issue62 hold-on小组的作业 迟到了

小巴UID: 2145403

I disagree with the author's assertion that people are perfect inherently and do not need self-improvement." every man has the defect of his own virtue”. Though people are intrinsically deficient, they expect to be perfect, that encourage them to do self-improvement for all their lives.
"Anybody can make mistakes." everyone has flaws, which cause that he/she makes errors. People are not born to knowing any kind of knowledge, being able to complete any task. A freshman of computer science department in the college perhaps has never
heard the difference between "gateway" and "router" before his courses. At this time, it was possible that he/she was too innocent to do anything, even make errors if a teacher required him to configure the data of a LAN. Furthermore, Even a master in an area of inquiry or a business elite may nap sometimes. For example, Bill Gates has failed to predict the popularity of the Internet all over the world that made the Microsoft lose lots of profits. So committing mistakes is a common phenomenon in our lives for anybody due to his/her defect.
  For an individual, to realize insufficiencies of oneself is the first step to be successful. Then by hard working and learning from the failure, the one can achieve his/her goal of life. Generally, the individual wish to be perfect in what he/her is undertake, though that will never be come true, which impel oneself to seriously studying day by day and stand up on the time and time again. Thomas Edison found the way to build a light bulb after failing more than 1800 times. From my first time to learn computer when I even do not confirm that where the power button is to the later when I can write more than two hundreds lines of processes with VC++, I have read hundreds of lines of processes complied by experts, and programmed thousands of lines, surely making many mistakes at the same time. Stilly, there are masses of works to process for me to be an excellent programmer. In short, on the way to success, we should be preparing for huge or perhaps boring stuffs to be dealt with and depressing frustrations to be confronted.
  On the contrary, if the one ignores the flaws of oneself, he/she will come to full stop. In another word, "pride goes before fall." To be overconfident will make you far from your goal. In the 1992's final of European Foot Cup, the two teams of the match are Netherlands and Denmark. Most people thought the former would get the Cup in the last including themselves, because the team of Netherlands owns enough gifted players to win the game. They indeed held a celebration party before the match. But finally, they fell down for their overbearing, though there are several other factors leading to their failure. At the same time, the player of Denmark played corporately with full preparation in the match, and the result is not surprising actually. We can learn from the case that it is possible that making progress due to being humble always to take one's job and lives.  
To sum up, it is absurd to disavow the defect of one. We need all-sided observation and comprehension on our falsity after we admit that we are deficient intrinsically, and then do self-improvement more diligently to make us approach perfection.

[ 本帖最后由 staralways 于 2006-2-27 14:10 编辑 ]

whitemummyUID: 2166380

Issue62
I disagree with the author's assertion that people are perfect inherently and do not need self-improvement (这句话改的不好，可能要出问题。1、作者只是不赞同人自身是有缺陷的，但是没有说人内在是完美的；2、作者是说将自我提高作为一个人生目标是有问题的，并没有说不需要提高。你走向另一个极端了，呵呵，我觉得模糊表达会比较好！)." every man has the defect of his own virtue”. Though people are intrinsically deficient, they expect to be perfect, that encourage them to do self-improvement for all their lives.

"Anybody can make mistakes." everyone has flaws, which cause that he/she makes errors（Everyone has flaws and thus will unavoidably make errors,这样如何？）. People are not born to knowing any kind of knowledge, being able to complete any task. A freshman of computer science department in the college perhaps has never heard the difference between "gateway" and "router" before his courses. At this time, it was possible that he/she was too innocent to do anything, even make errors if a teacher required him to configure the data of a LAN. Furthermore, Even a master in an area of inquiry or a business elite may nap sometimes. For example, Bill Gates has failed to predict the popularity of the Internet all over the world （that made the Microsoft lose lots of profits-> which results in an immensurable profits losing of Microsoft）. So committing mistakes is a common phenomenon in our lives for anybody due to his/her defect.

  For an individual, (to realize insufficiencies of oneself is the first step to be successful->realizing his/her insufficiency is considered as one crucial step to success??这句话不好表达，呵呵！). Then by hard working and learning from the failure, the one can achieve his/her goal of life. Generally, the individual wish to be perfect in what he/her is (undertake->undertaking), though that will never （be去掉，好像是主动） come true, which (impel->impels) oneself to seriously studying day by day and stand up on the time and time again(呵呵，这句话可以换成good good study, and day day up.
考虑改一下吧，我觉得有点不好理解！). Thomas Edison found the way to build a light bulb after failing more than 1800 times. From my first time to learn computer when I even do not confirm that where the power button is to the later when I can write more than two hundreds lines of （processes-）programs，两者是不是可以互换的？） with VC++, I have read hundreds of lines of processes complied by experts, and programmed thousands of lines, surely making many mistakes at the same time. （Stilly-）still）, there are masses of works to process for me to be an excellent programmer. In short, on the way to success, we should be preparing for huge or perhaps boring stuffs to be dealt with and depressing frustrations to be confronted.

  On the contrary, if the one ignores the flaws of oneself, he/she will （come to full stop？？）. In another word, "pride goes before fall." To be overconfident will make you far from your goal. In the 1992's final of European Foot Cup, the two teams of the match are Netherlands and Denmark. Most people thought the former would get the Cup in the last, because the team of Netherlands （owns-〉owned） enough gifted players to win the game. They （indeed-）even） held a celebration party before the match. But finally, they fell down for their overbearing, though there （are-〉were） several other factors leading to their failure. At the same time, the player of Denmark played corporately with full preparation in the match, and the result is not surprising actually. We can learn from the case that it is possible that making progress due to being humble always to take one's job and lives.  
To sum up, it is absurd to disavow the defect of one. We need all-sided observation and comprehension on our falsity after we admit that we are deficient intrinsically, and then do self-improvement more diligently to make us approach perfection.

这篇issue我现在还没有写的，拿不准该从哪里入手。感觉你写得也不算太理想，可能对题目理解还不是太透彻，我也不知道该怎么写，但是总觉得写出来不是太对路子。你也再思考一下吧！

其他方面，我觉得表达上还是不太好，有些词不是很准确，句子不太好理解。前几天我写作文的时候有意识的用了一些长句，但后来看别人说不提倡那样的。因为即容易出错，又不好理解，何况在考场上可能跟本没有时间思考句型的，所以不建议用。我觉得你也考虑一下这点，另外不要用太生僻的词吧，尽量表达准确就行了。

他们都说思想最重要，可惜我根本不知道从哪里入手写！你也好好把握一下，大家一起加油！

junuyliaUID: 203675

总体看了一下，觉得你的目的好像是对人生来就是缺陷的一个辨证，不太确定，我觉得题目好像是说作者认为某观点错了，这个观点错误的原因是假设人有缺陷，但作者本人并没有说人生来是完美的。
总的来说，观点比较明确，只要讲明观点，对作者的意图理解上没有太大悬殊，我觉得是可以的。但是，本文最可怕的一点就是语病太多，语态和时态上，还有一些人称的问题，这些问题会让人感觉到很不舒服，由此对你的文章有所不屑，请多加注意。

I disagree with the author's assertion that people are perfect inherently and do not need self-improvement.作者好像没说不需要自我进步 "every man has the defect of his own virtue”可不可以请问这是一个习语吗？. Though people are intrinsically deficient, they expect to be perfect, that （这里好像有些不通）encourage them to do self-improvement for all their lives.
"Anybody can make mistakes." everyone has flaws, which cause that he/she makes errors. People are not born to knowing any kind of knowledge, being able to complete any task. A freshman of computer science department in the college（只说专业就好了，不必说明学院吧） perhaps has never
heard （of）the difference between "gateway" and "router" before his courses. At this time, it was（强调名是不是该用is） possible that he/she was too innocent to do anything, even make errors if a teacher required him to configure the data of a LAN. （在这里用一般现在时比较好）Furthermore, Even a master in an area of inquiry or a business elite may nap sometimes. For example, Bill Gates has failed（这里反而应该用过去时） to predict the popularity of the Internet all over the world that made the Microsoft lose lots of profits.（这一句应该再斟酌一下） So committing mistakes is a common phenomenon in our lives for anybody due to his/her defect.
  For an individual, to realize insufficiencies of oneself is the first step to be successful. Then by hard working （hard work or working hard）and learning from the failure（如果没有特指，不要用the）, the one can achieve his/her goal of life. Generally, the individual wish to be perfect in what he/her is undertake, though that will never be (be去掉)come true, which impel oneself to seriously studying day by day and stand up on the time and time again. （注意一下语态和人称）Thomas Edison found the way to build a light bulb after failing（完成时） more than 1800 times. From my first time to learn computer when I even do not confirm that where the power button is to the later when I can write more than two hundreds lines of processes with VC++, I have read hundreds of lines of processes complied by experts, and programmed thousands of lines, surely making many mistakes at the same time. Stilly, there are masses of works to process for me to be an excellent programmer. In short, on the way to success, we should be preparing（prepared） for huge or perhaps boring stuffs to be dealt with and depressing frustrations to be confronted.
  On the contrary, if the one（one不能加the） ignores the flaws of oneself, he/she will come to full stop. In another word, "pride goes before fall." To be overconfident will make you far from your goal. In the 1992's final of European Foot Cup, the two teams of the match are Netherlands and Denmark. Most people thought the former would get the Cup in the last including themselves, because the team of Netherlands owns enough gifted players to win the game. They indeed held a celebration party before the match. But finally, they fell down for their overbearing, though there are several other factors leading to their failure. At the same time, the player of Denmark played corporately with full preparation in the match, and the result is not surprising actually（这句不通）. We can learn from the case that it is possible that making progress due to being humble always to take one's job and lives.  
To sum up, it is absurd to disavow the defect of one. We need all-sided observation and comprehension on our falsity after we admit that we are deficient intrinsically, and then do self-improvement more diligently to make us approach perfection.