0910G[North America Flying] Issue13 by Rainyashley

rainyashleyUID：2538965

这是我的第一篇ISSUE，写了两个半小时，提纲很详细，是在计时之前写好的 翻了字典。。。
大家来拍砖吧，写得我快吐了！
自知有一坨语法错误。。。。

ISSUE13（我的第一篇I）



It is said that where there is a language appeared, there is a kind of culture will be transmitted. Deeply historical accumulation must exist behind the language. Equally, if what a language is disappeared means there nearly have no opportunities to learn about the culture which the language represented. Actually, many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost because of less people using. In order to prevent the local language and then advance the society, the government of countries in which these languages are spoken should take some efficient measures to prevent the extincted languages.



Some reasons such as the development of the global economics and politics, the trend of globalization are responsible for the effect that some lesser-known language are being lost. With Columbus discovered America in 1492 and the world factory has been founded after the first industrial revolution, countries begun to combine with each other. The relationship which changed in every countries and districts in the world makes the situations on which the languages depends have thorough changed, too. The society which is closed before had to communicate with others after the great change so that there appeared some distinct conventions in expressing ideas. In order to decrease the differences, people would give up one language and then adapt to the other language which is spoken by more people or easy to communicating. As the time goes on,  the language that is less using will be thrown away through generation by generation.



In addition, colonization cannot be ignored that is contribute to the extinction of the lesser-known language. Once colonized, the aggressor had forced the colonized country to use their language as the local official language or even the first language, consider the example that India that was colonized by England use English as their first language. Moreover, the migrant is another reason for eliminating the feeble language.



Languages are represent for their local culture, they have value for the existence. One language which was disappeared means that the government of country in which the language is spoken has no abilities to control the society, not to mention the advancement that the government had promised for their citizens. It can get a conclusion without doubts that the government will break up soon and even the culture of the nation will disappear in the history. So those governments whose local language is at the edge of extinction should act to prevent such languages. They can offer good environment and sufficient money to support the professional to devote their life to study and research the language. Maybe it cannot let more people using the language, but it can at least make sure that the language cannot disappeara as a kind of the intangible culture heritage in human history.



To some extent, the government can also encourage the local people to communicate with each other in their own language when there is no necessary for local people to connect with those people who speak another language from other country. For instance, China, which has 55 minority nations that almost every nation has their dialect, encourage people preserve their own language although the government is advising people to speak standard Chinese in public. Anyway, I think they are not contradictory at all. As the mass media is so developed today, the government can depend on the local media to make some programs,
TV series in order to let people learn about the quintessence of their own language rather than contempt the dialect or even think the dialect is out-of-date. Some competition with money encouragement can be hold by government or media which can stimulate more and more people speak and transmit dialect. But it will be
finally convert from passive preserve to prevent initiative.



Of course, language is used to communicate and express ideas and information. It will be washed out when it is not appropriate for the society's development or even be an obstacle to the society. So, expanding the using people is not the only way to prevent the language, but studying, researching and then inheriting the languages as a kind of culture and history is the another way to preserve them.     




（用时：2小时30分  字数：694  日期：09.6.2）

greenxsUID：2529289

It is said that where there is a language appeared, there is a kind of culture will be transmitted. Deeply historical accumulation must exist behind the language. Equally,（ if what） a language （is） disappeared means there nearly have （这两个词不能同时出现在句）no opportunities to learn about the culture which the language represented. Actually, many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost because of less people using them. In order to prevent the local language and （then ）advance the society, the government of countries in which these languages are spoken should take some efficient measures to prevent the languages being extinct.
Some reasons such as the development of the global economics and politics, the trend of globalization are responsible for the effect that some lesser-known languages are being lost. With Columbus discovered America in 1492 and the world factory has been founded after the first industrial revolution, countries begun to combine with each other. The relationship which changed in every countries and districts in the world makes the situations on which the languages depends have thorough changed, too. The society which is closed before had to communicate with others after the great change so that there appeared some distinct conventions in expressing ideas. In order to decrease the differences, people would( have to)give up one(their) languages and then adapt to the other language which is spoken by more people( or easy to communicating). As the time goes on,  the language that is less using will be thrown away through generation by generation.
In addition, colonization cannot be ignored that is contributed to the extinction of the lesser-known language. Once colonized, the aggressor had forced the colonized country to use their language as the local official language or even the first language, consider the example that India (that) was colonized by England use English as their first language. Moreover, the migrant is another reason for eliminating the feeble language.
是不是讲了太多的语言是如何消失的问题了，应该多写点保护的
Languages are represent for their local culture, they have value for the existence. One language which was disappeared means that the government of country in which the language is spoken has no abilities to control the society, not to mention the advancement that the government had promised for their citizens. It can get a conclusion without doubts that the government will break up soon and even the culture of the nation will disappear in the history. So those governments whose local language is at the edge of extinction should act to prevent such languages. They can offer good environment and sufficient money to support the professional 专业的什么，没有名次to devote their life to study and research the language. Maybe it cannot let more people using the language, but it can at least make sure that the language cannot disappear as a kind of the intangible culture heritage in human history.
To some extent, the government can also encourage the local people to communicate with each other in their own language when there is no necessary for local people to connect with those people who speak another language from other country. 这句话最好能分开说For instance, China, which has 55 minority nations that almost every nation has their dialect, encourage people preserve their own language although the government is advising people to speak standard Chinese in public. Anyway, I think they are not contradictory at all. As the mass media is so developed today, the government can depend on the local media to make some programs, TV series in order to let people learn about the quintessence of their own language rather than contempt the dialect or even think the dialect is out-of-date. Some competition with money encouragement can be hold by government or media which can stimulate more and more people speak and transmit dialect. But it will be finally convert from passive preserve to
prevent initiative（这个需用形容词）.
Of course, language is used to communicate and express ideas and information. It will be washed out when it is not appropriate for the society's development or even be an obstacle to the society. So, expanding the using people is not the only way to prevent the language, but studying, researching and then inheriting the languages as a kind of culture and history is （the） another way to preserve them.
第一篇i的话写的不错哦，前面的小语种重要和如何消失的可以写的再概括一些，结尾最好总结一下上面所说的再提一下建议

欢迎回改，俺在你的楼上O(∩_∩)O~
1# rainyashley

gutinglizzyUID：2470184

It is said that where there is a language appeared, there is a kind of culture will be transmitted. Deeply historical accumulation must exist behind the language. Equally, if what a language is(去到is) disappeared means there nearly have no opportunities to learn about the culture which the language represented（embodied）. Actually, many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost because of less people using（要么是people’s using 或者using it）. In order to prevent （preserve）the local language and then advance the society, the government of countries in which these languages are spoken should take some efficient measures to prevent the extincted languages（prevent the language from being extinction比较好点吧）.

Some reasons such as the development of the global economics and politics, the trend of globalization(总觉得这个such as后面有点问题，呵呵) are responsible for the effect that some lesser-known language（languages） are being lost. With （用as吧）Columbus discovered America in 1492 and the world factory has been founded after the first industrial revolution, countries begun to combine with each other. The relationship which changed in every countries and districts in the world makes the situations on which the languages depends have thorough(thoroughly) changed, too. The society which is closed （我知道你这里要表达的意思，但我觉得可能不是用closed吧）before had to communicate with others after the great change so that there appeared some distinct conventions in expressing ideas. In order to decrease the differences, people would give up one language and then adapt to the other language which is spoken by more people or easy to communicating(communicate). As the time goes on,  the language that is less using will be thrown away through generation by generation.
(文中给出的例子挺好的)

In addition, colonization cannot be ignored that is contribute （which contributes）to the extinction of the lesser-known language. Once colonized, the aggressor had forced the colonized country to use their language as the local official language or even the first language, consider the example that India that was colonized by England use English as their first language. Moreover, the migrant is another reason for eliminating the feeble language.(可以在后面加个小例子)

Languages are represent for their local culture, （加个and）they have value for the existence. One language which was disappeared means that the government of country in which the language is spoken has no abilities to control the society, not to mention the advancement that the government had promised for their citizens. It can get a conclusion without doubts that the government will break up soon and even the culture of the nation will disappear in the history. So those governments whose local language is at the edge of extinction should act to prevent （preserve）such languages. They can offer good environment and sufficient money to support the professional to devote their life to study and research the language. Maybe it cannot let more people using the language, but it can at least make sure that the language cannot disappeara as a kind of the intangible culture heritage in human history.

To some extent, the government can also encourage the local people to communicate with each other in their own language when there is no necessary for local people to connect with those people who speak another language from other country. For instance, China, which has 55 minority nations that almost every nation has their dialect, encourage people preserve their own language although the government is advising people to speak standard Chinese in public. Anyway, I think they are not contradictory at all. As the mass media is so developed today, the government can depend on the local media to make some programs, TV series in order to let people learn about the quintessence of their own language rather than contempt the dialect or even think the dialect is out-of-date. Some competition with money encouragement can be hold by government or media which can stimulate more and more people speak and transmit dialect. But it will be
finally convert from passive preserve to prevent initiative.

Of course, language is used to communicate and express ideas and information. It will be washed out when it is not appropriate for the society's development or even be an obstacle to the society. So, expanding the using people is not the only way to prevent the language, but studying, researching and then inheriting the languages as a kind of culture and history is the another way to preserve them.     

总结：全文首先给出小语种的消失的原因，然后是语言对于文化的重要性，最后给出政府应该采取的措施，同时在最后一段小小转了一下，总的来说全文结构框架清晰。只是部分的句子表达地并不是很清楚，虽然长句子挺好的，但是如果用的不是那么地道，那么流畅有时候会让人觉得有些不清楚。另外某些地方的用词不是很准确。其实我一直也是苦恼于这些问题，呵呵。好啦，这只是我的浅见。写得挺好的。

rainyashleyUID：2538965

3# gutinglizzy


改过之后的文章（红色字体是我改正的）
It is said that where there is a language appeared, there is a kind of culture will be transmitted. Deeply historical accumulation must exist behind the language. Equally,
a language disappeared means there are no opportunities to learn about the culture which the language represented (embodied). Actually, many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost because of less people using them. In order to preserve the local language and advance the society, the government of countries in which these languages are spoken should take some efficient measures to prevent the languages being extinct.


Some reasons such as the development of the global economics and politics, the trend of globalization are responsible for the effect that some lesser-known languages are being lost. As Columbus  discovered America in 1492 and the world factory has been founded after the first industrial revolution, countries begun to combine with each other. The relationship which changed in every country and district in the world makes the situations on which the languages depend have thorough changed, too. The society which is closed before had to communicate with others after the great change so that there appeared some distinct conventions in expressing ideas. In order to decrease the differences, people have to give up their languages and then adapt to the other language which is spoken by more people. As the time goes on, the language that is less using will be thrown away through generation by generation.

In addition, colonization cannot be ignored that is contributed to the extinction of the lesser-known languages. Once colonized, the aggressor had forced the colonized country to use their language as the local official language or even the first language, consider the example that India, which was colonized by England, used English as their first language. Moreover, the migrant is another reason for eliminating the feeble language.

Languages are represent for their local culture, and they have value for the existence. One language disappeared means that the government of country in which the language is spoken has no abilities to control the society, not to mention the advancement that the government had promised for their citizens. It can get a conclusion without doubts that the government will break up soon and even the culture of the nation will disappear in the history. So those governments whose local language is at the edge of extinction should act to prevent such languages. They can offer good environment and sufficient money to support the professional to devote their life to study and research the language. Maybe it cannot let more people using the language, but it can at least make sure that the language cannot disappear as a kind of the intangible culture heritage in human history.


To some extent, the government can also encourage the local people to communicate with each other in their own language, when it is no necessary for local people to connect with other people, who speak another language from another country. For instance, China, which has 55 minority nations that almost every nation has their dialect, encourage people preserve their own language although the government is advising people to speak standard Chinese in public. Anyway, I think they are not contradictory at all. As the mass media is so developed today, the government can depend on the local media to make some programs, TV series in order to let people learn more about the quintessence of their own language rather than contempt the dialect or even think the dialect is out-of-date. Some competition with money encouragement can be hold by government or media which can stimulate more and more people speak and transmit dialect. But it will be finally converted from passive preserve to prevent initiative.


Of course, language is used to communicate and express ideas and information. It will be washed out when it is not appropriate for the society's development or even be an obstacle to the society. So, expanding the using people is not the only way to prevent the language, but studying, researching and then inheriting the languages as a kind of culture and history is another way to preserve them.

存在的问题： 讲语言消失的原因过多。 在移民导致文化交流和融合部分没有例子。 最后结尾的时候应该总结前面提到的政府应该采取的措施。 长句子表达不是很清。
写作中的问题：词汇不熟 （想不起来的 不会拼写的） 专属表达不会。 语言组织。 素材缺乏。 时间长