issue185

cuilei_1985UID: 2121020

Issue185  第9篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：43分25秒     741 words
从2005年7月23日9时30分到2005年7月23日10时43分
------题目------
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
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Scandal, a very sensitive and disputable vocabulary, with his specific characters can give people much meditation. Scandal has played a role of revealing the secret affairs some people or groups have done underhandedly. Maybe it is useful in some areas, in some time, however，it also brought a lot of side effects to the individual who involves in the scandal or the masses people even the society. So I asserted that scandal is a double-sword just as every coin has two sides.

On the one hand, scandal has its active function as a supervised tool of the social affairs in the field of politics. Scandal has constrained the behavior of the government. If there is no scandal reported, the politicians may have made more mistakes. Because politician has more power and money, they are more likely to operate some illegal actions such as abusing the power, spending the money of the country as their own, make convenience for his family or relatives by virtue of his power. However, because the masses have an arm of supervising system, his action may easily be discovered by the media which is the origination of scandals. Thus, politicians can not be so bold to betray his people and his country because he is clear what is the consequence if he is discovered he has done something illegal or unethical. A typical instance is the Watergate. As long as Nixon has been reported a scandal, his fame, his contribution and his love to his people and country suddenly fall down in peoples' minds. As we can see, scandals can limit some negative events happen.

Meantime, scandal has contributed a lot to the field of market economy. In a more improved system, many companies dare not to make profits in the price of threaten the benefits of the masses. If they dare to make their productions unqualified with the healthy standard, they are likely to be disclosed by the media and the crowd. If they are inclined to make some illegal competitions, the power of scandals can make them lose belief and opportunities to renew their enterprises. So today we can eat healthy food, wear the comfortable clothes and ride a bike or car with the security assurance which may all benefit from the function of scandals indirectly as an arm of supervise.

On the other hand, scandals have also brought many side effects. Above all, it pays too much attention to the privacy of famous people especially their emotion, their friends and families. There is no need to oversee this kind of things. Not only it deprives the privacy of the involved people but also you got nothing but waste time. Just as the sexy scandal of Clinton, what has it brought to American people? As to common people, it only brings some meaningless chat and distorted content. As to the States, it only brings a gust of chaos and provides a chance for some intrigues. Actually, they can not bring any benefits. Actually, people are the victims of such kinds of scandals which have wasted our time and our energy to read, meditate, taste such insensible stories made by some profitable medias. But we are willing to be the victims of scandals, contented, happily. These may cause a more huge chaos in the future if people has not realised they have been cheated and fooled by such scandals. In sum, people should not overemphasis some scandals as to the privacy of the famous people. Otherwise, the victims are not only the persons involved in the scandals, but the masses and the whole society.

In sum, the scandals are really a double-sworded. So whether we make use of them become a challenge. So medias and other institutions which make up and reveal the scandals must master a reasonable method to differentiate what will be publisized and what should not be known to every one.

fishwater00UID: 182063

先帮你顶

咯噔UID: 2114564

Issue185  第9篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：43分25秒     741 words
从2005年7月23日9时30分到2005年7月23日10时43分
------题目------
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
------正文------
Scandal, a very sensitive and disputable vocabulary, with his specific characters can give people much meditation. Scandal has played a role of revealing the secret affairs some people or groups have done underhandedly. Maybe it is useful ?有用的?in some areas, in some time, however，it also brought 为什么用过去时a lot of side effects to the individual who involves in the scandal or the masses people even 这个词用在这好象不对the society. So I asserted that scandal is a double-sword just as every coin has two sides.

On the one hand, scandal has its active function as a supervised tool of the social affairs in the field of politics. Scandal has constrained 我觉得不是SCANDAL CONSTRAIN,是它的暴光the behavior of the government. If there is no scandal reported, the politicians may have made more mistakes. Because politician has more power and money, they are more likely to operate COMMITsome illegal actions such as abusing the power, spending the money of the country as their own, make convenience for his family or relatives by virtue of his power. However, because the masses have an arm of supervising system, his action may easily be discovered by the media which is the origination of scandals??媒体是起源?. Thus, politicians can not be so bold to betray his people and his country because he is clear what is the consequence if he is discovered he has done something illegal or unethical. A typical instance is the Watergate. As long as Nixon has been reported a scandal, his fame, his contribution and his love to his people and country suddenly fall down in peoples' minds. 我觉得你前面已经说得那么清楚了不用举了;PAs we can see, scandals can limit some negative events happen.我觉得好些表达不是很好哈.象HE IS CLEAR我觉得他很清楚不是这样说的

Meantime, scandal has contributed a lot to the field of market economy这是THESIS S,应该再说明白点.. In a more improved system, many companies dare not to这个错了.作为助动词才可加NOT,这样就不用TO make profits in the price of threaten the benefits of the masses. If they dare to make their productions unqualified with the healthy standard, they are likely to be disclosed by the media and the crowd. If they are inclined to make some illegal competitions, the power of scandals can make them lose belief and opportunities to renew their enterprises. So today we can eat healthy food, 这句有语病BELIEFE 不能接TO RENEW...吧.那是什么BELIEFE?而且把TO 接在后面我不知道可不可以只管一个哈wear the comfortable clothes and ride a bike or car with the security assurance which may all benefit from the function of scandals 绝对indirectly as an arm of supervise.

On the other hand, scandals have also brought many side effects. Above all, it pays too much attention to the privacy of famous people especially their emotion, their friends and families. There is no need to oversee? this kind of things. Not only it deprives the privacy of the involved people but also you got nothing but waste time. Just as the sexy scandal of Clinton, what has it brought to American people? As to common people, it only brings some meaningless chat and distorted content. As to the States, it only brings a gust of chaos and provides a chance for some intrigues. Actually, they can not bring any benefits. 我觉得你这样去评判会不会不好?毕竟这件事不象WATERGATE,现在还没有定论Actually, people are the victims of such kinds of scandals which have wasted our time and our energy to read, meditate, taste such insensible stories made by some profitable medias. But we are willing to be the victims of scandals, contented, happily.??这句有什么意义? These may cause a more huge chaos in the future if people has not realised they have been cheated and fooled by such scandals. In sum, people should not overemphasis some scandals as to the privacy of the famous people. Otherwise, the victims are not only the persons involved in the scandals, but the masses and the whole society.

In sum, the scandals are really a double-sworded. So whether we make use of them become a challenge. So medias and other institutions which make up and reveal the scandals must master a reasonable method to differentiate what will be publisized and what should not be known to every one.

我觉得可能这篇是你刚开始的时候写的吧.我上次看的那篇觉得很好.语言上存在很多问题.:p当然我也不确定他们是有问题的但读起来不明了.另外觉得好些论点太绝对了.我觉得字数太多了,造成很多重复论述或不清楚的论述.我觉得应该再改下下;)

cuilei_1985UID: 2121020

谢谢你的详细点评, 我再考虑一下,我自己还没觉得这篇会有这么多问题,但的确是酝酿了好几天才下决心写的,再次感谢你啊:)