daily writing by zhen

zhennuptUID: 2748934

第一次写, 多多包涵, 谢谢大家帮助.

3/14独立:

In China, there abound with advertisements and statements from various local companies to encourage people to buy homemade products for the purpose of supporting and stimulating the development of national enterprise. Yet either from the interests of ourselves or from long-term development of local business, we should, instead, buy things according to the rules of markets regardless where things are produced.

As rational consumers in a fully economic market, we choose what is worthy to buy based on many factors that more than mere producing area. In fact, the aim of a consumer, just as that of a company, is to maximize the interest while meeting the basic needs. Generally, the character of a product that we concern most and is of most importance is the quality. It is ridiculous to buy an inferior thing just because it is made by a local company. It is also not wise to refuse products of high quality and of low price that are not coming from the homeland.

Nevertheless, some people may argue that it is a patriotic behavior to exclusively choose products made in the homeland, which could, in their eyes, boost the local business and strength the local economic. However, the opposite is actually the truth. A viable economic system lies in the opening level of the market and its competition.  Unfair competition, which in this case is caused by the unfairly selective buying, can only lead to chaotic market and be detrimental to both the local companies and the local citizens. What the world would be if all people choose to buy local productions? The local factories and companies will raise the price as they pleased since they are guaranteed a favored market; the advanced technology and innovative products from foreign countries cannot be brought in and improve the local living standard due to the economic barrier, and by contrast, the local business may lose the creativity and productivity; the economic markets will be eventually isolated resulting in the return of the ancient times. Refusing to accept the foreign products is by no means patriotic. The consequent closed economic system do harms to the healthy development of the economics and is against the principle of the modern economics.

Therefore, the best way to contribute to local industry is to do what a rational consumer should--buy what is best rather than what is local.

综合:
The professor speaking in the lecture disputes the proposed statement that a four-day workweek would benefit both the employees and employers.

First, the professor did not think the working pattern of a four-day week will not increase or even decrease the costs of a company. Instead, hiring more staff does not only mean more salary one company have to pay, it also require other possible large costs such as the training costs and paying for medical care planning, which will not be reduced as the decreasing working hours. Moreover, there should be more working places and other office facilities like computers, all of which will accordingly cut down the profits.

Second, contradictory to what is proposed in the passage that the policy will reduce the unemployment rate, it is not likely that the employers will hire more people because they have more choices besides adding new staffs. It is possible that the employees will be asked to do in four days’ work that had been required to accomplish in five days before.  So, to avoid increase the costs resulted by more staffs, the employers can increase the work load and have higher expectation, which in turn would bring about  strains to the workers and make them unpleasant.

Finally, the quality of workers' life is also not necessarily improved. Those employees who choose to work for four days face higher risks of losing the job and may be more unlikely to be promoted compared to others working for full five days.

daisy8936UID: 2999019

1# zhennupt

In China, there(there一般与be连用才表示“有”不适合直接加谓语动词吧？) abound with advertisements and statements from various local companies to encourage（最高改成advertisements and statements from various local companies encourages，即去掉there abound with） people to buy homemade（国产的，好词！） products for the purpose of supporting and stimulating the development of national enterprise. Yet either from the interests of ourselves or from long-term development of local business, we should, instead, buy things according to the rules of markets regardless where things are produced.1 W% E! m+ V6 |- Y: p- V# k" b

) g  M6 k0 h4 l+ o% XAs rational consumers in a fully economic market, we choose what is worthy to buy based on many factors that more than mere producing area. In fact, the aim of a consumer, just as that of a company, is to maximize the interest while meeting the basic needs. Generally（最好改为Consequently,显得逻辑更清楚）, the character of a product that we concern most and is of most importance（有点重复，可去掉） is the quality and price(注意题目中提到price，应切题). It is ridiculous to buy an inferior thing just because it is made by a local company. It is also not wise to refuse products of high quality and of（重复，去掉） low price that are not coming from the homeland.
- e! \. P& V2 S' I# ?
8 B3 ]5 ~: U/ c, L; D+ h: gNevertheless, some people may argue that it is a patriotic behavior to exclusively choose products made in the homeland, which could, in their eyes, boost the local business and strength the local economic. However, the opposite is actually the truth.（这种表达好像有点中国式，最好改成However, things don’t work like that） A viable economic system lies in the opening level of the market and its competition.  Unfair competition, which in this case is caused by the unfairly selective buying, can only lead to chaotic market and be detrimental to both the local companies and the local citizens. What the world would be if all people choose to buy local productions?(可去掉) The local factories and companies will raise the price as they pleased since they are guaranteed a favored market; the advanced technology and innovative products from foreign countries cannot be brought in and improve the local living standard due to the economic barrier, and by contrast, the local business may lose the creativity and productivity; the economic markets will be eventually isolated resulting in the return of the ancient times（这个表述好像有点夸张，是返古吗？可以考虑去掉）. Refusing to accept the foreign products is by no means patriotic. The consequent closed economic system do harms to the healthy development of the economics and is against the principle of the modern economics.6 a/ M$ V& c5 {0 c

6 H2 [. f# V$ m: ?% PTherefore, the best way to contribute to local industry is to do what a rational consumer should -- （英语中破折号好像需要前后空格，感觉破折号比较容易出错，慎用）buy what is best rather than what is local.( G: w6 {/ c2 u7 |" `

词汇量不错，但是感觉思路还是中国式的，因此会刻意使用一些很难的词语去试图把自己脑海里的中国式表达翻译成英文，这样不仅增加了难度而且使得逻辑不是很清晰，不如选择一些其他更容易展开的论点。另外字数过多，恐怕考场上时间会不够用，感觉每一段有5-7个长句就足够了，最好多看看OG的例文，加油！

zhennuptUID: 2748934

2# daisy8936
谢谢. 的确, 这篇文章是超时的而且图中查了两次字典.
另外, 居中破折号好像并不需要空格.

好像我和你分开不是一个组了, 在帖子中没有更新, 群中说的, 因为有另一个人加入了.

谢谢. 加油.

daisy8936UID: 2999019

3# zhennupt

哦，这样子，呵呵，破折号我也拿不准用法，一起加油啦~

CoryanUID: 2993557

改好啦~~
In China, there用there be更舒服一些吧 abound with advertisements and statements from various local companies to encourage people to buy homemade products for the purpose of supporting and stimulating the development of national enterprise. 第一句话好像太长了哎。。。。。。读起来很费力Yet either from the interests of ourselves or from long-term development of local business, we should, instead, buy things according to the rules of markets regardless where things are produced.
9 c6 y- j1 p) l: y
As rational consumers in a fully economic market, we choose what is worthy to buy based on many factors that more than mere producing area. In fact, the aim of a consumer, just as that of a company, is to maximize the interest while meeting the basic needs. Generally, the character of a product that we concern most and is of most importance is the quality. It is ridiculous to buy an inferior thing just because it is made by a local company. It is also not wise to refuse products of high quality and of low price that are not coming from the homeland. + F; f1 e3 }' d* S2 s
- M% m$ Z* a: P; h: k- x8 t
Nevertheless, some people may argue that it is a patriotic behavior to exclusively choose products made in the homeland, which could, in their eyes, boost the local business and strength the local economic. However, the opposite is actually the truth. A viable economic system lies in the opening level of the market and its competition.  Unfair competition, which in this case is caused by the unfairly selective buying, can only lead to chaotic market and be detrimental to both the local companies and the local citizens. What the world would be if all people choose to buy local productions? The local factories and companies will raise the price as they please since they are guaranteed a favored market; the advanced technology and innovative products from foreign countries cannot be brought in and improve the local living standard due to the economic barrier, and by contrast, the local business may lose the creativity and productivity; the economic markets will be eventually isolated resulting in the return of the ancient times. Refusing to accept the foreign products is by no means patriotic. The consequent closed economic system does harms to the healthy development of the economics and is against the principle of the modern economics.
6 W, l& @4 z) n4 s
Therefore, the best way to contribute to local industry is to do what a rational consumer should--buy what is best rather than what is local.

楼主，用词很地道哦~~不错，学到了很多~~缺点就是，整篇文章看上去逻辑有点儿纠结。。。。。读起来有点儿费劲儿= =！

zhennuptUID: 2748934

3.21
In today's fast-changing world with ever-increasing pace of living life and dazzling living and working styles, we deadly need have the ability to make good plans and the skills to addressissues in an organized way.

In contrast with the old days, even compared with the life a decade ago, we may be astonished by the effects of the advanced technology and economic development on our life. They improve our living standard, but at the same time distract our work and daily life. Image how large amount of time we spend on clattering with friends via instance message programs such as gtalk and msn, posting trifling complains in our Facebook homepages, endlessly arguing with others in the twiters. The advancement of Internet and corresponding web industry precisely interpret how the modern life is disturbed by the so-called high-tech applications. We can hardly acheive anything if no plan restrains ourselves. Whether in work or leisure time, a detailed plan, for example, one that regulate the time for online activities and have general or specific to-do lists, keeps us from being diverted, and make our progress visible and measurable, motivating us toward further goals.

Besides enabling us to focus on the important matters, plans and ability of organization allow us to proceed orderly and swiftly in combating with more than one tasks. Today, it is not uncommon that we are usually involved simultaneously
in several different affairs. More often than not, the college students, for example, are not exclusively indulged in performing academic research, they also pursue their leisure interests such as playing guitar and football, and participate in various of community or campus activities. All these involvements may be of the same importance, and how to allocate time for each of time and reconcile the possible resulting conflicts is therefore a critical problem. Plans can prevent students from being overwhelmed by them. Moreover, the organization skill keep all things ongoing in a predictive way and clearly boost the efficiency.

Admittedly, modern society also provide convenient tools such as many available knowledge management software facilitating analyzing and organizing different work and help us making sensible plans. However, they are merely complementary to our own work and does not shadow the increasing importance of organization ability.

crazyjooUID: 2805124

语言很棒，很多词连在一起了看不清啊。。 我觉得语言是优秀的，思维框架稍微欠缺（建议看范文） 还有一点比较致命就是中国人写作文也是 不喜欢写具体的例子 喜欢说大话（原谅我这样比喻），建议增加多点具体例子，这样比较好（本文例子篇幅是在有限） 欢迎回改我的作文！

zhennuptUID: 2748934

7# crazyjoo
谢谢. 连字的问题已经改好了.
其实写作的时候我的例子已经比较刻意具体了..
另外思维逻辑上的问题能能说明确一些的?

我在第二段主要说明现代社会的复杂之一就是生活更加丰富但也使人分心, plan和organization可以使人专注
第三段想表达的是现代社会往往要求人们同时处理多个事务, plan能力可以帮助协调
最后是想说明一下现代社会在一定程度上使人们作计划和组织更加容易了, 当是能力的重要性没有减弱. 由于时间原因, 这段草草结尾了.

zhennuptUID: 2748934

3.28
For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?


It is not exaggerated to state that education is vital for the long-term and sustainable development of a country, highly related to other aspects of the advancement like economic and scientific progresses. The financial support for education is always a major concern when government sets the budge, though it may not account a large part. Due to the limited resources available for government to dispose, the focus of educational investment, in my opinion, should be put on the young children education and the support for universities be second.

Children education is fundamental for the entire national education system. After all, the early age from seven to fifteen is the best time when an individual can digest and acquire knowledge most efficiently and that is the golden time for both intellectual and emotional development. Countries therefore surely need make the best effort to provide enough money for elementary and secondary schools so that they can invest them to attract the most motivated and learned teachers, offer students the best educational facilities and take research on how to improve the education quality. Whether the children can be well cultivated and be prepared for social life largely determines their qualities,their work abilities and the amount contribution they can make for the country. The achievement of learning in the young period also indicates the performing in the high level study such as research in universities. Therefore, the pivotal role that elementary education plays in the educational system and entire national development clearly require the most attention from the government.

Moreover, notice that not all people will attend the universities. In fact, many students choose to work rather than obtain bachelor or higher degree after graduation from high school, since the university education is not a requirement for successful achievements which can be learned from many celebrities such as Mark Zuckerberg who dropped off from the Harvard and only have high school degree. Thus the largest number of people will gain the benefits from the governmental investment on education if the government can focus its budget on children education rather than on universities.

Finally, compared with the financial source of elementary, secondary or high school, universities have far more approaches to obtain patrons. Through the collaboration with industries, they can get support from the enterprise. In contrast, how an elementary school that can barely make profits for companies, successfully persuade a company administrator to give money. Also, the laboratories and professors in a university can obtain financial support from government by taking academic research. Plus the donation from alumina, universities actually do not exclusively dependent on the governmental fund.

In conclusion, government should put their premium on schools from the elementary level, those that have no independent economic sources, to high level to lay a solid foundation for national education system and as well to benefit the mass rather than a small part of people attending universities.

qianhuangUID: 2766587

3.28 修改
写的非常好了，我没什么建议可以提。

sun3mayUID: 2574771

改3.28
For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities? ! }, i: T! y. i+ f


It is not exaggerated to state that education is vital for the long-term and sustainable development of a country, highly related to other aspects of the advancement like economic and scientific progresses. The financial support for education is always a major concern when government sets the budge, though it may not account a large part. Due to the limited resources available for government to dispose, the focus of educational investment, in my opinion, should be put on the young children education and the support for universities be second.

Children education is fundamental for the entire national education system. After all, the early age from seven to fifteen is the best time when an individual can digest and acquire knowledge most efficiently and that is the golden time for both intellectual and emotional development. Countries therefore surely need make the best effort to provide enough money for elementary and secondary schools so that they can invest them to attract the most motivated and learned teachers, offer students the best educational facilities and take research on how to improve the education quality. Whether the children can be well cultivated and be prepared for social life largely determines their qualities,their work abilities and the amount contribution they can make for the country. The achievement of learning in the young period also indicates the performing in the high level study such as research（es） in universities. Therefore, the pivotal role that elementary education plays in the educational system and entire national development clearly require the most attention from the government.
% ~# {& w; d7 i+ |5 ?5 z7 b- k
Moreover, notice that not all people will attend the universities. In fact, many students choose to work rather than obtain bachelor or higher degree after graduation from high school, since the university education is not a requirement for successful achievements which can be learned from many celebrities such as Mark Zuckerberg who dropped off from the Harvard and only have high school degree. Thus the largest number of people will gain the benefits from the governmental investment on education if the government can focus its budget on children education rather than on universities. 5 p. }  Q! W& L* J/ r; H

Finally, compared with the financial source of elementary, secondary or high school, universities have far more approaches to obtain patrons. Through the collaboration with industries, they can get support from the enterprise. In contrast, how an elementary school that can barely make profits for companies, successfully persuade a company administrator to give money. Also, the laboratories and professors in a university can obtain financial support from government by taking academic research. Plus the donation from alumina, universities actually do not exclusively dependent on the governmental fund." （）




|+ F6 |( z# A# Z
! h4 G( c( @3 j+ ^6 r6 |& {
In conclusion, government should put their premium on schools from the elementary level, those that have no independent economic sources, to high level to lay a solid foundation for national education system and as well to benefit the mass rather than a small part of people attending universities.


整篇文章的思路挺好的，语言也不错，基本没啥可挑的。第一段的论述很漂亮，内容很充实。
白天学校有课，改晚了，抱歉~

zhennuptUID: 2748934

329 综合

lv1015UID: 2505136

12# zhennupt

zhennuptUID: 2748934

4.05 独立
People would be happier if they had fewer possessions？ Agree or not?

Yvaine198831UID: 2956487

修改好了。