Scarlettzf 进军美利坚10.1， 诚邀牛人指点！！

scarlettzfUID: 2594692

Good looks and dresses are more important for success than good ideas. Agree or disagree?

After we enter society, we have met various kinds of people. And the only similarity of these people is that they all eager to succeed. Ways lead people to success are various according to different people. Some success because a good skill. Some success because the clever minds. And some success because of a good background, so on. And we always envy those who own both good appearance and success. Adding that nowadays some employers resist to hire the employees who do not have a good appearance, it is now believed by many people that good looking and dressing is more importance than good ideas. While, maybe some successful guy is beautiful. But the good looking is just one reason, even not so important reason, for his success. And the main reason is still the good ideas he holds. So, in my opinion, it is the good ideas that is more essential for success.

Let’s begin with a comparison of the important degree between the good appearance and good ideas on the successful people who owns both of the two. Take Xiaohui Wang as an example. She is a great artist and architect in our country. She is so beautiful and charming, no matter from the outside or the inside. And she is almost the model for every Chinese young architecture student. But we never say that it is the outlook that brings her the fame. Instead, it is the deep thought and ample experience which makes her outstanding than others.

Besides, not all the successful people are good looking. Actually, the percentage of the good looking people is small during the successful people. Take Chairman Mao for instance. His prestige is so high that almost anyone in the world knows him. Of course he is successful. But obviously he succeed not because his out looking, but because his great idea which lead Chinese people walking through difficult situation. So, It is not the appearance, but the ideas that can make others admire, follow you and make you a successful person.

Moreover, because people cannot always maintain youthful and beautiful, good idea is more reliable and more important for the long term. Some singers are famous for their good appearance and make a lot of money on their faces. They seem successful.
But if they have no ability or good idea or wisdom, when they get old and wrinkles craw all over their faces, they can hardly find any way to make money, because there are no more people who like their faces. Instead, some scientist who may look not so handsome can still earn a good life, even better, when they grow old.

In all, if you do not have a good looking and good taste for dressing, that will be all right, because the good mind and ideas can bring you to success. In this condition, a lot of leaders and scientists can be your model. But if you have nothing but only chase for a good appearance, be careful. Out looking and dressing is, after all, the surface thing and can disappear easily.

scarlettzfUID: 2594692

没上过新东方的班子，不知道写作文有哪些套路，就这样洋洋洒洒的写着。写了。。快一个小时~~~:funk: 1# scarlettzf

sharamandeUID: 2597186

After we enter society, we have met various kinds of people. And the only similarity of these people is that they (are) all eager to succeed. Ways lead people to success are various according to different people. Some success(succeed) because (of) a good skill. Some success because the clever minds. And some success because of a good background, so on. And(不用and) we always envy those who own both good appearance and success(这一句无用，不写也罢). Adding that nowadays some employers resist to hire the employees who do not have a good appearance, it is now believed by many people that good looking and dressing is more importance than good ideas(这一句话前后矛盾啊). While, maybe some successful guy is beautiful. But the good looking is just one reason, even not so important reason(说法错误，有些Chinglish), for his success. And the main reason is still the good ideas he holds(这个hold动词不错哎！). So, in my opinion, it is the good ideas that is more essential for success.(开头我感觉太拖沓了，但是也见过有人这么写，看OG上的5分作文，开头也罗嗦一大堆，所以只要你注意下语言，就没什么问题吧)

Let’s begin with a comparison of the important degree between the good appearance and good ideas on the successful people who owns both of the two. Take Xiaohui Wang(这是who？) as an example. She is a great artist and architect in our country. She is so beautiful and charming, no matter from the outside or the inside. And(写作中，不需要跟口语似的这么多and哦~) she is almost the model for every Chinese young architecture student(s). But we never say that it is the outlook that brings her the fame. Instead, it is the deep thought and ample experience which makes her outstanding than others.(不错！)

Besides, not all the successful people are good looking. Actually, the percentage of the good looking people is small during(among) the successful people. Take Chairman Mao for instance. His prestige is so high that almost anyone(everyone) in the world knows him. Of course he is successful. But obviously he succeed not because his out looking, but because his great idea(s) which lead Chinese people walking through difficult situation(s). So, It is not the appearance, but the ideas that can make others admire, follow you and make you a successful person(这最后一句感觉不太合适，又不是所有人都想让别人admire，follow，应该对之前的例子做个更普遍的总结).

Moreover, because people cannot always maintain youthful and beautiful, good idea is more reliable and more important for the long term(这个观点不错，学习了！). Some singers are famous for their good appearance and make a lot of money on their faces. They seem successful. But if they have no ability or good idea or wisdom, when they get old and wrinkles craw all over their faces, they can hardly find any way to make money, because there are no more people who like their faces. Instead, some scientist(s) who may look not so handsome can still earn a good life, even better, when they grow old.

In all, if you do not have a good looking and good taste for dressing, that will be all right(it is all right), because the good mind and ideas can (still) bring you to success. In this condition, a lot of leaders and scientists can be your model(s). But if you have nothing but only chase for a good appearance, be careful. Out looking and dressing is, after all, the surface thing and can disappear easily(这最后一句不通).

想法不错，我也没上过正规作文班，自己想着写，但是比较套路的，就是一般两点理由（因为时间关系，不然3点也好），然后每一段开头Top Sentence，后面再跟论述。也就是说，开头+理由1+理由2+结尾。
你写的挺好，我也是刚开始练，加油吧！哦，你要多注意下单复数的问题哦~

doubledianUID: 2661760

Good looks and dresses are more important for success than good ideas. Agree or disagree?( j1 s+ t* [6 v

% b, k0 [! L- B0 u; K4 J/ xAfter we enter society, we have met various kinds of people. And the only similarity of these people is that they all eager to succeed. Ways lead people to success are various according to different people. Some success because a good skill. Some success because the clever minds. And some success because of a good background, so on. And we always envy those who own both good appearance and success. Adding that nowadays some employers resist to hire the employees who do not have a good appearance, it is now believed by many people that good looking and dressing is more importance than good ideas. While, maybe some successful guy is beautiful. But the good looking is just one reason, even not so important reason, for his success. And the main reason is still the good ideas he holds. So, in my opinion, it is the good ideas that is more essential for success.# i: B+ b# \' U5 O
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Let’s begin with a comparison of the important degree between the good appearance and good ideas on the successful people who owns both of the two. Take Xiaohui Wang as an example. She is a great artist and architect in our country. She is so beautiful and charming, no matter from the outside or the inside. And she is almost the model for every Chinese young architecture student. But we never say that it is the outlook that brings her the fame. Instead, it is the deep thought and ample experience which makes her outstanding than others.
8 ^6 Q& Y1 s; I" @2 A% z7 e ; w3 z4 E  L2 o3 y, j
Besides, not all the successful people are good looking. Actually, the percentage of the good looking people is small during the successful people. Take Chairman Mao for instance. His prestige is so high that almost anyone in the world knows him. Of course he is successful. But obviously he succeed not because his out looking, but because his great idea which lead Chinese people walking through difficult situation. So, It is not the appearance, but the ideas that can make others admire, follow you and make you a successful person.5 i0 [2 Z! |5 H) p' _2 P+ W
% `. ]& k1 u& O5 r( r' s( l: U( W
Moreover, because people cannot always maintain youthful and beautiful, good idea is more reliable and more important for the long term. Some singers are famous for their good appearance and make a lot of money on their faces. They seem successful.
2 u) H3 F/ s! O! W: e/ T' PBut if they have no ability or good idea or wisdom, when they get old and wrinkles craw all over their faces, they can hardly find any way to make money, because there are no more people who like their faces. Instead, some scientist who may look not so handsome can still earn a good life, even better, when they grow old.
- U' [- ]1 r" v+ S1 J& ^2 _
3 @$ g. J2 C8 }& j& u8 \In all, if you do not have a good looking and good taste for dressing, that will be all right, because the good mind and ideas can bring you to success. In this condition, a lot of leaders and scientists can be your model. But if you have nothing but only chase for a good appearance, be careful. Out looking and dressing is, after all, the surface thing and can disappear easily.

scarlettzfUID: 2594692

Learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

We have taken a lot of history classes, as history lesson is a must for us students when we have our high school. And it is a topic since we were very young that should we spend so much time on the history. Some think it is not worthy for us learning history, because the present society is so developed and we can hardly see any relationship between history and future, even present. However, in my perspective, I respect and pay so much attention on history because the close relationship between the past, now and future.

To begin with, we learn the precious experience from the past which can keep us from the wrong method and direction and can give us the short pass to success. We have a lot of famous sayings from the past. For example, the most classical one is “Rome cannot be built in one day.” That is the wisdom of the ancient people and it tells us that one can never be too eager to see the result. And also, we learnt the history of the disaster of the Pearl Harbor. Having learnt from that failure, we get the experience of be on alarm at anytime and be careful even to the nearest friends.

Secondly, only if we know the pass well can we understand now better. It is a so developed society that a lot of things exist there out of our understanding. For example, we say that the characteristic of Chinese people is gentle and mild and always friendly to each other. Someone who doesn’t know the history of china will not get understand of why Chinese people have such characteristic and they even say that this mild is a potential danger for the world. Well, actually it has something related to the ancient Chinese culture. We Chinese have a admire for Master Kong and his
Confucianism, just as the westerners say their bible. The main thought in the Confucianism is to be good and friend to others.If we know even a little about the history can we known better about how do things appear like this.

Moreover, history shows us the regulation of the development of things. So having known the regulations better, we can predict the future more reasonable and exact. For example, China had a tough history in the early 18’s. The pioneers searched a lot of ways to lead people out of disaster. One most prestigious and important leader is Chairman Mao. Why can he find a way which in that time fits the historical environment? One big reason is that he learnt so much on Chinese and world history. Having compared between China and other third world country, having considered the reason of the past unsuccessful Chinese history, he chose the way of communism. And he foresaw the China’s future so correctly that something he said in those days gets proved now. This example teaches us the importance of the experience and the clear mind people get from the history.

In all, history tells us the wisdom of the ancient people and it gives us the better understanding of the presence and the mind and eyesight to foresee the future things. So just catch the past and learn more about it!

larcwingUID: 2528204

5# scarlettzf

We have taken a lot of history classes, as history lesson is a must for us students when we have(attend) our high school. And it is a topic(there's an argument) since we were very young that should we spend so much time on the history. Some think it is not worthy for us learning history, because the present society is so developed and we can hardly see any relationship between history and future, even present. However, in my perspective, I respect and pay so much attention on history because the close relationship between the past, now and future.

To begin with, we learn the precious experience from the past which can keep us from the（去掉） wrong methods and directions and can give(guide) us (to) the short pass(cut) to success. We have a lot of famous sayings from the past. For example, the most classical one is “Rome cannot be built in one day.” That is the wisdom of the ancient people and it tells us that one can never be too eager to see the result.（对名言总结很好！赞！） And also, we learnt the history of the disaster of the Pearl Harbor. Having learnt from that failure, we get the experience(learn the lesson) of be(being) on alarm at anytime and be careful even to the nearest friends.

Secondly, only if we know the pass(past) well can we understand now better. It is a so developed society that a lot of things exist there out of our understanding. For example, we say that the characteristics of Chinese people is gentle and mild and always friendly to each other. Someone who doesn’t know the history of china will not get understand of(get to understand, or simply just "understand") why Chinese people have such characteristic and they even say that this mild is a potential danger for(threat to) the world. Well, actually it has something related to the ancient Chinese culture. We Chinese have a admire for Master Kong and his Confucianism, just as the westerners say their bible. The main thought in the Confucianism is to be good and friend(friendly) to others.If we know even a little about the history can we known better about how do things appear like this.

Moreover, history shows us the regulation("natural laws" or "regular patterns" will be better) of the development of things. So(?Why use so here?) having known the regulations better, we can predict the future more reasonable(rational?) and exact(reliable?我觉得用exact不合适). For example, China had a tough history in the early 18’s. The pioneers searched a lot of ways to lead people out of disaster（可以考虑换个词，这个词前面用过的。比如suffering？）. One most prestigious and important leader is Chairman Mao. Why can he find a way which in that time fits the historical environment? One big reason is that he learnt so much on Chinese and world history. Having compared between(the different situations) China and other third world country(countries)(faced), having considered the reasons of the past unsuccessful Chinese history, he chose the way of communism. And he foresaw the China’s future so correctly that something he said in those days gets proved now. This example teaches us the importance of the experience and the clear mind people get from the history.

In all, history tells us the wisdom of the ancient people and it gives us the better understanding of the presence(present) and the mind and eyesight to foresee the future things. So just catch the past and learn more about it!

看得出语言功底很不错，也有思想，也有很多例子举（羡慕ing~~），就是对例子的叙述不是那么到位，当然你在半个小时里面可以写这么多，已经很强啦！！

淡青印象UID: 2639751

Wehave taken a lot of history classes, as history lesson is a must for usstudents when we have our high school. And it is a topic since we werevery young that should we spend so much time on the history. Some thinkit is not worthy for us learning history, because the present societyis so developed and we can hardly see any relationship between historyand future, even present. However, in my perspective, I respect and payso much attention on history because the close relationship between thepast, now and future.
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, P; M$ P4 l, qTobegin with, we learn the precious experience from the past which cankeep us from the wrong method and direction and can give us the shortpass to success. We have a lot of famous sayings from the past. Forexample, the most classical one is “Rome cannot be built in one day.”That is the wisdom of the ancient people and it tells us that one cannever be too eager to see the result. And also, we learnt the historyof the disaster of the Pearl Harbor. Having learnt from that failure,we get the experience of be on alarm at anytime and be careful even tothe nearest friends.
5 [% @$ O' {4 f. q
% `# u8 J; m: r% x! ]# r3 DSecondly,only if we know the past well can we understand now better. It is a sodeveloped society that a lot of things exist there out of ourunderstanding. For example, we say that the characteristic of Chinesepeople is gentle and mild and always friendly to each other. Someonewho doesn’t know the history of china will not get understand of whyChinese people have such characteristic and they even say that thismild is a potential danger for the world. Well, actually it hassomething related to the ancient Chinese culture. We Chinese have aadmire for Master Kong and his
4 d5 q. G- b$ w7 ~;Confucianism, just as the westerners say their bible. The main thought in the Confucianism is to be good and friend to others.If we know even a little about the history can we known better about how do things appear like this.( |& O6 {. O9 ?% b' K9 Q2 H/ o# _
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Moreover,history shows us the regulation of the development of things. So havingknown the regulations better, we can predict the future more reasonableand exact. For example, China had a tough history in the early 18’s.The pioneers searched a lot of ways to lead people out of disaster. Onemost prestigious and important leader is Chairman Mao. Why can he finda way which in that time fits the historical environment? One bigreason is that he learnt so much on Chinese and world history. Havingcompared between China and other third world country, having consideredthe reason of the past unsuccessful Chinese history, he chose the wayof communism. And he foresaw the China’s future so correctly thatsomething he said in those days gets proved now. This example teachesus the importance of the experience and the clear mind people get fromthe history.
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0 n" F: y% H' _' `) C& W0 EInall, history tells us the wisdom of the ancient people and it gives usthe better understanding of the presence and the mind and eyesight toforesee the future things. So just catch the past and learn more aboutit!

toefl作文的主体段其实不要求三段，两段然后再来一个让步（可不写）就可以了，但楼主很厉害哈，有这么多例子！
代评的，ISu由于客观原因不能上网。。。

Jodie_310UID: 2439321

Learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.. e4 t9 ~# c& Y

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We have taken a lot of history classes, as history lesson is a must for us students when we have（study in） our high school. And it is a topic since we were very young that should we spend so much time on the history. Some think it is not worthy for us learning history, because the present society is so developed and we can hardly see any relationship between history and future, even present. However, in my perspective, I respect and pay so much attention on history because the close relationship between(三个以上是不是要用among？) the past, now and future.

To begin with, we learn the precious experience from the past which can keep us from the wrong method and direction and can give us the short pass to success. We have a lot of famous sayings from the past. For example, the most classical one is “Rome cannot be built in one day.” That is the wisdom of the ancient people and it tells us that one can never be too eager to see the result. And also（and 和also是重复的啦，我觉得换成in addition或 moreover还好些）, we learnt the history of the disaster of the Pearl Harbor. Having learnt from that failure, we get the experience of be on alarm at anytime and be careful even to the nearest friends. " `  n9 Z/ H! }& }! E: r

Secondly, only if we know the pass well can we understand now better. It is a so developed society that a lot of things exist there out of our understanding. For example, we say that the characteristic of Chinese people is gentle and mild and always friendly to each other. Someone who doesn’t know the history of china will not get understand of why Chinese people have such characteristic and they even say that this mild is a potential danger for the world. Well, actually it has something related to the ancient Chinese culture. We Chinese have an admire（直接说appreciate就行了） for Master Kong and his Confucianism, just as the westerners say their bible. The main thought in the Confucianism is to be good and friend（friendly） to others. If we know even a little about the history can we known better about how do things appear like this.6 l7 Y4 u; B8 h+ U2 ]/ @

Moreover, history shows us the regulation of the development of things. So having known the regulations better, we can predict the future more reasonable and exact. For example, China had a tough history in the early 18’s. The pioneers searched a lot of ways to lead people out of disaster. One most prestigious and important leader is Chairman Mao. Why can he find a way which in that time fits the historical environment? One big reason is that he learnt so much on Chinese and world history. Having compared between China and other third world country, having considered the reason of the past unsuccessful Chinese history, he chose the way of communism. And he foresaw the China’s future so correctly that something he said in those days gets proved now. This example teaches us the importance of the experience and the clear mind people get from the history.

In all, history tells us the wisdom of the ancient people and it gives us the better understanding of the presence and the mind and eyesight(连用了好几个and呀，有些时候直接用逗号还好些，一个句子里最好只用一个and，连接概念对等、功能相同的词) to foresee the future things. So just catch the past and learn more about it!

你称赞我写的作文，害我不好意思了。应该就你看的那一篇稍微好点。有时候例子举得好确实能吸引人。
我觉得你的文章很流畅，一些语法方面的错误我没太认真看，前面已经有几个人帮你改过这篇文章了吧。例子丰富是很好的，托福就是强调细节化。我觉得你在用词方面还可以再加强些，再多用几个更高级的词汇就更好了。像something这些的词要少用，略显口语化。
小组里写得好的同学有旸旸，浪迹天涯等等等等。旸旸的作文很严谨，很有套路。浪迹天涯的很有思想，比较有深度。都值得学习呢。
我还得多学习你的口语啊，呵呵。

larcwingUID: 2528204

scarlet同学~~我10.2的作文你好像还没有帮我点评呢。。。。