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[i习作temp] issue136 v6 8。19 高频 [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-8-19 23:51:57 |显示全部楼层
Issue136  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!
------摘要------
作者:寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间:40分50秒     469 words
从2005年7月19日21时53分到2005年7月19日22时40分
------题目------
The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.
------正文------
I strongly agree with the author that nearly everything gives us choice at least we do it or not, although usually some people complain that they have no choice, it is mainly because they are too strict to themselves. But there are still some tings people may have no choice.

Admittedly, people often have many ways to deal with things and as human beings' knowledge increase, as human beings' lives become such complex, people's choice may become much more as well. Living a life, one will meet many choices waiting for one to chose, even if looking into the small things that may not call people's attention. For example, people have to decide weather they wake up early or late every morning, decide which school they would like to go to, decide which subject they would like to study. And as the society becomes more and more complex, what people can chose at the same time increase so that people may have more choice. For example, when deciding which school to go to, there may be much more schools now, when deciding which subject they would like to study, there may be much more subjects now. Thus, people do meet many choices in their lives.

Furthermore, the fact that some people complain that they have no choice may be not true, usually they are too strict with themselves. Usually people have told themselves that they have to achieve their aims; given that condition, no matter any problem they meet they may find themselves have no choice but to solve it. For example, when a person is seeking for a job, he (or) she have already decide the slavery level in his (or) her mind, and if there are only one such job in the area but he (or) she do not like the working condition, this person may complain that there is no choice but accept the job. But is it not true, if he (or) she decreases the decided slavery level, there may be many jobs smiling to him (or) her. Thus, it is sometimes that people neglect the hidden choices.

However, although it seems that people usually have many choices, but some things according to the nature law must happen and human can not prevent them. People's power is limited, and they can not determine everything, even if influence the consequence. For example, every person have to die, people have no choice, the energy such as oil and so on have to burn out one day, people have no choice, at least now people do. Thus, sometimes people do have no choice.

To sum up, although a few things have to happen and people have no choice, however, if people open their mind and do not be so strict, they may find that they have much more choices now.
12.8, 3.10豆腐战役

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发表于 2005-8-20 07:46:32 |显示全部楼层
我来,中午来报!!

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发表于 2005-8-20 11:31:20 |显示全部楼层
------题目------
The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.
------正文------
I strongly agree with the author that nearly everything gives us choice at least we do it or not, although usually some people complain that they have no choice, it is mainly because they are too strict to themselves. But there are still some tings people may have no choice.

Admittedly, people often have many ways to deal with things and as human beings' knowledge increase, as human beings' lives become such complex, people's choice may become much more as well. Living a life, one will meet many choices waiting for one to chose, even if looking into the small things that may not call people's attention. ?? For example, people have to decide weather they wake up early or late every morning, decide which school they would like to go to, decide which subject they would like to study. And as the society becomes more and more complex, what people can chose at the same time increase so that people may have more choice. [这两个不是本质相同吗?]For example, when deciding which school to go to, there may be much more schools now, when deciding which subject they would like to study, there may be much more subjects now. Thus, people do meet many choices in their lives.
这里没必要分两个分论点吧!凑字数?句子有点生硬!
晕,有看到这个admittedly了,他的意思是‘不可否认’,是用来让步得!


Furthermore, the fact that some people complain that they have no choice may be not true, usually they are too strict with themselves. Usually people have told themselves that they have to achieve their aims; given that condition, no matter any【what】 problem they meet they may find themselves have no choice but to solve it. For example, when a person is seeking for a job, he (or) she have already decide the slavery level in his (or) her mind, and if there are only one such job in the area but he (or) she do not like the working condition, this person may complain that there is no choice but accept the job. But is it not true, if he (or) she decreases the decided slavery level, there may be many jobs smiling to him (or) her. Thus, it is sometimes that people neglect the hidden choices. [例子很恰当]
和我那篇差不多,也是考虑了态度问题!

However, although it seems that people usually have many choices, but some things according to the nature law must happen and human can not prevent them. People's power is limited, and they can not determine everything, even if influence the consequence. For example, every person have to die, people have no choice, the energy such as oil and so on have to burn out one day, people have no choice, at least now people do. Thus, sometimes people do have no choice.

To sum up, although a few things have to happen and people have no choice, however, if people open their mind and do not be so strict, they may find that they have much more choices now.

结构布局很合理,语言上还需改进!句式有点别扭!虽然我得语言也很烂!建议自己再超级仔细的修改自己得一篇,就在语句上!尽可能得耍花样!毕竟别人对你的用词习惯不是很清楚!大家改文也主要在思路得启发上!
这篇的确有点难!

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发表于 2005-8-20 11:31:54 |显示全部楼层
这是我得!

136"The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."

Start time: 19:16 2005-8-17

I agree with the speaker because everything we did in our life is our choice except in some rare situations. Besides, the fact that we think we have no choice is only the results of attitudes of ourselves.

Admittedly, a very rare circumstance is that we have no choice at all. For example, we could not choose in which family to be born, we could not choose not to be injured in the coincident traffic accident, also we could not choose to live all our life, since it is beyond our ability to expect when these things are going to happen or we human beings are not forceful enough to prevent these happenings.

Actually, in my opinion, as long as we are living in this world, we always have choices. Everything we decide to do could be called a choice. We walk because we choose to walk; we sleep because we choose to sleep. Some may argue that under some circumstances, we have no choices because of outside forces. For example, people in centralized countries are suppressed by military forces and they have to obey the rulers. Nonetheless, the reason for their compliance with the ruler could be various. They may have benefited from the centralized regime if they are offices themselves in that nation. Even if they are suffering from ultimately unreasonable taxes or other rules, it is they that choose to obey the ruler. They should have other choices like to revolt, though such action itself may need a big price. Instead, when the people in new land in America underwent cruel policies from British Empire, they chose to oppose to the British Government then and eventually gained freedom. Therefore, from this point of view, we all have choices as long as we are doing something.

However, we often hear some people in daily life say that they have no choice but to do something. That is because in all the available choices, only one is advantageous or most appropriate for them. For instance, in market economy, a corporation executer may have free choices to decide from which supplier he/she choose to buy the raw material. Mostly, he will choose the one whose price for raw material the lowest. It is evident that to choose the highest one means lose of opportunities to make high profits, and is unbeneficial to his company. Thus, such case of absence of choice is actually to choose the one with best interest.

There is another kind of case which is greatly influenced by personal character, specifically one's persistence. Essentially, it is the person's character like bravery or persistence that leads to his/her success, while others may give up in the midterm. To make success or lose the competition is also a sort of choice, however special it is. This is particularly true in the Marathon long run. Some of the athletes may not persist on because of physical exhaustion while some could stick to it no matter what the physical condition become and at last make success.

Finally, we decide to do something because we choose to do that. Whether we choose the best or choose to persist to finish one project, we are choosing to make a better life, which is the nature of human beings.

20:19 2005-8-17

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发表于 2005-8-21 00:13:42 |显示全部楼层
研究了你的文章,想了很多,分析的也多,同时关于我们有很多选择这一点你写得深刻多了,其实我以前想这个题目时也想到了,只是一限时重新想就忘了。郁闷

关于第二段:Admittedly 是让步,那么按照我的结构倾向admittedly的这个观点,应该用什么词呢? 还有我把那句红话改了:In our lives, nearly doing everything is a choice, people may chose weather to do it, how to do it and so on. We can see this point clearly in our daily small events. 这一段前一半说我们有很多选择,后一半说我们的选择会越来越多,递进的,是不是没表达清楚所以你觉得重复啊。
12.8, 3.10豆腐战役

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发表于 2005-8-21 13:29:00 |显示全部楼层
Originally posted by dinddind2003 at 2005-8-21 00:13
研究了你的文章,想了很多,分析的也多,同时关于我们有很多选择这一点你写得深刻多了,其实我以前想这个题目时也想到了,只是一限时重新想就忘了。郁闷

关于第二段:Admittedly 是让步,那么按照我的结构倾向 ...

Admittedly,...又仔细想了一下,确实可以这样!
现在明白那句啦!一开始看的时候被那个living ..., 搞蒙了!:)

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RE: issue136 v6 8。19 高频 [修改]

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