【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 jessie18第28次作业】

jessie18UID：2596971

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Getting advice from older friends is more valuable than getting advice from friends at you age.

Friends are as precious as priceless treasures sent by angles. A genuine friends is, without doubt, always a great helper, a responsible teacher and furthermore, an instructive advisor. However, upon the question, getting advice from older friends or from friends at you age? Different people have different opinions due to their diverse cultural backgrounds. From my personal angle, I am in favor of the opinion that it might be helpful if you got advice from a older friend.

First of all, it is truth universally acknowledge that older friends have volumes of experience, and therefore, whose advice is more valuable than that of my contemporary friends, especially in the case that they have faced the same problem before. My personal experience serves as a typical example. After I graduated from university, I was troubled by a dilemma that whether I should directly to work or to study abroad. Some friends of my own age suggested I shall to go work, the same with them. But when I talked with a friend who is older than me. He proposed that I should go abroad for further study of my major. So as to improve my ability, also, make a friends with more person. Because he had faced the same problem and he chose to study abroad, as a result, he had became an envy of all his friends, since he had a promising job. So I took his advice. That is to say, by standing on a higher place, our older friends can bring us more valuable ideas.


In addition, getting constructive opinions from older friends would keep you from avoidable mistakes. The older people will think things over before make decision, and for the sake of the their age, they are always more farsighted than the youth. There are numerous instances closely fit the notion, just like when I feel bored with my study, because the difficulty of grasping abstract statements made my learning very tiresome. My contemporary friends ask me to play with them and do not care about study. But my older friends told me I should careful think about the relationship between them, and do not wasted the time to learn. So I think getting advice from older friends is more valuable than getting advice from friends at my age.

Furthermore, the maturity and wisdom of the elderly is also inspire young people to learn. The things is that the older people are always more flexible to all of the little changes happening in their everyday life. It is easier for them to get up-to-date information and deal with a problem. Therefore, the most striking conclusion is obvious that older friends suggestion is more valuable than the youth.

To sum up, without doubt, young adults may be influenced by many aspects in forming their characters and their friends. So taking into account all the factors discussed above, we could safely come to the conclusion that getting advice from older friends is more valuable than getting advice from friends at you age.

gaofei323UID：2588256

Scientific progress brings us many conveniences and advanced machines, with the help of technology students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. However, upon the question, the next twenty years from now on, students will not use printed books any more. Different people have different opinions due to their diverse cultural backgrounds. From my personal angle, I am in favor of the opinion that students will still use printed books.# J9 e. R3 G7 Q% ^7 @
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First of all, it is true that printed books are very convenient for us to bring wherever we go. As is known to all, printed books are smaller and portability than any other electronic books. The computer is always ponderous and we can not carried anywhere with it(carry it anywhere). It can be easily demonstrated by thousands of examples in our daily life. A typical instance is when we go to school from home by train, during the trip we may feel very tiresome, so we can take an interesting printed book or a textbook. It not only helps us to pass the idle time, but also can increase our knowledge. It is much easier than carry a computer. Therefore, the most striking conclusion is obvious that printed books should not be vanished, we will still use it after the next twenty years even the hundred years later. A/ |3 A/ j& F2 K3 O1 T: P: o
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In addition, students who use printed books can reduce(would receive less更合理一点吧 辐射并没有减少，只是人受到得减少了) the radiations emitted by a computer and(which could) protect their eyes. You know, the computer send out radiations that are harmful to our health. A people, without doubt, would cause serious illness such as losing his or her hair , headache, skin cancer, and so on, if he or she always has a long time use(using) a computer. There are numerous instances closely fit the notion, just like my friend Lily. She often use the electronic books to study instead of our schoolbooks, she thought study(studing) on computer is good(better) than by the printed books because technology can increase the speed at which she imbibes information. But recently she often felt a headache when she use the computer, our school doctor suggest her not to use the computer too often because the radiations are harmful to her health. So suppose what if all the printed books had disappeared, how can we avoid these harms and protect our eyes?(感觉稍嫌啰嗦~ 适当精简一点哈)

Furthermore, if everybody use computer to study, university must prepare many computers in order to fulfill every students’ needs. It will cost too much, and the tuition would increase, this will increase the burden on our parents. What is more, printed books have value for preservation. So I think we will continue to use printed books.

To sum up, although study on internet is important in students’ education and learning, it still can not take the place of printed books. So taking into account all the factors discussed above, we could safely come to the conclusion that the next twenty years from now on, students will still use printed books.

整体文章不错~ 结构清楚，也比较流畅
有些语法注意一下~ 尝试一下句子不要说的罗嗦 可能会更好
加油！

gundammoleUID：2300958

1# jessie18
Friends are as precious as priceless treasures sent by angles. A genuine friends is, without doubt, always a great helper, a responsible teacher and furthermore,(furthermore去掉) an instructive advisor. However, upon the question, getting advice from older friends or from friends at you age? (为什么这里用问号,看不懂)Different(这里的different可以去掉,与后面的different重复累赘了) people have different opinions due to their diverse cultural backgrounds. From my personal angle, I am in favor of the opinion that it might be helpful if you(people)
got(get) advice from a older friend (这里用复数比较好).

First of all, it is truth (去掉) universally acknowledge (acknowledged) that older friends have volumes of experience, and therefore, whose advice is more valuable than that of my contemporary friends, especially in the case that they have faced the same problem before(especially in the same case). (One of ) my personal experience serves as a typical example. After I graduated from university, I was troubled by a dilemma that whether I should directly to work or to study abroad. Some friends of my own age suggested I shall to go work, the same with them. But when I talked with a friend who is older than me. (这里前后两句可以和为一句,中间用逗号连接)He proposed that I should go abroad for further study of my major. So as to improve my ability, also, make a friends(friends) with more person. Because he had faced the same problem and he chose to study abroad, as a result, (As a result,) he had became an envy of all his friends, since he had a promising job. So I took his advice. That is to say, by standing on a higher place, our older friends can bring us more valuable ideas.
请LZ注意run-on sentence的问题,该用句号的时候要用句号.


In addition, getting constructive opinions from older friends would keep you from avoidable mistakes. The older people will think things over before make (making) decision, and for the sake of the (the去掉) their age, they are always more farsighted than the youth. There are numerous instances closely fit the notion,这里用句号Just like when I feel(am) bored with my study, because the difficulty of grasping abstract statements made my learning very tiresome. My contemporary friends ask me to play with them and do not care about study (studies). But my older friends told me I should careful (carefully) think about the relationship between them, and do not wasted

the time to learn(waste learning time). So I think getting advice from older friends is more valuable than getting advice from friends at my age.

Furthermore, the maturity and wisdom of the elderly is also inspire young people to learn (the maturity and wisdom of the elder people are also worth to learn). The things is that the older people are always more flexible to all of the little changes happening in their everyday life (lives). It is easier for them to get up-to-date information and deal with a problem(problems). Therefore, the most striking conclusion is obvious that older friends(friends’) suggestion is more valuable than the youth (peers’).

To sum up, without doubt (去掉) , young adults may be influenced by many aspects in forming their characters and their friends. So taking into account all the factors discussed above, we could safely come to the conclusion that getting advice from older friends is more valuable than getting advice from friends at you age.

总体来说结构没问题,就是在语言的组织和语法运用上请LZ再下点功夫.加油加油!