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[作文] Joymoon作文特训练习 [复制链接]

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发表于 2011-9-2 15:40:03 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览




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92 20100213NA 版本2 Do you agree with the following statement? People holding different views cannot achieve success as a team.





Each people has his/her own perception. That people in a group hold different views is a usual existing appearance. Whether these differences lead to an failure of the executive of a team, in my opinion, it all depends. For several different conditions, we can not arrive at an simple general conclusion.

Firstly, one circumstance may be that the contradiction among the different views is irreconcilable, which hampers the progress of reaching a final feasible plan of action. In this circumstance, the differences among team members’ opinions indeed cannot achieve success. For example, I know one company whose board did not reach an agreement on the investing directions was forced to disperse its limit investment to several different fields and turned out interrupted due to the competition for its resource. There is also an management principle called Watch Law, which says, when a person has one watch, he/she could tell the time for sure and when he/she has two watches which indicate different times, the person would be puzzled and get lost in his/her arrangements. This Law is
applied to instruct the backwards of holding different views for a team’s determination that influences its success. Those circumstances are the failure cases of holding different views.


Secondly, another circumstance may be that several perspectives provided by team members present multiple respects of an problem. In this circumstance, creative inspiration is always apt to be lifted so as to achieve a unprecedented success. In this circumstance, possessing different views is an advantage for a team’s success. For example, the Samsung Company possesses an design center with its team members from diverse fields and qualifications who provide various suggestions for the team’s decisions. By pooling the diverse wisdoms from its design center, Samsung become an innovative leader in product designing in the world. Another example gives us an lesson that keeping back disagreements caused a loss. During the period of time that the Hewlett-Packard Company(HP) was busy merging the Compaq Companythe CEO of HP refused to receive from the leading group any opinion that diverges from the merger. She didn’t accept investigations support a different view until several months later when HP’s market share had already fallen seriously.

In sum, holding different views can either lead to the failure of a team or maintain the success of it. Whether to be a failure or a success depends on whether the difference is irreconcilable or reconcilable . The former may usually lead an unavoidable defeat as a team; the latter usually achieve a inspirational success as a team.
Studying English~
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发表于 2011-9-3 00:32:10 |只看该作者
阅毕,楼主的例子很丰富,写作思路应该用的是GRE的思路吧,学习了。极小的语法错误楼主要细心检查,例如是 an usual。
寻找TOEFL考友!!!

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板凳
发表于 2011-9-20 00:43:45 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 Joymoon0307 于 2011-9-20 00:44 编辑

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919 20100312NA Agree or disagree? If children want to do well in school, parents should limit the hours of watching TV programs or movies.



In order to make sure children do well in school, parents are make various of efforts. Some study together with their children at night, some send children to attend after school classes, others buy children nutrition that supply energy. Here comes another effort that parents limit the time of watching TV and movies. In my opinion, however, to keep children do well in school , parents need not limit the time of watching TV and movies.

First and foremost, TV programs and movies provide substantial information that good for children’s study. Of all children’s lessons, literature is the first to be benefited. Statistics show that by watching the movie Harry Porter, students of elementary schools in England improved their literature scores by 45% on average. What’s more, TV programs and movies involving elements of voyage, venture, history, music, and so on. These elements are all broaden the children’s knowledge of school lessons such as geology, history, and music.

Second, watching TV programs and movies is good for children’s spirit status, which is important for performing well on study. On the one hand, through the entertainment of watching TV or movies, children will be in a status that filled with relax ,happy, and energetic. When they come back to study in this status, they will do their homework more efficiency. On the other hand, many outstanding images in TV programs and movies can encourage children to be excellent persons. In this way, children will be eager to study hard on school lessons and to do well in school.

Admittedly, there are soap in some of the TV programs and movies, which is a waste of time to watch. However, that is not a feasible reason to trim the time of watching TV programs or movies. Even though children are not allowed to watching TV and movies, they can reach misleading information from books or websites. Therefore, we should develop children’s self-discipline that help them choose between good and bad rather than limit them. Furthermore, parents need not cut their own entertainment time for children. Maybe leave children study in a room where they will not be disturbed by the voice of TV and movies is a good idea.

On the whole, TV programs and movies bring to children more benefit than harm. It is no need for parents to limit the time of watching TV or movies in order to ensure children do well in school.

Studying English~

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地板
发表于 2011-9-20 11:17:42 |只看该作者
9月20日综合(TPO17)


The reading passage states that human activities has cause the number of birds decrease, and the this trend is likely to continue. The lecture, however, casts a doubt on the reading passage in three aspects.


First, the reading passage says that because birds' natural habitat will continue disappear as a result of human settlement, the number of birds will decline. While the lecture disagree with that. The lecture says that birds' habitat does not decrease. In stead, the birds' habitat have been better and larger. Urban citizen find that the number of birds such as pigeons and crows are increasing rather than decreasing. The number of some birds are shrunk, while the number of other birds are increasing. On a whole, the total number of birds are increasing.

Second, the reading passage says that as people populations expand, agricultural activities is increasing. The growth also result in the bird habitat be less. As a result, bird population in rural areas will continue to decline. The lecture is disagree with that. The lecture says that the Unite States have develop many new crops which produce more food per acre. Thus, it is no need to increase the agricultural area. Therefore, the bird populations will not decline because of agriculture.

Third, the reading lecture says that pesticides are another cause that make bird populations decline. The lecture says, however, what the reading lecture says is not true. The lecture states that there are two kinds of changes in anti-pest tasks. The first change is that new pesticides which do not harm birds are developed. The second change is that pesticides resistance crops are developed so that birds will not be harm by pesticides. Therefore, the number of birds will not decrease because of pesticides.
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发表于 2011-9-20 14:34:28 |只看该作者
这是我占座的9月19号作文,谢谢批改哈~
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... xtra=#pid1775494712
zhuiny

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发表于 2011-9-20 14:35:30 |只看该作者

9月19日 独立 revised by pumpkinbrain

本帖最后由 pumpkinbrain 于 2011-9-20 19:10 编辑


In order to make sure children do well in school, parents are make various of efforts. Some study together with their children at night, some send children to attend after school classes, and others(the others/some) buy children nutrition that supply(supplies) energy. Here comes another effort that parents limit the time of watching TV and movies. In my opinion, however, to keep children doing well in school, parents need not limit the time of watching TV and movies.
First and foremost, TV programs and movies provide substantial information that is good for children’s study. Of all children’s lessons, literature is the first to be benefited. Statistics show that by watching the movie Harry Porter, students of elementary schools in England improved their literature scores by 45% on average. What’s more, TV programs and movies involving elements of voyage, venture, history, music, and so on. These elements are all broaden the children’s knowledge of school lessons such as geology, history, and music.(elements做主语有点怪)
Second, watching TV programs and movies is good for children’s spirit status, which is important for performing well on study. On the one hand, through the entertainment of watching TV or movies, children will be in a status that filled with relax, happy (happiness), and energetic (energy). When they come back to study in this status, they will do their homework more efficiency (efficiently). On the other hand, many outstanding images in TV programs and movies can encourage children to be excellent persons (people). In this way, children will be eager to study hard on school lessons and to do well in school.
Admittedly, there are soaps in some of the TV programs and movies, which it is a waste of time to watch. However, that is not a feasible reason to trim the time of watching TV programs or movies. Even though (if) children are not allowed to watching TV and movies, they can reach misleading information from books or websites. Therefore, we should develop children’s self-discipline that help them choose between good and bad rather than limit them. Furthermore, parents need not cut their own entertainment time for children. Maybe leave (leaving) children studying in a room where they will not be disturbed by the voice of TV and movies is a good idea.
On the whole, TV programs and movies bring to children more benefits than harm. It (There) is no need for parents to limit the time of watching TV or movies in order to ensure children doing well in school.
文章思路很好,用词也很丰富,受益良多~~~就是有很多语法错误,仔细检查是可以避免的,加油~
zhuiny

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发表于 2011-9-21 15:16:11 |只看该作者
4# Joymoon0307

独立和综合都改好了~
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发表于 2011-9-21 19:19:17 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 Joymoon0307 于 2011-9-21 19:23 编辑

1.
920日独立

20100306NA Some people believe that people should follow their ambitious dreams and goals even they are not realistic; others believe that people should focus on achieving realistic goals. What’s your opinion and why? Use specific reasons to support your answer.' S  b:Different people have different opinions on what level of goals should people focus on. In my point of view, I approve focusing on achieving realistic goals.

Realistic goals are the base on which we take immediate actions, which are the necessary steps on the road to success, while unrealistic ambitious dreams are helpless in this sense. As the proverb goes, the highest eminence is to be gained step by step. Numerous facts show that many successful persons are those who used to focus on goals that are achievable for them. They achieve the realistic goals they focus on, and then go on to reap the a bigger one which is also achievable until a great success that they could never expected. Take a representative of many business men for example. Steve Paul Jobs never dreamed of so great a company as the current Apple Company when he started to run a company. He only focus on what he was interested in and good at, in another words, what he can achieve as a realistic goal. He was realizing his great career step by step just following the most achievable realistic goals, and it turned out to be the great Apple Company.

An advantage of focusing on realistic goals is the short return cycle compare to following ambitious goals. Realistic goals are easy to reach while the ambitious goals are complex, by inference, ambitious goals require a longer term return than realistic goals. Return cycle is an important factor we should take into consideration when we my a decision. Such as in the business field, a short return cycle means more capital turnover, which promises more profits. On the contrary, a longer return cycle may indicates more profit loss.

Focusing on realistic goals is more safein another words, means less risks. As for the realistic goals, maybe we go forward for 10 steps and gain the fruit of successbut as for the ambitious goals, we have to go forward ten times of 10 steps without break before we got rewarding. In the tough way of reaching ambitious goals, too many variations imply various risks. If we failed to set on any step in the tough way, all our efforts did before are useless. As a result, we would get nothing. Contrarily, making less effort for every small gain according to realistic goals is cost-efficient. Take two of my friends Miss A and Mr. B for example. Years ago, they both decided to study for a graduate degree after university, but set different goals. Miss A focused on a graduate school that is easy to entrance, while Mr. B chose to chasing a university which is the best but for him is difficult to enter. After one year’s preparation, Miss A became a graduate student as she had expected, while Mr. B, though prepare much more than Miss A, failed to enter the best school he had focused on. Now Miss A has got a pleasant job with good salary by her graduate degree, but Mr. B still holds a bachelor’s degree to apply for work.


In a word, I believe that people should focus on achieving realistic goals.
Studying English~

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发表于 2011-9-21 20:14:18 |只看该作者
好长的一篇啊~~修改稿见附件。如果有修改不当的地方还请原谅
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发表于 2011-10-12 11:20:48 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 Joymoon0307 于 2011-10-12 16:29 编辑

网络卡,发重复了。
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发表于 2011-10-12 11:21:00 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 Joymoon0307 于 2011-10-12 16:30 编辑

网络卡,发重复了。
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发表于 2011-10-12 11:21:12 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 Joymoon0307 于 2011-10-12 11:27 编辑

独立题目:10月12日 20100522NA Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? Working at home using computers or telephones is better than workingin the office.

正文:
I strongly disagree with the statement that working at home through computers or telephones is better than working in the office. I hold this view because of several reasons that illustrate working at company brings more benefits to a person and his/her tasks.

First and foremost, in my opinion, working in the office takes along more efficiency and proficiency than working at home. It is apparent that we always would get every kind of tiny things about daily life if we staying at home. These tiny things would interrupt our working. For example, we may answer a call by one of our best friends that she invites us come with her and go shopping. If we hear the relax activity of going shopping, we may at the most time thinking about the shopping. So we could not pay all our attention on the work we should do any more. That surely will reduce our efficiency and proficiency of doing work.

In addition to the efficiency and proficiency, working at home solely with computers or telephones also will do harm for our relationship with our workmates. As we all know, working at office not only means doing the tasks to a person, but also means a kind of social communication with others. The latter sense of working at office is especially important for a person. We work with our working partners, talking about everyday news with our working partners, chatting about our personal lives with our working partners occasionally, and even making close friends with our working partners. We feel ourselves through face-to-face communicate with persons and gain a feeling of happiness. But if we work at home solely through computers or telephones, we would lose this kind of happiness.

What's more, working at home with computers or telephones cannot solve all the problems that happened in the company. For example, a doctor cannot take an operation through the computers or through telephones,——at least nowadays, this kind of operation can hardly be taken. Only by face-to-face observe can a doctor make direct decision about how to process the operation every second.

To sum up, I don't think that working at home via computers or telephones is good. I think working at company is better. Working at company can achieve more efficiency and proficiency, can let us communicate with our working partners and gain happiness, and can ensure us easily handle things and problems more directly.
Studying English~

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发表于 2011-10-12 16:27:04 |只看该作者
10月12日 综合写作: TPO9

In the reading material, the author says that fuel-cell engines are better than the internal-combustion engines because of three reasons. Although the professor in the lecture admits that when fuel-cell is in using, the only by-product of hydrogen-based fuel-cell engines is water, she thinks that the using of fuel-cell engines is not a good solution of the replacement of current internal-combustion.

Firstly, the reading material says that oil which is used by internal-combustion engines will be run out of, but the hydrogen used for fuel-cell engines cannot easily be depleted. So hydrogen based fuel-cell engines is better than the internal-combustion engines. While the professor casts doubt on this conclusion by pointing out that it is not easy to produce and store hydrogen. She says that the process of gaining pure liquid state of hydrogen is a difficult artificial task, and producing and storing hydrogen needs a very low temperature which is not easy to achieve.

Secondly, the author in the reading material says that using hydrogen base fuel-cell engines will solve many of the current pollution problems. However, the professor in the lecture says that process of producing pure hydrogen leads to pollution. She explains that in order to gain the pure hydrogen, people should burn corn or oil which cause pollution.

Thirdly, the author of the reading material holds the view that using fuel-cell is more economically competitive than using the internal-combustion. But the professor in the listening material disagrees with that view by pointing it that using the fuel-cell needs the rare materials that are very expensive.

In sum, the professor in the listening material does not agree with the author of the reading material on the whole. The professor in the listening material thinks fuel-cell engines are not good replacements of the internal-combustion engines, just opposing what the reading material thinks.
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发表于 2011-10-14 11:59:30 |只看该作者
I strongly disagree with the statement that working at home through computers or telephones is better than working in the office. I hold this view because of several reasons that illustrate working at company brings more benefits to a person and his/her tasks.
7 {; d, Z$ L) W0 a; l2 D
First and foremost, in my opinion, working in the office takes along more efficiency and proficiency(人为主语才能精通吧?) than working at home. It is apparent that we always would get every kind of tiny things about daily life if we staying at home. These tiny things would interrupt our working. For example, we may answer a call by one of our best friends who that she invites us come with her and go shopping. Once If we hear the relaxing activity of going shopping, we may at the most time thinking about the shopping. So we could not pay all our attention on the work we should do any more. That surely will reduce our efficiency and proficiency in of doing work./ B; M; Y5 o* {+ W

In addition to the efficiency and proficiency, working at home solely with computers or telephones also will do harm for our relationship with our workmates. As we all know, working at office doesn’t not only means doing the tasks to a person, but also means a kind of social communication with others. The latter sense of working at office is especially important for a person an individual. We work with our working partners, talking about everyday news with our working partners, chatting about our personal lives with our colleagues working partners occasionally, and even making close friends with our working partners. We feel ourselves through face-to-face communicatione with persons and gain a feeling of happiness. But if we work at home solely through computers or telephones, we would lose this kind of happiness. & l' q% Y. R5 t
. |- X# |5 ~$ _5 o! o+ r8 K  T6 g
What's more, working at home with computers or telephones cannot solve all the problems that happened in the company. For example, a doctor cannot take an operation through the computers or through telephones,——at least nowadays., Tthis kind of operation can hardly be taken. Only by face-to-face observatione can a doctor make direct decision about how to process the operation every second.

To sum up, I don't think that working at home via computers or telephones is good. I think working at company is better. Working at company can achieve more efficiency and proficiency, can let us communicate with our working partners and gain happiness, and can ensure us more easily handle things and problems more directly.

不知道 怎么 上传附件呢 先贴给你吧 ,教教我怎么上传呢

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发表于 2011-10-19 21:52:13 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 Joymoon0307 于 2011-10-19 22:15 编辑

10月19日独立:

1019 20100821NA Some people say we should never be impolite to another person. Do youagree or disagree?




正文:


I strongly agree with that we should never be impolite to another person. I hold this view because of a couple of reasons that contains the aspects of the way to success, the class of a person, and the results of solving problems.

First and foremost, be impolite to others would set obstacles on our way to success. For example, if we were impolite to our team partners, they would not be so cooperative with us. In this case, we would have difficulty in finishing our task efficiency. Another example is that, if we were impolite to our employees when we were employer, our employees would not put all their patience, energy and knowledge to our company, and that case would lead to the decline of the company's productivity and productive quality and ultimately lead to the overall failure of the company's business.

In addition to the obstacles that the impoliteness brings along, the level of a person also will be descended by impoliteness. It is no doubt that people often consider those people who show impolite attitude to others as belonging to a low level and view the ones who suggest polite to others as belonging to a high level. For example, a high-quality person seldom says something dirty to others even though he/she has suffered something impolite from those people. While a criminal usually says dirty words toward others to express his/her resent to the society.

What's more, impoliteness can not solve any problems but only will make things worse. It goes without saying that we behavior impoliteness usually because that we come across some problems. But could the impoliteness behaviors and attitudes toward others solve the problem we face? I think the answer is no. For instance, one day, I saw a girl be run into by a man and before the man said a word, the girl shouted at the man impolitely. The man, at first seemed to be about to apologizing, but then shouted at the girl, too. At last, they quarreled for quite a long time. The problem at first could have been solved easily by a simple apologize, however, ultimately ended up with a severely quarrel which were an even bigger trouble.

To sum up, taking all the factors mentioned above into consideration, I safely come to the conclusion that we should never be impolite to others. Being impoliteness to others will only make us get more difficulties to success, descent our level, and even make things worse.
Studying English~

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