issue208 同主题写作,欢迎拍砖~

ceciliarenUID: 138976

Issue 208
"The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."


In a society, can the people's behavior, ways of dressing reflect the values and ideas of that society, as the topic asserts？i safely agree with the speaker’s idea that the way people look and act can reflect of their attitudes and interests. Moreover, although these ways are considered as external factors, to some extent we can really realize a society though observing such appearances. Nevertheless, it is necessary to realize many other aspects if we want to get a comprehensive understanding of a society.

To some extent the way of people dressing can reveals not only their individual attitudes but also the prevailing values of that society. It seems that a society whose people share the same dressing ways and similar public behaviors place a low emphasis on individual liberty and cultural diversity. Take North Korea for instance, all people there are dressing similarly and the style of their dress is monotonous from which we can recognized a kind of cultural homogeneity as an imposition on social members. And the minds of people living under such imposition are mostly circumscribed and tend to become more close and simplex. From these phenomenons we can further conclude the lack of democracy in that country. In contrast, people in a democratic and free society tends to dress more diversified and colorful and such society usually is abundant with many different styles of dressing from which we can easily feel the liberty and cultural diversity even within a short time. Such factor can reveal people’s attitude which is open-minded, free and easy to receive fresh things. In short, the way of dressing, may regarded as an external factor, can really be a reflection of the value and idea proposed by that society where people are living.

In addition, through the behaviors we can also tell much about the current value advocated by a society and the interests and attitudes of people. For example, brute behaviors of people usually reveal the uncivilized degree of value of that society. By the contrary, a society with gentle acts and civilized behaviors may reveal the high-educated status of people and civilized value emphasized by this society. Furthermore, through observing the rate of people walking, we can realize what living styles this society is advocating. People usually with rapid pace walking in the street reveal the busy working, rapid living rhythm and operation of that society. One such example is HongKong which is an international finance and commercial center where high productivity is more accentuated and people have been used to the rapid pace of working and living. Another example that can serve as a testimony to the relationship between people’s behaviors and their interests is that nowadays with the increasingly globalization, more and more people frequent American fast-food restaurants and prefer watching Hollywood movies which all reflect a trend of globalization of that society.

However, if we want to understand a society comprehensively there are still many other aspects we must consider due to some undetermined characters of people's dressing and behaviors. Since the ways of dressings tends to vary and change according to natural or socail reasons and today so diversified the notions of dressing that observing a few people’s looks and wearing will generate partial conclusions. If we complete rely on these external factors, we may get an incomplete even false understanding of that society. Some indispensable factors that may help us realize the society include the development level of technology, the education status, political system, the culture tradition, the economy level and etc. With specific understanding of these aspects, we can realize the values and ideas of this society essentially.

In conclusion, from the way people look, act and dress we can realize the living styles and other aspects of a society to some extent. However, to gain a complete understanding, it is necessary to take into account other important factors related to some important aspects of that society.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-17 at 01:49 ]

meteor18_leeUID: 189655

In a society, can the people's behavior, ways of dressing reflect the values and ideas of that society, as the topic asserts？i(I,呵呵,这个下回别再犯了哈) safely agree with the speaker’s idea that the way people look and act can reflect of(can be a reflection/can reflect,"can reflect of"是个啥意思啊) their attitudes and interests. Moreover, although these ways are considered as external factors, to some extent we can really realize a society though observing such appearances. Nevertheless, it is necessary to realize many other aspects if we want to get a comprehensive understanding of a society.(开头总体感觉不错,很明确)
To some extent(能不能换个短语,这个开头刚出现过了,不过我还没想起来,不好意思啊,想到了告诉我哈,当然这个已经是个很高级和实用的短语了呵呵) the way of people dressing can reveals not only their individual attitudes but also the prevailing values of that society. It seems that a society whose people share the same dressing ways(用style似乎好一些,语言vary一些的文章就更精彩啦) and similar public behaviors place a low emphasis on individual liberty and cultural diversity. (开始有实例了,好,比单纯讲理的读起来有内容)Take North Korea for instance, all people there are dressing similarly and the style of their dress is monotonous from which we can recognized a kind of cultural homogeneity as an imposition on social members. And the minds of people living under such imposition(不一定吧,说不定跟我们国家当年一样大家就是喜欢这样统一啊,一颗红心啊,不过整体来说算是一个supportive的例子) are mostly circumscribed and tend to become more close and simplex. From these phenomenons we can further conclude the lack of democracy in that country. In contrast, people in a democratic and free society tends to dress more diversified and colorful and such society usually is abundant with many different styles of dressing from which we can easily feel the liberty and cultural diversity even within a short time. Such factor can reveal people’s attitude which is open-minded, free and easy to receive fresh things.(这整个一段结构不错.论的丰满,这里要是来个一句话小举一个例子,比如说现在的发达国家或者开放的中国就是这样,感觉好些,具体的语言就不好改了,虽说明显是中国人写出来的但是已经很不错了哦,赞一下) In short, the way of dressing, may regarded as an external factor, can really be a reflection of the value and idea proposed by that society where people are living.

In addition, through the behaviors we can also tell much about the current value advocated by a society and the interests and attitudes of people. For example, brute behaviors of people usually reveal the uncivilized degree of value of that society. By the contrary, a society with gentle acts and civilized behaviors may reveal the high-educated status of people and civilized value emphasized by this society. Furthermore, through observing the rate of people walking, we can realize what living styles this society is advocating.(楼主阿狗一定写得不错:lol) People usually(这里就不要usually这个词了吧,读着很别扭) with rapid pace walking in the street reveal the busy working, rapid living rhythm and operation of that society. One such example is HongKong which is an international finance(financial) and commercial center where high productivity is more accentuated and people have been used to the rapid pace of working and living. Another example that can serve as a testimony to the relationship between people’s behaviors and their interests is that nowadays with the increasingly globalization, more and more people frequent American fast-food restaurants and prefer watching Hollywood movies which all reflect a trend of globalization of that society.

However, if we want to understand a society comprehensively there are still many other aspects we must consider due to some undetermined characters of people's dressing and behaviors. Since the ways of dressings tends to vary and change according to natural or socail(social??) reasons and today so diversified the notions of dressing that observing a few people’s looks and wearing will generate partial conclusions. If we complete rely on these external factors, we may get an incomplete even false understanding of that society. Some indispensable factors that may help us realize the society include the development level of technology, the education status, political system, the culture tradition, the economy level and etc. With specific understanding of these aspects, we can realize the values and ideas of this society essentially. (大正小负结构清楚,这一段也很不错,条理很清楚.再赞啊!我已经要哭了)
In conclusion, from the way people look, act and dress we can realize the living styles and other aspects of a society to some extent. However, to gain a complete understanding, it is necessary to take into account other important factors related to some important aspects of that society.


限时的吗,真的吗,我的天,好羡慕,不谈观点,整个文章脉络结构,论证手法真的是不错啊!!我至今未敲出一篇,倒计时16天了,55555今天一定把这篇交出来,大家来帮帮我啊,我也只是瞎拍,还请指正啊!

我终于也写出来了，帮帮忙看看好不？
:)https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=323617

[ Last edited by meteor18_lee on 2005-8-20 at 23:08 ]

orange83UID: 2127694

"The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."


In a society, can the //cancel the “the”// people's behavior, ways of dressing reflect the values and ideas of that society, as the topic asserts？i safely agree with the speaker’s idea //that the way people look and act can reflect of their attitudes and interests. No need to repeat the topic so much time, cancel it// Moreover, although these ways are considered as external factors, to some extent we can really realize a society though // through// observing such appearances. Nevertheless, it is necessary to realize many other aspects if we want to get a comprehensive understanding of a society. //开头感觉有点乱，moreover那一句应该放到具体论述里比较好//

To some extent the way of people dressing can reveals //reveal// not only their individual attitudes but also the prevailing values of that society. It seems that a society whose people share the same dressing ways and similar public behaviors place // places// a // cancel the “a”// low emphasis on individual liberty and cultural diversity. Take North Korea for instance, all people there are dressing similarly and the style of their dress is monotonous from which we can recognized a kind of cultural homogeneity as an imposition on social members. And the minds of people living under such imposition are mostly circumscribed and tend to become more close and simplex. From these phenomenons // what you mentioned above is only a phenomenon, and the pl. form of phenomenon is phenomena// we can further conclude the lack of democracy in that country. // we can further conclude that the democracy in that country is in a paucity// In contrast, people in a democratic and free society tends // tend// to dress more diversified and colorful and such society usually is abundant with many different styles of dressing from which we can easily feel the liberty and cultural diversity even within a short time. Such factor can reveal people’s attitude which is open-minded, free and easy to receive fresh things. In short, the way of dressing, may regarded as an external factor, can really // actually or truly will be better than really// be a reflection of the value and idea proposed by that // a// society where people are living.// ‘where people are living’ should be cancelled since it serves nothing here//

In addition, through the behaviors // what behaviors are you referring to? You should name it first in that this is another paragraph// we can also tell much about the current value advocated by a society and the interests and attitudes of people. For example, brute behaviors of people usually reveal the uncivilized degree of value of that society. By the contrary, // on the contrary// a society with gentle acts and civilized behaviors // it is the people but not a society who have gentle acts/ may reveal the high-educated status of people and civilized value emphasized by this society. Furthermore, through observing the rate of people walking, we can realize what living styles this society is advocating. People usually with rapid pace walking in the street reveal // reveals// the busy working, rapid living rhythm and operation of that // you should use an “a” instead// society. One such example is HongKong which is an international finance and commercial center // which is an .... is meaningless here, cancel it// where high productivity is more accentuated and people have been used to the rapid pace of working and living. //Another example that can serve as a testimony to the relationship between people’s behaviors and their interests is that nowadays with the increasingly globalization, more and more people frequent American fast-food restaurants and prefer watching Hollywood movies which all reflect a trend of globalization of that society.  this sentence is too long to read, split it//
//However, if we want to understand a society comprehensively there are still many other aspects we must consider due to some undetermined characters of people's dressing and behaviors. Too long.....// Since the ways of dressings tends //tend// to vary and change according to natural or socail //social// reasons and //today 这句应该分开为独立句// today so diversified the notions of dressing that observing a few people’s looks and wearing will generate partial conclusions. If we complete rely on these external factors, we may get an incomplete // or even// even false understanding of that // a// society. Some indispensable factors that may help us realize the society include the development level of technology, the education status, political system, the culture tradition, the economy level and etc. // you cannot use “and” to link the “etc.” // With specific understanding of these aspects, we can realize the values and ideas of this society essentially.

In conclusion, from the way people look, act and dress we can realize the living styles and other aspects of a society to some extent. However, to gain a complete understanding, it is necessary to take into account other important factors related to some important aspects of that society. // the last sentence is confusing :( //

1.注意语法错误
2.不要随便用指代词，除非上文提及，不然指代不清
3.长句子是必要，但太长会让人读起来很累，而且容易犯错，要长短句结合

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ghlight=%2Borange83
我的issue4，请多多指教