ensure the successful （success）of the executives as well as their companies.

On a personal scale, obeying the law is the basic rule for an individual. Successful executives, like others, should take various social responsibilities. It is hard to respect an individual who merely stay in the boundary of the law（我觉得这也已经很不错了）, and it is as（as是什么意思） hard to admire an executive who always take profit for priority, provided obeying the low. A successful executive should first be a respectful person, and simply （merely） money can （can不要） never make （makes） one respective. The executive of Legend Computer Corporation （Lenovo）, Mr. Liu, earned national wide praise not only for he led Legend gain a fame in the field of computer industry, but also for he has created a culture and an atmosphere inside Legend. By （Through） his words and actions, Mr. Liu taught his employees to corporate （cooperate）, to work hard and to keep a high morale whatever they face. Mr. Liu is the model for many of the （直接用many）(这里如何直接用many呢?) Chinese executives, （whether）(这个whether 有必要吗?,如果用whether,那后面就or 不用and)young and old, for （也偶尔用用because）he knows how to make profit as well as how to be an admirable man.

Especially, in some intensive situation（复数）, executives should sacrifice their profit for something more significant. There are always things in the world that are more significant than money （建议改一下句式，except money, we have many other precious things，这句好像也不怎么样，你再想想吧）, such as lives, love, families, and one's homeland. When a country is involved in a war, there are mainly two choices for the executives--take the advantage of the war and （to） make more money, or support the army who is justice and support the people （战争时期，不会允许本国公司支持对手的）. Different executives have different choices. During the World War II, some Chinese businesspeople donate （过去时）all the （不要the）(这个the不能去掉!)money they have to the government to support the army, （一定不要串句，连词）greatly contribute to the final victory of the war （China，战争对胜利者来说总是胜利的）. And on the contrary, some businesspeople just raise the price of their product （复数） and ignore the （interest of） millions of people who have no shelter and food, struggling at the edge of death. It is clear, the former would be revered and the later be disdained（换成主动更好） （注意用过去时）.

Further, as for the well-being of their companies, executives should never narrowly focus on money. If a company wants a long-term development and prosperity, it must not only target at profit-making （it should not consider profit-making as its only target）. There are a lot of other things worth attention, such as, customer satisfaction and social esteem （避免there be句型泛滥，你可以尝试将上面2句话合起来成为一复杂句）. One need （needs） to （不要to） look no further than Microsoft to see it is true （To illustrate this perspective, one needs ……）. Why （can）Microsoft grow from a little company to a world famous corporation in such a short period of time （of time是不是就不要了）(of time不能去掉!)? Partly  because they produce excellent programs like Windows （Its success is not merely because their excellent products like Windows）, and also （but also）because they keep （it keeps）progressing, keep studying, （and）keep producing better programs for the customers. Only by Window3.1, Microsoft can gain a great amount of money, but they just keep hard working on providing new programs to let computer be a friendlier machine. Although they made mistakes in the programs, they release patches to mend them for free. It is their diligence and the support of the customers （responsible attitude to customers，你没有讲客户的支持） that makes （make） Microsoft thrive and prosper.

Admittedly, money is a fundamental factor of the development of a company. And profit-making is one of the aims of business, thus making money is also a crucial responsibility of the executives. Without money, it is even impossible for companies to recruit employees, buy equipments, produce products, and to invest on the development of new products, not to say （这之后是不是要用ing） create a company culture, gain customer satisfaction and win social esteem.

All in all, despite the crucial role of money, narrowly focusing on profit-making is harmful for the executives as well as their companies. A wise executive will skillfully keep a balance and ensure the prosperity of the company.

这是我的看法,不一定正确.大家一起讨论,一起提高!

udoUID: 2114276

legend早就改名levono了，

2003年，联想将其英文标识从“Legend”更换为“Lenovo”，其中“Le”取自原标识“Legend”，代表着秉承其一贯传统，新增加的“novo”取自拉丁词“新”，代表着联想的核心是创新精神。2004年，联想公司正式从“Legend”更名为“Lenovo”。

G10T5UID: 2101393

Mr. Liu is the model for many Chinese executives, 这样可以吗？

whether后面是要用or，我想表达一种“不管”的意思

in such a short period of time，加上of time当然可以。但是in a short period就可以了，除非想指明一段什么样的时期

为什么一定要说all the money they have呢？

alcestisUID: 2101945

Originally posted by G10T5 at 2005-8-14 10:53
1 Mr. Liu is the model for many Chinese executives, 这样可以吗？

2 whether后面是要用or，我想表达一种“不管”的意思

3 in such a short period of time，加上of time当然可以。但是in a short period就可以了，除非想指明一段什么样的时期

4 为什么一定要说all the money they have呢？

同意　１、３

２不加ｗｈｅｔｈｅｒ　　ｏｒ可以表达相同的意思

４　因为ｔｈｅｙ　ｈａｖｅ限定了ｍｏｎｅｙ所以有定冠词

好像是这样的　呵呵

ouymUID: 2109118

to 歪歪

我还真说不出为什么来！:L
这些“错误”是我读出来的！

ouymUID: 2109118

对于2、4，我与小艾的意见一样！