ISSUE50 没有限时，希望斑竹也能给指点迷津

d_messiahUID：177468

今天又没限时，写的字数多了，言多必失。
大家有空的帮着拍拍
-------题目--------
Issue 50 in order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach.
-------提纲--------
首段，引出话题，给出观点

B1，说明高等教育的首要目的（学会把知识用到实际），能否达到这个首要目的是评价高等教育的标准之一
B2，要达到这个目的，需要教员们的指导和帮助，以商业为例说明题目给的走出校园的意义。不幸的是，很多毕业生现在不能立即进入角色，故要想提高教育水平，应该。。。。。。
B3，对于基础学科，首要目的没变，但要求教员能够掌握其他学科知识
B4，基础学科教员的“课余”时间应该搞研究，而下到社会会减少教学时间，相反，实际的学科，课余时间应该满足社会的最现实需要，走进社会不失为合理的

尾段，总结

-------正文--------

While in society, there is an expect that at the college and university level, the quality of instruction should boost, an notion that all faculty should be required to take part time jobs, which are outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach in school., comes into sight. Considering the main objective of the advanced education such a suggestion has its merit for some academic realms. Nevertheless, for other academic fields, especially those basic subjects, it is of no need. In addition, in my viewpoint, for these fundamental subjects the most efficient way to improve the quality of instruction will be to require those faculties to learn some knowledge of other subjects.
       
What is the main objective of the advanced education? In my point, such a question must be given a relatively appropriate answer before discussing whether all faculties of a college and a university should go out of the campus. As advanced education, it is not only pouring knowledge into students that the objective is, but it is to attain a goal that the graduated can make what they have learned in school into practice after their gradating. And whether such an objective can be attained should be a standard to evaluate the quality of the education of the college and university.

How can such an objective be attained? It is the responsibility of the faculty to guide the students or help them to know how to put the knowledge into action. For instance, in the field of business, some graduates will sit in the offices of some companies, and they must transform the knowledge learned in school to the profit. If faculty of the business can take jobs in society, they can bring some practical problems into the class, and to some extents can make the students consider such problems which they will encounter in future, then quest for the appropriate solution to these problems. Unfortunately, nowadays, a myriad of graduates cannot get into their positions of the companies. Hence, only when the faculty can make students know how to transform the knowledge on the books into the practice, the advance education can accomplish its true objective. And maybe the requirement that faculty spend time out of the academic field is a feasible and an efficient measured to help faculty to direct and teach the students to learn this transformation.

However, for some basic subjects, such suggestion would have no merit, although the objective of advanced education discussed above is unchanged. In fact, for these basic subjects, “put the knowledge into practice” means that the graduates can make contribution to other fields which are more closed to the practice. Take Mathematics as an example to illustrate the point. As we all known, Mathematics is the basic of many science and social subjects, including the business talked about above. It is commonsense that in business, sometimes it needs to do some analysis and forecasting, when statistics is the necessary condition. And it is no doubt that if a student whose major is mathematics knows some knowledge of business, he/she will work out some solution to the business’s analysis and forecasting more quickly, or saying at least he/she can communicate with businessman more commodiously. What is required is not only the students own work to learn some knowledge of other fields, but also the faculties’ responsibility to teach the students to learn such knowledge or direct them how to get the knowledge. Were it not for the faculties themselves to learn this knowledge, it would be unreliable to expect that the students can get some direction from teachers.

Additionally, to require these faculties who teach the basic subjects to work out of the campus will take up most of their time. For these faculties, the work, apart from teaching, is to do some researches, work out some new theories or some new technologies. The working outside the academic has little business on such mission, and the total time for these teachers is limited. Therefore, if they spend much of the limited time to work out of the campus, the time spent on teaching will diminish as a result. Then what the consequence of the instruction will be is clear. On the contrary, to those fields which are more closed to the practice, the faculties should spend the time not spent on teaching, to meet the up-to-date developing trends of the society. In a sense, while involving into the society, they can learn what the society need in the present.

Based on the discussion above, what I want to state is clear. It is true that faculty of some subjects should work out of the academic world because they can torch the most current problems and bring some fresh and practical problems into the class, notwithstanding, it is not necessary for “all”. In a word, all my position is due to the main objective of the advanced education, that make the graduates can handle the tools learned in school to use in the practice.   [837words]

这次的每段TS又是不都在第一句

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-27 at 20:22 ]

d_messiahUID：177468

自己UP
给链必认真回拍

d_messiahUID：177468

走过的随便扔两句啊

d_messiahUID：177468

总体上给点儿结构或者句子上的意见也是感恩不尽的

chengenhuiUID：200271

While in society, there is an expect that at the college and university level, the quality of instruction should boost, an notion that all faculty should be required to take part time jobs, which are outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach in school., comes into sight. Considering the main objective of the advanced education such a suggestion has its merit for some academic realms. Nevertheless, for other academic fields, especially those basic subjects, it is of no need. In addition, in my viewpoint, for these fundamental subjects the most efficient way to improve the quality of instruction will be to require those faculties to learn some knowledge of other subjects.
        
What is the main objective of the advanced education高等教育是这样翻译么？我不确定? In my point, such a question must be given toa relatively appropriate answer before discussing whether all faculties of a college andor a university should go out of the campus. As advanced education, it is not only pouring knowledge into students that the objective is, but it is to attain a goal that the graduated can make what they have learned in school into practice after their gradating. 这句话感觉写的比较罗嗦，楼主可以考虑精简一下And whether such an objective can be attained should be a standard to evaluate the quality of the education education quality 这里连用两个of，感觉有点变扭of the college and university.

How can such an objective be attained?设问句是否用了多了点，感觉用一下下差不多，多用效果就难说了 It is the responsibility of the faculty to guide the students or help them to know how to put the knowledge into action. For instance, in the field of business, some graduates will sit in the offices of some companies, and they must transform the knowledge learned in school to the profit. If faculty of the business can take jobs in society, they can bring some practical problems into the class, and to some extents can make the students consider such problems which they will encounter in future, then quest for the appropriate solution to these problems. Unfortunately, nowadays, a myriad of graduates cannot get into their positions of the companies. Hence, only when the faculty can make students know how to transform the knowledge on the books into the practice, the advance education can accomplish its true objective.这句话only when 用的有点过于绝对了吧 And maybe the requirement that faculty spend time out of the academic field is a feasible and an efficient measuredmeasure to help faculty to direct and teach 这两个动词感觉重复了，用一个就行了the students to learn this transformation.

However, for some basic subjects, such suggestion would have no merit, although the objective of advanced education discussed above is unchanged. In fact, for these basic subjects, “put the knowledge into practice” means that the graduates can make contribution to other fields which are more closed to the practice. Take Mathematics as an example to illustrate the point. As we all known, Mathematics is the basic of many science and social subjects, including the business talked about above. It is commonsense that in business, sometimes it needs to do some analysis and forecasting, when statistics is the necessary condition. And it is no doubt that if a student whose major is mathematics knows some knowledge of business, he/she will work out some solution to the business’s analysis and forecasting more quickly, or saying at least he/she can communicate with businessman more commodiously. What is required is not only the students own work to learn some knowledge of other fields, but also the faculties’ responsibility to teach the students to learn such knowledge or direct them how to get the knowledge. Were it not for the faculties themselves to learn this knowledge, it would be unreliable to expect that the students can get some direction from teachers.这段的举例有点罗索，而且重点不明，至少我没有看出举例和你的Ts的密切关系

Additionally, to require these faculties who teach the basic subjects to work out of the campus will take up most of their time. For these faculties, the work, apart from teaching, is to do some researches, work out some new theories or some new technologies. The working outside the academic has little business on such mission, and the total time for these teachers is limited. Therefore, if they spend much of the limited time to work out of the campus, the time spent on teaching will diminish as a result. Then what the consequence of the instruction will be is clear. On the contrary, to those fields which are more closed to the practice, the faculties should spend the time not spent on teaching, to meet the up-to-date developing trends of the society. In a sense, while involving into the society, they can learn what the society need in the present.

Based on the discussion above, what I want to state is clear. It is true that faculty of some subjects should work out of the academic world because they can torch the most current problems and bring some fresh and practical problems into the class, notwithstanding, it is not necessary for “all”. In a word, all my position is due to the main objective of the advanced education, that make the graduates can handle the tools learned in school to use in the practice.  

文章好像写的长了点，可以考虑精简一下：） 837words

Chloroplast923UID：207486

While in society, there is an expect that at the college and university level, 应该加个where之类的吧the quality of instruction should boost被动语态, an notion that all faculty should be required to take part time jobs, which are outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach in school., comes into sight.整句话结构有问题,因有两个谓语 Considering the main objective of  the advanced education such a suggestion has its merit for some academic realms. Nevertheless, for other academic fields, especially those basic subjects, it is of no need有点怪? In addition, in my viewpoint, for these fundamental subjects the most efficient way to improve the quality of instruction will be to require those faculties to learn some knowledge of other subjects.
        
What is the main objective of the advanced education? In my point, such a question must be given a relatively appropriate answer before discussing whether all faculties of a college and a university should go out of the campus. As advanced education, it is not only pouring knowledge into students that the objective is这句的语法有没有问题啊?, but it is to attain a goal that the graduated拼写错 can make what they have learned in school into practice after their gradating. And whether such an objective can be attained should be a standard one of the standards好点 to evaluate the quality of the education of the college and university.

How can such an objective be attained? It is the responsibility of the faculty to guide the students or help them to know how to put the knowledge into action. For instance, in the field of business, some graduates will sit in the offices of some companies, and they must transform the knowledge learned in school to the profit. If faculty of the business can take jobs in society, they can bring some practical problems into the class, and to some extents can make the students consider such problems which they will encounter in future, then quest for the appropriate solution to these problems. Unfortunately,in nowadays, a myriad of graduates cannot get into their positions of the companies. Hence, only when the faculty can make students know how to transform the knowledge on the books into the去掉 practice, the advance education can accomplish its true objective. And maybe the requirement that faculty spend time out of the academic field is a feasible and an efficient measured to help faculty to direct and teach the students to learn this transformation.

However, for some basic subjects, such suggestion would have no merit, although the objective of advanced education discussed above is unchanged. In fact, for these basic subjects, “put the knowledge into practice” means that the graduates can make contribution to other fields which are more closed to the practice. Take Mathematics as an example to illustrate the point. As we all known, Mathematics is the basic of many science and social subjects, including the business talked about above. It is commonsense that in business, sometimes it needs to do some analysis and forecasting, when statistics is the necessary condition. And it is no doubt that if a student whose major is mathematics knows some knowledge of business, he/she will work out some solution to the business’s analysis and forecasting more quickly, or saying at least he/she can communicate with businessman more commodiously. What is required is not only the students own work to learn some knowledge of other fields, but also the faculties’ responsibility to teach the students to learn such knowledge or direct them how to get the knowledge. Were it not for the faculties themselves to learn this knowledge, it would be unreliable to expect that the students can get some direction from teachers.

Additionally, to require these faculties who teach the basic subjects to work out of the campus will take up most of their time理据不充分. For these faculties, the work, apart from teaching, is to do some researches, work out some new theories or some new technologies. The working outside the academic has little business on such mission, and the total time for these teachers is limited. Therefore, if they spend much of the limited time to work out of the campus, the time spent on teaching will diminish as a result. Then what the consequence of the instruction will be is clear. On the contrary, to those fields which are more closed to the practice, the faculties should spend the time not spent on teaching, to meet the up-to-date developing trends of the society. In a sense, while involving into the society, they can learn what the society need in the present.

Based on the discussion above, what I want to state is clear. It is true that faculty of some subjects should work out of the academic world because they can torch the most current problems and bring some fresh and practical problems into the class, notwithstanding, it is not necessary for “all”. In a word, all my position is due to the main objective of the advanced education, that make the graduates can handle the tools learned in school to use in the practice.  

总的来说,条理还可以.
但是句子结构的功底有点欠缺,而且有不少拼写,时态,单复数的错误.(以上没有都列举出来)

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... type%26typeid%3D103

[ Last edited by Chloroplast923 on 2005-7-28 at 08:26 ]

d_messiahUID：177468

TO :Chloroplast923
谢谢你的修改，我也感到自己的功底太差，没多少时间了，考虑延期中
关于你的几处修改，我有些不明白

1）While in society, there is an expect that at the college and university level, 应该加个where之类的吧the quality of instruction should boost被动语态, an notion that all faculty should be required to take part time jobs, which are outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach in school., comes into sight.整句话结构有问题,因有两个谓语

这句话，我是想说随着社会对高等教育教学水平需要提高的希望，一种观点“.....”进入了人们的视野。是有两个谓语，一个是there is 的i ,一个就是comes，不过，第一个词while是连词吧？还有，那个加where我也不太清楚，这个句子的状语不就是an expect that at the college and university level吗？他们作的expect德同谓语。希望能赐教

2）it is not only pouring knowledge into students that the objective is这句的语法有没有问题啊?,

我是想说强调句式，加强一下语气，想强调的是宾语，表达的不好，不知能帮我给各合适的表达吗？

3）in nowadays

我查的nowadays是副词

d_messiahUID：177468

其他人也帮着解答一下吧

abigredUID：154473

今天又没限时，写的字数多了，言多必失。
大家有空的帮着拍拍
-------题目--------
Issue 50 in order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach.
-------提纲--------
首段，引出话题，给出观点

B1，说明高等教育的首要目的（学会把知识用到实际），能否达到这个首要目的是评价高等教育的标准之一
B2，要达到这个目的，需要教员们的指导和帮助，以商业为例说明题目给的走出校园的意义。不幸的是，很多毕业生现在不能立即进入角色，故要想提高教育水平，应该。。。。。。
B3，对于基础学科，首要目的没变，但要求教员能够掌握其他学科知识
B4，基础学科教员的“课余”时间应该搞研究，而下到社会会减少教学时间，相反，实际的学科，课余时间应该满足社会的最现实需要，走进社会不失为合理的

尾段，总结

-------正文--------

While in society, there is an expect that at the college and university level, the quality of instruction should boost, an notion that all faculty should be required to take part time jobs, which are outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach in school., comes into sight. 我觉得这个句子有点长，让人感觉表达不清晰 Considering the main objective of the advanced education such a suggestion has its merit for some academic realms. Nevertheless, for other academic fields, especially those basic subjects, it is of no need. In addition, in my viewpoint, for these fundamental subjects the most efficient way to improve the quality of instruction will be to require those faculties to learn some knowledge of other subjects. 开头简洁一点地表达观点吧
        
What is the main objective of the advanced education? In my point, such a question must be given a relatively appropriate answer before discussing whether all faculties of a college and a university should go out of the campus. As advanced education, it is not only pouring knowledge into students that the objective is, but it is to attain a goal that the graduated can make put what they have learned in school into practice after their gradating. And whether such an objective can be attained should be a standard to evaluate the quality of the education of the college and university.

How can such an objective be attained? It is the responsibility of the faculty to guide the students or help them to know how to put the knowledge into action. For instance, in the field of business, some graduates will sit in the offices of some companies, and they must transform the knowledge learned in school to the profit. If faculty of the business can take jobs in society, they can bring some practical problems into the class, and to some extents can make the students consider such problems which they will encounter in future, then quest for the appropriate solution to these problems. Unfortunately, nowadays, a myriad of graduates cannot get into their positions of the companies. Hence, only when the faculty can make students know how to transform the knowledge on the books into the practice, the advance education can accomplish its true objective. And maybe the requirement that faculty spend time out of the academic field is a feasible and an efficient measured to help faculty to direct and teach the students to learn this transformation.

However, for some basic subjects, such suggestion would have no merit, although the objective of advanced education discussed above is unchanged. In fact, for these basic subjects, “put the knowledge into practice” means that the graduates can make contribution to other fields which are more closed to the practice. Take Mathematics as an example to illustrate the point. As we all known, Mathematics is the basic of many science and social subjects, including the business talked about above. It is commonsense that in business, sometimes it needs to do some analysis and forecasting, when statistics is the necessary condition. And it is no doubt that if a student whose major is mathematics knows some knowledge of business, he/she will work out some solution to the business’s analysis and forecasting more quickly, or saying at least he/she can communicate with businessman more commodiously. What is required is not only the students own work to learn some knowledge of other fields, but also the faculties’ responsibility to teach the students to learn such knowledge or direct them how to get the knowledge. Were it not for the faculties themselves to learn this knowledge, it would be unreliable to expect that the students can get some direction from teachers. 我个人觉得这个观点有待商榷。首先，数学是基础学科没错，但是要由老师接触外界来传授知识吗?你提纲里写的“要求教员能够掌握其他学科知识”跟题目的联系不是很紧密，题目的意思应该是要求老师接触外部世界，不局限于学术领域，而不是说学科之间的交叉。而且就这个例子来说，数学系的学生要学商业的知识，也可以有经济学专业的老师来授课，不一定说要有学数学的老师来教啊
Additionally, to require these faculties who teach the basic subjects to work out of the campus will take up most of their time. For these faculties, the work, apart from teaching, is to do some researches, work out some new theories or some new technologies. The working outside the academic has little business on such mission, and the total time for these teachers is limited. Therefore, if they spend much of the limited time to work out of the campus, the time spent on teaching will diminish as a result. Then what the consequence of the instruction will be is clear. On the contrary, to those fields which are more closed to the practice, the faculties should spend the time not spent on teaching, to meet the up-to-date developing trends of the society. In a sense, while involving into the society, they can learn what the society need in the present.

Based on the discussion above, what I want to state is clear. It is true that faculty of some subjects should work out of the academic world because they can torch the most current problems and bring some fresh and practical problems into the class, notwithstanding, it is not necessary for “all”. In a word, all my position is due to the main objective of the advanced education, that make the graduates can handle the tools learned in school to use in the practice.   [837words]

字数很多，但是有些地方表达重复比较多，可以稍微言简意赅点

JianchuanUID：2121431

谢谢楼主来看我, 楼主真能写, 到这里(10楼)也就只能给点精神上的支持了...

d_messiahUID：177468

Originally posted by Jianchuan at 2005-8-2 23:51
谢谢楼主来看我, 楼主真能写, 到这里(10楼)也就只能给点精神上的支持了...

谢谢
给点儿实质上的帮助，我将更加的感激