TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组 网兜妮妮第十八次作业

网兜妮妮UID: 2612538

Movie is art and movie is entertainment as well. Some movies let people find something about life; others just act as amusement helping people relieve pressure. As I grow older and begin to value knowledge and wisdom more, I turn more toward serious movies which can let me think. And through watching these kinds of movies, I got a deeper understanding about life as well as the whole world.
Primarily, sometimes it is really hard to category movies to the simple "serious" or "entertain”, it deepens on the different backgrounds and experiences of audiences. In a general speaking, often the serious movies, which director is try to discuss something in the film, set out more questions or dilemmas for audiences to think. Take the movie Shaw shank redemption as an example, it is a movie showed a desperate situation and multiple choices which we can hardly experience. But when we watched this movie, we find courage, wisdom and belief in the actor, and then, find the inner power from our hearts. So, after watching a serious movie, I always encouraged by the actor’s spirit and felt stronger than before to meet my difficulties.
On the other hand, serious movie often shows the map of the real world, including the negative side. When I was young, I always judging things with a simple standard----is it good or bad. But from the films, I can see the different views pointed to a same thing and everyone has its own reasons to support a choice, so I can see deeper into a thing and I can find more related reasons than the simple cause and effect, not only in the film, but in the real world. Obviously, I was more mature and sophisticated when dealing with things meet in my life.
Thirdly, serious movie is often well-prepared and shows the unique opinion of the director which can provide me sparks to think of other things. When I was wandering in my essay and found no evidences to support my view, a serious movie which I watched last night is really helpful to provide me a new idea. So, I do think serious movie is a good way to renew my old thinking method.
To sum up, as what I was listed above, serious movie is not only a good channel to enlarge one's ken of knowledge and the understanding of the world, but also an effective way to embrace new ideas. I really prefer watching serious movie in my leisure time.

司青UID: 2590811

我马上改！一直拖着。。。。。别拍我。。。。。

司青UID: 2590811

Movie is art and movie is entertainment as well. （有点重复）Some movies let people find something about life; others just act as amusement helping people relieve pressure. 这句话我建议这样改一下：Some movies make people to realize the truth of life while others act a role in helping people to relieve from pressure.As I grow older and begin to value(这个动词我喜欢） knowledge and wisdom more, I turn more toward （pay more attention to)serious movies which can let me think. And through watching these kinds of movies, I got (gain,got太过口语化了）a deeper understanding about life as well as the whole world.

Primarily, sometimes it is really hard to category（这个名词可以做动词吗？） movies to the simple "serious" or "entertain”, it deepens （是depends吧？）on the different backgrounds and experiences of audiences. In a general speaking（直接说General speaking 就可以了，固定搭配）, often the serious movies, which director is try to discuss something in the film, set out more questions or dilemmas for audiences to think.（这一句主语是什么？） Take the movie Shaw shank redemption as an example, it is a movie showed a desperate situation and multiple choices which we can hardly experience. But when we watched this movie, we find courage, wisdom and belief in from the actor, (而且应该是从角色里获得勇气等而非演员）and then, find the inner power from our hearts. So, （Therefore,)after watching a serious movie, I always encouraged (be encouraged应该用被动语态)by the actor’s spirit and felt stronger than before to meet my difficulties.(Therefore,I am alway encouraged by the spirit of actors and have more courage to overcome the difficulties after watching a serious movie.)
8 E9 g& z

On the other hand, serious movie often shows the map of the real world, (什么意思没看懂哦）including the negative side. When I was young, I always judging judged things with a simple standard----is it good or bad. But from the films, I can see the different views pointed to a same thing(同一问题的不同观点different views based on the same question) and everyone has its his own reasons to support a choice, so (删掉）I can see deeper into a thing and I can find more related reasons than the simple cause and effect, （我实在不知道你要表达什么意思）not only in the film, but in the real world. Obviously, I was more mature and sophisticated when dealing with things meet in my life.) _3 b; z' S* x! u% C* u. Z

Thirdly, serious movie is often well-prepared and shows the unique opinion of the director which can provide me sparks to think of other things. When I was wandering in my essay and found no evidences to support my view, a serious movie which I watched last night is really helpful to provide me a new idea. So, I do think serious movie is a good way to renew my old thinking method.（中式英语啊）

To sum up, as what I was listed above, serious movie is not only a good channel to enlarge one's ken of knowledge and the understanding of the world, but also an effective way to embrace new ideas. I really prefer watching serious movie in my leisure time.


后面两段写的不错。

网兜妮妮UID: 2612538

很详细啊，感动感动，谢谢小青~
要好好看看你改出来的那些问题...

中式英语一直是我的大问题，愁啊....
那个thinking method 我好像在很多地方都用了，因为不知道该怎么表达“思维方式”这个意思？
小青有建议没？

nlhustUID: 2404239

很抱歉，这么晚才改好。。

Movieis art and movie is entertainment as well. Some movies let people findsomething about life; others just act as amusement helping peoplerelieve pressure. As I grow older and begin to value knowledge andwisdom more, I turn more toward serious movies which can let me think.And through watching these kinds of movies, I got a deeperunderstanding(understood more) about life as well as the whole world. (这一段小青改了的地方我就不说了，反正前面标出的两个用let的地方感觉都不是很好，楼主平时最好多积累些表达类似意思的词汇，像make其实挺好的，就是平时用的太多感觉有点。。)

Primarily,sometimes it is really hard to category(确实不能作动词用吧，看看能不能改成classify，divide) movies to the simple "serious"or "entertain”, it deepens on the different backgrounds and experiencesof audiences. In a general speaking(In General或Generally speaking，比较简洁感觉读起来也舒服些), often（换到后面去怎么样？） the serious movies, whichdirector is try to discuss something in the film（似乎有语法问题，改成 in which director try to discuss something）, often set out morequestions or dilemmas for audiences to think. Take the movie Shaw shank redemptionas an example, it is a movie（这个地方可以说的简洁些，For example, Shaw Shank Redemption）showed（shows?） a desperate situation and multiplechoices which we can hardly experience(这里貌似有点问题，situation用experience来说感觉还可以，但choice也用experience的感觉就不太对了，所以这里貌似不能直接将两个并列然后再用which指代). But when we watched（watching） this movie,we find（用 see 会不会更好呢？） courage, wisdom and belief in the actor, and then, find theinner power from our hearts. So, after watching a serious movie, Ialways encouraged by the actor’s spirit and felt stronger than before（去掉吧，前面已经是比较级似乎就没有必要这样说了吧）to meet(感觉用 face 更好些) my difficulties(这一句都是用I来叙述的，前面一句是不是把 we 换成 I 更好些).

Onthe other hand, serious movie often shows the map of the real world(?),including the negative side. When I was young, I always judging thingswith a simple standard----is it good or bad(还可以就直接这样写 I divided the world too often into good and evil, 感觉更地道). But from the films, I cansee the different views pointed to a same thing（But films shows me different views of a same thing 这样写怎么样？） and everyone has itsown reasons to support a choice(?), so I can see deeper into a thing and Ican find more related reasons than the simple cause and effect, notonly in the film, but in the real world. Obviously, I was(am ?) more matureand sophisticated when dealing with things meet in my life.

Thirdly,serious movie is often well-prepared and shows the unique opinion ofthe director which can provide me sparks(inspire me) to think of other things. WhenI was wandering in my essay and found no evidences to support my view,a serious movie which(可以去掉吗？) I watched last night is really helpful to provideme a new idea. So, I do think serious movie is a good way to renew myold thinking method（用pattern表示方式可以吗？）.

To sum up, as what I was listed above, serious movie is not only a goodchannel to enlarge one's ken of knowledge and the understanding of theworld, but also an effective way to embrace new ideas. I really preferwatching serious movie in my leisure time.

nlhustUID: 2404239

啊，终于赶在熄灯前发上来了
楼主的思路挺清晰的，就是表达方式还有待积累哦，既然楼主也在准备Issue的话，就可以多看看Time， Economist什么的，背几篇文章啦，感觉还是很有帮助的！！

网兜妮妮UID: 2612538

谢谢楼上，改得这么细，看过之后很有帮助~
现在是在背一点文章啦，但是刚刚开始，积累阶段，希望日子久一点之后可以出成果~~