Marshall~~Daily Writting~~!!!

gtgtoooUID: 2867369

鼓鼓气，加加油，我能行！

gtgtoooUID: 2867369

12月29日 100213NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who cannot accept criticism will not succeed in a team.

I strongly agree with the statement that to enjoy a successful future one must modestly accept outside criticism. Marvelous as it looks at first sight, too much believe in yourself may not get things done well; or it could work towards the opposite direction which led to the situation that your partner stop cooperation because of your stubborn mind.

First of all, outside criticism will good for our self-development. Although some times, criticism seems to be very hard to be accepted because these are contradicted with your beliefs, they are still beneficial to you. Have you ever though that since you always think that your idea is right, why there are still some critic sound around you? If you can calm down and consider the situation more objectively, you may find that it is you who make a mistake. If you realize this and take action to correct these drawbacks, then you will become more perfect. Also by sincerely adopt others’ criticism; the criticism may seem to gradually become a more gentle suggestion.

In addition, not accepting others’ criticism will always make jobs more difficult to be finished. No one is perfect, and we all probably make any kind of mistake. So it is very important to sincerely accept others’ criticism, especially in a team work. One thing we feel about when we are doing a project assigned by teacher is that if the group leader insist on his own idea that he think is perfect and refuse to learn other group members’ suggestions, he will do things in his own style while the others may feel reluctant to continue the their mission. Because they do not reach an agreement, when some mistakes happen, the group members may accuse the fault to each other, which will make the process pause. Then if the leader cannot solve the problem, he has to ask other members for help, and may totally revise the whole project, which leads to an inefficient work. In this case, insisting on one’s own idea without considering others’ advices plays a negative role in a team work project.

Furthermore, without honest altitude to others’ criticism, you may lose others’ trust. Although not every denouncement is right, you should at least let others know you have considered their opinion. Otherwise, they may think that you do not respect them at all. An illustrating example is that a company receive a complain letter from a customer about the service. This customer is very anger with the bad service altitude so the manager is supposed to immediately reply a letter to that customer and finds out the problem. Otherwise, the company will not only lose that customer, but also its image and trust in people’s heart.

To summarize, without a modest heart to accept others’ criticism, one will lose the basic ingredients to be successful. Admittedly, criticism is not always right and sometimes they may affect your judgment. However, as long as you can extract gist in the opposing words, they will be sure to promote to your all-round development and the work which you are undertaking.

木子初晴天UID: 3220237

12月29日 100213NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who cannot accept criticism will not succeed in a team.
5 \0 l5 i) A' o4 K0 U- O
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I strongly agree with the statement that to enjoy a successful future one must modestly accept outside criticism. Marvelous as it looks at first sight, too much believe in yourself may not get things done well; or it could work towards the opposite direction which led to the situation that your partner stop cooperation（may stop cooperating/stop to cooprate） because of your stubborn mind.

First of all, outside criticism will good for our self-development(of great important for..). Although some times, criticism seems to be very hard to be accepted because these(上文提到过的用those) are contradicted with(to) your beliefs, they(. But they前句已经是完整一句了) are still beneficial to you. Have you ever though that since看不懂·· you always think that your idea is right, why there are still some critics sound around you? If you can calm down and consider(handle) the situation more objectively, you may find that it is you who make a mistake. If you realize this and take action to correct these drawbacks, then you will become more perfect. Also by sincerely adoptting others’ criticism; the criticism may seem to gradually become a more gentle suggestion.

In addition, not accepting others’ criticism will always make jobs more difficult to be finished. No one is perfect, and we all probably make any kind of mistake. So it is very important to sincerely accept others’ criticism, especially in a team work. One thing we feel about when we are doing a project assigned by teacher is that if the group leader insist on his own idea that he think is perfect and refuse to learn other group members’ suggestions(这一句的主旨是we fell,可是写着写着你把fell丢了), he will do things in his own style while the others may feel reluctant to continue the their mission. Because they do not reach an agreement, when some mistakes happen(When there appears some mistkes ), the group members may accuse the fault to each other, which will make the process puse(which will puse the process). Then if the leader cannot solve the problem, he has to ask other members for help, and may totally revise the whole project, which leads to an inefficient work. In this case, insisting on one’s own idea without considering others’ advices plays a negative role in a team work project.

Furthermore, without honest altitude to others’ criticism, you may lose others’ trust. Although not every denouncement is right, you should at least let others know you have considered their opinion. Otherwise, they may think that you do not respect them at all. An illustrating example is that a company receive a complain letter from a customer about the service. This customer is very anger with the bad service altitude(attitude) so the manager is supposed to immediately reply a letter to that customer and finds out the problem. Otherwise, the company will not only lose that customer, but also its image and trust in people’s heart(but also dwarf their own image and trustness).

To summarize, without a modest heart to accept others’ criticism, one will lose the basic ingredients to be(for) successful. Admittedly, criticism is not always right and sometimes they may affect your judgment. However, as long as you can extract gist in the opposing words, they will be sure to promote to your all-round development and the work which you are undertaking.

你好我觉得有一个问题就是你喜欢把句子写的很长，但是长并不意味着熟练运用了语法和结构，OG评分规则有一条就是efficiency,而你的长句子完全是可以很简洁有效表达出来的，不然读起来很费力。比如那句红色的，特别长，但是结构有些混乱。One feeling often occurs on us that we usually fell reluctant to move on when the grounpleader neglect the opinions or advices  of ours and insists on his own style.

不知道你写作的时候有没有觉得很多句子不知道是对的还是错的，因为看得出来你没有抄模板，现写的，但是写起来是按照中国思维。建议多背诵一些句型。而且能自己写这么多句子肯定很认真，加油！！拙见，望海涵···

gtgtoooUID: 2867369

3# 木子初晴天
非常中肯的意见，谢谢晴天！
这是我的第一篇，自己也觉得写得很废，万事开头难，我会努力的！

一派UID: 3226724

I strongly agree with the statement that to enjoy a successful future one must modestly accept outside criticism. Marvelous as it looks at first sight, too much believe in yourself may not get things done well; or it could work towards the opposite direction which led to the situation that your partner stop cooperation because of your stubborn mind.

First of all, outside criticism will good for our self-development. Although some times, criticism seems to be very hard to be accepted because these are contradicted with your beliefs, they are still beneficial to you. Have you ever though that since you always think that your idea is right, why there are still some critic（我查到的这个词的意思只有批评家，评论家） sound around you? If you can calm down and consider the situation more objectively, you may find that it is you who make a mistake. If you realize this and take action to correct these drawbacks, then you will become more perfect. Also by sincerely adopt others’ criticism; the criticism may seem to gradually become a more gentle suggestion.

In addition, not accepting others’ criticism will always make jobs more difficult to be finished. No one is perfect, and we all probably make any kind of mistake. So it is very important to sincerely accept others’ criticism, especially in a team work. One thing we feel about when we are doing a project assigned by teacher is that if the group leader insist on his own idea that he think is perfect and refuse to learn other group members’ suggestions, he will do things in his own style while the others may feel reluctant to continue the their mission. Because they do not reach an agreement, when some mistakes happen, the group members may accuse the fault to each other, which will make the process pause. Then if the leader cannot solve the problem, he has to ask other members for help, and may totally revise the whole project, which leads to an inefficient work. In this case, insisting on one’s own idea without considering others’ advices plays a negative role in a team work project.

Furthermore, without honest altitude to others’ criticism, you may lose others’ trust. Although not every denouncement is right, you should at least let others know you have considered their opinion. Otherwise, they may think that you do not respect them at all. An illustrating example is that a company receive（receives） a complain letter from a customer about the service. This customer is very anger with the bad service altitude (我觉得这边就过于罗嗦了，直接把前面的说成a complain letter from an anger customer with the bad service attitude，这样就合并好了啊)so the manager is supposed to immediately reply a letter to that customer and finds out the problem. Otherwise, the company will not only lose that customer, but also its image and trust in people’s heart. 我是觉得这个例子应该得用过去时态吧？

To summarize, without a modest heart to accept others’ criticism, one will lose the basic ingredients to be successful. Admittedly, criticism is not always right and sometimes they may affect your judgment. However, as long as you can extract gist in the opposing words, they will be sure to promote to your all-round development and the work which you are undertaking. 结尾很赞

我觉得你的语言很棒 LZ功底应该很好吧

蓝颜色的是我觉得模板太明显的地方

整体的辩证思路很紧扣主题 向你学习了^ ^

另外个人不建议用第二人称 句子真的有点罗嗦 过长 长短能结合的话最好了

哪里有该错的话请见谅~

gtgtoooUID: 2867369

5# 一派
我也觉得用you有点怪怪的，但是用 one 或者 he 的话总觉得读起来不舒服。。。多看范文也许能解决这个问题。。。

木子初晴天UID: 3220237

4# gtgtooo

亲 我的作文修改在哪里呀···如果你还没有回 可以黏贴在这个帖子里···https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1324599-1-1.html

gtgtoooUID: 2867369

7# 木子初晴天
不好意思，现在我已经改好了，发给你了

gtgtoooUID: 2867369

1月2日 101218NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Two persons cannot be friends if one is richer than the other.


In our daily work, we spend a large amount of time to get along with friends. Just like water when sailing on the sea, friendship is powerful that it can drive you to a brighter future. However, as the number of friends increasing, we always face with a dilemma that whether we should continue the relationship with the previous poor friends. In my opinion, two persons are hard to maintain their friendship unless they have relatively equaled wealthy.

First of all, rich person don’t have so many energy to deal with the friendship with the poor people. Success depends on various human resources, so a rich person must have many friends. There is no doubt that the rich need to spend pretty much time and energy to deal with the friends in business contact or other social activities. So it is unlikely for the rich to devote their remaining time to get along with the poor. For example, a CEO spends most of his time managing his company or contacting with investigators around the world. It is seldom seen that a CEO will take out a few hours to feast his poor friends and talk about their happiness memory.

Also, the huge difference in social stage determines an absolutely different ideology. We are the output of society, and different social level means different worlds between the rich and poor. Rich men usually enjoy a higher level of education, while the poor men merely struggle for the foods. In addition, rich person absorbs so called “social-ideology” from the friends and words around them. As the time goes by, these men will gradually believe that they are superior to those in the button level of the society and there is no need to get along with them. So finally, the rich people live in a world that is separate with that of the poor ones.

Furthermore, it is hard for the rich to communicate with a poor man. We all know that a friendship is based on mutual understandings and recognitions. However, since the ideology between rich and poor people is totally different, they cannot understand each other and build up such a friendship. For instance, a poor person may think that eating his fill is the most blessedness in the world, while a rich man may believe that health is most valuable. When two persons talk together, they cannot reach a resonance. Therefore, it is nearly impossible for the two groups of people to establish a true friendship.

To summarize, two persons cannot be friends if one is richer than the other. Although they all serve some certain functionalities in the society, the different social stages and its corresponding result determine no true friendships between them.



祝大家新年快乐！

猛龙过江UID: 3220220

In our daily work, we spend a large amount of time to get along with friends. Just like water when sailing on(个人倾向于换成to,或just like caique sailing on the sea, 呵呵，这是我的理解，不一定符合楼主思路) the sea, friendship is powerful that it can drive you to a brighter future. However, as the number of friends increasing, we always face with a dilemma that whether we should continue（或许carry on也可以）
the relationship with the previous（我倾向于用old） poor friends（是否加上or not?与whether搭配）. In my opinion, two persons are hard to maintain their friendship unless they have relatively equaled wealthy.
First of all, rich person don’t（dose not） have so many(much) energy to deal with the friendship with the poor people. Success depends on various (and plentiful) human resources (social network), so a rich person must have many friends. (Therefore,我觉得下一句和上面的可能存在因果关系，所以加了个therefore，可以吗？) There is no doubt that the rich need to spend pretty much time and energy to deal with the friends in business contact（要加contact吗？我觉得in business似乎就行了）
or other social activities（提供另外一个表达：social occasions）. So it is unlikely for the rich to devote their remaining time to get along (提供另外一个表达：hang out，有似乎有点口语化了，请您自选)with the poor. For example, a CEO spends most of his time managing his company or contacting with investigators（调查者？用investors可否？） around the world. (whereas，上下句有转折，我加了这个，不知合宜否？) It is seldom seen that a CEO will take out a few hours to feast his poor friends and talk about their happiness memory.
Also, the huge difference in social stage（status表示地位） determines an absolutely different ideology（我觉得这句很好哈）. We are the output of society（social creatures）, and different social level(social hierarchy，社会阶层) means different worlds between the rich and poor. Rich men usually enjoy a higher level of education, while the poor men merely struggle for the foods（另一个表达：struggle to survive）. In addition, rich person absorbs so called “social-ideology” from the friends and words around them. As the time goes by, these men will gradually believe that they are superior to those in the button (bottom) level of the society and there is no need to get along with (mix in，以丰富“相处”的表达，但我也没用过mix in哈，请你再想想还有没其他表达) them. So finally, the rich people live in a world that is separate with that of the poor ones.
Furthermore, it is hard for the rich to communicate with a poor man. We all know that a friendship is （是否应去掉is？） based on mutual understandings(understanding当理解时，可数啊？应该不可数吧？) and recognitions（当“认同”时，identification似乎更合宜，我google了一哈）. However, since the ideology between rich and poor people is totally different, they cannot understand each other and build up such a friendship. For instance, a poor person may think that eating his fill（不太理解，请楼主明示） is the most blessedness in the world, while a rich man may believe that health is most valuable. When the(加用the，我觉得指代了前面的话) two persons talk together（我倾向于用chat with each other）, they cannot reach a resonance（加用个sympathetic resonance或许更好，我喜欢楼主的这个表达哈）. Therefore, it is nearly impossible for the two groups of people to establish a true friendship.
To summarize, two persons cannot be friends if one is richer than the other. Although they all serve some certain functionalities in the society,（不理解写这句有啥用，请楼主明示） the different social stages（status）
and its corresponding result（results） determine no true friendships between them. 9# gtgtooo

请楼主参考修改意见，修改错了的或者楼主有进一步其他表达的，相互反馈哦，呵呵，一起加油

gtgtoooUID: 2867369

10# 猛龙过江
改的好！
第一个“明示”意思是填饱肚子
第二个“明示”意思是穷人和富人都充当了一定的社会角色（具有社会功能。。。）

gtgtoooUID: 2867369

1月6日100828NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main purpose for people who have jobs is for money rather than
social status.

No matter whether or not you are hunting for jobs or already work in companies, you may have ever asked yourself: why I want to work. The detailed answer for this question depends from person to person. However, in my opinion, the ultimate motivation for most people to get a job is money. As illustrated in the following passage.



First of all, society is crucial, especially for those poor people. Without money, people cannot stand up in the society, but live in a tough condition. That's why when people hunts for a job, money is an extremely important factor that decides whether they will accept the offer or not. Even for people who already have a job, they have to work hard and compete with others in order to get more bonus. When the income of a particular position reduce, the employees there usually will choose another job. For example, few years ago, one university in Hong Kong was bankrupted and it had to decrease the average salary. Since that time, there have been a lot of excellent teachers who changed their profession in other universities or companies.



In addition, in the pressure of the society, people nowadays become more and more utilitarian. One very common example is that when people compare their jobs, the very first thing they will concern is the amount of income, instead of the working conditions or social status. This kind of comparison or competition will in turn stimulate people's eagernes to get more money, and finally lead to money worship. So that is why money plays a more important role than social status in jobs.



Admittedly, many people also long for a high social status. A high social status will certainly make people respectable, and their words convincing. This factor may attract people to some particular jobs such as doctor, professor and researcher. However, a high social status is build on the economy bases, and most of the job with a high social status usually has a promising incomes.



To summarize, most people who have a job is mainly motivated by money, instead of social status. Although a high social status can increase one's virtual influence, people usually put the money into the first position whenever considering their workings. This situation is mainly due to two reasons: social pressure and money worship, as discussed in the previous passage.

danteksjUID: 2977437

1月6日100828NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main purpose for people who have jobs is for money rather than9 N4 L1 ~6 y! J8 t2 T( o" t
social status.4 ^. U* {& ^5 L

No matter whether or not you are hunting for jobs or already working in companies, you may have ever asked yourself: why do I want to work?. The detailed answer for this question depends from person to person. However, in my opinion, the ultimate motivation for most people to get a job is money.这不应该断句吧？～连着写就好 As illustrated in the following passage.* A1 v7 f6 N5 C" {/ D& F

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First of all, the society is crucial, especially for those poor people（其实poor这个词贬义有点重。。living in poverty）. Without money, people cannot stand up in the society, but live in a tough condition. That's why when people hunt（s去掉 主谓一致要注意） for a job, money is an extremely important factor that decides whether they will accept the offer or not. Even for people who already have a job, they have to work hard and compete with others in order to get more bonus. When the income of a particular position reduces, the employees there usually will choose another job. For example, few years ago, one university in Hong Kong was bankrupted and it had to decrease the average salary. Since that time, （there have been ）（这句可以不用there be 句型 会更有力）a lot of excellent teachers （who）have changed their profession （in） to other universities or companies.' g9 J* |- c& ?% E2 |（）
7 V: t' |1 K4 X" N0 K3 T) v8 C
- B* L' M( g$ c+ r1 e# `

In addition, （in）due to the pressure of the society, people nowadays become more and more utilitarian. One very common example is that when people compare their jobs, the very first thing they will concern is the amount of income, instead of the working conditions or social status. This kind of comparison or competition will in turn stimulate people's eagerness to get more money, and finally lead to money worship. So that is why money plays a more important role than social status in jobs.( 这段可以把压力有哪些点出来 就更具体了)
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Admittedly, many people also long for a high social status. A high social status will certainly make people respectable, and their words convincing. This factor may attract people to some particular jobs such as doctor, professor and researcher. However, a high social status is （build）built on the economy bases, and most of the job with a high social status usually has a promising incomes. ) P+ H& o* ^7 f2 G; E+ y



To summarize, most people who have a job is mainly motivated by money, instead of social status. Although a high social status can increase one's virtual influence, people usually put the money into the first position whenever considering their （workings）works. This situation is mainly due to two reasons: social pressure and money worship, as discussed in the previous passage.

LZ论证的很严密 就是展开的有点不够的感觉 不过限时也很难兼顾了
语言很流畅 用词丰富 long utilitarian之类都很准很赞， 就是要注意下主谓一致和介词的使用有时会有小错误
祝考出好成绩

kikyou_lrUID: 3228606

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No matter whether or not you are hunting for jobs or already work in companies, 又是No matter又是 whether or not 太长，用if是不是更简洁些you may have ever asked yourself: why I want to work. The detailed answer for this question depends from person to person. Depends换成differ更妥？ However, in my opinion, the ultimate motivation for most people to get a job is money. Earning money更好些吧，这里is前后对等.As illustrated in the following passage.



k, K
First of all, society is crucial, especially for those poor people. Without money, people can not stand up in the society, stand up 换成survive好像更好but live in a tough condition. That's why when people hunts people做主语谓语动词用复数 for a job, money is an extremely important factor that decides whether they will accept the offer or not. decides whether去掉更好 Even for people who already have a job, they have to work hard and compete with others in order to get more bonus. When the income of a particular position reduce, the employees there usually will choose another job. For example, few years ago, one university in Hong Kong was bankrupted and it had to decrease the average salary. Since at that time, there have been there were a lot of excellent teachers who changed their profession in in 改为to other universities or companies.: d" j/ @/ ~9 M1 }5 i4 x% ^7 V: z
9 |3 Q+ W3 m& a2 L# l9 U



o5 Y# ~) @0 O( N
In addition, in under the pressure of the society, people nowadays become more and more utilitarian. One very common example is that when people compare their jobs, the very first thing they will concern will concern改concerns
is the amount of income, instead of the working conditions or social status. This kind of comparison or competition will in turn stimulate people's eagerness to get more money, and finally lead to money worship. So that is why money plays a more important role than social status in jobs. So that is why
so在这换个说法或者不要可能更好些免得歧义


Admittedly, many people also long for a high social status. long for抱歉，不太明白 A high social status will certainly make people respectable, and their words convincing. This factor may attract people to some particular jobs such as doctor, professor and researcher. However, a high social status is build on the economy bases, and most of the job with a high social status usually has a promising incomes. income
P/ g

To summarize, most people who have a job is mainly motivated by money, instead of social status. Although a high social status can increase one's virtual influence, people usually put the money into the first position whenever considering their workings. work This situation is mainly due to two reasons: social pressure and money worship, as discussed in the previous passage.
楼主的utilitarian用得很好，收了，O(∩_∩)O谢谢