TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组 恩恩的囡囡的 第二十一次作业

恩恩的囡囡UID: 2542371

Is it better to spend money on something that lasts long time, such as an expensive piece of jewelry, or spend on something that provides a short-term pleasure, such as a vacation?

Human beings have benefited from their mother-Nature-for thousands of years. Whatever resources people found won't be available forever. Hundreds of them are almost going to be in shortage. For shis reason, the sustainable development is in men's favour. So spending money on something that lasts long time just support this perspective well.  And I stand at this side-it's better to spend money on something that lasts long time.

First of all, I want to share some words from my teacher who is in charge of my translation calass. This popular madam would sometimes talk about the world economy with us. Because of the subprime economic crisis,millions of people havev lost all of their money. There is a possibility that the Chinese economy might be badly impacted in two years. Under this circumstance, she offered us an advice that it would be a good idea to buy some gold from banks. For gold is the material which will least devaluate. What a marvelous suggestion !

Let's drive the boat from the subprime economic crisis to the Chinese farmer workers. It seems that spending money on a vovation is one of the best choice for the masses to relax. However; it cannot be denied that almost two thirds of the Chinese are peasants.  Most of them have been peasant-workers in recent years. Yes, they do earn more money than they did in the past. And then is it possible for the majority of them to spend their money in enjoying a short-term pleasure? The answer is oboviously no. What should they do if they come across a terrible accident which makes they need a large amount of money while the money has been spent on the enjoyment?

In my opinion, whatever a person wants to do, he/she should think twice. Since everyone lives in reality, and the reality caused the appearance of money. Nobody can get money easily. So there's no denying that money should be spent on something that will last for a long time in this instable world. Though money is not everything ,people can do almost nothing without money.

soilinkinUID: 2163892

Human beings have benefited from their mother-Nature-for thousands of years.(这里的破折号后面的词用空格隔开...不要让人误认为成组合词...我看了老半天才明白是什么意思...) Whatever resources people found won't（would not） be available forever. Hundreds of them are almost going to be in shortage. For shis(this) reason, the sustainable development is in men's favour. So spending money on something that lasts long time just support(supports) this perspective well.  And I stand at this side-it's better to spend money on something that lasts long time.

First of all, I want to share some words from my teacher who is in charge of my translation calass. This popular madam would sometimes talk about the world economy with us. Because of the subprime economic crisis,millions of people havev lost all of their money. There is a possibility that the Chinese economy might be badly impacted in two years. Under this circumstance, she offered us an advice that it would be a good idea to buy some gold from banks. For gold is the material which will least devaluate. What a marvelous suggestion !(这一段只有一个经济危机的例子而已...没有reasoning不能很好的证明你的观点...如果能先有reasoning再举例就好多了...)

Let's drive the boat from the subprime economic crisis to the Chinese farmer workers. It seems that spending money on a vovation is one of the best choice for the masses to relax. However; it cannot be denied that almost two thirds of the Chinese are peasants（peasant可是指比较贫穷的农民哦...）.  Most of them have been peasant-workers in recent years. Yes, they do earn more money than they did in the past. And then is it possible for the majority of them to spend their money in enjoying a short-term pleasure? The answer is oboviously no. What should they do if they come across a terrible accident which makes they need a large amount of money while the money has been spent on the enjoyment?

In my opinion, whatever a person wants to do, he/she should think twice. Since everyone lives in reality(英语中有这样的表达方式吗...我认为live in the real world好点...), and the reality caused the appearance of money. Nobody can get money easily. So there's no denying that money should be spent on something that will last for a long time in this instable world. Though money is not everything ,people can do almost nothing without money.

说说这篇文章的问题吧...整片文章并没有reasoning...只有例子...
也就是说...并没有先推理或点出LZ的论据来支持观点...而只是用一种情况来证明观点...
这种方法的错误就在于LZ在用特殊情况来支持一个普遍的观点...而非先用推理得到普遍道理再用特殊例子来验证...在逻辑上是不成立的...
而且LZ这样的写法没有几个方面的论据来支持论点...无非就是举出两个符合LZ观点的例子而已...无说服力...
一定要由不同方面的论据来支持论点...
请LZ注意这种情况...如果考试时出现这种情况...问题就严重了...

jenniferwyyUID: 2534935

Human beings have benefited from their mother-Nature-for thousands of years. Whatever resources people found won't be available forever. Hundreds of them are almost going to be in shortage. For shis(this) reason, the sustainable development is in men's favour(favors). So spending money on something that lasts long time just support(supports) this perspective well.  And I stand at this side-it's better to spend money on something that lasts long time."
First of all, I want to share some words from my teacher who is in charge of my translation calass(class). This popular madam would sometimes talk about the world economy with us. Because of the subprime(这个是什么意思啊) economic crisis, millions of people havev（have） lost all of their money. There is a possibility that the Chinese economy might be badly impacted in two years. Under this circumstance, she offered us an advice that it（去掉） would be a good idea to buy some gold from banks. For gold is the material which will （be） least devaluate. What a marvelous suggestion!  
Let's drive the boat from the subprime economic crisis to the Chinese farmer workers. It seems that spending money on a vovation(vocation) is one of the best choice for the masses to relax. However; it cannot be denied that almost two thirds of the Chinese are peasants.  Most of them have been peasant-workers in recent years. Yes, they do earn more money than they did in the past. And then is it possible for the majority of them to spend their money in enjoying a short-term pleasure? The answer is oboviously(obviously) no. What should they do if they come across a terrible accident which makes they(them who) need a large amount of money while the money has been spent on the enjoyment?

LZ的拼写错误好多啊 还有全篇都是例子 没有总结 没有理论 我觉得不太好啊 给人的思路不清晰