2009 作文小组——喆子

jzouc_ibt27UID：2513888

8月11号作业

Agree or disagree with the following statement: it is more important to award students for effort (trying or hard working) than for achievement (good grades)：U; B' J" U$

No matter students working hard or getting good grade, the two qualities are always awarded by teachers. But this brings up with a question: the praise for which kind of quality is more important? As far as I am concerned, it is more important to award students for effort than for achievement and my reasons are as follow.


To begin with, the reason why I support the appreciation for effort is because the effort during the process is more important than good results. Inspired by teacher's compliment for their trying, the students would keep in mind that as long as they have tried their best, they are already winners. For example, I used to bury myself in the seawater analysis lab for a year, in order to get a precious opportunity to participate a scientific survey cruise on the ocean. As a result, I become the only undergraduate student allowed to go on this cruise. My tutor told me that it is my perseverance and diligence that impressed her and I deserved the chance due to my hard work.


Besides, this principle is important especially when the students who have worked hard do not get achievement. It is a truth that not all pain can get gain in return. Thus, these students need teacher’s award as encouragement to fight forward. My father is a teacher in a high school. He is always encouraging the students failing the College Entrance Examination. He told the students:"You are a winner because of the three years’ effort, but if you stop trying and give up working hard, you would become a loser." Under his help, many students continued to struggling for a year and received the admission for ideal university in the end.


To sum up, I am fully convince that it is more significant to award students with effort, for the spirit of working hard is more valuable and depressing students with effort need this kind of encouragement

ly8768UID：2452066

1# jzouc_ibt27

No matter (whether) students working(work) hard or getting(get) good grade(grades), the two qualities are always awarded by teachers. But this brings up with a question: the praise for which kind of quality is more important? As far as I am concerned, it is more important to award students for effort than for achievement and my reasons are as follow.

第一段第一句很拗口啊～

To begin with, the reason why I support the appreciation for effort is because the effort during the process is more important than good results. Inspired by teacher's compliment for their trying, the students would keep in mind that as long as they have tried their best, they are already winners. For example, I used to bury(这个，好像不是很合适吧,immerse好点吧) myself in the seawater analysis lab for a year, in order to get a precious opportunity to participate a scientific survey cruise on the ocean. As a result, I become the only undergraduate student allowed to go on this cruise. My tutor told me that it is my perseverance and diligence that impressed her and I deserved the chance due to my hard work.

Besides, this principle is important especially when the students who have worked hard do not get achievement. It is a truth that not all pain can get gain in return. Thus, these students need teacher’s award as encouragement to fight forward. My father is a teacher in a high school. He is always encouraging(用一般现在时就好了) the (不用the) students failing the College Entrance Examination. He told the students:"You are a winner because of the three years’ effort, but if you stop trying and give up working hard, you would become a loser." Under his help, many students continued to struggling for a year and received the admission for ideal university in the end.

To sum up, I am fully convince that it is more significant to award students with(for) effort, for the spirit of working hard is more valuable and depressing students with effort need this kind of encouragement

总体思路挺不错，每段后面加个总结就好了～

applo111UID：2679100

No matter students working hard or getting good grade, the two qualities are always awarded by teachers. But this brings up with( 去掉with) a question: the praise for which kind of quality is more important? As far as I am concerned, it is more important to award students for effort than for achievement and my reasons are as follow。（which is based on the following reason.）; E8 q! E8 u: ](

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To begin with, the reason why I support the appreciation for effort is because (that)the effort during the process is more important than good results.(分论点可以具体一点，以便后续发展) Inspired by teacher's compliment for their trying, the students would keep in mind that as long as they have tried their best, they are already winners. For example, I used to bury myself in the seawater （sea of）analysis lab for a year, in order to get a precious opportunity to participate a scientific survey cruise on the ocean. As a result, I become(became) the only undergraduate student allowed to go on this cruise. My tutor told me that it is (was)my perseverance and diligence that impressed her and I deserved the chance due to my hard work.(好像有点偏离学生成绩与努力的主题)* ~' {9 ]0 Z7() M
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Besides, this principle is important especially when the students who have worked hard do not get achievement. It is a truth that not all pain can get gain in return.Thus, these students need teacher’s award as encouragement to fight forward. For example, My father is a teacher in a high school. He( who) is always encouraging the students failing (in)the College Entrance Examination. He told the students:"You are a winner because of the three years’ effort, but if you stop trying and give up working hard, you would become a loser." Under(With) his help, many students continued to struggling(struggle) for a year and received the admission(permit) for ideal university in the end.8 f) W. t9 l# f. L+ x% F. B

sum up, I am fully convince(convinced) that it is more significant to award students with effort, for the spirit of working hard is more valuable and depressing students with effort need this kind of encouragement. (结尾可再充实一点)


总结： 文章总体不错， 论证有理有据， 衔接适当，但语句可以再精炼些， 短局有有点多，分论点最好是3个， 结尾适当总结，但求无过就行！

starter_123UID：2576008

No matter students working hard or getting good grade, the two qualities are always awarded by teachers. But this brings up with(bring up something) a question: the praise for which kind of quality is more important(有点chinese,不如直接说 which quality is more important)? As far as I am concerned, it is more important to award students for effort than for achievement and my reasons are as follow.; ]) [; G# F! c& s

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To begin with, the reason why I support the appreciation for effort is because the effort during the process is more important than good results. Inspired by teacher's compliment for their trying, the students would keep in mind that as long as they have tried their best, they are already winners. For example, I used to (used to 能和for a year 连用吗，不用用once )bury myself in the seawater analysis lab for a year, (不太连贯)in order to get a precious opportunity to participate a scientific survey cruise on the ocean. As a result,(这直接说原因，有点唐突吧) I become the only undergraduate student allowed to go on this cruise. My tutor told me that it is my perseverance and diligence that impressed her and I deserved the chance due to my hard work.

Besides, this principle(表达不清楚，what is your princile, you haven`t say anything about it, you just say efforts is more important than achievement) is important especially when the students who have worked hard do not get achievement. It is a truth that not all pain can get gain in return. Thus, these students(who are these studendents, though i understant it, but the concepts come too suddently.) need teacher’s award as encouragement to fight forward. My father is a teacher in a high school. He is always encouraging the students failing the College Entrance Examination. (例子好像不恰当啊，除非你指明，你父亲的帮助，话语adwars,表达一定要直白)He told the students:"You are a winner because of the three years’ effort, but if you stop trying and give up working hard, you would become a loser." Under his help, many students continued to struggling for a year and received the admission for ideal university in the end.- J()r. M7 M% T# c2 Q) `2 Q

To sum up, I am fully convinced that it is more significant to award students with effort, for the spirit of working hard is more valuable and depressing students with effort need this kind of encouragement (最后一句好像不符合英语表达习惯，至少我读来 2遍，才看出你的意思。)

总的来说，文笔不错啊。。。我晚上把我作文的改好， 你在帮我看看吧！

jzouc_ibt27UID：2513888

8月13日作业
Some people think it's more important to spend more time working than being with family，你的觀點?

Both work and family play an important role in an adult’s life. Then this raises a question: should we spend more time working or staying with family? A group of people claim that it is more important to spend moew time being with family to teach kids and look after parents. As far as I am concerned, however, working deserves more time especially when we are young and energetic. My reasons are as follows.

To begin with, it is no controversial that working helps people earn the bread for daily life. Admittedly, a person would spare some time accompanying his parents, yet he should pay more attention on the job, which provides the material rewards for his daily life. I cannot imagine if one does not devote more time dealing with the task assigned by his boss, how can he get the money to pay rents, a car, a trip of family on holiday, a new toy of his children? What is worse, if a man loses his job due to his constant absence from work, he would lose the security for himself as well as his family. So, it is definitely important to spend more time on the job to make a living.


Beside, the reason why I am in favor of more time for working is because working gives people a sense of self-worth. A person, especially the youth who just started work, usually struggles hard in order to earn a sense of self-assurance from their career. My sister, for example, just got the qualification for medical practice and turned into a doctor. She is always the first arriving at the patience’s’ ward and the last one leaving the hospital. Not only does she stay longer in the hospital, but also she focuses on the medical magazine or related paper to enrich herself at home. As a result, both the chief and the patience speak highly of her work, which makes her more confident and cheerful. Based what I mentioned above, I am fully convinced that, more time for working is very significant to one’s self-assurance.

To sum up, I strongly support the claim that it is more important to spend more time with working. Since working provides people material rewards and gives them a sense of self-worth, it deserves more people’s time and attention.

STELLA710UID：2435774

Some people think it's more important to spend more time working than being with family，你的觀點?

Both work and family play (an略) important roles in an adult’s life. Then this raises a question: should we spend more time working or staying with family? A group of people claim that it is more important to spend more time being with family to teach kids and look after parents.（要不要把另外一个group的观点也稍微点一下？）As far as I am concerned, however, working deserves more time especially when we are young and energetic. My reasons are as follows.

To begin with, it is no controversial that working helps people earn the bread for daily life. Admittedly, a person would spare some time accompanying his parents, yet he should pay more attention on the job, which provides the material rewards for his daily life. I cannot imagine if one does not devote more time dealing with the task assigned by his boss, how can he get the money to pay rents, a car, a trip （of略）with the family （on holiday略）, and a new toy （of略）for his children? What is worse, if a man loses his job due to his constant absence from work, he would lose the security for himself as well as his family. So, it is definitely important to spend more time on the job to make a living..

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Beside, the reason why I am in favor of more time for working is because working gives people a sense of self-worth. A person, especially the youth who just started work, usually struggles hard in order to earn a sense of self-assurance from their career. My sister, for example, just got the qualification for medical practice and turned into a doctor. She is always the first arriving at the patience’s’ ward and the last one leaving the hospital. Not only does she stay longer in the hospital, but also she focuses on the medical magazine or related paper to enrich herself at home. As a result, both the chief and the patience speak highly of her work, which makes her more confident and cheerful. Based what I mentioned above, I am fully convinced that, more time for working is very significant to one’s self-assurance.

To sum up, I strongly support the claim that it is more important（换一个词会不会显得比较多样性一点？整篇文章说重要都是用的important。Essential啊vital啊significant啊都可以） to spend more time with working. Since working provides people material rewards and gives them a sense of self-worth, it deserves more people’s time and attention. (it deserves more time and attention from people会不会好一点点？）


請多多指教 有改的不好的地方也可以給我指出來啊 嘿嘿:kiss:

liuxiaoyinUID：2631993

Both work and family play an important role（改成roles，an去掉) in an adult’s life. Then this raises a question: should we spend more time working or staying with family? A group of people claim that it is more important to spend moew time being with family to teach kids and look after parents. As far as I am concerned, however, working deserves more time especially when we are young and energetic. My reasons are as follows.
    To begin with, it is no controversial that working helps people earn the bread for daily life. Admittedly, a person would spare some time accompanying his parents, yet he should pay more attention on（改成to吧） the job, which provides the material rewards for his daily life. I cannot imagine if one does not devote more time dealing with the task assigned by his boss, how can he get the money to pay rents, a car, a trip of family on holiday（用family outings好不好？）, a new toy(复数toys,很多孩子~~) of his children? What is worse, if a man loses his job due to his constant absence from work, he would lose the security for himself as well as his family. So, it is definitely important to spend more time on the job to make a living.
       Beside(besides), the reason why I am in favor of more time for working is because working gives people a sense of self-worth. A person, especially the youth who just started work, usually struggles hard in order to earn a sense of self-assurance from their（his） career. My sister, for example, just got the qualification for medical practice and turned into a doctor. She is always the first arriving at the patience’s’ ward and the last one leaving the hospital. Not only does she stay longer in the hospital, but also she focuses on the medical magazine or related paper to enrich herself at home. As a result, both the chief and the patience speak highly of her work, which makes her more confident and cheerful. Based (加上on)what I mentioned above, I am fully convinced that, more time for working is very significant to one’s self-assurance.,
    To sum up, I strongly support the claim that it is more important to spend more time with(改成on) working. Since working provides people material rewards and gives them a sense of self-worth, it deserves more people’s time and attention.
    感觉写得很流畅~~~要是能再加一个理由就好了，不过两个理由论证的很充分了。嘿嘿，本人写作不好，只能改改语法了，改完了不好意思阿~~~

liuxiaoyinUID：2631993

谢谢你给我认真写评语

STELLA710UID：2435774

嘿嘿 我也来了 恩 我忘记总评了~~~

我觉得你写得不错啊 但是就像楼上说的如果再加一段像第二段那样的例子论证
外加再稍稍注意一下用词的多样性 那样会更完美了！！！:$

jzouc_ibt27UID：2513888

Delta 4.1A
综合写作

The speaker claims the causes and consequences of the corneal injuries and ulcers. This point agrees with the reading, which contends that the symptoms and diagnosis of the corneal injury.

First, in the support of the reading’s statement about corneal, the professor explains the causes of the corneal injury. There are many causes for the corneal injury, such as the thing hitting the face, some flying debris, some chemical substance and dust as well.

Second, the lecturer also bolsters the passage by indicating the causes for ulcers. The lecture tells us that corneal inflammation and the outermost cells on the surface of the cornea die. The speaker points out the exposure to light such as ultraviolet or sunlight can cause such kind of inflammation, which is substantiated in the reading material.

Finally, the lecturer tells us that eating antibiotics or drugs or wearing eye pad can heal the eye corneal.

zhangjingyi29UID：2449770

10# jzouc_ibt27
The speaker claims the causes and consequences of the corneal injuries and ulcers. This point agrees with the reading, which contends that the symptoms and diagnosis of the corneal injury.
First(ly), in the去掉 support of the reading’s statement about corneal, the professor explains the causes of the corneal injury. There are many causes for the corneal injury, such as the thing hitting the face（face hitting）, some flying debris, some chemical substance and dust as well.话说face hitting and flying debris and chemical substance and dust不是一个级别的。。。应该是face hitting includes: Ball playing, flying debris…
Chemical substance: **and??不知叫什么名。。。
Allergy: virus, fungus…(这是我听到的，其他的没听出来。。。呵呵，我听得不好@@)
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Second, the lecturer also bolsters the passage by indicating the causes for ulcers. The lecture tells us that corneal inflammation and the outermost cells on the surface of the cornea die. The speaker points out the exposure to light such as ultraviolet or sunlight can cause such kind of inflammation, which is substantiated in the reading material.（？？overexposure?）
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Finally, the lecturer tells us that eating antibiotics or drugs or wearing eye pad can heal the eye corneal.
感觉没写完~把它补充一下吧，你是限时写的么？呵呵@@加油~~

jzouc_ibt27UID：2513888

To guarantee students’ education quality in university, some people claim that a professor should be paid according to students’ performs. However, I believe this is a irrational decision and that it is unwise to connect the payment of a professor with the perform of his students.

To begin with, it is unfair to pay teachers according to students’ perform for the students’ perform fails to mirror a professor’s ability. How well the students behave in class or examination is mostly determined by their intelligence, diligence, interest rather than teacher’s instruction. Suppose a lazy boy cut classes all day, never touch academic books or finish assignment, then he fails in this course. However, the professor who opens this course is an exceptional scholar and famous for his vivid illustration in class. So, to some extent, the student’s perform have little relation with the professor’s qualification. As a result, it is unwise to judge professor by students’ perform.

Besides, the reason why I disagree with paying professor by students’ achievement is that how well a professor teaches is not the only criterion for judging a professor’s component. As we all know, not only a professor act as a teacher for students, but he takes responsibility for some scientific program and research. It is hard for a professor to keep balance between educating students and conduct the scientific survey. A professor, for example, perhaps spares little time to teach inorganic course to the freshman because he devotes time exploring the Red Tide. Though his students may be not very excellent, yet the professor still deserve a high salary due to his dedication to the scientific career. Therefore, it is clear that university professors are not high school teachers and the professors’ wage should be determined by many aspects instead of students’ perform alone.

To sum up, I am fully convinced that we should not pay the professor according to students’ perform. Since students’ achievement are mostly determined by themselves and the professors’ ability depend on many aspects, it is unnecessary to connect the salary of the professor with the student’s perform.

zhangjingyi29UID：2449770

12# jzouc_ibt27
To guarantee students’ education quality in university, some people claim that a professor should be paid according to students’ performs*performances. However, I believe this is an irrational decision and that it is unwise to connect the payment of a professor with the performances of his students.9 h, f$ B& B" z! p7 G
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To begin with, it is unfair to pay teachers according to students’ perform for the students’ perform (注意词性)fails to mirror a professor’s ability. How well the students behave in class or examination is mostly determined by their intelligence, diligence, interest rather than teacher’s instruction. Suppose（supposing） a lazy boy cut classes all day, never touch academic books or finish assignment, then he fails in this course. However, the professor who opens this course is an exceptional scholar and famous for his vivid illustration in class. So, to some extent, the student’s perform have little relation with the professor’s qualification. As a result, it is unwise to judge professor by students’ perform.

Besides, the reason why I disagree with paying professor by students’ achievement is that how well a professor teaches is not the only criterion for judging a professor’s component. As we all know, not only a professor act as a teacher for students, but he (also) takes responsibility for some scientific program and research. It is hard for a professor to keep balance between educating students and conduct the scientific survey. A professor, for example, perhaps spares little time to teach inorganic course to the freshman because he devotes time exploring the Red Tide. Though his students may be not very excellent, yet the professor still deserves a high salary due to his dedication to the scientific career. Therefore, it is clear that university professors are not high school teachers and the professors’ wage should be determined by many aspects instead of students’ perform alone.（这一段好像有点跑。。。题目是说teachers,如果你要用professor做例子就不要牵扯进high school teachers，因为这给人一种印象就是high school teachers are paid by their students’ performances,只要说professor 就好）

To sum up, I am fully convinced that we should not pay the professor according to students’ perform. Since students’ achievement is mostly determined by themselves and the professors’ ability depend on many aspects, it is unnecessary to connect the salary of the professor with the student’s perform.（你好像把题目的范围给缩小了，如果这样写的话，我觉得应该在开头提一下，especially our college professors/ I will prove this idea for you with the professors in the university.）整篇语言通畅，注意一下词性和结构即可

lsr91UID：2540702

sorry 看得比较晚了 不过乍一看你只有两个点 思路上需要开拓下 不过如果考试的时候实在是想不出来 两个点写充实了也行 语法楼上都给你指出来了 加油吧