polaris_jie的作业贴

polaris_jieUID: 2836796

Polaris_jie新加入进军美利坚独立写作小组https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1109907-2-1.html
这是我的作业贴，希望能够在7月10的托福中取得好成绩，非常感谢大家的帮忙。

polaris_jieUID: 2836796

6.19作业
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:! t7 L' g$ n  `! z
It is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than to save money for the future?


Whether it is better to spend money on travelling and vacation than to save money for the future or not has been the hot topic discussed and debated by people in different civilizations for thousands of years. It is deniable that the cost of daily life soars in these days and the future we may need much more money. However, taking a break for work and having a vacation is not only beneficial for our body but also our mind. It just like self-refreshment and it may cost a little money but it will get us ready to earn more money.
First and foremost, the pressure of work is becoming harder and harder. And if we always in this working situation, our efficiency will slash and the same work may takes us more time. This is really a bad circle. So we need a vacation or travelling to refresh ourselves. It may seem cost us some money but actually it may inspirit ourselves and raise our working efficiency.
Secondly, having a travelling or a vacation gives us more opportunities to see different things and know more about life. The daily life should not always be related with money, it should be full of passion, enthusiasm, love and so on. And taking a break for working life to breath the fresh air in nature or have a vacation with the family is really a good way for us the get the real meaning of life. It is not the work, money or position but the family health and happiness.
Furthermore, in my opinion, we need enough money but not too much money. The enough money means the money needed by daily life and some emergencies such as some disasters and more money is useless, as an old Chinese saying goes: money is the thing that we don’t born with or leave with either. So we shouldn’t place emphasis on the money but our dreams. It is the most important thing of our lives that what we really want to be and want to have. During the vacation and travelling, we may have more thinking about that.
So far, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than to save money for the future. For the vacation and travelling can refresh our selves, give us more opportunities to think the real meaning of lives and also for the money is not so important.

missoulmateUID: 2537459

第一段：  in different civilizations for thousands of years.  太假打了， 几千年前人们还在打猎呢。
          一段末句， it is just like  口语里可以省略 is 作文不得行了。

第二段： the pressure from work is increasing。  我感觉用 working environment 好点，situation有点怪。  slash 我见过和price 连用，但没见过和efficiency。

感觉说旅行和度假的好处那块可以加点，光是说理有点单薄。

第三段：  and taking a break from working life

第四段 表示出生 born 要被动 这个谚语有点不好翻译，感觉用born 不好弄
       place too much emphasis on
          最后一句， we may have more opportunities to think about that.

末端  life 当生活 没有复数 当生命有复数


看着有点累，我屏幕分辨率有点高，其他的就由给你分组的人来改了。 可能我有点挑骨头，还希望则各见谅

polaris_jieUID: 2836796

3# missoulmate
谢谢，谢谢

missoulmateUID: 2537459

补上了一些上次没发现的错误

具体的你看附件了哈。

说的有点过，还请则各见谅

potpourriUID: 2834146

还是不太会添加附件，就贴在这里啦！水平有限，见谅呀！



Whether it is better tospend money on travelling and vacation than to save money for the future or nothas been the hot topic discussed and debated by peoplein different civilizations for thousands of years.(几千年都在讨论这个问题吗？不是吧。。) It is deniable ( 是要表达不可否认吧？undeniable) that the cost of dailylife soars in these days and the future we may needmuch more money( we may need much more money in future). However, takinga break for work(?) and having a vacation is notonly beneficial for our body but also for(加一个for 才对称) our mind. Itjust like self-refreshment and it may cost a little money but it will get usready to earn more money.

: H- B! }5 u: `1 n4 A5 DFirstand foremost, the pressure of work is becoming harderand harder(这样说不太地道吧？压力应该用多少形容吧？). And if we are(添加) always in this working situation(建议改成 if we always work in such high- stress environment), ourefficiency will slash(用来形容效率吗？) and the same work may takes us more time(the same 应该怎么理解？是要表达“也就是说”吗？that is to say,…). This is really a bad circle(改成 vicious circle更好吧 ). So we need avacation or travelling to refresh ourselves. It may seem(去掉吧) cost us somemoney but actually it may inspirit ourselves and raise our working efficiency.
这段的论点清楚

3 z7 G# _# P1 p7 O! {( i# y5 bSecondly,having a travelling or a vacation gives us more opportunities to see differentthings and know more about life. The daily life should not always be relatedwith money, it should be full of passion, enthusiasm, love and so on. Andtaking a break for working life to breath the fresh air in nature or have avacation with the family is really a good way for us to(添加) get the realmeaning of life. It is not the work, money or position but the family healthand happiness.U3 \. ~

这段的论点清楚，再多说点就更好啦~~ 像你说的，除了钱以外，家人等是如何重要的，旅行可以促进感情等等。


Furthermore, in my opinion, we need enough money butnot too much money(比较别扭，要么换个开头句吧). The enough money means the money needed by dailylife and some emergencies such as some disasters and more money is useless, asan old Chinese saying goes: money is the thing that we don’t born with or leavewith either. So we shouldn’t place emphasis on the money but our dreams(we should place more emphasis on dream, less on money).It is the most important thing of our lives that what we really want to be andwant to have.(what is most important for us is to be clearabout what we really want.
) Duringthe vacation and travelling, we may have more thinking about that感觉这点论述的有些乱.这段论点是什么？我看有两个，一个是先说的我们不需要太多钱，钱不是很重要
所以选择旅游，第二个是后面说旅行给我思考的空间，对吗？如果要说钱并不是最重要的事梦想等才是，那么几个句子的表述顺序要调整下哈.

Sofar, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is better to spend money ontraveling and vacation than to save money for the future. For (,for the ….) the vacation and travelling can refresh ourselves, give us more opportunities to think the real meaning of lives and alsofor the money is not so important.

只是我的一点看法，改的很多不对啊，胡改的地方你就无视我吧



另外，我觉得我们有相同的问题——论述时候逻辑欠佳，想一句说一句，有时候一段的论点不是很清晰。

一起加油！

polaris_jieUID: 2836796

5# missoulmate
没关系的，说得过也是对我有帮助的，谢谢！

polaris_jieUID: 2836796

6# potpourri
恩，谢谢，一起加油！

potpourriUID: 2834146

7# polaris_jie
不好意思呀，我的作文好像你还没有改哈？
嘻嘻，希望尽快看到你的指点哈！！

polaris_jieUID: 2836796

6月22日作业，请大家重重的拍！谢谢！
Over the recent decades, with the accelerating steps of development and improvement in economy and business, the communication is becoming increasingly important. Some people believe that in some cases that you can not say anything nice to someone, you should say nothing at all. However some others argue that we should always be frank, so if needed, we should point others’ fault directly. As far as I am concerned, both of the above attitudes are needed.
First of all, nowadays, with the benefit of popularization of phone and network, we connect with many more people than ever before. Thus, some of them we may just acquaint with, and to these people, we should only say something nice or nothing, because we do not know what the consequence will be if we say something improper. Take Ma Jiajue for example, he was the student of Yunnan University with lots of knowledge but he also killed all of his three roommates. The reason for that was just some words said by them hurt his heart. But if we want to have true friendship, we need to be frank to our close friends. Only in this way can we understand each other truly and in depth. The close friends know each other’s advantages and disadvantages well. And their words even not nice we regard as good suggestions or warm-hearted warnings instead of blames. So we usually thanks for the friends’ bad comments. In sum, we should be frank to our close friends while be cautious to the person about who we just know a little.
Furthermore, at different stages of dealing with one thing, we should have a choice between some words nice and frank. In my opinion, everything has two sides. One is good and the other is bad. When it comes to something I do disagree with, I usually firstly praise its advantages directly to get the trust of my opposites, and then point the disadvantages frankly with some suggestions to improve. Thus, the people who stand at my opposite will think just according to my logic. And therefore, we may come to a compromise. And sometimes, when we really can not figure out what the advantages are, we just should keep silent. If we start with pointing out the others’ faults, we will usually keep on doing that without thinking about their advantages and ourselves’ disadvantages. And finally we will get angry with each other. Thus the conflict will last.
With the reasons rendered above, we can safely draw the conclusion that we should make a smart choice among to say something nice, to say something frank and to be silent. To different people and in different situation, the choice should be different. And only in this way can we get along well with both strangers and familiars, and cope with all kinds of things successfully.

polaris_jieUID: 2836796

9# potpourri 上次看了bite man的修改版，觉得自己改不出来了，好吧，我再尽力改改看！谢谢你的修改！

potpourriUID: 2834146

恩， 那好吧~~要是有空帮我改下吧~没有就算啦~
加油复习！

polaris_jieUID: 2836796

6月24日作业，谢谢大家，我们一起努力:)
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time is better than a job with high salary but less vacation time.8

With the accelerating steps of development and improvement in economy and life condition, there is an increasing public concern on the issue that vocation and salary, which is more important? A fair portion of people insist that salary is most important for a job, because the more money you have, the happier you will be. However, some argue that the vacation time is more important. They believe that life is short, so we should try our best to enjoy ourselves. As far as I am concerned, the salary and vocation time are both important, but which is more important depends on situations.
When we are young, especially at the beginning for the first job, usually, we are full of inexhaustible energy and vigor. We always want to work harder and get promoted. So in this period of life, the salary is more important, because it is a standard to prove our achievement. Take the university graduate students for example, it is a tradition that they will get together ten years after the graduating, and the salaries of them will be the inevitable and critical topic. If you earn less money than others, you will be definitely shameful.
Later, when we grow order with more experience, we may put more emphasis on life condition. More people will understand the equation between money and happiness is absolutely wrong. And the vacation time of the job takes more attention. People are prone to spend more time with family and enjoying life. At this stage, the most have realized their dreams and satisfied by what they have achieved. Take Bill Gates for example, when young, he was crazy for the innovation of soft ware to earn money and prove his value. But now, he just does some charity and enjoys his life.
So far we can safely come to the conclusion that the salary and vacation time are both important for the job. And to different people at different ages, the importance varies. The young may be enthusiastic for the high salary to try their utmost to realize their dreams, while the older want more vacation time to enjoy life.

sunersunUID: 2734987

Over the recent decades, with the accelerating steps of development and improvement in economy and business, the（这里的communication没有特指，不用加the） communication is becoming increasingly important. Some people believe that in some cases that（that换成when） you cannot say anything nice to someone, you should say nothing at all. However some others argue that we should always be frank, so if needed, we should point（point 是不及物动词，加out） others’ fault directly. As far as I am concerned, both of the above attitudes are needed."
First of all, nowadays, with the benefit of popularization of phone and network, we connect with many more people than ever before. Thus, some of them we may just acquaint with, and to these people, we should only say something nice or nothing, because we do not know what the consequence will be if we say something improper. Take Ma Jiajue for example, he was the student of Yunnan University with lots of knowledge but he also killed all of his three roommates. The reason for that was just some words said by them hurt his heart（没有hurt one’s heart的说法吧，hurt one’s feeling 或者break one’ heart）. （下面的可以另分一段了）But if we want to have true friendship, we need to be frank to our close friends. Only in this way can we understand each other truly and in depth. The close friends know each other’s advantages and disadvantages well. And their words even not nice（插入语和主句好像要用逗号隔开吧） we regard as good suggestions or warm-hearted warnings instead of blames. So we usually thanks（语法错误，thank） for the friends’ bad comments. In sum, we should be frank to our close friends while be cautious to the person about who（whom） we just know a little.

Furthermore, at different stages of dealing with one thing, we should have a choice between some words nice and frank. In my opinion, everything has two sides（用那句every coin has two sides比较好）. One is good and the other is bad. When it comes to something I do disagree with, I usually firstly praise its advantages directly to get the trust of my opposites, and then point the disadvantages frankly with some suggestions to improve. Thus, the people who stand at my opposite will think just according to my logic. And therefore, we may come to a compromise. And sometimes, when we really cannot figure out what the advantages are, we just should keep silent. If we start with pointing out the（the删去） others’ faults, we will usually keep on doing that without thinking about their advantages and ourselves’ disadvantages. And finally we will get angry with each other. Thus the conflict will last.
With the reasons rendered above, we can safely draw the conclusion that we should make a smart choice among to say something nice, to say something frank and to be silent. To different people and in different situation, the choice should be different. And only in this way can we get along well with both strangers and familiars, and cope with all kinds of things successfully.
作者写的很好，绝对不是菜鸟，英语基础很好，是不是刚刚考了G啊，感觉很多地方有些G作文里的模板痕迹，呵呵，这些用在T上绝对没问题的

peggy890UID: 2812709

[With the accelerating steps of development and improvement in economy and life condition, there is an increasing public concern on the issue that vocation and salary, which is more important? A fair portion of people insist that salary is most important for a job, because the more money you have, the happier you will be. However, some argue that the vacation time is more important. They believe that life is short, so we should try our best to enjoy ourselves. As far as I am concerned, the salary and vocation time are both important, but which is more important（换成prior，避免在较短的间隔出现同样的important）depends on situations.
: p6 a; d6 n& i  S# v( VWhen we are young, especially at the beginning for the first job, usually, we are full of inexhaustible energy and vigor. We always want to work harder and get promoted. So in this period of life, the salary is more important, because it is a standard to prove（judge更有感觉~） our achievement. Take the university graduate students for example, it is a tradition that they will get together ten years after the graduating, and the salaries of them will be the inevitable and critical topic. If you earn less money than others, you will be definitely shameful.（be shameful有点奇怪。。。）
& N( z8 \- s, Z3 Q4 LLater, when we grow order with more experience, we may put more emphasis on life condition（condition建议改成quality）. More people will understand the equation between money and happiness is absolutely wrong. And the vacation time of the job takes more attention. People are prone to spend more time with family and enjoying life. At this stage, the most have realized their dreams and satisfied by what they have achieved. Take Bill Gates for example, when young, he was crazy for the innovation of soft ware to earn money and prove his value. But now, he just does some charity and enjoys his life. / j/ x3 C1 J: I" e0 O) c& O
So far we can safely come to the conclusion that the salary and vacation time are both important for the job. And to different people at different ages, the importance varies. The young may be enthusiastic for the high salary to try their utmost to realize their dreams, while the older want more vacation time to enjoy life.
全文很流畅，有理有据，用词也很不错~~看地出楼主水平很高哦~
希望能在单词的多样性上多加变化，更好哦~
加油~
PS:记得修改我的哦~O(∩_∩)O~
b] 13# polaris_jie