进军美利坚小组作文~~15日作业起~

fanfan0502UID: 2439300

15日：

Whether teachers should receive the salary the same as those of doctors、lawyers or business leaders? It is a controversial one to determine. To give a certain answer, we should take further analysis.

As we all can see, there are some people who hold the opinion that teachers in fact shouldn’t get a pay that is as much as those of the ones we have mentioned above. They insist that business leaders、doctors and lawyers all work under great pressure. Their works are quite professional and the works need not only professional knowledge but also years’ personal experience and overall ability. On the contrary, teacher’s work is very fundamental. They believe that those who have received college education can become a teacher after a short professional training.

However, there is another group of people who hold the opposite point of view. First of all, they think that teacher is the most important role in the whole society. Everyone knows that youth is the hope for the future. And it is just the teacher who help those little kids become the future doctors、lawyers and business leaders. Even after some business leaders have made great achievement, they will go to some teachers in business or management for further study and knowledge. Then we can see the importance of teachers.

Perhaps those who hold the first opinion will go further to emphasize that how much salary one receive should depend on how much he can earn. So teacher shouldn’t get so high a pay as business leaders do.

However, we are good to say that it is not the only consideration we should take when determine the salary. On the contrary, sometimes, we should give someone a higher salary because of the reason that he could earn little money. Why? As we all know, business is always the hottest major in college. Though there are lots of reasons for this phenomenon, we have to admit that the future income is the most important factor. We can see many youth with an outstanding performance with the dream of becoming a business leader or professional lawyer. They are desire for personal achievement and high salary as well. Then, it is clear that in order to improve teachers’ quality as a whole, we must increase their salary.

What’s more, it is teachers who help us all the way for our own success. And we have the duty to consider more for them, and be sure they could have what they deserve.

All in all, according to me, I incline to hold the position that teachers deserve the same salary as business leaders、doctors and lawyers.


欢迎大家指导~~

fanfan0502UID: 2439300

16日：

题目：years fromnow，people will have more leisure time

Our world is now changing rapidly because of technological evolution. We can say for certain that our life has improved a lot. But whether we will have more leisure time from now because of those changes is still under discussion.

Some people may give the positive answer. And the main position held by them is that technology has made the world more efficient. People could do more things within less time. It is the fact. The best example may be the internet and the new ways of transport. A letter that would take weeks to reach the destination costs only seconds in the e-mail way through internet, travelling the same distance. Peoples’ travelling hours are largely reduced because of the new conveyances.

However, this cannot be sufficient to support the assertion that people have more leisure time. We should take a look at how people will use their time that is saved by such efficient. Though a marketing manager can save much time travelling by plane rather than by train, he will have to travel more to other places to meet his clients. If we compare the two situations, we can easily find that travelling by train can actually offer him more leisure time, so that he could read novels or do personal affairs on the train. So the more time is saved, the more thing you get to do.

Another factor that effect our leisure time is the development of information world. In the information age, the latest information means capital and money. But there is abundant information coming out every second and you need to learn and select. It’s a huge work. We can easily find people busy reading newspaper or watch TV news when they are having vacation. It’s really crucial to connect the latest news with their business in the world with such fierce competition.

What’s more, new ways of communication have made our life better, but they have taken much our leisure time as well. It is not hard for us to recall a personal time when we were interrupted by business phone calls or working emails.

All in all, our world is still changing rapidly and it will change even faster. As technology makes our life more efficient, it takes the personal time of individuals. So I’m inclined to say that people can hardly have more leisure time in the following years.


欢迎所有童鞋指导！

doubledianUID: 2661760

Our world is now changing rapidly because of technological evolution. We can say for certain that our life has improved a lot. But whether we will have more leisure time from now because of（这地方用because of读着很不顺） those changes is （前面是changes这里怎么用is？但是我看奔跑给你改得时候没有指出这个，所以我怀疑我说的是不是正确的）still under discussion.

Some people may give the positive answer. And the main position held by them is that technology has made the world more efficient. People could do more things within less time. It is the fact. The best example may be the internet and the new ways of transport. A letter that would take weeks to reach the destination costs only seconds in the e-mail way through internet, travelling the same distance. Peoples’ travelling hours are largely reduced because of the new conveyances.

However, this cannot be sufficient to support the assertion that people have more leisure time. We should take a look at how people will use their time that is saved by such efficient. Though a marketing manager can save much time travelling by plane rather than by train, he will have to travel more to other places to meet his clients. If we compare the two situations, we can easily find that travelling by train can actually offer him more leisure time, so that he could read novels or do personal affairs on the train. So the more time is saved, the more thing（根据word的意见，这里应该是things） you get to do.
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Another factor that effect （这个地方不需要加s？effects）our leisure time is the development of information world. In the information age, the latest information means capital and money. But there is abundant information coming out every second and you need to learn and select. It’s a huge work. We can easily find people busy reading newspaper or watch TV news when they are having vacation. It’s really crucial to connect the latest news with their business in the world with such fierce competition.
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What’s more, new ways of communication have made our life better, but they have taken much our leisure time as well. It is not hard for us to recall a personal time when we were interrupted by business phone calls or working emails. % ~: |6 Z9 b6 a2 R* k7 b

All in all, our world is still changing rapidly and it will change even faster. As technology makes our life more efficient, it takes the personal time of individuals. So I’m inclined to say that people can hardly have more leisure time in the following years.


写得很好，我例文啊，思路清晰，论证准确，我指出的那几个错误因为看到奔跑没有指出，所以怀疑它的正确性，毕竟你和奔跑的水平高出我10倍，不知道我的改的对不对，请谅解！

fanfan0502UID: 2439300

17日：

题目：To truly understand world event, we should get our news from newspaper; television cannot provide enough information.

Nowadays, the world is becoming closer and closer. In such an information age, in order to keep ahead in each area, a most important key is the latest information. But through which way we can get what we need best, newspaper or TV? Different people hold different opinions.

Some people consider newspaper as the most classical and the best way of getting information. They seem to have plenty reasons. First, there are all kinds of newspaper. And it offers people with different concerns what they exactly want. It won’t waste people’s time on searching for what they want to read. Second，newspaper has a huge amount of information. Newspaper proponents insist that each paper of newspaper contains 15 to 20 pages with full information that will cost you several hours to finish, while a news program on TV lasts only 30 minutes or shorter. What’s more, the TV news is often in brief, and it never go deep.

However, the assertions above are somewhat inaccurate. First, TV channels now are increasing and are becoming more specific and professional. We can easily find sports channels、economic channels、music channels and other kinds from different companies. And each of these channels has its own news program or other programs contained news information.
Second, we can easily find a news channel now on TV. This kind of channel broadcast news information all day long. It will absolutely cover more not less information than newspaper. Third, we cannot deny that most comprehensive mews program offers brief news. But there are many program focus on a specific event. And this program can give more information and a more over-all perspective of this event than newspaper does, I’m sure.

Compared with the two most basic ways of get information, we can find more advantages of TV news. For example, through newspaper, we can know today’s big event only till tomorrow, but through TV, we can learn it today, sometimes only half an hour later. What’s more, as we all know, newspaper increase the pressure to the environment, and it’s a factor of pollution. But TV news is free of this problem.

All in all, due to the reasons I mention above, I’m inclined to say that TV is a much better way for us to get news information, compared with newspaper.

scutgongUID: 2564275

Nowadays, the world is becoming closer and closer（close指代的意思不够明确，是距离的远近还是关系的亲疏呢）. In such an information age, in order to keep ahead in each area, a （the） most important key is the latest information. But through which way we can get what we need best, newspaper or TV? Different people hold different opinions.

Some people consider newspaper as the most classical and the best way of getting information. They seem to have plenty （of）reasons. First, there are all kinds of newspaper. And it offers people with different concerns what they exactly want. It won’t waste people’s time on (in) searching for what they want to read. Second，newspaper has a huge amount of information. Newspaper proponents insist that each paper of newspaper contains 15 to 20 pages with full information that will cost you several hours to finish, while a news program on TV lasts only 30 minutes or shorter. What’s more, the TV news is often in brief, and it never go deep.

However, the assertions above are somewhat inaccurate. First, TV channels now are increasing and are becoming more specific and professional. We can easily find sports channels、economic channels、music channels and other kinds from different companies. And each of these channels has its own news program or other programs contained news information.

Second, we can easily find a news channel now on TV. This kind of channel broadcast news information all day long. It will absolutely cover more not less information than newspaper. Third, we cannot deny that most comprehensive news program offers brief news. But there are many programs focus on a specific event. And this program can give more information and a more over-all perspective of this event than newspaper does, I’m sure.

Compared with the two most basic ways of get information, we can find more advantages of TV news. For example, through newspaper, we can know today’s big events only till tomorrow, but through TV, we can learn it today, sometimes only half an hour later. What’s more, as we all know, newspaper increase the pressure to the environment, and it’s a factor of pollution. But TV news is free of this problem.

All in all, due to the reasons I mention above, I’m inclined to say that TV is a much better way for us to get news information, compared with newspaper.

写的很好，在这么短的时间来，还用了GRE的写法。比较佩服。
值得学习。
少量的错误。

fanfan0502UID: 2439300

4# doubledian

But whether we will have more leisure time from now because of（这地方用because of读着很不顺） those changes is （前面是changes这里怎么用is？但是我看奔跑给你改得时候没有指出这个，所以我怀疑我说的是不是正确的）still under discussion.

这个句子的主干是：But, whether we will ... is still under discussion.

其他你改的都对的，多谢！辛苦啦，呵呵！

fanfan0502UID: 2439300

19日：

题目：该重视学习concepts &ideas呢，还是重视学习facts呢？

As we all know, to learn concepts and ideas and to learn facts are both quite important. But people don’t have the common view about which one is more important.

Some people believe that learning facts is absolutely more important than learning concepts and ideas. They use the saying that “Practical knowledge is true knowledge” to emphasize.

We cannot deny that most concepts and ideas come from thousands of facts. Only when we have learned those facts well, then we can abstract the theory from them. However, this doesn’t mean that learning facts is more important.

It is widely accepted that theories guide actions. Theories like concepts and ideas are the basic knowledge no matter in what area. If we have learnt concepts and ideas well, we can apply them to any situation, or, we can say, any fact. And the cream of thoughts and theories can help us a lot in practical actions. Having a deep understanding of the cream, we can avoid a lot of problems that will otherwise draw back our action. What’s more, with plenty knowledge of concepts and ideas, we can learn all kinds of facts better, for those theories have told us the law of the nature and the society.

But if we learn the facts first, the result will be totally different. We can learn some facts well. But, concepts and ideas are summarized from so many facts in so long a period that we can never get them from several facts. So，we can see, what we learn from several specific facts can hardly be used in other facts or situations, while the concepts and ideas we have learnt are suitable and practical to every situation or fact.

All in all, I’m inclined to hold the position that learning concepts and ideas is much more important than learning facts. Only when we have learnt the theories well, then we can pay more attention on the facts.

这个题目真不好写，超时，还写的很不顺畅，大家好好批啊~~

zhengping001UID: 2689322

19日

题目：该重视学习concepts &ideas呢，还是重视学习facts呢？

As we all know, tolearn concepts and ideas and to learn facts are both quite important. Butpeople don’t have the common view about which one is more important.

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Some people believe that learning facts isabsolutely more important than learning concepts and ideas. They use the sayingthat “Practical knowledge is true knowledge” to emphasize. "C% P! l2 D% r0 V2 S

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We cannot deny that most concepts and ideascome from thousands of facts. Only when we have learned those facts well, thenwe can abstract the theory(theories) from them. However, this doesn’t mean that learning facts is moreimportant.1 e& i7 E* u3 k0 J

It is widely accepted that theories guide actions. Theories likeconcepts and ideas are the basic knowledge no matter in what area. If we havelearnt concepts and ideas well, we can apply them to any situation, or, we cansay, any fact. And the creamof thoughts and theories can help us a lot in practical actions. Having a deepunderstanding of the cream, we can avoid a lot of problems that will otherwisedraw back our action(actions). What’s more, with plenty(plentiful) knowledge of concepts and ideas, we can learn all kinds offacts better, for those theories have told us the law of the nature and thesociety.

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But if we learn the facts first, the result(results) will be totallydifferent. We can learn some facts well. But, concepts and ideas are summarizedfrom so many facts in so long a period(a solong period,不知道哪种是对？请再确认一下)
that we can never get them from several facts. So，we can see, what we learn from several specific facts can hardly(hard) be used in otherfacts or situations, while the concepts and ideas we have learnt are suitableand practical to every situation or fact. # A3 r% X! ^( A

All in all, I’m inclined to hold the position that learningconcepts and ideas is much more important than learning facts. Only when wehave learnt the theories well, then we can pay more attention on the facts.

写得不错，结构很新颖，错误很少，有很多很漂亮的句子，我要向你好好学习，呵呵，要帮我回改哦！

fanfan0502UID: 2439300

20日：

题目：People will spend less time in cooking and preparing food in 20 years later. Do you agree or disagree?

The service industry has developed a lot in recent years. And the development will continue. Facing more and more restaurants with good dishes and service, will people spend less time in cooking and choose to go to restaurant 20 years later? Different people hold different opinions.

Some people think people will of course spend less time cooking and preparing food in the future. As they said, why would we bother about cooking ourselves at home if we could have better food in a restaurant? We can save the time of cooking to do something else, like talking with friends or reading newspaper. And we don’t have to wash the pan、bowls and dishes. So they get the conclusion that people will prefer eating in restaurants to cooking at home.

However, other people oppose them by pointing out some flaws in their analysis. First of all, they have ignored the economic factor. Though it is true that people’s life will be better and better in 20 years later, some families will still have to save to live. Then convenience and good taste will not be their main concern.

Additionally, for those who don’t have the problem of saving money, they can avoid the problem of washing dishes at home. As we all know, the plate wash machine has already been designed, and it will be widely used 20years later. As life condition improves, there will be more kinds of spices made for certain dish. These spices will make it more easily for us to cook better.

What’s more, in a machine served age 20 years later, most of the housework can be done by machines. Cooking will become a interest for most people, including men and women. People will have fun, working hard on how to make the food more delicious.

All in all, for the reasons I’ve mentioned above, I’m inclined to hold the position that people will spend more time cooking and preparing food at home 20 years later.

多谢点评的各位！

lupiscesUID: 2231942

( n. d* H! y. X8 Z  m6 j- { ) j5 f2 L* e' O+ |! _9 u; B The service industry has developed a lot in recent years. And the development will continue. Facing(我觉得这里用facing不好，就用with吧) more and more restaurants with good dishes and service, will people spend less time in cooking and choose to go to restaurant 20 years later? Different people hold different opinions.开头很简洁' i8 a7 j9 o+ a' v ; S& }& p; N( {2 vSome people think people will of course spend less time cooking and preparing food in the future. As they said, why would we bother about cooking ourselves at home if we could have better food in a restaurant? We can save the time of cooking to do something else, like talking with friends or reading newspaper. And we don’t have to wash the pan、bowls and dishes. So they get the conclusion that people will prefer eating in restaurants to cooking at home. 2 W8 ^! M$ x' k6 V' k " X: Z1 Y* Y' w1 h2 W. q0 L" n9 r However, other people oppose them by pointing out some flaws in their analysis. First of all, they have ignored the economic factor. Though it is true that people’s life will be better and better in 20 years later, some families will still have to save（加个money比较好） to live. Then convenience and good taste will not be their main concern. 8 `7 D+ |, T. p' Z+ _ 0 A  N, w. t" |6 W5 d% \) O5 S Additionally, for those who don’t have the problem of saving money, they can avoid the problem of washing dishes at home. As we all know, the plate wash machine has already been designed, and it will be widely used 20years later. As life condition improves, there will be more kinds of spices made for certain dish. These spices will make it more easily for us to cook better.! i9 ^& W" J( o' h  b, @5 A/ {# ? 1 w3 L( P. k1 D( O& g9 A* yWhat’s more, in a machine served age 20 years later, most of the housework can be done by machines. Cooking will become a interest for most people, including men and women. People will have fun, working hard on how to make the food more delicious. 7 K$ s' ?- w/ C7 V5 }% h 6 C4 P6 {& F0 \* } All in all, for the reasons I’ve mentioned above, I’m inclined to hold the position that people will spend more time cooking and preparing food at home 20 years later. 楼主语法没什么问题，但是我觉得与其每段写一点，不如少写一，二段，将内容充实一点。 这样都没用什么detail来支持，感觉比较像大纲。。。 P.S.不好意思有点晚了，因为白天要工作。。

melody106UID: 2559573

The service industry has developed a lot in recent years. And the development will continue. Facing more and more restaurants with good dishes and service, will people spend less time in cooking and choose to go to restaurant 20 years later? Different people hold different (换成various就不会和前面重复了)opinions.
9 a) p1 i/ n) w( c0 y , k; E: g. e7 `9 L' H; @* v
Some people think people will of course spend less time cooking and preparing food in the future. As they said, （后面转换了主语they—we，这里换个标点：比较好）why would we bother about cooking （for）ourselves at home if we could have better food in a restaurant? We can save the time of cooking to do something else, like talking with friends or reading newspaper. And we don’t have to wash the pan、bowls and dishes. So they get the conclusion that people will prefer eating in restaurants to cooking at home.
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) E8 f# s% i' S; B. h+ i9 ~However, other people oppose them by pointing out some flaws in their analysis. First of all, they have ignored the economic factor. Though it is true that people’s life will be better and better in 20 years later, some families will still have to save to live. Then convenience and good taste will not be their main concern. / O, L! b# H, ?

6 f7 m( v' N( c/ }. EAdditionally, for those who don’t have the problem of saving money, they can avoid the problem of washing dishes at home. As we all know, the plate wash machine has already been designed, and it will be widely used 20years later. As life condition improves(get improved), there will be more kinds of spices made for certain dish. These spices will make it more easily for us to cook better.
7 p, ?3 w% t, j1 _$ x. [( r
! \! _; n" D2 Q8 L/ Q; b2 ZWhat’s more, in a machine served age 20 years later这半句意思不清晰, most of the housework can be done by machines. Cooking will become a（an） interest for most people, including men and women（对and可以换一下as well as）. People will have fun, working hard on how to make the food more delicious.
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& D2 q! j& N) K/ S& uAll in all, for the reasons I’ve mentioned above, I’m inclined to hold the position that people will spend more time cooking and preparing food at home 20 years later.7
简洁明了，希望语言和句式多些变化，
另外，既然最后有个人偏向，不如开始就列明。
不好意思评晚了。我这两次作文总是控制不好字数和时间，呵呵。
加油！

LRXSSUID: 2695903

As we all know, to learn concepts and ideas and to learn facts are both quite important. But people don’t have the common view about which one is more important.

Some people believe that learning facts is absolutely more important than learning concepts and ideas. They use the saying that “Practical knowledge is true knowledge” to emphasize. 3 Q7 N; Z1 x" q! j

We cannot deny that most concepts and ideas come from thousands of facts. Only when we have learned those facts well, then we can 这里  用倒装好些   因为你已经说 only了 abstract the theory from them. However, this doesn’t mean that learning facts is more important.+ {
感觉开头长了
2 X( M3 \" w' ]2 I' w# u
+ {. V  m# O) b+ V) a
It is widely accepted that theories guide actions. Theories like concepts and ideas are the basic knowledge no matter in what area 感觉有点chiglish的意思 直接说在各种领域即可. If we have learnt concepts and ideas well, we can apply them to any situation, or, we can say, any fact. And the cream of thoughts and theories can help us a lot in practical actions. Having a deep understanding of the cream 奶油？...., we can avoid a lot of problems that will otherwise draw back our action. What’s more, with plenty knowledge of concepts and ideas, we can learn all kinds of facts better, for those theories have told us the law of the nature and the society." ?- v* E: p/ c1 B0 N/ H9 Q

But if we learn the facts first, the result will be totally different. We can learn some facts well. But, concepts and ideas are summarized from so many facts in so long a period that we can never get them from several facts. So，we can see, what we learn from several specific facts can hardly be used in other facts or situations, while the concepts and ideas we have learnt are suitable and practical to every situation or fact. % \, x6 y1 Q2 R4 [+ ~6 }1 ~
觉得这两段并不是很有说服力
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All in all, I’m inclined to hold the position that learning concepts and ideas is much more important than learning facts. Only when we have learnt the theories well, then we can pay more attention on the facts.8 V: n: K&



语法挺好的   呵呵   还要加强逻辑性 另外适当用点好的词汇啊