argument147 (words 467)

gaojiehahaUID: 2149729

提纲：
1．指出arguer的观点，论证，然后说argument有些地方不令人信服
2．调查的可信度值得怀疑
   ――调查对象的信息不全面，可能调查的年龄群与销售年龄群不符合
   ――没考虑电脑性能对可视游戏销售的影响
3．可能有些其它的因素影响游戏的销售情况
    （比如经济的不景气、同行业竞争激烈、家长老师不允许孩子玩游戏）
4．要使argument可信，arguer还应该增加调查的信息量，找出其它影响销售的原因
正文：
     In this analysis, the arguer claims that the sales of Whirlwind will increase dramatically through introduce several games about lifelike graphics. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer cites the result of a recent survey that video-game players think lifelike graphics is the most important factor in a video game. In addition, Whirlwind introduced several games with extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old. This argument is unconvincing for several critical flaws.
    In the first place, the argument is based on a hasty generalization. The arguer fails to state the information about video-game players in the survey, such as the age of the group surveyed. The game and an extensive advertising campaign are designed directed at people 10 to 25 years old. If the survey is held among people ages from 25 to 35, who also like to play video games, the conclusion of the survey is unwarranted. Additionally, the arguer fails to take into account the effects of the qualities about computers on the sales of video games in the analysis. While we are informed that the games provide lifelike graphics require most up-to-date computers, the arguer fails to make clear the exact number of the user of up-to-date computers or their percentage in the video-game players. If the most up-to-date computer is not the mainstream and most video-game players do not have such kind of computers, then there will be less people to buy the video game.  In the absence of all this information, it is impossible for us to evaluate the conclusion that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.
    In the second place, the arguer fails to consider several other relevant factors that may influence the sales of Whirlwind. Is it because the local area suffers from economic depression, or because the competition between companies which product video games fierce, or because the parents and the teachers prohibit the young children and teenagers, the group mostly like to play video games, playing video games? Under these circumstances, providing several games about lifelike graphics and introducing an expensive advertising campaign would be ineffective at all for the purpose of increasing the sales of Whirlwind video games.
     To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To strengthen the argument, we would need more information regarding the video-game players in the survey. To better evaluate the argument; the arguer would have to provide more evidence concerning the percentage of the up-to-date computers' distribution in the video game players. Additionally, the arguer must provide evidence to rule out other possible causes of the low sales of Whirlwind video games.

[ Last edited by gaojiehaha on 2005-12-14 at 19:52 ]

[ 本帖最后由 gaojiehaha 于 2006-1-5 18:17 编辑 ]

tomatopotatoUID: 129913

In this analysis, the arguer claims that the sales of Whirlwind will increase dramatically through introduce several games about lifelike graphics. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer cites the result of a recent survey that video-game players think lifelike graphics is the most important factor in a video game. In addition, Whirlwind introduced several games with extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old. This argument is unconvincing for several critical flaws.
    In the first place, the argument is based on a hasty generalization. The arguer fails to state the information about video-game players in the survey, such as the age of the group surveyed. The game and an extensive advertising campaign are designed directly at people 10 to 25 years old. If the survey is held among people ages from 25 to 35, who also like to play video games, the conclusion of the survey is unwarranted. Additionally, the arguer fails to take into account （很好啊：）the effects of the qualities about computers on the sales of video games in the analysis. While we are informed that the games provide lifelike graphics require most up-to-date computers, the arguer fails to make clear the exact number of the user of up-to-date computers or their percentage in the video-game players. If the most up-to-date computer is not the mainstream and most video-game players do not have such kind of computers, then there will be less people to buy the video game.  In the absence of all this information, it is impossible for us to evaluate the conclusion that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.
    In the second place, the arguer fails to consider several other relevant factors that may influence the sales of Whirlwind. Is it because the local area suffers from economic depression, or because the competition between companies which product video games fierce, or because the parents and the teachers prohibit the young children and teenagers, the group mostly like to play video games, playing video games? Under these circumstances, providing several games about lifelike graphics and introducing an expensive advertising campaign would be ineffective at all for the purpose of increasing the sales of Whirlwind video games.
     To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To strengthen the argument, we would need more information regarding the video-game players in the survey. To better evaluate the argument; the arguer would have to provide more evidence concerning the percentage of the up-to-date computers' distribution（contribution） in the video game players. Additionally, the arguer must provide evidence to rule out other possible causes of the low sales of Whirlwind video games.
我真的是昨天刚看的argu，所以真的没办法替你好好看，只能带着欣赏的态度，请见谅。你也可以不用改我的文章，因为我实在写的太烂了！