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[i习作temp] 0910AW 同主题写作第一期 ISSUE13 by currycat [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-6-1 13:08:45 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 currycat 于 2009-6-3 23:19 编辑

The speaker points out a common phenomenon that some of the world’s lesser-known languages are being lost. To prevent the languages from becoming extinct, the governments of counties in which these languages are spoken should focus on and take action to these problems.

It is obvious that amount of languages are disappearing or have been disappeared by observing the civilization of recent centuries in the river of history. In Africa, some particular languages of the tribes are being continued orally, there are no so called language systems, some of the languages are lost as time past away.


What are the causes of the disappearance of those languages? First and foremost, with the process of globalization, the world becomes much smaller. By using the computer and internet technology , people of different countries can have connection with each other without face by face. In order to communicate with others better, there supposed to be a so called standard language. The emergence of the standard language definitely has influence on the native language if the two languages have different language system. On the other hand, most foreigners certainly do not tend to learn a language if the language itself is obscurely distinguished and hard to learn. Thirdly, it does no good to the spread of a language if the number of the native speaker is not huge enough.

From the analysis above, it is obvious that the government of these countries ought to take some actions to prevent the languages of their countries from disappearing. To begin with, regarding to the restriction of the native peoples, only the government has the power to take on the significant task. Secondly, a government is the symbol of one country, it has the responsibility to protect the culture of the country such as the special language.

Admittedly, excessive protection of the native language also does harm to the country itself even the whole world. In the process of the world’s development, the globalization is a significant part which needs the participation of all countries around the world. Extensive protection definitely has influence on the connection of the country with others so to the world’s globalization . Specifically, it also has impact on the development of the country by hindering the country’s communication with others. Even more, it may lead to the chauvinism which refers to the excessive or blind patriotism.

Based on the discussion above, it is not hard to conclude that it is necessary for the government of the country which the native language is disappear gradually to act to prevent these languages from extinct. However, the action of the protection should not be excessive. Proper protection of these languages is benefit to both the world and the country itself.


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发表于 2009-6-3 17:41:29 |只看该作者

RE: 0910AW 同主题写作第一期 ISSUE13 by currycat

(ISSUE13 by currycat)by dacongfan.doc

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板凳
发表于 2009-6-3 23:21:18 |只看该作者
改过了,呵呵,写完了没检查,我比较粗心,词性啊什么的经常会弄错,以后要多多努力,谢谢哦 2# dacongfan

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地板
发表于 2009-6-4 19:30:30 |只看该作者
文章总体来说结构完成,能够阐述出自己的一些观点,给出了一些分析。
但是,文章中的问题也有一些:
1、关键字引导词的缺乏导致文章中的观点不够突出,希望作者能加以改进,比如therefore之类的,应该多多试用。
2、文章中的时态问题有一些,一般来说用现在时态为主吧。
希望作者再接再励,加油!:)

issue13vane5433.doc

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发表于 2009-6-4 19:30:54 |只看该作者
3-3.5

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发表于 2009-6-7 11:12:47 |只看该作者
The speaker points out a common phenomenon that some of the world’s lesser-known languages are being lost.are
lost To prevent the languages from becoming extinct, the governments of counties in which these languages are spoken should focus on and take action to these problems.(take actions to do sth)
开头说明了后文要阐述政府要解决这些问题,但是后文没有说明政府怎么解决,只是说应该由政府解决,似乎前后照应的不太好)
It is obvious that amount of languageslarge amount of are disappearing or have been disappeared by observing the civilization of recent centuries in the river of history. In Africa, some particular languages of the tribes are being continued (这个表达怪怪的
languages are inherited from generations to generations 的意思吧)orally, there are no so called language systems, some of the languages are lost as time past away(passed by,
pass away
是挂了的意思,估计是听西城的歌听多了).

What are the causes of the disappearance of those languages? First and foremost, with the process of globalization, the world becomes much smaller. By using the computer and internet technology , people of different countries can have connection with each other without face by face. In order to communicate with others better, there supposed to be a so called standard language. The emergence of the standard language definitely has influence on the native language if the two languages have different language system.so what? 没论证完带来的后果,有影响是怎么就把原语言怎么了 On the other hand, most foreigners certainly do not tend to learn a language if the language itself is obscurely distinguished and hard to learn. Thirdly, it does no good to the spread of a language if the number of the native speaker is not huge enough.
From the analysis above, it is obvious that the government of these countries ought to take some actions to prevent the languages of their countries from disappearing. To begin with, regarding to the restriction of the native peoples, only the government has the power to take on the significant task. Secondly, a government is the symbol of one country, it has the responsibility to protect the culture of the country such as the special language.这里阐述政府的重要作用,论述可以展开点,如果你想论述government plays a essential role on this issue, 讲述语言对于政府来说的意义,政府的哪些措施已经帮助了语言的维持,说明了政府干预的重要性

Admittedly, excessive protection of the native language also does harm to the country itself even the whole world. In the process of the world’s development, the globalization is a significant part which needs the participation of all countries around the world. Extensive protection definitely has influence on the connection of the country with others so to the world’s globalization . Specifically, it also has impact on the development of the country by hindering the country’s communication with others. Even more, it may lead to the chauvinism which refers to the excessive or blind patriotism.
感觉在谈抽象的概念,没有什么具体的内容
承接的句子不错
Based on the discussion above, it is not hard to conclude that it is necessary for the government of the country which the native language is disappear gradually to act to prevent these languages from extinct. However, the action of the protection should not be excessive. Proper protection of these languages is benefit to both the world and the country itself.

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发表于 2009-6-7 11:13:17 |只看该作者
颜色出了点问题,呵呵。

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RE: 0910AW 同主题写作第一期 ISSUE13 by currycat [修改]

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0910AW 同主题写作第一期 ISSUE13 by currycat
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-959502-1-1.html
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