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[未归类] eddie的独立作文 1.19 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-1-19 23:57:48 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 eddie23508ok 于 2010-1-19 23:59 编辑

1.19 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In most of the democratic countries, people are permitted to do whatever they enjoy doing only if they do not break the law. However sometimes under some situations people should, even have to do things that they do not enjoy. Why? Here goes my explanation.

Firstly people should do things they do not enjoy because the bitter and unpleasant process is beneficial for the improvement of their various skills. Take study as a example. I do believe that every student shares this feeling that study really requires the ability to stand solitariness and the spirit of perseverance, which form the bitter memory of those who make through it. In fact, not only study, if one want to improve his or her skill, a tough process of training is inevitable. Because learning something is like carving the knowledge into your brain and heart, and carving into flesh certainly accompanies with pain.

Secondly people have to do things they do not enjoy because of their unshakable faith and loyalty. This is especially obvious for soldiers. On the war field where death could happen anytime, for the victory and peace of the country, as a qualified soldier, they would not consider their own safty but just rush forward without hesitation and fight with the invaders bravely. But think about it, no one is really not afraid of death, but it is their loyalty drives themselves. Additionally, when we stay with our families and enjoy the moment of the reunion, please do not forget those soldiers guarding at the border of our country. They give up their reunion with their families and guarantee our happiness. All in all, faith and loyalty are the motivations.

Last but not least people have to do things they do not enjoy because of their own obligation and sense of the law. When a policeman is faced to the murderer who has killed all his families, he has to arrest the criminal in the name of law and send the murderer into the court and let the law punish him. The policeman did not finish the life of the criminal directly, although he hate the murderer more than anybody else on the earth. Why? It is just his obligation and sense of law.

To sum up, although we are living in democratic countries and can do whatever we enjoy without breaking the law, because of our goal, our faith and loyalty or our obligation, sometimes we should or even have to do things that we do not enjoy.

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发表于 2010-1-20 09:53:51 |显示全部楼层
In most of the democratic countries, people are permitted to do whatever they enjoy doing only if they do not break the law. However sometimes under some situations people should, even have to do things that they do not enjoy. Why? Here goes my explanation.


, ^! T" {3 y. q! v4 r8 a# x
Firstly people should do things they do not enjoy because the bitter and unpleasant process is beneficial for the improvement of their various skills. Take study as a (an) example. I do believe that every student shares this feeling that study really requires the ability to stand solitariness and the spirit of perseverance, which form the bitter memory of those who make through it. In fact, not only study, if one wants to improve his or her skill, a tough process of training is inevitable. Because learning something is like carving the knowledge into your brain and heart, and carving into flesh certainly accompanies with pain.

Secondly people have to do things they do not enjoy because of their unshakable faith and loyalty. This is especially obvious for soldiers. On the war field where death could happen anytime, for the victory and peace of the country, as a qualified soldier, they (单复不一致呢,还有就是这句话前几个分句读起来不连贯) would not consider their own safty but just rush forward without hesitation and fight with the invaders bravely. But think about it, no one is really not afraid of death, but it is their loyalty which drives themselves. Additionally, when we stay with our families and enjoy the moment of the reunion, please do not forget those soldiers guarding at the border of our country. They give up their reunion with their families and guarantee our happiness. All in all, faith and loyalty are the motivations.

Last but not least people have to do things they do not enjoy because of their own obligation and sense of the law. When a policeman is faced to (被动?) the murderer who has killed all his (有点不明确,不知道是指的policeman还是murderer,我是再往后读才知道的) families, he has to arrest the criminal in the name of law and send the murderer into the court and let the law punish him. The policeman did not finish the life of the criminal directly, although he hates the murderer more than anybody else on the earth. Why? It is just his obligation and sense of law.
To sum up, although we are living in democratic countries and can do whatever we enjoy without breaking the law, because of our goal, our faith and loyalty or our obligation, sometimes we should or even have to do things that we do not enjoy.

不错也,思路清晰,句子流畅呵呵
我只有一点感觉,当然这应该是我想得复杂了。最后两个例子,一个士兵一个警察,我觉得楼主是先认定士兵其实是没有不害怕的(no one is really not afraid of death),或者警察实际上还是很恨罪犯并想杀了他的(The policeman did not finish the life of the criminal directly, although he hates the murderer more than…),然后说某些因素让他们做不喜欢的事(冲锋陷阵或者不杀罪犯)。我是觉得这类例子伦理性太强了,要只是用喜欢和不喜欢来区分的话就有那么点不合适。但是对于简单的例子比如说学生的玩耍和学习,貌似用喜欢和不喜欢来分就很正常。估计是我想得太多了,叹气。。。
有什么说的不对的还请包涵哦
Ps.我以前没限时,现在才开始限时没多久,发现一定时间,句子转换词汇什么的就非常受限制sigh。主要是我的逻辑一直很混乱,从小到现在都是。。。我悔以前没有好好学语文

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发表于 2010-1-20 13:10:18 |显示全部楼层
1.19 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
8 Y9 X; C. e& b/ Z
In most of the democratic countries, people are permitted to do whatever they enjoy doing only if they do not break the law. However sometimes under some situations people should, even have to do things that they do not enjoy. Why? Here goes my explanation.

Firstly people should do things they do not enjoy because the bitter and unpleasant process is beneficial for the improvement of their various skills. Take study as a(an) example. I do believe that every student shares this feeling that study really requires the ability to stand solitariness and the spirit of perseverance, which form the bitter memory of those who make through it. In fact, not only study, if one want to improve his or her skill, a tough process of training is inevitable. Because learning something is like carving the knowledge into your brain and heart, and carving into flesh certainly accompanies with pain.

Secondly people have to do things they do not enjoy because of their unshakable faith and loyalty. This is especially obvious for soldiers. On the war field where death could happen anytime, for the victory and peace of the country, as a qualified soldier, they would not consider their own safety but just rush forward without hesitation and fight with the invaders bravely. But think about it, no one is really not afraid of death, but it is their loyalty drives themselves. (这句的表达有些贴近中文,我觉得可以直接正面说,Driven by their sense of loyalty, the soldiers stand up and face death bravely, which distinct them from the common people .) Additionally, when we stay with our families and enjoy the moment of the reunion, please do not forget those soldiers guarding at the border of our country. They give up their reunion with their families and guarantee our happiness. All in all, faith and loyalty are the motivations. (个人觉得这个小段总结可以省,或者可以写的更完整一些,现在这个句子有点和前文节奏不符合的感觉)
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Last but not least people have to do things they do not enjoy because of their own obligation and sense of the law.(sense of the law 可以吗?  Sense of the law enforcement 或者什么被法律束缚的sense可能比较恰当) When a policeman is faced to the murderer who has killed all his families, he has to arrest the criminal in the name of law and send the murderer into the court and let the law punish him. The policeman did not(这里时态有点不合适 在故事叙述时没有前后background 用 cannot如何) finish the life of the criminal directly, although he hate the murderer more than anybody else on the earth. Why? It is just his obligation and sense of law.

To sum up, although we are living in democratic countries and can do whatever we enjoy without breaking the law, because of our goal, our faith and loyalty or our obligation, sometimes we should or even have to do things that we do not enjoy.: j; j6 R# Z3 @' x" I: {7 n

学习你的切入,很不错。开头段也很好,不过一个小小建议,少用些CHINESE BACKGROUND, 我的意思是前面的民主的那句, 将考官个人倾向影响减到最小程度。
加州的阳光

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RE: eddie的独立作文 1.19 [修改]

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