作文专楼

wqqangUID: 2770317

先来开个楼...等会再发上来...哟西！

wqqangUID: 2770317

1# wqqang
4.25
      Along with thedevelopment of media, movies, which enjoyed by an increasing number of people,are now the most fashionable ways for entertainment. Though, a large number ofpeople prefer comedy, for my part, I still firmly convinced that movies whichmake us think are the best choose for everyone, especially for adolescences.

It is obvious that movies which fall intokind of light entertainment category have some advantages. Some people say, forexample, after one day’s hard work, watch kind of humorous films with ourfamily can distract us from seriousness of daily life. However, in my opinion, Iwould better choose to share a cozy meal with my family. As we known, sometimesmovies waste a large amount of your time, which may influence your work.

As for movies, I regard it as a seriousbusiness. Nowadays, we are not only asked to have knowledge in math, physical,psychology but also in the view of political and opinions about life, naturaland so on. And movies, as one of the most essential parts of media, influence teenagers’opinions directly. As play such an important role in our society, it may bebetter if movies can provide an absolutely new point of views for adding us todiscussion. For instance, the movie, LIFE, which won the supreme prize years ago,talked about the correct way for us to treat worldwide animals. All of theaudience moved by the change of the cruel hunter. After few days, a new circleof Animals Protect set up, and attracted a lot of people. The circle stillworks lively now. As you see, these kinds of movies which make us think alwayslead to revolution in our society, actually, this is what we deadly neednowadays.

Another advantage of serious film is thatit’s more effective for a director shows his talent in movie, such as editing,lighting, camera movement and so on. The range of skills is wilder than amusingmovies and accepted by more people. For example, the movie LIFE, changed stereotypicalway of showing someone inside activities. This kind of innovates acclaimed bythe majority of its audience.

From what has been discussed above,although movies designed just for entertainment have several pros, I stillbelieve that positive influence offer by serious movies are more obvious. In myopinion, serious movies do benefit our life.

jiang08UID: 2391146

大概看了一遍，论点不错，没啥问题。
语言方面有些小错误，比如最后一段，pro总是和con连用的，pros and cons。另外请复习一下定语从句。

chengyue100UID: 2803763

Along with the development of media，movies, which are enjoyed by an increasing number of people,are now the most fashionable ways for entertainment. Though, a large number of people prefer comedy, for my part, I still firmly convinced that movies which make us think are the best choice for everyone, especially for adolescences.7 ^5 l# G! L- c- @% e4 z1 f9 \. @

It is obvious that movies which fall into kind of(此处kind of太口语化) light entertainment category have some advantages. Some people say, for example, after one day’s hard work, watching （kind of）此处kind of 多余humorous films with our family can distract us from seriousness of daily life. However, in my opinion, I would better choose to share a cozy meal with my family. As we known, sometimes movies waste a large amount of your time, which may influence your work. （此处which指代time？which一般不能指代前面整个句子）
此段论证还不错，但是不够具体，你的思想最好要有具体的例子来佐证，这样才有说服力。不要总是泛泛而谈。
As for movies, I regard it as a serious business. Nowadays, we are not only asked to have knowledge in math, physical,and（连接几个不同事物要用连词） psychology but also requested to have a knowledge of politics and opinions about life, naturaland so on. （not only……but also …..结构要讲究并列原则，并应该是严格并列，and so on这个结构没必要用）And movies, as one of the most essential （most 一般不修饰essential，因为esstntial本身就是很重要，不可或缺的意思）parts of media, influence teenagers’opinions directly. As play such an important role in our society, it may be better if movies can provide an absolutely new point of views for adding us to discussion. （play 的逻辑主语是it？it指代什么？而且add us to discussion 这是中文的字面翻译，不要写Chinglish）For instance, the movie, LIFE, which won the supreme prize years ago,talked about the correct way for us to treat worldwide animals. All of theaudience moved by the change of the cruel hunter. After few days, a new circleof Animals Protect set up, and attracted a lot of people. The circle stillworks lively now. As you see, these kinds of movies which make us think alwayslead to revolution in our society, actually, this is what we deadly neednowadays.' {+ P% Z4 l2 D0 Q* ?

Another advantage of serious film is that it’s （不要用缩写，应该写成it is）more effective for a director shows his talent in movie, such as editing,lighting, camera movement and so on. The range of skills is wilder than amusingmovies and accepted by more people. For example, the movie LIFE, changed stereotypicalway of showing someone inside activities. This kind of innovates acclaimed bythe majority of its audience.

From what has been discussed above,although movies designed just for entertainment have several pros, I stillbelieve that positive influence offer by serious movies are more obvious. In myopinion, serious movies do benefit our life.
楼主作文能注意到一些固定短语的用法，这很好！但是语法还需要提高，用词也应该再丰富一些，最重要的是文章不够具体，有些段落只是泛泛而谈，没有能说服人的例子。比如说喜欢在家和家人一起吃饭，那么要在心里问自己为什么？和家人一起吃饭的感觉是什么？这里就有描写，有细节要写。加油！！！

canoe03UID: 2786666

Along with the development of media, movies, which enjoyed by an increasing number of people, are now the most fashionable ways for entertainment. Though, a large number of people prefer comedy, for my part, I still firmly convinced that movies which make us think are the best choose(呵呵，choice) for everyone, especially for adolescences.


It is obvious that movies which fall into kind of light entertainment category have some advantages. Some people say, for example, after one day’s hard work, watch kind of humorous films with our(前面是people say，
这里突然用our貌似有点突兀) family can distract us from seriousness of daily life. However, in my opinion, I would better choose to share a cozy meal with my family. As we known, sometimes movies waste a large amount of your time, which may influence your work（这个从句如果指代的是电影浪费时间的话，这里这样写就有点不大好，which改成this会不会好些呢？这里写“众所周知，电影很浪费时间blabla。。。好像有点武断）.

As for movies, I regard it as a serious business. Nowadays, we are not only asked to have knowledge in(on) math, physical, psychology but also in the view of political and opinions about life, natural(nature) and so on. And movies, as one of the most essential parts(part) of media, influence teenagers’ opinions directly. As play such an important role in our society, it may be better if movies can provide an absolutely new point of views for adding us to discussion. For instance, the movie, LIFE, which won the supreme prize(斗胆问一句：到底是咩奖？可否仔细说来比较有说服力) years ago, talked about the correct way for us to treat worldwide animals. All of the audience (are) moved by the change of the cruel hunter(不好意思，这句话搞不懂什么意思啦). After few days, a new circle of Animals Protect set up, and attracted a lot of people. The circle still works lively now. As you see, these kinds of movies which make us think always lead to revolution in our society, actually, this is what we deadly need nowadays.

Another advantage of serious film is that it’s more effective for a director shows his talent in movie, such as editing, lighting, camera movement and so on. The range of skills is wilder than amusing movies and accepted by more people. For example, the movie LIFE, changed stereo typical way of showing someone inside activities(呵呵，还是用了LIFE的例子，说的还不是很明白). This kind of innovates acclaimed by the majority of its audience.


From what has been discussed above, although movies designed just for entertainment have several pros（妙哉）, I still believe that positive influence offer by serious movies are more obvious. In my opinion, serious movies do benefit our life(lives).
（楼主用词还是很好，就是第二段好像和题目的联系比较弱，整篇文章的论据比较弱，尤其是LIFE这个电影的例子用了两次，第二次说的也不够详细，可能不大有说服力。在这方面，楼主加油！我若有不当之处请谅解！）




还有 楼主不要忘了改我4.24号的 那天只有我一人 所以并到今天来了 我因为白天要工作 只能晚上努力了 见谅！

wqqangUID: 2770317

2# wqqang
很努力把文又修改了变呢...╮(╯▽╰)╭累死我了
关于说道是什么奖的...事实上这个例子纯属杜撰，新东方告诉我们不管例子是真是假，幼稚or成熟，总之例子是王道。
鉴于本人实在是不看电影，所以编出来的东西不具体是灰常正常的~\(≧▽≦)/~啦啦啦我已经很努力了！

灰常感谢以上童鞋的帮助！阿里阿多！

Along with thedevelopment of media, movies, which are enjoyedby an increasing number of people, are now the most fashionable ways forentertainment. Though, a large number of people prefer comedy, for my part, I am still firmly convinced that movies which make usthink profoundly are the best choice for everyone, especially for adolescents.

It is obvious that movies which fall intolight entertainment category have some advantages. Some people say, forexample, after one day’s hard work, watching a humorousfilm with theirs’ family can free them from intense stress of daily life. However, in myopinion, I would better choose to share a cozy meal with my family. During the meal time, I can share the adventure with myfamily member. When talk about movies, as weknow, sometimes movies are likely to wastea large amount of your time, this may be influence your work.

As for movies, I regard it as a seriousbusiness. Nowadays, we are not only asked to have knowledge in math, physics and psychology but also in the view of politics and opinions about life and nature. And movies, as one of the essential parts of media, influence teenagers’opinions directly. As it plays such an importantrole in our society, better if movies can provide an absolutely new point of view for us. For instance, the movie, LIFE, which wonthe supreme prize years ago, talked about the correct way for us to treatworldwide animals. All of the audiences weremoved by the change of the cruel hunter. After few days, a new institution of Animals Protect was set up, and attracted a lot of people. The association still works lively now. As you see, thesekinds of movies which polish our thinking alwayslead to revolution in our society, actually, this is what we deadly neednowadays.

Another advantage of serious film is that it is more effective for a director to shows his talent in movie, such as editing,lighting, camera movement and so on. The range of skills is wider than amusing movies and thereforeaccepted by more people. For example, asmentioned above, the movie LIFE, changed stereotypical way of showing someone’s mental activities. Whenthe hunter saw the injured deer, the editor used an aside to show the man’smental life. This kind of innovation wasacclaimed by the majority of its audience.

From what has been discussed above,although movies designed just for entertainment have several merits, I still believe that positive influence offered by serious movies are more obvious. In myopinion, serious movies do benefit our lives.

wqqangUID: 2770317

4.28
听大家的意见，写得灰常具体，结果长度收不住了...⊙﹏⊙b汗，下次在改进
Along with thedevelopment of media, nowadays, we can receive information from all over theworld more easily. Though a large number of people still refuse to acquire newswhich has no influence to their daily life through media, I still firmlybelieve that it is necessary for us to know event happening around world.

The majority of people who do not careabout news always say that “we should keep focus on our career; actually, we donot have time care about something far from our life.” However, in my opinion,these people just find an excuse for their lazy. For example, one of my friendshas ever told me that he wasn’t interested in such events because of his busyworking. But once I went to his house, what I actually found was that he waspromoting his skill about shuffling the decks. As we know, human beings alwaysabandon in something have no meaning, then why not spending time knowing eventshappening worldwide. It does benefit our life.

One of the advantages is that we canenlarge our scope of knowledge in order to adapt us to the development ofsociety. Currently, we are not only asked to have knowledge in math, physics,psychology, but also the view of political and environment protecting, whichcan be offered by the news. Last year, a friend of mine planed to find a job ina large company. As the interviewer referred to the object in SE province, hesaid that as for a large amount of money did the object need, he didn’t agreeto set up such an object. And then, he exampled some statistic which given bynews. The leader sharply moved by his comprehensive knowledge and then decidedto employ him. Luckily did he keep on widen his knowledge, so that he couldseized the opportunity. As we live in an embracing the Knowledge Economy Age,only if we care about things happening around world can we keep our skillsfresh and up-to-date.

Another advantage I have to say is that,focus on events can also improve out interpersonal skills. For example, yearsago, I moved to a new citywhich was completely different from the last one. Climate, transportation andways people communicate. Luckily, I kept reading newspaper and found out whathappened all over the world. I talked about things happened which had noinfluence on our life with my new classmates and quickly make friends withthem. The more you know, the more freely you can talk with others.

From what has been discussed above, thoughsome event happening around world, superficially, has no affect in my dailylife, it plays an important role in our growing way. Therefore, it is importantfor us to focus on such event.

wyl_stevenUID: 2728535

Along with thedevelopment of media, nowadays, we can receive information from all over theworld more easily. Though a large number of people still refuse to acquire newswhich has no influence to their daily life through media, I still firmlybelieve that it is necessary for us to know event happening around world.
' P  c% J# G4 I* Y) v& d1 r8 R4 R. ]7 O: W4 ]
The majority of people who do not careabout news always say that “we should keep focus on our career; actually, we donot have time care about something far from our life.” However, in my opinion,these people just find an excuse for their lazy（laziness）. For example, one of my friendshas ever told me that he wasn’t interested in such events because of his busyworking. But once I went to his house, what I actually found was that he waspromoting his skill about shuffling the decks. As we know, human beings alwaysabandon in(in 省略) something that have no meaning, then (then?)why not spending time knowing eventshappening worldwide. （这句写的很口语化）It does benefit our life.

+ M" p! ~$ }& IOne of the advantages is that we canenlarge our scope of knowledge in order to adapt us to the development ofsociety. Currently, we are not only asked to have knowledge in math, physics,psychology, but also the view of political politics and environment protecting, whichcan be offered by the news. Last year, a friend of mine planed to find a job ina large company. As the interviewer referred to the object in SE province(???), he said that as for a large amount of money did the object need, he didn’t agreeto set up such an object. And then, he exampled some statistic which given bynews. The leader sharply moved by his comprehensive knowledge and then decidedto employ him. Luckily did he keep on widen his knowledge, so that he couldseized the opportunity. As we live in the embracing the Knowledge Economy Age. only if we care about things happening around world can we keep our skills advanced and up-to-date.
, `0 a4 Q. h  M* ^/ V$ u, F2 [7 _- q, I8 y- d9 u, }: ^
Another advantage I have to say is that,focusing on events can also improve out interpersonal skills. For example, yearsago, I moved to a new citywhich was completely different from the last one. Climate, transportation andways people communicate. Luckily, I kept reading newspaper and found out whathappened all over the world. I talked about things happened which had noinfluence on our life with my new classmates and quickly make friends withthem. The more you know, the more freely you can talk with others.
' i; B2 H- T5 _) K2 _- U0 b% A3 @2 F! U
From what has been discussed above, thoughsome events happening around world, superficially, has no affect in my dailylife, it plays an important role in our growing way. Therefore, it is importantfor us to focus on such event.

文章结构还是不错的，而且没什么错误。读完感觉怪怪的…… 例子过渡的有些生硬