ISSUE208,ARGUMENT91,六人行小组7.28作业byD

killthegUID: 2862114

首先对抽出宝贵时间帮我改AW的同学表示感谢
希望改的时候侧重于逻辑错误，关于语法：比如词汇重复，句型简单或者句子长度问题的就不必费心了，我个人就是意思能表达明白足矣，因为短时间这些很难提高，如果意思表达不明，逻辑不正确，请狠狠的暴力的指出，并直接说出来，我不会介意，反而是感谢这些宝贵的意见，再次感谢

Issue No.208【六人行】by D

WORDS:409    TIME:00:55:00

According to statement, the author means that we could know about a attitude and interests from the way people look, dress, and act and of course so we can learn the society's ideas and values from the observing the appearance and behavior of the people. I totally agree with that for the following reasons.

When we contract with a person, most of us just could comment him by the appearance and the behave. Like when we meet a guy put on a sport wear ,we would say that maybe his hobbit is doing sports, and then we also could deduce a person like self-driving tour because he drive a SUV. Most people who are in western dress and leather shoes and easy in conversation and graceful in manner maybe the officers or white-collar who get a high education. Most stuffs is just like this set pattern. Because sometime judging people solely by their appearance is with reasons in some degrees.

The examples I give above is just about the individual, and we can also tell the characters of a country from what the people do. For example ,we could feel the different degrees of opening between east world and west world from the swim suit. The bikini which is acceptable generally in west countries seems not very popular in east countries, the Arab women even only can appear the eyes when they walk in the streets. Most traits of the east countries are introversion , conservatism, tolerance, and forbearance. Japanese always say sorry and thanks and bent to every guests they meet. And we can see that seldom in west countries. Different cultures create different behave in the world.

But the overall impression could not represent everything, One large group is consist of many little parts.  Just like the Einstein ,one of the greatest scientists in last century ,Most people would think that he is a elegant gentleman, but it seem that he put all his energy  into the researching and have no time to notice the appearance, The person who don't know him must not image that he is a scientist when meet him at first time. So we can say that there is particular cases doesn’t suit the statement.

To sum up, I can say that the statement really suit many situation, We can see the global character of one thing, But when we want to discover that deeper, we should learn the idea of one person.

Argument NO.91【六人行】by D


WORDS: 407          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2010-7-28 14:27:36

In this argument, the arguer advocates that the athletic should eat more vitamin N along with a fiber supplement to increase their endurance and  win more games, Although this argument seem reasonable at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceive.. The reason are state as follows.

In the first place, the arguer assumes that the professional athletes who are eat a lot of nuts higher level of endurance than those who do not, Although this is totally possible, the arguer offers no evidence to assumption. It is very likely that the athlete who always seems more stronger maybe have a better physique and put more time on training, and they just like eating nuts, so the nuts maybe doesn't make any effect at all. The arguer's reasoning is definitely flawed unless the arguer can convince me that these and other possible scenarios are unlikely,

In the second place, the arguer assumes that the athletes should eat the vitamin N and fiber supplements because it is the combination of them have a big effect. Nevertheless, there is no gurantee that it is necessarily the casen and the arguer does bit supply any evidence to confirm this assumption. It is quite possible that what make an important effect is the combination of the two things but not eat the them in sepatate way. To illustrate this point clearly, let us take a look at the following representative example, egg pie is made up of eggs and oil. the pie taste tasty, but we can the  raw egg at first and drink the oil at last. so without accounting for and ruling out  these and other alternative explanations, the arguer cannot  bolster the recommendation.

The last bu not the least important, even if evidence turn out to support for foregoing assumption, the arguer just amply assumes that when the athletes eat the nuts, they will get endurance and win the games. Neither any conclusion scientific evidence nor any anecdotal evidence is provide to affirm this assumption. It is reasonable to do doubt that whist the arguer assumes will not happen in reality, It is just possible that the games which the athletes take part in need explosive force and speed, the endurance is only one factors and also not the important one .So to reach the cited conclusion, the arguer must give more evidence.

To sum up ,the arguer need to gather more information about the effect of the nuts ,so we could concision that argument again.

Eileen312UID: 2648750

WORDS:409    TIME:00:55:00
[那我就侧重改逻辑了]
According to statement, the author means that we could know about a attitude and interests from the way people look, dress, and act and of course so we can learn the society's ideas and values from the observing the appearance and behavior of the people. I totally agree with that for the following reasons. [这段很流畅]

When we contract with a person, most of us just could comment him by the appearance and the behave. Like when we meet a guy put on a sport wear ,we would say that maybe his hobbit is doing sports, and then we also could deduce a person like self-driving tour because he drive a SUV. Most people who are in western dress and leather shoes and easy in conversation and graceful in manner maybe the officers or white-collar who get a high education[推出的the officers or white-collar who get a high education不是values or interest]. Most stuffs is just like this set pattern. Because sometime judging people solely by their appearance is with reasons in some degrees.+-[这段主要说了要外表和行为来认识一个人，但是没有着重突出原论中的attitudes(interest倒是说到了)]

The examples I give above is just about the individual, and we can also tell the characters of a country from what the people do[分部分和整体来讨论。很好！]. For example ,we could feel the different degrees of opening[只说opening,明显是汉语到英语的映射，ETS会看起来很费劲的] between east world and west world from the swim suit. The bikini which is acceptable generally in west countries seems not very popular in east countries, the Arab women even only can appear the eyes when they walk in the streets. Most traits of the east countries are introversion , conservatism, tolerance, and forbearance. Japanese always say sorry and thanks and bent to every guests they meet. And we can see that seldom in west countries. Different cultures create different behave in the world.[这一段例子很生动]

But the overall impression could not represent everything, One large group is consist of many little parts.  Just like the Einstein ,one of the greatest scientists in last century ,Most people would think that he is a elegant gentleman, but it seem that he put all his energy  into the researching and have no time to notice the appearance, The person who don't know him must not image that he is a scientist when meet him at first time. So we can say that there is particular cases doesn’t suit the statement.[这一段补充别人可能反驳的漏洞，很好]

To sum up, I can say that the statement really suit many situation, We can see the global character of one thing, But when we want to discover that deeper, we should learn the idea of one person.[这个结尾延伸得过远了]

[如果只看逻辑和内容，相当棒。但是chinglish的感觉过重，作为一个中国人我读起来很流畅，但是老外未必…]

Eileen312UID: 2648750

WORDS: 407          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2010-7-28 14:27:36

In this argument, the arguer advocates that the athletic should eat more vitamin N along with a fiber supplement to increase their endurance and  win more games, Although this argument seem reasonable at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceive.. The reason are state as follows.

In the first place, the arguer assumes that the professional athletes who are eat a lot of nuts higher level of endurance than those who do not, Although this is totally possible, the arguer offers no evidence to assumption. It is very likely that the athlete who always seems more stronger[stonger不等于more endurance] maybe have a better physique and put more time on training, and they just like eating nuts, so the nuts maybe doesn't make any effect at all. The arguer's reasoning is definitely flawed unless the arguer can convince me that these and other possible scenarios are unlikely,

In the second place, the arguer assumes that the athletes should eat the vitamin N and fiber supplements because it is the combination of them have a big effect. Nevertheless, there is no gurantee that it is necessarily the casen and the arguer does bit supply any evidence to confirm this assumption. It is quite possible that what make an important effect is the combination of the two things but not eat the them in sepatate way. To illustrate this point clearly, let us take a look at the following representative example, egg pie is made up of eggs and oil. the pie taste tasty, but we can the  raw egg at first and drink the oil at last[ETS老师看到这个例子会立马抵消掉broken English带来的不快O(∩_∩)O~]. so without accounting for and ruling out  these and other alternative explanations, the arguer cannot  bolster the recommendation.

The last bu not the least important, even if evidence turn out to support for foregoing assumption, the arguer just amply assumes that when the athletes eat the nuts, they will get endurance and win the games. Neither any conclusion scientific evidence nor any anecdotal evidence is provide to affirm this assumption. It is reasonable to do doubt that whist the arguer assumes will not happen in reality, It is just possible that the games which the athletes take part in need explosive force and speed, the endurance is only one factors and also not the important one .So to reach the cited conclusion, the arguer must give more evidence.

To sum up ,the arguer need to gather more information about the effect of the nuts ,so we could concision that argument again.[这里属于没时间了，阅卷老师会理解的]

[还是一样：逻辑和内容很赞！但是基本英语影响到了阅读，已经超出了ETS不在意的小错误的范围。在基础英语运用方面加把劲的话可以冲满分喔。。。]

killthegUID: 2862114

3# Eileen312

谢谢建议，（在暴力点更好了，对自己很无语= =！）语言其实自己也蛮纠结的，但无奈短时间作用不明显。不过听你说之后看来问题还蛮严重:mad: ，提高一点是一点，硬着头皮上了