Issue52 同主题，请帮忙改改，留链接，回拍：）

bcomerUID：182621

Issue 52
Education encourages students to question and criticize, and therefore does little to promote social harmony.

教育鼓励学生们提出问题和进行批判，所以无助于促进社会的和谐

提纲：
1 同意第一句：教育鼓励学生们提出问题和进行批判，不同意：所以无助于促进社会的和谐。
2 学生们提出问题和进行批判有助于促进社会的和谐
3 教育除鼓励学生们提出问题和进行批判外，在其他方面也有助于促进社会的和谐
4 仔细看西藏的例子，我们会发现教育的确有助于促进社会的和谐
5 结论

Due to my own experiences, I know the very importance of the suspicion and question, from hundreds of the stories in the history taught by my teachers in the fifteen years’ education. Thus made me completely agree with the speaker’s first statement that education encourages us to question and criticize. However, in my point of view, I could hardly stand on the same side with him about his conclusion only according to the statement mentioned above.

What’s the social harmony? As far as I see, the social harmony is a special atmosphere filled with justice, logic, and nous, which can make the society well steadily developed. Deep down, the question and criticize from students can not inhabit the social harmony, but may greatly promote social concord to some extent. Take the great astronomer, Galileo for example. With the impulse of the incredulous spirit, Galileo shoot off his famous idea, “the sun center theory”, in that era, when the mainstream and nearly most of the civilians deeply believed that the earth is the center of the universe. It seems that he unsettle the society on the surface aspect, and made some of good volunteers suffer the adversity. Yet, from the profound side, we will find that just due to his great effort and spirit of questioning and criticizing, the society improves quickly, and then goes more towards to the harmony. The same is true in nowadays. Some of the advanced youths, often doubt the laws which were full of holes. A few bad people commit crimes using the holes of the law based on their words, which made the society unsteady. However, if we can see it in a long run, we could find that it is good for the law to be perfect, and good for us to construct a harmony world. Similarly, the students’ question and criticize have a good effort on promoting the social harmony.

In addition, the education can not only make the students to question and criticize, but also can play some other important roles which is good at the social harmony. On the one hand, the education gives us a high quality of thought, some reasonable and logic thinking, which made us, in the basic lay, mentality protect the harmony of the society. On the other hand, the education engages us with scientific technology and the ability for us to live which to some degree eliminates a few unsteady factors on earth, making the society more concord.

Last but not least, if we take a look at the great affairs happened recently about the conflicts between our country and some religion organizations in Tibet province; we would know the importance of the education more insightful. They can not get along with each other just because of the differences in the culture field.

To sum up, I think the education is very important, so is the social harmony. They are not the two sides of one corn, which can not appear at the same time. They could coexists and promote together, finally made the society much better.


请帮忙看看，谢谢：）

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-27 at 13:28 ]

11yvetteUID：2102418

Due to my own experiences, I know the very importance of the suspicion and question, from hundreds of the stories in the history taught by my teachers in the fifteen years’ education. Thus made me completely agree with the speaker’s first statement that education encourages us to question and criticize. However, in my point of view, I could hardly stand on the same side with him about his [再加个her吧,这样既增加了字数,也不会让人家说不平等了,^_^] conclusion only according to the statement mentioned above.

What’s the social harmony? As far as I see, the social harmony is a special atmosphere filled with justice, logic, and nous, which can make the society well steadily developed. [这句的定义很好] Deep down, the question and criticize from students can not inhabit the social harmony, but may greatly promote social concord to some extent. Take the great astronomer, Galileo for example. With the impulse of the incredulous spirit, Galileo shoot off his famous idea, “the sun center theory"[这个不是哥白尼吗? Copernicus], in that era, when the mainstream and nearly most of the civilians deeply believed that the earth is the center of the universe. It seems that he unsettled the society on the surface aspect, and made some of good volunteers suffer the adversity. Yet, from the profound side, we will find that just due to his great effort and spirit of questioning and criticizing, the society improves quickly, and then goes more towards to the harmony. The same is true in nowadays. Some of the advanced youths, often doubt the laws which were [are] full of holes. A few bad people commit crimes using the holes of the law based on their words, which made the society unsteady. However, if we can see it in a long run, we could find that it is good for the law to be perfect, and good for us to construct a harmony world. Similarly, the students’ question and criticize have a good effort on promoting the social harmony.觉得第一个例子比较能说明问题,相对来说,第二个例子好像有点乏力

In addition, the education can not only make the students to question and criticize, but also can play some other important roles which is good at the social harmony. [分论点提得明确] On the one hand, the education gives us a high quality of thought, some reasonable and logic thinking, which made us, in the basic lay, mentality protect the harmony of the society. On the other hand, the education engages us with scientific technology and the ability for us to live which to some degree eliminates a few unsteady factors on earth, making the society more concord.这段阐述得很有条理啊,没什么冗余的话,而且可以不用例子,真好

Last but not least, if we take a look at the great affairs happened recently about the conflicts between our country and some religion organizations in Tibet province; we would know the importance of the education more insightful. They can not get along with each other just because of the differences in the culture field.这一段写得比较急吧,感觉没有把分论点提出来,至少不是很明确,而且例子也没有说详细,让人比较费解的

To sum up, I think the education is very important, so is the social harmony. They are not the two sides of one corn [coin] , which can not appear at the same time. They could coexists and promote together, finally made the society much better.

整篇文章用词语句方面都挺流畅,挺好的
条理也不错,如果第四段能得到充分展开,想必是一篇很好的文章了

这个是我的同主题
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D2

bcomerUID：182621

谢谢11yvette，努力改正，这就去看你的同主题：）

bcomerUID：182621

han~~~

这是我这3个月来的第一篇，大家帮忙看看吧……

UP：）:)

bcomerUID：182621

han~

Chloroplast923UID：207486

Due to my own experiences我不确定这是否可数名词, I know the very importance of the suspicion and question, from hundreds of the stories in the history taught by my teachers in the fifteen years’ education. Thus made me completely agree with the speaker’s first statement that education encourages us to question and criticize. However, in my point of view, I could hardly stand on the same side with him about his conclusion only according to the statement mentioned above.

What’s the可省略 social harmony? As far as I see, the同上 social harmony is a special atmosphere filled with justice, logic, and nous, which can make the society well steadily developed. Deep down, the question and criticize from students can not inhabit the social harmony, but may greatly promote social concord to some extent复数. Take the great astronomer, Galileo for example个人觉得这个例子有些牵强,科技发展与社会和谐没有明显的因果关系吧. With the impulse of the incredulous spirit, Galileo shoot off his famous idea, “the sun center theory”, in that era, when the mainstream and nearly most of the civilians deeply believed that the earth is the center of the universe. It seems that he unsettle the society on the surface aspect, and made some of good volunteers suffer the adversity. Yet, from the profound side, we will find that just due to his great effort and spirit of questioning and criticizing, the society improves quickly, and then goes more towards to the harmony. The same is true in nowadays. Some of the advanced youths有点怪, often doubt the laws which were full of有些极端 holes. A few bad people commit crimes using the holes of the law based on their words, which made the society unsteady. However, if we can see it in a long run, we could find that it是指利用法律漏洞犯罪吗?怎么能说是好的呢?? is good for the law to be perfect, and good for us to construct a harmony world. Similarly, the students’ question and criticize have a good effort on promoting the social harmony.两个例子都没提到学生

In addition, the education can not only make the students to question and criticize, but also can play some other important roles which is are good at the social harmony. On the去掉 one hand, the education gives us a high quality of thought, some reasonable and logic thinking, which made us, in the basic lay, mentality该用副词 protect the harmony of the society. On the other hand, the education engages us with scientific technology and the ability for us to live which to some degree eliminates a few unsteady factors改为factors lead to unsteady会好点 on earth, making the society more concord用形容词.

Last but not least, if we take a look at the great affairs happened recently about the conflicts between our country and some religion organizations in Tibet province; we would know the importance of the education more insightful. They can not get along with each other just because of the differences in the culture field.再展开一下吧

To sum up, I think the education is very important, so is the social harmony题目不是要论证社会和谐重不重要. They are not the two sides of one corn, which can not appear at the same time. They could coexists用原型 and promote被动语态 together, finally made the society much better.

整篇文章不够匀称,有点头重脚轻.
下笔前要更认真地审题 ( 这也是前几天人家说我的~~  :p  )

这是拙作,请来拍拍https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... type%26typeid%3D103

[ Last edited by Chloroplast923 on 2005-7-28 at 12:27 ]

bcomerUID：182621

3x

可你给我的链接不能用，麻烦在重新链接一下你的作文，好吗？：）