再次备战，俺老徐的作文本

闪闪硕硕UID：2825715

坚持写作文，为二战， 不死不休！！！

请各位战友不用留情， 怎么血腥怎么批~~~鞠躬感谢~~~！！！:loveliness:

闪闪硕硕UID：2825715

6.29 作业
“Successful people take new things and take risks rather than the thing that they've done well”

6.29  独立写作作业 闪闪硕硕
“Successful people take new things and take risks rather than the thing that they've done well。”&

Many people advocated that successful people are the ones who take new things and take risks rather than the things that they have done well. As far as I am concerned, I cannot agree more with them for the following reasons.



Firstly, nowadays no one can deny the basic fact that we are living in a highly challenging world, we are always ready to face challenges. An investigation shows that a quarter of the top 100 influential people commit themselves in the advanced project. Only less then 10% are working at the old areas which they have done for several years.



In addition, as the result of the development of science and technology, more possibilities are provided. And the investigation on these new staff will obviously have far-reaching influence on  the society. Just like the invention of bulb hundreds years ago, which has an inestimable impact no, So that we considered the inventor successful.



However, despite many obvious merits, taking new things and risks, does not equal to the success. As it known to all, the exploration in new areas needs both time and money,. Most of time, people can hardly draw a result even spend their whole life in it.



Therefore, from what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that the  merits of taking new things and risks are far outweigh its shortcomings. It may give a big push on both people and the society.

SilviaZhoUID：2236948

总体感觉：用词和句式运用感觉挺好，但观点没有阐述清楚，每段的论述都太过简单。第二至四段主体部分的主题句（通常都是段落第一句）感觉都没有能够提出真正的观点支持第一段里你已经提出的观点。

具体细节：
1. 在文章头段写几乎和题目一样的句子比较忌讳。（MS上学那会儿老师说得，可能记错啦，待考证:loveliness:
2. 第二段和第三段感觉观点不明确。第一段感觉你是反对题目观点，但第二段的例子感觉又在支持这个论点，直到第四段才出现对第一段的支持。如果是想用先肯定再反对的方法，一般在篇幅上都的比例至少是1：2，也就是肯定1段，否定2段;或者肯定2，否定3；
3. 第三段“the investigation on these new staff"之前好像没有介绍，有点不知所以然。
4. 结尾结论太过简单。至少主题部分每一段的内容都能有一个总结句在结论段中体现。

不妥之处欢迎批评^^.
BTW.我下载不了原来的文件，悲剧死了，所以只能写在这里了。

闪闪硕硕UID：2825715

3# SilviaZho

非常非常感谢，今天看了一遍戴戴教主的笔记，发现的确还有很多地方有问题，
而且你说的几个问题恰恰是我最致命的，一定得改！！

呵呵，加油！！:loveliness:

闪闪硕硕UID：2825715

7.1 今天的作文写了近一个小时，哎~~:L
Most people prefer others making decision for them than making a decision for themselves.-

NO one will deny the basic fact that people nowadays are in a complicated world ,which is full of temptation and risk. AS an result, some people prefer others making decisions for them instead of making decisions by themselves. There maybe one or two disadvantages to decide themselves,however ,I believe that there are far more advantages for people who wants to live independently or need to broad their horizon. Because it provides a practical opportunity by making decisions themselves.

First of all, making decisions themselves can develop the abilities on thinking independently and bravely. My elder sisiter , Bella, once told me her own experience in Beijing, where is thousands miles away from her hometown. At the beginning, facing an unfamiliar city she felt fear and nervous. She had to decide where to live and how to find a job without any help. But after this experience, when she got to United States this year, "there is no fear but the prediction for the future, because I know how to solve all the problems by myself in this new country." she said. Another advantage is that deciding yourself cultivates the courage. Because the moment you make up your mind , you must be brave enough to face the possible bad results.

In addition. Making decision themselves is a special motion to learning more. As it is known to all, even a tiny fault can lead to fail.The only way to prevent this consequence, is only by thinking from all aspect before making decisions and knowledge is the evaluation standerd. So that people have to study constantly in order to board their horizon. But the most importantly, there always a tough choice after another. People can hardly stop studying new things, in order to be correct all the time.

Even though there maybe so many merits to decide by people themselves, there still some special moments need to make decisions by others instead themselves. For example, the little children, who are not old and mature enough to make decisions themselves, their parents should choice for them, to make sure it is better for there growing. What's more, Under some circumstances, people may not have the ability to choose themselves., take a patient as an example, there must be a contract before any surgery, if the patient is unconscious, whether to do the surgery is decided only by his families.

All in all, although there maybe a little disadvantages, the advantages of making decisions by people themselves are more outweigh. Choosing by themselves makes people both independent and brave, which plays a critical role for people's whole life. So, we should promote people try to decide themselves for most of the time.

闪闪硕硕UID：2825715

7.3 号 "In order to solve the problems of the present and future, it is necessary to understand the past"
7.3
"In order to solve the problems of the present and future, it is necessary to understand the past"

Living in such highly developed society, people in growing numbers feel puzzled about the function of history. Dose it have the ability to lead us to the future directly or just provide us asolutions in solving problems? There maybe one or two drawbacks of history, but I believe that the understanding of history plays an even more critical role today than before, not only in the development of people but also the global world.

Every people must has such experience, when we come up with problems and feel so depressed, our friends or families always encourage us by telling an even harder experience of some historical characters. Then we will find the motion to carry on. From this point, history give us hope and power. what's more, the understand of past can stop us from making silly mistakes. If a certain policy was questioned my most of the people, the government or the leader may compare the matter with some similar events in the past.What the solution they use or what consequence would be,if the policy was forced to promote ? So that in order to reach a brighter future , avoid an irreversible bad result, people must consider the history as a great "future teller".

More importantly, the history can solve the threatening problems which frustrated us today. For example, the year 2002 was a hurting memory for the entire human being because of the SARS,especially in China. Hundreds of people died and thousands of people's life were threatened, however, what saves the lives of people in the country is the ancient traditional Chinese medicine which was nearly forgot by people nowadays. From that moment the ancient medical treatment caught the eyes globally. The knowledge of history also warns us of the future. The lack of farm land, the extinct of  certain animals , the wars in some part of the world , we can find all these experiences in the history. So that, for the coming up day, many scientists and politicians advocate the whole world to prevent the painful result in the past from happening nowadays. And people also learns a lot from them in treating the problems now.

There is not a perfect thing in the world without fault. Although history helps us a lot, it still has some disadvantages. For instance, the treatment for the slaves in the past was inhuman. They were considered as tools without respect,without freedom, what's worse, they even can not decides their own life. I always say to my friends that, if I were the slave, I would rather never come to the world.

However, the advantages of understanding the past far outweigh its disadvantages. What we should do is to face the history fairly, try to find out what is useful and avoid the bad. If people make a full use of the history , it must lead us to the far-reaching future in a efficient way.

giserUID：2844945

LZ,你的作文附件里只有个题目

闪闪硕硕UID：2825715

7# giser
不好意思，弄错了，麻烦重新下吧这回事对的

giserUID：2844945

就不贴了,在附件里

闪闪硕硕UID：2825715

9# giser

非常感谢:loveliness:

zak_chemistryUID：2612236

7.3
"In order to solve the problems of the present and future, it is necessary to understand the past"

Living in such highly developed society, people in growing numbers feel puzzled about the function of history. Dose it have the ability to lead us to the future directly or just provide us asolutions in solving problems? There maybe one or two drawbacks of history, but I believe that the understanding of history plays an even more critical role today than before, not only in the development of people but also the global world.

Every people must has such experience, when we come up with problems and feel so depressed, our friends or families always encourage us by telling an even harder experience of some historical characters. Then we will find the motion to carry on. From this point, history give us hope and power. （这几句讲的是过去的经历对人有激励作用。之后的内容讲的是过去对现在和将来有启示作用，两部分内容个人觉得分两段写较好。这样显得结构清晰。）what's more, the understand of past can stop us from making silly mistakes. If a certain policy was questioned my most of the people, the government or the leader may compare the matter with some similar events in the past. What the solution they use or what consequence would be,if the policy was forced to promote ? So that in order to reach a brighter future , avoid an irreversible bad result, people must consider the history as a great "future teller".（我觉得作者在此段后一部分举得例子不是很有说服力。并且个人觉得如果作者没有比较好的例子的话，可以捎带提一下“the understand of past can stop us from making silly mistakes”的原因，这样会显得有说服力.）

More importantly, the history can solve the threatening problems which frustrated us today. For example, the year 2002 was a hurting memory for the entire human being because of the SARS,especially in China.（是不是作者直接说Chinese people 比较好 ） Hundreds of people died and thousands of people's life were threatened, however,（此句中应该没有转折关系吧） what saves the lives of people in the country is the ancient traditional Chinese medicine which was nearly forgot by people nowadays. From that moment the ancient medical treatment caught the eyes globally. The knowledge of history also warns us of the future. The lack of farm land, the extinct of
certain animals , the wars in some part of the world , we can find all these experiences in the history. So that, for the coming up day, many scientists and politicians advocate the whole world to prevent the painful result in the past from happening nowadays. And people also learns a lot from them in treating the problems now.

There is not a perfect thing in the world without fault. Although history helps us a lot, it still has some disadvantages. For instance, the treatment for the slaves in the past was inhuman. They were considered as tools without respect,without freedom, what's worse, they even can not decides their own life. I always say to my friends that, if I were the slave, I would rather never come to the world. （此段不应该就此结束。本题讲“理解过去是否对解决现在和将来的问题有帮助”。所以，作者还应该联系现在，讲奴隶制对现在没有帮助。）

However, the advantages of understanding the past far outweigh its disadvantages. What we should do is to face the history fairly, try to find out what is useful and avoid the bad. If people make a full use of the history , it must lead us to the far-reaching future in a efficient way.
总结：
1．
个人觉得作者应该要更好的理解题目的意思。
2．
第二段，作者应该吧中心句放在段首，这样显得清晰明了。

zak_chemistryUID：2612236

修改不好之处，请谅解！

闪闪硕硕UID：2825715

12# zak_chemistry

谢谢指导:)

闪闪硕硕UID：2825715

7.10 作文 谢谢修改:loveliness:
7.10 many teacher assign homework to students everyday, do you agree or disagree that daily homework is necessary for students?

No one can deny the basic fact that , doing homework every does need a lot of time for students today. But is it unnecessary for teachers to assign homework ？ As far as I am concerned, there may be one or two disadvantages to assign homework for students, but the advantages far outweigh the advantages for the following reasons.

"practice makes perfect." is a permanent truth. A recent survey shows that more than eighty percents of children nowadays have the experience in developing some specific skills after school, such as piano, painting ,however, less than one percent can success the last,most of them give up because of less practice. Thus, if the teacher assign the homework everyday, there must be more children success. What's more, all the new knowledge base on the old. So during the process of doing homework, students could find what they still do not understand or just come up with some new ideas. Also to refresh the old knowledge makes it easily to learn new things.

In addition, doing homework everyday is good for their growth. some experts points out that children are born to play. But if do not control them they can not control themselves. Just take those young prisoners into consideration, people may easily predict the possible future of them, no one want their own children to have such experience. So that, the first step is to cultivate their babit in finishing homework on time, make them know the rule of school, society and the nation as a whole.

However, there still some disadvantages in doing home work everyday. For one thing, children have less time in playing which is the destiny. For other thing, some homework is meaningless, repeating the same thing everyday is not only a time-consuming, but also harm for their physical health, because they do not have enough time to practice.

After consider all the factors above, I still think teacher should assign homework for students everyday. If the teacher could assign some useful homework , that will give a big push to their development, and make sense to their whole life.

SilviaZhoUID：2236948

7.10 many teacher assign homework to students everyday, do you agree or disagree that daily homework is necessary for students?' a; N% j  h1 l3 i' ?/ {- C, |
) x- Z5 I7 J0 a6 Z3 c
No one can deny the basic fact that , doing homework every(day) does need a lot of time for students today. But is it unnecessary for teachers to assign homework ？ As far as I am concerned, there may be one or two disadvantages to assign homework for students, but the (dis)advantages far outweigh the advantages for the following reasons., {( L* d) J2 z8 f  u, z
% b2 o' |% v  j0 |( u
"practice makes perfect." is a permanent truth. A recent survey shows that more than eighty percents of children nowadays have the experience in some specific skills after school, such as piano, painting. However, less than one percent can success the(at) last,most of them give up because of less practice. Thus, if the teacher assign the homework everyday, there must be more children success. What's more, all the new knowledge base on the old. So during the process of doing homework, students could find what they still do not understand or just come up with some new ideas. Also to refresh the old knowledge makes it easily(easy) to learn new things.& M9 e7 N  j8 Z9 a! U

In addition, doing homework everyday is good for their growth. some experts points(point) out that children are born to play. But if do not control them they can not control themselves. Just take those young prisoners into consideration, people may easily predict the possible future of them, and no one want(s) their own children to have such experience. So that, the first step is to cultivate their babit(habit) in finishing homework on time, make(making) them know the rule of school, society and the nation as a whole.
0 _2 l! Z6 O: z4 E* j$ E; b0 d; q
However, there still some disadvantages in doing home work everyday. For one thing, children have less time in playing which is the destiny(not quite understandable). For other(another) thing, some homework is meaningless., Repeating the same thing everyday is not only a(去掉） time-consuming, but also harm for their physical health, because they do not have enough time to practice.如一定要这一段论述，必须放在第二段位置，否则文章主调有被改变嫌疑，容易造成观点不明确的映像."

After consider all the factors above, I still think teacher should assign homework for students everyday. If the teacher could assign some useful homework , that will give a big push to their development(a big push will be given to their development)., And it make sense to their whole life