作文贴 求狠拍 by Vicky

starbigstarUID：2855966

I'm afraid I can't agree with the statement that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits. Actually I think the most important cause of them is the busy life, not the advertising which is just a manner of propaganda. As everybody knows, most people live a busy life either they want to or they have to. How could it lead to unhealthy eating habits? Let me portray some reasons below.

Firstly, the busy life make people, especially the office people and the students,have less time to enjoy their meals. They have to finish their meal as quickly as they can, so that they can have more time to endure finishing their on-hand working on time, or they just want to have more time to do what they need to spend more time on. To cite an example, when the final examinations are coming around, I'm so busy.So I usually take a sandwich or some bread or even a box of milk as my lunch or supper, in order not have to walk a long way to the students' canteen and spend much time on my eating. This fast eating habit, however, make us absorb more calories and it's easy to make us obesity which is too bad for our condition.

Secondly, they busy life make people have their meals irregularly. Because when people is living a busy life, they usually feel there is no enough time left to complete something. They would like to lessen their time for sleeping and stay up late for their work. For instance, my family and my classmate are usually make ourselves in that situations. And that action probably cause to have an extra meal during the night. As experts said, that extra meal which is puting more burden on our stomach can cause some stomach disease and the obesity.


Last but not least, the busy life drive people having their meals while they are working on something related to their important work. Students are eating while reading. Investors are eating as well as checking their item or information of their investment. Musicians do some eating and thinking about their performance or songs at the same time. That bad eating habit can let our stomach has less oxygen in blood to digest the food as our brain is using most of  the blood absorbed in much oxygen.

So I come up with the conclusion that the busy life is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.

dy008UID：2284812

小修改

gougouhencaiUID：2778821

不好意思啊   来晚了   请原谅  我也是个菜鸟

starbigstarUID：2855966

August 3rd, 2010.



Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.




In this morden society, money plays an important role. You won't be able to achieve everything with money, but you will achieve nothing without money. Since I realize the importance of money, I don't agree with the statement that a job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time. Most people in the society are ordinary. Well, as an ordinary person let me show you some reasons.

First of all, nowadays if you want to do something, you have to save enough money. To cite an example, if you want to go on a vacation, you need to pay for your airplane, train, or bus tickets .You,besides, have to spend an amount of money on your hotel, meals, resorts, souvenirs and so on. So how could this happen and how can you enjoy your vacation more? You need to have enough money. On the contrary, if you don have enough money, maybe during the vacation you can only stay at home ,watching DVDs, playing computers and doing something which don't cost much. In a long term, that kind of vacation means no fun and no passion. So there comes the question how can you know the money is enough? It's quite difficult. We only can conclude that  the more, the better.

Second, less vacation doesn't mean no vacation. As you have already get more salary, so there will be more to spend on unit vacation time, which almost means you can have more fun or enjoy more advanced things meanwhile. For instance, in one week, if you work three days earning 300RMBs, the rest four days of the week will share what you have earned in the early three days, which means you can only spend 75RMBs each days. Maybe watching a movie in cinema or having a bigger meal than usual is what you can do to add more highlights in your life. And when you go shopping, you have to think more about whether the money is enough. That may not satisfy your needs. if, however, you work five days a week with 500RMBs incomes, at the weekend you can spend 250RMBs each day. You can purchase more things at the same prices in the former situation, or you can also have a nice trip in the nearby city. I believe that would probably give you more sense of gratification.

In addition, more salary not only means living more comfortable, having better choices for eating, but also means giving a hand to who needs your donations. You know, when you can just support you own life, you don't have spare time to care about others' lives. Nevertheless, as you have more money, you can live a enjoyable life, as well as make a contribution to a charity. And once you do you favour to who need help,the immaterial rewards, such as the reputation from the society and the appreciation from the person who accepts your help, will surely give a rise to your self-realization.

flywindingUID：2547694

In this morden (modern) society, money plays an important role. You won't be able to achieve everything with money, but you will achieve nothing without money. Since I realize the importance of money, I don't agree with the statement that a job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time. Most people in the society are ordinary. Well, as an ordinary person let me show you some reasons.(ps.个人感觉ordinary people 和reason 关系不是很密切)# L()3 R; Z- D( Q) e4 s
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First of all, nowadays（这个词在正式场合最好不要用）if you want to do something, you have to save enough money. To cite an example, if you want to go on a vacation, you need to pay for your airplane, train, or bus tickets .You, besides, have to spend an amount of money on your hotel, meals, resorts, souvenirs and so on. So how could this happen and how can you enjoy your vacation more? You need to have enough money. On the contrary, if you don (do not) have enough money, maybe during the vacation you can only stay at home ,watching DVDs, playing computers and doing something which don't cost much. In a long term, that kind of vacation means no fun and no passion. So there comes the question how can you know the money is enough? It's quite difficult. We only can conclude that  the more, the better.
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Second, less vacation doesn't mean no vacation. As you have already get more salary, so there will be more to spend on [url=]unit([/url][TD1]
vacation time, which almost means you can have more fun or enjoy more advanced things meanwhile. For instance, in one week, if you work three days earning 300RMBs, the rest four days of the week will share what you have earned in the early three days, which means you can only spend 75RMBs each days. Maybe watching a movie in cinema or having a bigger meal than usual is what you can do to add more highlights in your life. And when you go shopping, you have to think more about whether the money is enough. That may not [url=]satisfy[/url][TD2]
your needs. if, however, you work five days a week with 500RMBs incomes, at the weekend you can spend 250RMBs each day. You can purchase more things at the same prices in the former situation, or you can also have a nice trip in the nearby city. I believe that would probably give you more sense of gratification.4 X& [9 m0 x7 {0 @3 H
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In addition, more salary not only means living more comfortable, having better choices for eating, but also means giving a hand to who needs your donations. You know, when you can just support you own life, you don't have spare time to care about others' lives. Nevertheless, as you have more money, you can live a enjoyable life, as well as make a contribution to a charity. [url=]And once you do you favour to who need help,[/url][TD3] the immaterial rewards, such as the reputation from the society and the appreciation from the person who accepts your help, will surely give a rise to your self-realization.

I am sorry I could not use Chinese to comment your writing, because I had to change to use a computer without Chinese input.
In my opinion, you should change the order of paragraph 3 and 4. Because paragraph 2 and 4 all talk about money. However, during the two paragraphs, there is another paragraph referring to the weakness of less time for vocation. In this way, I think your writing will be more smooth.


[TD1]do not know what are you going to express with this word



[TD2](probably you can use a more suitable word here)



[TD3]maybe you can ask someone else to check with this sentence

伶女UID：2797207

谢谢评语呢，以下是个人意见：）

伶女UID：2797207

评语很在理～～～非常感谢:)

starbigstarUID：2855966

August 5th, 2010.



Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.



Currently younger school children have various of classes, such as math, science, history, language, art, music and so on. Why does ministry of education ordain schools to open so many kinds of classes? As far as they concerned, that must be reasonable. Also, I totally agree with the action and Younger school children should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language. Now let me give you some reasons.



First of all, I deem that younger school children's brains need more external stimulation so that they can develop faster and better, so one of what the society is able to provide for younger school children is the different classes. As you know, most of the problems we've meet in our life is very complicated but would need to use the deep technological knowledge. So after receiving these classes ,It may be faster and better for younger school children to improve their thinking, which benefits the coming up of the their settlements to some problems they've faced.



Second, when children are young they may not keep their attention one thing very long.As one report said, an eight-year-old children can only concentrate on one thing for average fifteen minutes. So it's no longer difficult to understand why teachers often let their low grade pupils in primary school take a break during the class time. They just want their pupils to concentrate on the rest half class. So teaching younger school children more kinds of classes can make a contribution to the diversity in their learning procedures and their attention on one thing won't need to last long.



Last but not least, receiving art and music for younger school children can raise their level of aesthetics and appreciation for art and music. Besides, the earlier they come into contact with art and music, the more chance for parents or someone else can find out the children's interests. Nevertheless, they can give a hand to improving the younger school children's interests on art, music, math, science or whatever. With the longer time the children spend on their interests, he or she can probably do better than other's in the fields.

yylbjUID：2764695

Currently younger school children have various of(可以去掉)classes, such as math, science, history, language, art, music and so on. Why does ministry of education ordain schools to open so many kinds of classes?（感觉有点别扭，不知道你的表达是否地道） As far as they concerned, that must be reasonable. （这句话有点多余）Also,
I totally agree with the action and Younger school children should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language. Now let me give you some reasons.(for the following reasons)

First of all, I deem that younger school(去掉) children's brains need more external stimulation so that they can develop faster and better, so one of what the society is able to provide for younger school children is the different classes. As you know, most of the problems we've meet in our life is very complicated but would need to use the deep technological knowledge. So after receiving these classes ,It may be faster and better重复了 for younger school children to improve their thinking, which benefits the coming up of the their settlements to some problems they've faced. 个人觉得开发大脑这个理由没有很好和题目结合，另外就是逻辑上好像有点混乱，句式构词上需要练习，多用名词性质的词组句子。

Second, when children are young they may not keep their attention one thing very long.（Young as these children, they cannot pay their attention on one thing for a long time）As one report said, an eight-year-old children can only concentrate on one thing for average fifteen minutes. So it's no longer difficult to understand why teachers often let their low grade pupils in primary school take a break during the class time. They just want their pupils to concentrate on the rest half class.例子不切题，要举例说不同学科的学习有助于转换思维，既符合孩子的注意力在一件事上不能集中太久又能学到更多知识，而不是进一步说明孩子注意力的问题 So teaching younger school children more kinds of classes can make a contribution to the diversity in their learning procedures and their attention on one thing won't need to last long.' ?$ h8 s) }/ v- c6 p# l

Last but not least, receiving art and music for younger school children can raise their level of aesthetics and appreciation for art and music. Besides, the earlier they come into contact with art and music, the more chance for parents or someone else can find out the children's interests. Nevertheless,尽管如此？这里不是转折关系吧 they can give a hand to improving the younger school children's interests on art, music, math, science or whatever. With the longer time the children spend on their interests, he or she can probably do better than other's in the fields
差一段结尾。
个人建议：例子深化，理好逻辑关系，还有遣词造句

flywindingUID：2547694

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.


: ~) F; t1 V- V
Currently younger school children have various of classes, such as math, science, history, language, art, music and so on. Why does ministry of education ordain schools to open（这个词感觉在这不合适） so many kinds of classes? As far as they concerned, that must be reasonable. Also, I totally agree with the action and Younger school children should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language. （这块最好换一些词，不要和题目一样）Now let me give you some reasons.

. @8 M% T/ D) F6 T8 f8 }

First of all, I deem that younger school children's brains need more external stimulation so that they can develop faster and better, so one of what the society is able to provide for younger school children is the different（all kinds of） classes. As you know, most of the problems we've meet in our life is very complicated but would need to use the deep technological knowledge. So after receiving these classes ,It may be faster and better for younger school children to improve their thinking, which benefits the coming up of the their settlements to some problems they've faced.(这句话我没看明白)


  M1 u% a) O% P* r% t  ]" L$ V! y
Second, when children are young they may not keep their attention one thing very long（on the same thing for long time）.As one report said, an eight-year-old children can only concentrate on one thing for average fifteen minutes. So it's no longer difficult to understand why teachers often let their low grade pupils in primary school take a break during the class time. They just want their pupils to concentrate on the rest half class. So teaching younger school children more kinds of classes can make a contribution to the diversity in their learning procedures and their attention on one thing won't need to last long.(后半句怎么看都有点问题)
9 z" L! x5 ~1 o" q
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Last but not least, receiving art and music for younger school children can raise their level of aesthetics and appreciation for art and music. Besides, the earlier they come into contact with art and music, the more chance for parents or someone else can find out the children's interests. Nevertheless, （能用转折?）they can give a hand to improving the younger school children's interests on art, music, math, science or whatever. With the longer time the children spend on their interests, he or she can probably do better than other's in the fields.(感觉最后一句话意思是在兴趣上花的时间越长，就比别人做的越好？感觉这句话还是有点问题)


感觉没上篇写的好哈，加油！

梦的弃儿UID：2840846

请查收……
请Vicky也狠拍小夕的文~~

starbigstarUID：2855966

August 7th,2010.


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.


In recent years, there is a heated debate on whether college student should take part-time jobs or not while studying. Some people, especially the students'parents, may probably have a firm thought that even for college students, study should also come to the first in their life, so they need to pay all attention on their study. Others, however, may probably hold the opinion that students in college are adults, they need to know something about the society, which can make a contribution to their adaptation in the society after graduation. As far as I concerned, I totally agree with the latter one. Not only because the reason mentioned above, but also because the following reasons.

First of all, I deem that taking a part-time job can do some help to broad college students' horizon. As taking a part-time joy, they are more likely to meet many types of people, good or bad , kind or tough, etc. than in campus. But you know what? when they get in touch with these people, they can gain some experience and even conclude the ways to make a contact with diffirent people, maybe after they have got some lessons. Well that won't matter. what's more, when during the procedure of working, they can learn more about the practical things which cannot probably get in schools. To cite an example, last semester I received a part-time job in the campus store as a seller. One day a comsumer cannot find what she wanted here, so she started to complaint this for a long time. As our principle is listen to consumers, try our best, meet reasonable requirements, and hang up smiles, meanwhile all of the students working here still held a smiling face, and I try to calm her down and let her demonstrate her requirements to see if we could do her a favor. Finally it came to a happy ending.



Second, taking a part-time job can help them realize more about their strong points and make use of them. See, if college students take a tutor as a part-time job. After they teach for several times, they probably will know whether it is appropriate for them to do a job similar to this in the future. The same thing happen to a seller, an assistant etc. Take my roomate for example, when we were freshmen in college, we didn't have many courses to take. So she find a part-time job, as a tutor for a senior one students, to help him with his mathmatics. Two months passed over, after she tried, she still felt it is onerous to make herself understood. So she quit this job and look for another one. Now she is one of the assistants in the school libriary. Since she has a good memory and is quite familiar with the Deway Decimal System, she is skilled in finding right positions and organizing the books. As a result, she became one of the most efficent assistants there. See, that's why I said a part-time job can make you know more about your potentials and make use of them.



Last but not least, a partime job can give college students a sense of success and make them life more enjoyable. Imaging this when they finish to cope with something difficult and get the salaries belonging to them. Girls can buy some new coats, purchase more make-ups. Boys can chat with their friends as well as drink beers with friends. All the expense are coming from their hardwording not parents. How happy they are for they add more enjoyable thing in life without enhancing the burdon of their parents. All the actions can develop a joyful mood, which has a positive effect on their study or other things.

nunulongUID：2172898

你好，作文已修改，请查收，水平有限，请包涵！

nunulongUID：2172898

感谢starbigstar认真的修改和意见，谢谢！

starbigstarUID：2855966

August 14th,2010.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.

Everybody, even children, has its own thoughts. But you know, currently there are a large portion of parents forcing their children to do things. To cite an example of my younger cousin, she is only six years old and she will enter the primary school this autumn. She, however, is forced to learn to play the piano for almost one year. Because her parents got to know that it's better for their little daughter to have a special skill as early as possible. So there will be homework from school and practice assignments from piano teacher waiting for my younger cousin soon in the future. But I can see that she is not so happy. Actually, I believe children need to learn something when they are young, but not in constraint. What I mean is children should play the main role in picturing their own future and what parents need to do is just give a hand.

For starters, making their own choices can help develop the ways of children's thinking. When children make decisions, they must thinking about the preparation work, the procedures and the results, not only according to their moods. However, they may not take as much things as parents do into account. At this time, parents need to list the factors and the influence they think and explain them to their children, so that children can learn from adults' considerations. In the course of learning, it will make the children's thinking more meticulous.

Besides, making their own choices can help develop the children's sense of responsibility. As a man in the world, he must be responsible for his actions. So if parents determine their children's future and they are not as satisfied as they used to hope, both the parents and the children will feel regrets. Even the children may complain this and pass the buck to their parents. Well, now let's imagine the children make their own choices. We all hope they do a good job. But if they fail to achieve their goals, they have no one to be blamed. As a result, they have to take responsibility by themselves and seek for the reasons why they fail on themselves.

What's more, nobody wants to hold back their desires to do things they like. If children are forced to do certain things they aren't interested in, they may not feel happy, which will do harm to the development of their characteristics and actions. For instance, Once when I saw my cousin paying an piano, suddenly she stopped and lose her temper. She shouted at her parents, "it's too boring and too tired to do this again and again. I've been sitting here, playing the same episode for about one hour!" Then she quikely went to her bedroom and shut the door, ignoring what her parents said to her. Her tears loomed in her eyes. Oh my poor younger cousin. That period my little cousin became a person with badtemper.