特训小组独立作文 by Fatrui

fatruiUID：2726256

    小弟不才 就是作文真不会 哎 请大家批吧 我的质量 我也知道去到哪个份上 谢谢大家肯静下心看 O(∩_∩)O哈哈~

Topic: People today spend too much time on their enjoyment --what they like to do --rather than what they should do?


    Nowadays, we can see a huge amount of entertainment facilities in our world like a cinema, theater and sport square for example. We can find many people are likely to go to these places to attain their enjoyment. some people argue that people are more likely to do some activities which the people can get happiness rather than to do some work, they should do . Meanwhile other people demonstrate that people do not always go to the places with entertainment facilities and the people do their work very hardly and without any time to have a break. In my opinion ,I definitely think that because the heavy social pressure on human, the people want to attain enjoyment, but it is not stood for the people do not likely to do what they should do . There are a couple of reasons I want to list in the following issue.

    At the beginning with the passage, in my opinion, people have little time to go to do enjoy activities, since people have a large amount of works to do. take myself as an example, I am a college student and my major is statistic which means I have to remember many math model and math formula bet nobody will deny that the main responsibilities of a student in college are to develop my academic abilities. We are very tired since a whole day work with the lab research and papers. we seldom have to do the thing we want . Because if we do the thing we want ,we will have relatively less time to study our academic course, which will determine which job you can get or which level of salary we can be paid after we were graduate from our college have my own studying pressure, which induces, I have no time to do the thing I like.

    Furthermore, people who go to do the thing they want is sometime just want to reduce their living pressure and social pressure. We can find that adult who work after a whole day tired work will go to KTV to sing a song or go to club to have some drinks with their friends, since the adult want to decrease their work pressure, but it definitely does not mean they do not do their job they should do. When they relax themselves, the second day morning, they have to still get up earlier to jump into the crowed people who also go to their own company and also waiting for a crowed bus. they go to work for their lives which is they should do. it is very appearance to say that recently people take much of time on their enjoyment, because people just spend little on their activities which can release their pressure, and they have to use a lot of time on their work and study which is they should in daily lives

    To sum up, from what we have discussed above, it can be concluded that people do not spend more time on the thing they want but take more time on doing the thing they should do. People seldom have time to do their enjoy activies.And people who do the thing which can receive happiness after do not resend they do not do the things they should do.

fatruiUID：2726256

Do you agree or disagree：Technology helps to make people's lives simpler or make people's lives more complicated.

    An Increasing number of experts believe that by using the high technology skills exert positive effects on our lives and make our lives more convenience . Like, nowadays the people who have business travel can just take a few times to ShangHai from GuangZhou and people can easily get information by using mobile phone for example .However other people argue that the high technology makes a negative effort to our lives and makes ourselves confused .In my opinion, the technology makes our lives simple rather than complicated have several reasons want to list.

    Using high technology like mobile and E-mail, for example ,we can contract our intimate persons very easily large number of people say that the most important invention of last 100 years is mobile phone.by using mobile ,the distance between one another is significantly shorten. take myself as an example, now I can sent a message and make a phone call to my best friend in ShangHai Where is 1400 miles away from here in GuangZhou no matter when and no matter where. But before the mobile phone invented, I have to wait several weeks at least to get information from my friend.

    With high technology like the computer, we can look for some information easily and make a positive effort to increasing the efficiency of our work. Take myself as an example i is a student in college, I have a huge number of papers to do with. Therefore I have to research useful information .using goggle search engine ,I can get hundreds pages useful information within several minutes. If I go to the library ，however， to find some academic books, to find the same amount of information I found on the internet will spend several months at least .Hence, technology makes our lives better and simpler.

    However, the high technology does not mean it will always do positive effect to our lives and make them simple but make them completed .Using mobile phone actually will make the distance between one another is essential shortens .but it also makes us too easy to contract, hence make people cannot express themselves well. But use a letter can let us write what we want to say like to a lover for example .

    To sum up, from what we have discussed above, it can be concluded that high technology makes our lives easier and more convince, rather than make our life complicated .in my opinion, in the future, with the higher technology, we can lead our lives quality to a perfect level.

milixiaoUID：2643068

An Increasing number of experts believe that (by using the) high technology skills exert positive effects on our lives and make our lives more convenience(convenient) . Like, nowadays the people who have business travel can just take(spend) a few times to ShangHai from GuangZhou and people can easily get information by using mobile phone for example .However other people argue that the high technology makes a negative effort to our lives and makes ourselves confused .In my opinion, the technology makes our lives simple rather than complicated (I)have several reasons (want )to list.# f, E& {. C) ?) M( Y: |

    Using high technology like mobile(mobilephone) and E-mail, for example ,we can contract our intimate persons very easily (. 注意断句)large number of people say that the most important invention of last 100 years is mobile phone.by using mobile ,the distance between one another is significantly shorten. take myself as an example, now I can sent a message and make a phone call to my best friend in ShangHai Where is 1400 miles away from here in GuangZhou no matter when (and no matter where). But before the mobile phone invented, I have to wait several weeks at least to get information from my friend.
) ?( U, I9 e5 w" n5 L( E
    With high technology like the computer, we can look for some information easily and make a positive effort to increasing(increase) the efficiency of our work. Take myself as an example i is(am) a student in college, I have a huge number of papers to do(deal) with. Therefore I have to research useful information ,using goggle search engine ,I can get hundreds (of)pages useful information within several minutes. If I go to the library ，however， to find some academic books, to find the same amount of information I found on the internet will spend several months at least .Hence, technology makes our lives better and simpler.6 L& L6 b! a- |1 X% [
" G8 a; I6 O& D8 F+ a) F, P
    However, the high technology does not mean it will always do positive effect to our lives and make them simple but make them completed .Using mobile phone actually will make the distance between one another is essential shortens(???) .but it also makes us too easy to contract, hence make people cannot express themselves well. But use a letter can let us write what we want to say like to a lover for example .

    To sum up, from what we have discussed above, it can be concluded that high technology makes our lives easier and more convince(conveninet), rather than make our life complicated .in my opinion, in the future, with the higher technology, we can lead our lives quality to a perfect level.
楼主注意断句，有些长 句读起来很晦涩。

fatruiUID：2726256

1.21 By Fatrui               
你是否同意，体育锻炼对older people更重要，对比younger people来说.
觉得自己用词生硬 用词不生动，而且 而且逻辑混乱

    Increasing number of young people go to do some physical exercises outside, in order to get a health body. We can see a huge number of high school students playing basketball or football after they are whole day work. In my opinion, doing exercises play a main role in our daily life and very important to young people. There are several reasons I want to list.
    The first reason is that young people need physical exercise, since young people have more social pressure than older people who have already retired have. Young people like student for example, have to face many difficulties, like university admission test. They have go to school every day and after school they have to do tremendous homework, therefore seldom have time to do exercises to relax themselves. And student without enough physical exercise will easily get ill and feel depressed, since nothing they can give vent to. Many experts point out that physical exercise contributes directly to a person's physical fitness. And many high schools have decided to add physical education to their daily education in order to encourage student join the exercise. Unlike young people who can not do exercise frequently, old people have many time to do exercise whenever they want.
    More importantly, young people have to make many friends by doing exercise and expand their knowledge which can help to build their value of society by doing exercise, like basketball and football for example. In these game what we can learn is team work which is very important in our future lives. When we play basketball, I will try to attract as many people as I can to hinder my attacks, when they around me, I will immediately pass my ball to another people who will have many opportunities to shoot the ball. This is teamwork, what have Learn from playing basketball. However, old people have already this kind of value, and this kind of physical exercise play less significant to them.
     Nevertheless, old people should have enough physical exercise to lengthen their lifespan. If old people do not do exercise but just stay at home, they will easily get ill. But it cannot say physical exercise is more important to old people than young people. Because compare old people who have already build their value of the world, young people are not already grow up, they need to do enough exercise to build up their strong body and spirit.
    In a nutshell, considering all the reasons I talk about, doing physical exercise is more important to young people than old people. However, we can not fail to consider old people also need enough exercise to build up a health body.

fatruiUID：2726256

1.22 By fatrui
不同兴趣,人格的人能不能做朋友?

    Along with the fast economic development, people will go to work or go for a further study in many different places, then people will make many kinds of friend .So question is coming, which kind of friends they will chose? Making friends with same interest or different? In my opinion, I will choose friends who have distinguishing interest with me. There are several reasons I want to list.
    The first reason is that making friends who have not similar interest with you can expand our knowledge. （contacting with different friends gives one a broader out look to life）Friends who will bring you some new things and then show you the world is huge and colorful. Imagine this, I have two friends one from China and another is American, then I can easily know about the two country’s culture, history and tasty food. From my friend come from China, I can know about this outstanding country's great history, I can know why the ancient of china built the Great Wall and Forbidden City. From my American friend I also can improve my English skill. With this skill I can go to American do a further study. However, I make friend in my own country will never know culture of other countries.
    Furthermore, having friends with different interest can let me gain the opportunity to obtain some experience I can not have from my friends have same interest like me.(different friends can enrich our experiences by their conducts and thoughts that are different from ours) Just as my friends like play basketball, but I likely to play badminton. Someday, I find playing basketball can easier attract charming girl more than badminton. Therefore I turn to play basketball. And then it is very convince to me to ask my friends how to play basketball well .Fortunately they will patiently give me his or her experience, and will ask me to play with them in order to practice my basketball skill. But if you just have friend who only play badminton well, how you can learn to play basketball?
    Nevertheless, it is also good to ourselves to make friends with same interest. Because they know us even more than ourselves some times, and we give us suggestions which are from our perspective to us when we depressed. However, make this kind of friend will limit your knowledge and will let you difficult to adapt modern society in where you have to make many various friends in future.
    in a nutshell, considering the reasons I talked above, even though make friends with similar interest can let us feel comfortable, make friends with different interest will give you more chances to obtain another kinds of knowledge you never know. Therefore, I surely like to make friends with different interest.

mpromanusUID：2565872

这位同学我需要完整的原题。。否则我看不出你的论证是否满足题目的要求 =.=

Along with the fast economic development (of what?), people will go to work or go for a further study in many different places, then people will make many kinds of friends. (Why must you specify 'work or ... further study in ... different places'? Are you implying that people will not make many kinds of friends if they don't work or go for further study in many different places? Why are you making this kind of assumption?) So question is coming (Seems like a direct translation from Chinese.), which kind of friends will they will chose? Making friends with same interests or different? (This kind of expression is extremely ambiguous: by 'friends with same interest', do you mean these 'friends' have the same interest within themselves - but not necessarily the same with yours - or these 'friends' have the same interest with you?) In my opinion, I will choose friends who have distinguishing interests with me. There are several reasons I want to list. (From the question you gave in Chinese - 不同兴趣人格的人能不能做朋友 - the question seems to be asking whether people of different interests CAN be friends. However, you seem to be arguing for questions that probably read more like: people of different interests SHOULD be friends, or WHICH kind of friends SHOULD people make, or WHICH kind of friends you CHOOSE to make. These are two entirely different statements. Since I don't know what the original question is, I can't make any conclusion, but please take a mental note for yourself to check your essay against the actual question.)

The first reason is that making friends who have not similar interests with you can expand our knowledge. (A word of caution: 'friends who have NOT similar interests' doesn't necessarily mean 'friends with DIFFERENT interests'. Qualify your statements carefully.)（contacting with different friends gives one a broader out look to life）(Why is there a pair of brackets here?) Friends who will bring you some new things and then show you the world is huge and colorful. (This is a fragment.) Imagine this: I have two friends, one from China and another is American, then I can easily know about the two country’s cultures, history and tasty food. From my friend come from China, I can know about this outstanding country's great history, I can know why the ancient of china built the Great Wall and Forbidden City. From my American friend I also can improve my English skills. With this skill I can go to American to do a further study. However, I make friend in my own country will never know culture of other countries (First, language is not like maths - 'I make friend in my own country' + 'friend in my own country will never know culture of other countries' != 'I make friend in my own country will never know culture of other countries'...Second, you talked about 'English skills', which isn't really a 'culture', so your comparison is not valid at all. Third, saying that friends from your own country will NEVER KNOW culture of other countries is a downright understatement - just think about people like Joseph Needham 李约瑟 and John K. Fairbank 费正清...).

Furthermore, having friends with different interests can let me gain the opportunity to obtain some experience I cannot have from my friends who have the same interest like me. (different friends can enrich our experiences by their conducts and thoughts that are different from ours) (Another pair of brackets. Are these your draft topics?) Just as my friends like play basketball (Another fragment, and grammatically incorrect too..), but I likely to play badminton. Someday, I find playing basketball can easier attract charming girls more easily than badminton. (Hmm. I admire your honesty. Seriously.) Therefore I turn to playing basketball. And then it is very convince (Do you mean 'convenient'?) to me to ask my friends how to play basketball well. Fortunately they will patiently give me his or her experience (You can't 'give' experience. You 'give' advice.), and will ask me to play with them in order to practice my basketball skills. But if you just have friends who only play badminton well, how can you can learn to play basketball? (This is extremely interesting because you obviously never tried to answer your own question to see if your reasoning is truly strong. If you just have friends who only play badminton well, how can you learn to play basketball? 'From basketball teachers who are not my friends but will teach basketball if I pay them, of course!' The question here is: MUST you learn basketball from friends? Your argument and your example is good, but the way you conclude this paragraph immediately shows you're never quite clear how exactly this example relates back to the point you're trying to argue. Think about it.)

Nevertheless, it is also good to ourselves to make friends with same interests. Because they know us even more than ourselves some times, and we give us? suggestions which are from our perspective to us? when we are depressed. However, making this kind of friend will limit your knowledge and will let you difficult? to adapt modern society in where you have to make many various kinds of? friends in future.

In a nutshell, considering the reasons I talked about above, even though making friends with similar interests can let us feel comfortable, make friends with different interests will give you more chances to obtain another kinds of knowledge you never know. Therefore, I surely like to make friends with different interests.

总结：

语法 - 你的句法非常弱，尤其在平行复句中基本写不出像样的句子，请多加注意。

词汇 - 有很多语义不焉的表达..部分是因为语法混乱，部分是因为看不出你在想些什么 =.=

逻辑 - 你有很好的论点和论据，但是你的论证非常弱。论证的意思是你要让读者看到你的论据是怎么能证明你的论点的，这个证明的过程要解释得清晰、充分、有力，而不是顺着论据想到什么就写什么看看差不多一段了就可以了。最起码的，在每个论点段的结尾都要回去想想你前面说了这么多到底有没有说明你本段第一句话说的那个论点。。

fatruiUID：2726256

1.28 By Fatrui
          Title: The telephone has a greater effect on people's lives than the television do.
    A recent survey show that people in the growing number are use factional mobile phone today, since mobile phone lead our lives become more convenient and colorful. Unlike mobile phone which is so small and has powerful faction, television is losing its previous important stage in our daily lives. In my opinion, mobile phone plays an important role in our lives and produce efficient impact on our lives.

    The first reason is that mobile phone has various factions that television without. people now can use their mobile phone to control their home, can suffer the internet and can make a phone call to their friends no matter when and no matter where. However, people can just in front television to obtain some news or watch movies which mobile phone also can watch. Along with the development of our science, mobile can use as a GPRS which you can use it to find a best way to your destination. And GPRS will show you which way is shortcut and which way will have traffic jam, then we can spent less time to arrive our destination. Because mobile have a huge number of function that television do not have，Therefore I can argue that telephone bring greater effort to our lives

    More importantly, mobile phone is more convenient than television. Compare mobile phone which is small and light, television are big and heavy. Therefore if we want to see some news or watch movies we have to sit in front of the television, nevertheless we can just pick up our mobile phones out of our pockets immediately and just press some button, then we can easily attain the information what is important to us. Moreover we can bring our mobile phone everywhere; unfortunately, we can not take television any where.

    However, television is also useful. Majority of people like to watch some films with their whole family members after dinner. Sitting on the sofa and eating the snacks, the phenomenon is very warm. Surely, with family members seeing film will improve our relationship between family members. But it is waste of our time if we want to get information from television. We can just use mobile to do what the thing television can do.

    From what we have discussed above, I can strongly confirm that telephone play a significant role in our lives. Since it not only can do what the television can do, but also can do other things like buying books in on-line shop and contract the people we are miss.

lilacxiaoUID：2472270

The telephone has a greater effect onpeople's lives than the television do.

1.28 By Fatrui
A recent survey shows that people in thegrowing number are use factional (这个单词表示不确定，不知是不是你看到的专门用法)mobile phone today（不确定这句话有没有语法错误，保险的方法可以用 A recent survey shows that people are using more and more mobilephone today， 可能没有你之前的生动）, asmobile phone leads us to enjoy a more convenient and colorful life. (lead,become 放一起似乎不合适。)Unlike mobilephone which is so small and has powerful faction （function？）, televisionis losing its previous important stage in our daily lives. In my opinion,mobile phone plays a significant role in our lives and produces efficientimpact on our lives.


The first reason is that mobile phone has various functions thattelevision can never compare.. people now can(可以用 are able to, 因为后面也用了can) usetheir mobile phone to control their home, surf the internet and make a phonecall to their friends no matter when and no matter where. However, people canjust sit in front of television to obtain some news or watch movies which wecan also do with telephone(语法有错误). Alongwith the development of our science, mobile can be used as a GPRS which canhelp us to (you, we不要混用，保持一致，后面的不一一改了..) find a best way to your destination. And GPRS will show youwhich way is shortcut and which way will have traffic jam, then we can spendless time to arrive at (or reach)our destination. Because mobile have a hugenumber of functions that television do not have，Therefore I can argue that telephone brings greater benifits to ourlives


More importantly, mobile phone is more convenient than television.Compare mobile phone which is small and light, television are big and heavy (恩，有错误。You can put it this way: Compared with mobile phone which is smalland light, television is relatively big and heavy. ). Therefore if we want tosee some news or watch movies (with television), we have to sit in front of thetelevision. nevertheless we can just pick up our mobile phones out of ourpockets immediately and press some button, then we can easily attain theinformation what is important to us.(it better if “nevertheless, with mobilephones, to attain the information we want, what we need to do is simply pickingup the mobile phones out of our pockets and pressing several bottons”) Moreoverwe can bring our mobile phone everywhere; unfortunately, we can not taketelevision any where.* v: _& d. d8 s. H8 B8 r


However, television is also useful.
(The )Majority （写大多数人太强烈了，因为你是不支持电视的） of people like to watch some films with their whole family membersafter dinner. Sitting on the sofa and eating the snacks, the phenomenon is verywarm. Surely, seeing （watching film） with family members will improve our relationship. But it is wasteof our time if we want to get information from television. We can just usemobile to do the things television can do.


From what we have discussed above, I can strongly confirm that telephoneplays a significant role in our lives. Since it not only can do what thetelevision can do, but also can do other things like buying books in on-lineshop and contract (contacting) the people we are miss. (结尾不要出现正文里没有提到的例子哦)

总结：1，整个行文感觉挺好的，结构也不错，也用到了很细节的描述和举例
2，细读会发现语法错误很多哦，第三人称单数，主动被动，主语一致问题Fatrui注意下啊。个人觉得这是你最大的问题。
3，用词比较简单，常用的大啊，重要啊，多积累些词汇哦
4，三段正文中，最后一段相对不够好，重点不够明确，逻辑性不够强。需要再考虑一下怎么自圆其说更好。
5，最后，我改的也比较粗糙，有选择的接受哦，一起加油;-)



ps：我发你邮箱了，格式问题折腾了好久，好不容易弄好了发上去还是乱码...sorry...

fatruiUID：2726256

2.2
Topic：Printed book have had greater effects on society than television has

    According to a latest survey, nowadays, people in growing number are likely to leave their printed book along instead by sitting in front of television to watch news, film and some interesting programs. Why people do like see television rather read printed book? As far as I concerned, television play an essential role in our daily lives. It is kind of interesting to find out the reasons behind

    The first reason is that television provides us more opportunities to see a great deal of useful information immediately. However, none of the printed book can does like television to show information to its viewer immediately. Nowadays, who have latest useful information quickly, who can control the situation. If we want to see some latest news we can just turn on our television, then we can see the broadcast as soon as possible. The television show news every day and renewing them very quickly. But printed book, like magazine which publish at least 2 times per month cannot let us obtain the information immediately. As the development of society is very fast; if we cannot attain information which is benefit us immediately we cannot stand out among the competitors.

    More importantly, television provides us with lively pictures to lead us to understand some objects well. Unlike television which provides various interests programs, printed book just fulfill words and is troublesome. A very good example is that I can just lie on my sofa at home and see the program I like. Discovery the program I like best utilize vivid images to tell something about animals, mythology and so on. By this way，I can well comprehensive what the panda like，how china built Great Wall with modern technology. However, if I read the book it is very boring. Since I can just read some limited pictures and words on the limited pieces of paper.

    Nevertheless, printed book also influence on our lives. Because of printed book is light and small, we can bring then everywhere. When I in airplane I can read the magazine to consume my boring time. Also I can get some travel information from magazine. However the content printed book provided is limited; it just provides some pictures to us and may let us misunderstand some real things.

    From what we discuss above, I can firmly make a conclusion that television is play extremely important role in our daily lives. We can see numbers of interesting programs we like and we can just softly absorb the knowledge provided by television. Even though printed book is convenient to read, it just provide bounded information to us .Therefore, television have an strongly impact on our daily lives.

coxUID：2730480

2.2:
Topic：Printed book have had greater effects on society than television has
.   According to a latest survey, nowadays, people in growing number are likely to leave their printed book（books）along（alone） instead by sitting in front of television to watch news, film(films) and some interesting programs. Why people do like see television rather read printed book?(Why do people like to see television rather that reading printed book) As far as I concerned, television play an essential role in our daily lives(life, 复数表示生命). It is kind of interesting to find out the reasons behind
第一段很流畅自然，向你学习。 我觉得最后一句是不是有点不太自然
   The first reason is that television provides us more opportunities to see a great deal of useful information immediately. [However, none of the printed book can does like television to show information to its viewer immediately.（none of the printed books , like television ,can do show information to its viewers immediately）](应该把中括号这句移至几个#的地方，论述上会显得有条理) Nowadays, who have latest useful information quickly, who can control the situation.(不太地道吧， more quickly someone gets latest useful information, more chances someone succeeds ) If we want to see some latest news we can just turn on our television, then we can see the broadcast as soon as possible. The television show news every day and renewing them very quickly. ####But printed book, like magazine which publish at least 2 times per month cannot let us obtain the information immediately. As the development of society is very fast; if we cannot attain information {which is benefit us} (这个定语从句语法错误，不如去掉 就用个usefu)immediately we cannot stand out among the competitors.
第二段略逊于第一段，在论证的顺序上应注意，比较多语法错误。
其实可以多加点例子，显得更有说服力么。

    More importantly, television provides us with lively pictures to lead us to understand some objects well. Unlike television which provides various interest(interesting) programs, printed book just fulfill words and is troublesome. A very good example is that I can just lie on my sofa at home and see the program I like. Discovery the program I like best utilize vivid images to tell something about animals, mythology and so on. By this way，I can well(缺少动词) comprehensive what the panda like，how china（China） built Great Wall with modern technology. However, if I read the book it is very boring. Since I can just read some limited pictures and words on the limited pieces of paper.  
   Nevertheless, printed book also influence on our lives(life). Because of printed book is light and small, we can bring then(them) everywhere. When I (am)in airplane I can read the magazine to consume my boring time. Also I can get some travel information from magazine. However the content printed book provided is limited; it just provides some pictures to us and may let us misunderstand some real things.
From what we discuss(-ed) above, I can firmly make a conclusion that television is play extremely important role in our daily lives. We can see numbers(没有见过number这个用法) of interesting programs we like and we can just softly absorb the knowledge provided by television. Even though printed book is convenient to read, it just provide bounded information to us .Therefore, television have an strongly impact on our daily lives.


总结：
1. 第一段真的开的很自然，还是忍不住再赞一个！
感觉你想表达的东西还是听多的，内容可以。
2. 在论证上，三个理由的顺序 和内容上有待再考虑。
    语法错误还是比较多的。
3. 建议你采取S的 翻译方法开始练起。

fatruiUID：2726256

2.4号 By Fatrui
Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past.

Along with the development of technology, we can get information just with a touch of a button and we can have a much more comfortable work atmosphere. However technology also exerts negative effect on our lives like pollution for example. And majority of people will ask: “Is it the technology reduce our children's ability of creative?” But I strongly think that the technology extremely increase our children's creative abilities. It is kind of interesting to find out the reasons behind.

First of all, I think that children achieve as many information as they can enhance their creative abilities. Only when children know the world their lived in is wonderful and colorful, so they can create thing which can out of their original limited imagination. I argue that it is impossible for children who spend his or her whole life in a dark room and never go out of this room, can create something new. Thus receiving information play a significant part in increasing children's creative abilities. Nowadays, new technology in the form of internet has helped us to break the limitation of a country's frontiers. Using the internet, children can know what the other countries look like. After enrich their experience and knowledge, children can create more and more interesting fashionable things.

More importantly, technology offers children numbers of opportunities to have comfortable lives. As long as have the comfortable lives, children can have chances to create what they want. If most of children still in a miserable lives and have to face the danger of starvation and exposure, I hardly can think that they will have mood to create new idea. Nowadays, with air-condition, which can make people have a comfortable work phenomenon no matter the weather is extremely hot or cold, children at classroom can softly talk about some unbelievable idea with their classmates. And we can eat many kinds of vegetable which sold in supermarket regardless of season, thus have enough nutrient to children brains. Technology provides children a cozy and high stander of life, so children will not worried about their food or clothes. Then they have chances to think some interesting idea.

Neverthenless, technology will also partly reduce children creative abilities. Children will just copy fashionable idea from others people, but do not create new idea by themselves. It is a good example of that children were assigned to write a short issue about environment. Admittly, majority of children will just surf the internet to download some information. Children will not want to utilize these various information to help them write new issue about environment, and then they will just hand in the same issue they downloaded form internet. Consequently, children find is a shortcut to finish their assignment. Without thinking, children just to do the same process again and again. Finally they will loose their creative ability.

From what we discuss above, I can firmly conclude that technology let as access to the information easily and provide the more comfortable life to children, therefore children will more creative than they were in the past.

arimidyUID：2673973

不好意思改晚了哈:loveliness:
Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past.
孩子你写了好多啊～姐姐我看糊了..
Along with the development of technology, we can get information just with a touch of a button and we can have a much more comfortable work atmosphere（首先这两点之间没有联系，很唐突；其次这两点我很难产生联想，所以都需要扩充，加个such as）. However technology also exerts negative effect on our lives like pollution（同上，又是一个唐突的观点，一般只会想到工业有污染，科技怎么会。。） for example. And majority of people will ask: “Is it the technology reduce our children's ability of creative?” (前后文的联系不够，又是那俩字—唐突，以后要注意前后文的衔接，内容的铺陈很重要)But I strongly think that the technology extremely increase our children's creative abilities. It is kind of interesting to find out the reasons behind.

First of all, I think that children achieve as many information as they can enhance their creative abilities（首句应该对文章关键点联系有所阐述，所以加个with the use of technology更好些）. Only when children know the world their lived in is wonderful and colorful, so they can create thing which can out of their original limited imagination. I argue that it is impossible for children who spend his or her whole life in a dark room and never go out of this room, can create something new（好灰暗的世界啊，例子最好不要举地太过极端）. Thus receiving information play a significant part in increasing children's creative abilities. Nowadays, new technology in the form of internet has helped us to break the limitation of a country's frontiers. Using the internet, children can know what the other countries look like. After enrich their experience and knowledge, children can create more and more interesting fashionable things.

More importantly, technology offers children numbers of opportunities to have comfortable lives（同上的问题，首句对文章关键点的重复可以为文章加分，避免偏题）. As long as have the comfortable lives, children can have chances to create what they want. If most of children still in a miserable lives and have to face the danger of starvation and exposure, I hardly can think that they will have mood to create new ideas. Nowadays, with air-condition, which can make people have a comfortable work phenomenon no matter the weather is extremely hot or cold, children at classroom can softly talk about some unbelievable idea with their classmates(总觉得前后缺少联系，添句as technology provides a more suitable environment for children to think freely). And we can eat many kinds of vegetable which sold in supermarket regardless of season, thus have enough nutrient to children brains. Technology provides children a cozy and high stander of life, so children will not worried about their food or clothes(一句话，缺少能一语点破个中联系的句子，所以论据看上去很无力). Then they have chances to think some interesting idea.

Neverthenless, technology will also partly reduce children creative abilities. Children will just copy fashionable idea from others people, but do not create new idea by themselves. It is a good example of that children were assigned to write a short issue about environment. Admittly, majority of children will just surf the internet to download some information(加上一句do the copy and paste thing only). Children will not want to utilize these various information（sources of info） to help them write new issue about environment, and then they will just hand in the same issue they downloaded form internet. Consequently, children find is a shortcut to finish their assignment. Without thinking, children just to do the same process again and again. Finally they will loose their creative ability.（由于你的主体是说Technology好的，所以要么不要这段，要么就要加一些反驳的话，比如its helpfulness overweighs its disadvantages之类 ）

From what we discuss above, I can firmly conclude that technology let as access to the information easily and provide the more comfortable life to children, therefore children will more creative than they were in the past.