Issue243 by WCNK

wcnkUID: 2546550

ISSUE243 - "The true value of a civilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than in its scientific accomplishments."

What means can reflect the true value of a civilization more? Are the artistic creations or the scientific accomplishments that can be more repetitive? In my view, whether artistic creations weighs more than scientific accomplishments rely on different respective of the word "value".

Admittedly, I agree with the speaker's claim that the true value of a civilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than scientific accomplishments, but only before the prediction that value is explained as "preciousness". After all, each great kind of art is a unique, unpatrolled kind of creation which will not be replaced even with the evolution of human race and the developing of the society. Besides, as relating to sensibility part, everyone may have different feeling to one particular piece of art. It is the ambiguous feeing that everyone has can reflect the complexity and abundance, which, obviously, part of the true value of one particular civilization. One example is the Renaissance man--Leonardo Da Vanci. He is known for his great art of painting "Mona Lisa". Actually, he is not only a brilliant painter but also a man of science who did serious investigations into the natural and physical sciences, mathematics, mechanics. Even he is a person who is accomplished in many different areas, most people get to know him simply from his creation of painting--which surely one kind of art. For some reasons his accomplishment on painting is excellent, but on the other hand, it have undeniable relativity with the own character of art.

However, when the word "value" comes to the understanding of "importance and usefulness", the scientific accomplishments can be a better reflector for a civilization's true value, for one distinct reason that it is mainly the advancement of scientific achievements that illustrate the advanced level a civilization has reached. Because civilization is defined as "a place where one feel comfortable, especially because it is modern" in the dictionary, using scientific achievements as the reflection of the true value of a civilization accord with the common value system of majority. And scientific advancements are the major mean of indicating the enhancement of living quality, which can be considered as the true value of a civilization.

In all, art and science are indispensible in many areas, they two mixed together makes the most important form of reflecting the true value of a civilization. Consider photography as the example. The development of art forms such as photograph was made possible because of scientific discovery at 1830s. What's more, as the developing of science and the popularization of computers, correlative forms of art are deduces from the original photography. Clearly, the new born form of photography account for each of the two sides but belongs to neither. It can reflect the true value of a civilization but you can hardly figure out which part weighs more than the other.

What I believe is that, as more scientific accomplishments are discovered, more artistic creations are created, art and science will be conjunct tighter and tighter, The two can create a new agent that neither of those two method cannot compare with, on revealing the true value of a civilization.

TEFouDAFUID: 2759255

限于個人邏輯不好 故僅僅改動了細枝末節
在此請您回拍 謝謝

What means(讀上去感覺挺詭異的 但不知道怎么調整) can reflect the true value of a civilization more? Are the artistic creations or the scientific accomplishments that can be more repetitive? In my view, whether artistic creations weighs more than(outweighs 似乎沒有這樣的用法) scientific accomplishments rely(relies) on different respective(perspectives respective是形容詞或副詞 “各自”的意思) of the word "value".

Admittedly, I agree with the speaker's claim that the true value of a civilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than scientific accomplishments, but only before the prediction that value is explained as "preciousness". After all, each great kind of art is a unique, unpatrolled(unparalleled) kind of creation which will not be replaced even with the evolution of human race and the developing(development 與evolution照應) of the society. Besides, as relating to sensibility part(不太明白the part concerning sensation 嗎？), everyone may have different feeling to one particular piece of art. It is the ambiguous feeing that everyone has can reflect the complexity and abundance, which, obviously, part of the true value of one particular civilization. One example is the Renaissance man--Leonardo da Vinci(da 是虛詞要小寫的). He is known for his great art of(可以刪掉嗎？great或可換成marvellous) painting "Mona Lisa". Actually, he is not only a brilliant painter but also a man of science who did serious investigations into the natural and physical sciences, mathematics
and
mechanics. Even he is a person who is accomplished in many different areas, most people get to know him simply from his creation of painting--which is
surely one kind of art. For some reasons his accomplishment on painting is excellent, but on the other hand, it have undeniable relativity
with(relation to) the own character(不大明白 inherent character 嗎？)
of art.

However, when the word "value" comes to the understanding of "importance and usefulness", the scientific accomplishments can be a better reflector for a civilization's true value, for one distinct reason that it is mainly the advancement of scientific achievements that illustrate the advanced level a civilization has reached. Because civilization is defined as "a place where one feel comfortable, especially because it is modern" in the dictionary, using scientific achievements as the reflection of the true value of a civilization accords with the common value system of majority. And scientific advancements are the major means(means 單復數一樣 和mean無關) of indicating the enhancement of living quality, which can be considered as the true value of a civilization.

In all, art and science are indispensible in many areas.(一個句子里只有一個動詞)
When mixed together ,they will make the most important form of reflecting the true value of a civilization. Consider photography as the example. The development of art forms such as photograph was made possible because of scientific discovery at(in) 1830s. What's more, as the developing of science and the popularization of computers, correlative forms of art are deduces(deduced) from the original photography. Clearly, the new born form of photography accounts for each of the two sides but belongs to neither. It can reflect the true value of a civilization but you can hardly figure out which part weighs more than(outweighs)
the other.

What I believe is that, as more scientific accomplishments are discovered and more artistic creations are created, art and science will be conjunct tighter and tighter.
The two can create a new agent that neither of those two method cannot compare with, on revealing the true value of a civilization.

TEFouDAFUID: 2759255

不知道为什么变成黑白的了
非常抱歉

TEFouDAFUID: 2759255

又手工改变了颜色
逻辑部分我实在难以胜任

wcnkUID: 2546550

非常感谢TEFouDAF的意见，我已经认真将文章修改了一下，蓝色部分是我觉得改的非常好，并且需要今后注意的地方

By what means the true value of a civilization can be better reflected? Are the artistic creations or the scientific accomplishments that can be more repetitive? In my view, whether artistic creations weigh more importance against scientific accomplishments should rely on different facets of the word "value".

Admittedly, I agree with the speaker's claim that the true value of a civilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than scientific accomplishments, but only before the prediction that value is explained as "preciousness". After all, each great kind of art is a unique, unparalleled kind of creation which will not be replaced even with the evolution of human race and the development of the society. Besides, as relating to sensibility part, everyone may have different feeling to one particular piece of art. It is the ambiguous feeing that everyone has can reflect the complexity and abundance, which, obviously, part of the true value of one particular civilization. One example is the Renaissance man--Leonardo da Vinci. He is known for his marvelous painting "Mona Lisa". Actually, he is not only a brilliant painter but also a man of science who did serious investigations into the natural and physical sciences, mathematics and mechanics. Even he is a person who is accomplished in many different areas, most people get to know him simply from his creation of painting--which is surely one kind of art. For some reasons his accomplishment on painting is excellent, but on the other hand, it have undeniable relation to the inherent character of art.

However, when the word "value" comes to the understanding of "importance and usefulness", the scientific accomplishments can be a better reflector for a civilization's true value, for one distinct reason that it is mainly the advancement of scientific achievements that illustrate the advanced level a civilization has reached. Because civilization is defined as "a place where one feel comfortable, especially because it is modern" in dictionary, using scientific achievements as the reflection of the true value of a civilization accords with the common value system of majority. And scientific advancements are the major means of indicating the enhancement of living quality, which can be considered as the true value of a civilization.

In all, art and science are indispensible in many areas. When mixed together ,they will make the most important form of reflecting the true value of a civilization. Consider photography as the example. The development of art forms such as photograph was made possible because of scientific discovery in 1830s. What's more, as the developing of science and the popularization of computers, correlative forms of art are deduced from the original photography. Clearly, the new born form of photography accounts for each of the two sides whereas belongs to neither. It can reflect the true value of a civilization but you can hardly figure out which part outweighs the other.

To sum up, in my view, as more scientific accomplishments are discovered and more artistic creations are created, art and science will be conjunct tighter and tighter.
The two can create a new agent that neither of those two methods can compare with, on revealing the true value of a civilization.

桔子susanUID: 2754084

修改by桔子susan

What I believe is that, as more scientific accomplishments are discovered, more artistic creations are created, art and science will be conjunct tighter and tighter, The two can create a new agent that neither of those two method cannot compare with, on revealing the true value of a civilization.


By what means the true value of a civilization can be better reflected? Are the artistic creations or the scientific accomplishments that can be more
repetitive（这个单词是重复的意思,这里你要表达什么意思？）? In my view, whether artistic creations weigh more importance against scientific accomplishments should rely on different facets of the word "value".

Admittedly, I agree with the speaker's claim that the true value of a civilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than scientific accomplishments, but only before the
prediction（这是预言的意思，你想表达的是前提吧） that value is explained as "preciousness". After all, each great kind of art is a unique, unparalleled kind of creation which will not be replaced even with the evolution of human race and the development of the society. Besides, as relating to sensibility part, everyone may have different feeling to one particular piece of art. It is the ambiguous feeing that everyone has can reflect the complexity and abundance, which, obviously, part of the true value of one particular civilization. One example is the Renaissance man--Leonardo da Vinci. He is known for his marvelous painting "Mona Lisa". Actually, he is not only a brilliant painter but also a man of science who did serious investigations into the natural and physical sciences, mathematics and mechanics. Even he is a person who is accomplished in many different areas, most people get to know him simply from his creation of painting--which is surely one kind of art. For some reasons his accomplishment on painting is excellent, but on the other hand, it have undeniable relation to the inherent character of art.
（你的TS句表达的是在value被理解为珍品时，作者的观点才被认同。但你后面讲达芬奇时，却没有将他的作品与你前面的叙述联系起来，过多的介绍了他这个人，你可以多论述“蒙娜丽莎”是怎样表现the value of civilization的）

当value被理解为珍品时，文明真正的价值更多的反映在艺术家的创作上

However, when the word "value" comes to the understanding of "importance and usefulness", the scientific accomplishments can be a better reflector for a civilization's true value, for one distinct reason that it is mainly the advancement of scientific achievements that illustrate illustrate（这是阐明的意思，与level不搭，不太明白你想要表述什么）the advanced level a civilization has reached. Because civilization is defined as "a place where one feel comfortable, especially because it is modern" in dictionary, using scientific achievements as the reflection of the true value of a civilization accords with the common value system of majority.（文明在字典中的解释与主流价值观中科学成就体现文明价值有什么因果关系？倒是后面那一句才是解释词典解释的。这一句语法也很有问题，很奇怪）And scientific advancements are the major means of indicating the enhancement of living quality, which can be considered as the true value of a civilization.


当value被理解为有用时，文明真正的价值更多的反映在科学成就上

In all, art and science are indispensible in many areas. When mixed together ,they will make the most important form of reflecting the true value of a civilization.（这句有点怪，改为When mixed together ,they will make the most important form，in which the true value of a cicilization reflect可能更好.） Consider photography as the example. The development of art forms such as photograph was made possible because of scientific discovery in 1830s. What's more, as the developing of science and the popularization of computers, correlative forms of art are deduced from the original photography. Clearly, the new born form of photography accounts for each of the two sides whereas belongs to neither. It can reflect the true value of a civilization but you can hardly figure out which part outweighs the other.


艺术与科学在反映文明真正的价值时，是密不可分的

To sum up, in my view, as more scientific accomplishments are discovered and more artistic creations are created, art and science will be conjunct tighter and tighter.
The two can create a new agent that neither of those two methods can compare with, on revealing the true value of a civilization.

整体思路还是很清晰，但分论点的论述有些问题。还有，我觉着有些句子的表达很别扭，有点的chinish，其实我也有这毛病，看来要多学习一下ECO上地道的德表述。加油

wcnkUID: 2546550

主要改了下论证部分，桔子提出的意见一针见血，谢谢了，我要更加努力~~

By what means the true value of a civilization can be better reflected? Are the artistic creations or the scientific accomplishments that can be more representative? In my view, whether artistic creations weigh more importance against scientific accomplishments should rely on different facets of the word "value".

Admittedly, I agree with the speaker's claim that the true value of a civilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than scientific accomplishments, but only before the precondition that value is explained as "preciousness". After all, each great kind of art is a unique, unparalleled kind of creation which will not be replaced even with the evolution of human race and the development of the society. Besides, as relating to sensibility part, everyone may have different feeling to one particular piece of art, thus debates about specific art will be arose. It is the ambiguous feeing everyone has and abroad discussion can reflect the complexity and abundance, which, obviously, make one particular civilization more valuable. One example is the Renaissance man--Leonardo da Vinci. He is known for his marvelous painting "Mona Lisa". It is this “secrete smile” witnessed the enormous evolution of both art and science. Even Vinci is a person who is accomplished in many different areas such as science, neither of his accomplishments beyond art can be more reflected the true value of Renaissance, a typical civilization.

However, when the word "value" comes to the understanding of "importance and usefulness", the scientific accomplishments can be a better reflector for a civilization's true value, for one distinct reason that it is mainly the advancement of scientific achievements that can reflect the advanced level a civilization has reached. Because civilization is defined as "a place where one feel comfortable, especially because it is modern" in dictionary, meanwhile dictionary is the most important reference for majority of people, using scientific achievements as the reflection of the true value of a civilization accords with the common value system of majority. And scientific advancements are the major means of indicating the enhancement of living quality, which can be considered as the true value of a civilization.

In all, art and science are indispensible in many areas. When mixed together, they can make the most important form, in which the true value of a civilization can be reflected. Consider photography as the example. The development of art forms such as photograph was made possible because of scientific discovery in 1830s. What's more, as the developing of science and the popularization of computers, correlative forms of art are deduced from the original photography. Clearly, the new born form of photography accounts for each of the two sides whereas belongs to neither. It can reflect the true value of a civilization but you can hardly figure out which part outweighs the other.

To sum up, in my view, as more scientific accomplishments are discovered and more artistic creations are created, art and science will be conjunct tighter and tighter.
The two can create a new agent that neither of those two methods can compare with, on revealing the true value of a civilization.

cyctUID: 2728144

已改

wcnkUID: 2546550

仍旧对跑题与否的问题持怀疑态度，再次深度修改，换了例子，同时增加了一个分论点，希望大家多提意见，有拍必回~~

By what means the true value of a civilization can be better reflected? Are the artistic creations or the scientific accomplishments more representative? In my view, whether artistic creations weigh more importance against scientific accomplishments should rely on different facets of the word "value".

Admittedly, I agree with the speaker's claim that the true value of a civilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than scientific accomplishments, but only before the precondition that value is explained as "preciousness". After all, each great kind of art is a unique, unparalleled kind of creation which will not be replaced even as the evolution of human race and the development of the society progresses. Whereas  as science and technology develops, the old scientific accomplishments would be replaced soon after new invention of science. Besides, as relating to sensibility part, everyone may have different feeling to one particular piece of art, thus debates about specific art will be arose. It is the ambiguous feeing everyone has and abroad discussion can reflect the complexity and abundance, which, obviously, make one particular civilization more valuable. One example is the Renaissance man--Leonardo da Vinci. He is known for his marvelous painting "Mona Lisa". It is this “secrete smile” witnessed the enormous evolution of both art and science. Even Vinci is a person who is accomplished in many different areas such as science, neither of his accomplishments beyond art which reflected the true value of Renaissance, a typical civilization.

However, when the word "value" comes to the understanding of " usefulness  ", the scientific accomplishments can be a better reflector for a civilization's true value, for one distinct reason that it is mainly the advancement of scientific achievements that can reflect the advanced level a civilization has reached. There are tremendous   embodiments all around us which can reflect the usefulness of science achievement, automobiles make our transportation more convenient; while televisions and networks makes our life a colorful one. In the mean time, new inventions such as networks also take reaction to create a new culture--virtual community, also called online community is a representative derivation, which is exactly a reflection of the true value of nowadays civilization.

In addition, artist creations pale in prospectiveness foe reality when compared to scientific accomplishments. For the reason that scientific advancements are the major means of indicating the enhancement of living quality, which can be considered as the true value of a civilization. What’s more, science seeks to remark the present-day to a higher level while art mainly portrays our surroundings. Science focus more on our future while art pay more attention on now.

In general, art and science are indispensible in many areas. When mixed together, they can make the most important form, in which the true value of a civilization can be reflected. Consider photography as the example. The development of art forms such as photograph was made possible because of scientific discovery in 1830s. What's more, as the development of science and the popularization of computers, correlative forms of art are deduced from the original photography. Clearly, the new born form of photography accounts for each of the two sides whereas belongs to neither. It can reflect the true value of a civilization but you can hardly figure out which part outweighs the other.
（其实在增加了第三段后，字数达标，这段我认为也可以不要了）
To sum up, in my view, as more scientific accomplishments are discovered and more artistic creations are created, art and science will be combined tighter and tighter. The two can create a new agent that neither of those two methods can compare with, on revealing the true value of a civilization.

flearUID: 2533174

可以从value入手 只是把value作为preciousness讲太牵强 the value of a civilization和 a valuable civilization中的value是两个概念

wcnkUID: 2546550

恩~~谢谢傅里叶同学的指点，有点Brain Stome 的感觉~~
说说我的观点：我这样分有一定原因：
1. value 分为“preciousness ”和“usefulness ”是根据字典来的，这是value 的两个解释词条；
2. 题中的“the true value”我就直接理解成 valuableness of a civilization了。

不过你说的有道理，虽然我按照字典的分类写，但是给人感觉牵强就一定不太符合逻辑。