Issue196 fantasy互改组22日

fancingUID: 208191

Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life.
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Could you imagine how to survive in an old age where these is no internet, no convenient traffic tools or no colorful television programs? Thanks to the development of technology, we could enjoy our lives nowadays. Even though some problems still exist like war, violation and information overloaded, I still support that technology is a gift to us human beings, which brings us to a fantastic new world and definitely solves more problems than it creates. Now, let me show my idea from several aspects like transportation, communication and medical development.

Firstly, let’s focus on the influence of technology on transportation. As we see, the invention of car, train and plane has made our transportation increasingly convenient. We could attend a conference in China today and be present on a celebration in America tomorrow. It's also because of some modern traffic technology that the people in the whole world could enjoy the World Carnival in their own country. The persons which suffered from that one could not be divided to put in the different places(分身乏术,不知道该如何表示) would be pleasant now. Admittedly, these new technologies bring some problems, such as traffic jam, traffic injuries, while bringing us convenience. However, when we compared the situation now with that in the old days which there aren’t these technologies, we must find that even the traffic jam might make people lose time for transportation, but no one could deny that we are more efficient now because of these new technologies; even there may be some injuries caused by the new transportation tools, but who can say that there are not injuries when people use horses or bicycles as transportation tools. Therefore, as a whole, technology improve the quality of our life through more convenient transportation, even it causes some new traffic problems meanwhile.

Secondly, for the aspect of communication, we could get the same conclusion. Nowadays, mobile phone, internet and television have been a part of our daily life. Mobile phone helps us when some emergency appears; internet made it possible to work and contact with managers, partners or clients at home; colorful television programs change our boring life, leading us to the beauty spots all over the world, making it possible to enjoy a live show or game without going to the theater or play field. Besides, because of these new communication tools, distance education comes true; it is more convenient for us to search for information on the internet; it is even possible to watch the  work of the officials on the television. As the old saying said, there are two sides of a coin. Admittedly, it is inevitable that these new communication tools would propagate some deleterious information. But these problems are not caused directly by the technology, but directly by the human beings themselves. Even if there is no internet and television, as a result of the curiosity and desire about sex, the information about porn could also be transferred by books or magazines. For the same reason, even if the new communication tools eliminate, the deleterious information will still be propagated by the old tools, because there still is a great demand.

The last but not least, let’s turn to medical development. After finding gene, the fundamental element of human beings, and researching on it, scientists look for the solution to many “incurable” diseases step by step. In the coming future, we could see many people going out of the bloomy days and becoming healthy. Even if gene engineering causes an ethical problem, we cannot ignore the contribution to medical development. If we could use the gene engineering correctly, the ethical problem would not be a good one.

To sum up, technology brings us a lot, either in transportation, communication or medical development, even more than we can imagine. Although technology creates some problems, I  still think that technology really solve more problems compared to that it creates, some problems are not caused by technology directly but by us human beings, and other problems cannot influent the overall influence of technology on our life.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-22 at 22:58 ]

禾日因心UID: 174510

挖卡卡，LZ写的好长呀，不过偶还是耐心得看完了，LZ是对科技赞成的态度的，用了三点的分析transportation. communication ，medical development.虽然这样写没有什么问题，可重要的问题是这样写不可能深入的写，I的文章讲的就是深入性，LZ的那三点其实写的就一个方面，就是科技给人类带来的方便处，如果是要从方方面面来说，到不如，从科技对文化，政治，经济，等方面来写

禾日因心UID: 174510

同一个队的，帮忙看看哈
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=324612

fancingUID: 208191

我自己写的时候也越写越觉得不对劲
本来思路是1.写科技解决的问题
                2.写科技带来的问题
                3.把两者进行比较
结果后面发觉比较的时候太混乱了，结果又拆成现在这样
唉~~自己经常会否定自己的想法，都不知道该怎么办了

禾日因心UID: 174510

恩，LZMM不着急，大家写的时候是经常这样的，至少我就是，写得很痛苦，有时候写到一半就写不下去了，不管怎么样我们都要勇敢得写呀，前人的经验是练，练，不断地练

mahuUID: 179508

Meanwhile, across the Pacific ocean, on the other continent, one country was famous for its people wearing the same “ blue”, called “blue ants”. Just like their blue-oriented clothes, their thoughts seemed to be all painted red- oriented.

娃赛，这个例子举得！！

foreveraUID: 202035

Could you imagine how to survive in an old age where these is no internet, no convenient traffic tools or no colorful television programs? Thanks to the development of technology, we could enjoy our lives nowadays. Even though some problems still exist like war, violation and information overloaded 应该用名词, I still support that technology is a gift to us human beings, which brings us to a fantastic new world and definitely solves more problems than it creates. Now, let me show my idea from several aspects like 不要总用这个词..换点such as...including..lie in之类的transportation, communication and medical development.开头还不错,就是稍微有点长.

Firstly, let’s focus on the influence of technology 多余了吧on transportation. As we see know, the invention of car, train and plane has made our transportation increasingly convenient. 这句不错... We could attend a conference in China today and be present on a celebration in America tomorrow. It's also because of some modern traffic technology that the people in the whole world could enjoy the World Carnival in their own country. The persons which suffered from that one could not be divided to put in the different places(分身乏术,不知道该如何表示) 这句表达的是有点罗嗦,换成one are not able to present himself at two different locations simultaniously 我感觉回好一点,不过也很罗嗦would be pleasant 太准确,这里用动词是最好的,比如说release, relax,有一种从suffer中解脱的感觉.now. Admittedly, these new technologies bring some problems, such as traffic jam, traffic injuries, while bringing us convenience 感觉有点别扭,直接用even though做个从句就可以了. However, when we compared the situation now with that in the old days which there aren’t these technologies, we must 太强硬了,be able to就很好find that even the traffic jam might make people lose time for transportation, but no one could deny that we are more efficient now because of these new technologies; even there may be some injuries caused by the new transportation tools, but who can say that there are not injuries when people use horses or bicycles as transportation tools.这里层次比较不清晰,前面说好出,后面说坏处,怎么又出了这么多说好处的地方.. Therefore, as a whole, technology improve the quality of our life through more convenient transportation, even it causes some new traffic problems meanwhile.论述还不错,就是有点罗嗦.

Secondly, for 这里的for是什么意思?换成as to承接更好一点the aspect of communication, we could get drawthe same conclusion. Nowadays, mobile phone, internet and television have been a part of our daily life. Mobile phone helps us when some emergency appears; in emergenciesinternet made it possible to work and contact with managers, partners or clients at home; colorful television programs change our boring life, leading us to the beauty spots all over the world, making it possible to enjoy a live show or game without going to the theater or play field. Besides, because of these new communication tools, distance education comes true; it is more convenient for us to search for information on the internet; it is even possible to watch the  work of the officials on the television. As the old saying said, there are two sides of a coin. Admittedly, it is inevitable that these new communication tools would propagate some deleterious information. But these problems are not caused directly by the technology, but directly by the human beings themselves.应该再具体点说 Even if there is no internet and television, as a result of the curiosity and desire about sex, the information about porn could also be transferred by books or magazines. For the same reason, even if the new communication tools eliminate, the deleterious information will still be propagated by the old tools, because there still is a great demand.

The last but not least, let’s turn to medical development 这句明显的口语化,referring to medical fields,.....". After finding gene, the fundamental element of human beings, and researching on it, scientists look for the solution to many “incurable” diseases step by step. In the coming future, we could see many people going out of the bloomy days啥意思 and becoming healthy. Even if gene engineering causes an ethical problem, we cannot ignore the contribution to medical development. If we could use the gene engineering correctly, the ethical problem would not be a good one.

To sum up, technology brings us a lot, either in transportation, communication or medical development, even more than we can imagine. Although technology creates some problems, I  still think that technology really solve more problems compared to that it creates, some problems are not caused by technology directly but by us human beings, and other problems cannot influent the overall influence of technology on our life.


总体来说还不错,不过BODY3段都有一个共同的毛病,结构不清晰,一会说好处,一会说坏处,坏处中还夹杂着好处,有点乱...用具体的方面代表整个科技也可以不过开头或结尾要说明这几种很有代表性可以完全代表其他的.语言上还有一些地方需要推敲...
我的196看了吗? ;P

fancingUID: 208191

forevera改得真好，写得也好，榜样：）。。。