miaodi 的作文帖

miaodiUID: 2613113

处女贴，悲催的我写错日子了，求好心人拍拍啊。。。

写成9月4号的了

09.08.01NA  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life



In our minds, there is a stereotype thatsomeone, after obtaining the appreciation from his boss or influential peoplein his field, could become successful. We often find such thing as some actors winsome awards since he has gained applause from reputed director. Then we might bepuzzled by whether or not the support from influential people or your employersis the prerequisite of success. The answer, at least it seems to me, is no.

First of all, I admit that let great peopleknow your ability always helpful to those who want to be successful. To someextent, their attitudes on you could influence others’ minds, so if you want toexpress a positive figure to people around you, you should let the most influentialone know how strong you are. Some books become best-seller after receiving a positivecritique of a famous one and some students be matriculated by a famous collegebecause of a recommendation from a celebrity, all those tell us famous people couldactually influence your future.

However, making sure influential peopleknow about your strengths and accomplishments is not the only factor thatdetermines someone’s future, even more it is not the most important one. Somefactors like opportunity, your personality and your morality also influenceyour life. Take opportunity as an example, in the world, there are numerouspeople did not receive success because they did not get the chance, like TracyMcgrady, a famous NBA player, who own distinguished talent but cannot win achampion for his team, because he can’t get the chance in critical time in theplayoff. Your personalities also influence your life, people who are notdiligent in their work and do not devote themselves into the project they aredoing cannot make some achievements in their fields, even if they are competent.Morality reflects one’s social value, which determines whether or not one couldbe accepted by the whole society, so being health in your morality is also animportant factor that accounts for one’s success.

In sum, let influential people know yourability is indeed a convenience way to succeed in your field, but the moreimportant thing you should do is to obtain the quality a typical celebrity owns.

miaodiUID: 2613113

求拍啊啊啊 啊啊啊

primrose0519UID: 2887617

第一段就应该把你的观点亮出来，我一直读到最后才知道，你是认为需要别人赏识而且自身也要有这种品质，文章的词句都很流畅，偶尔有几个单词错误而已，我认为逻辑非常的好，我就十分喜欢这种正反辩证的文章。 2# miaodi 在

miaodiUID: 2613113

3# primrose0519 谢谢

rysfUID: 2514937

逻辑清楚，论证严密 小建议：1经常忘记空格，可先用法word查下。 2。我很喜欢你文章的逻辑和结构，但是第一段显的太绕圈子而且没有提到最重要的“你的opinion”。

ilovelssUID: 2809027

我昨天就改好了，但是我貌似没传上去，让你等了一天不好意思啊

miaodiUID: 2613113

6# ilovelss 谢啦

miaodiUID: 2613113

9.9


Since born, we human race begin to learn the real life of the world where we live. This process will continue until the death. Someone may ask what does real life exactly mean? In my opinion, it means the way the real world works, the way people mutually communicate with each other. To this definition, I do not agree with the statement that only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life. The reason why I think so goes as follow.

First of all, although some reputed and distinguished movies give us a shudder in our thoughts and moral, such as “Forrest Gump” which teaches us to be honest and faithful and “Titanic” which proves us how great the value of love is, more so-called worth watching movies like “Avatar”, “Spiderman” and “Ironman” are just amusement for populace, they provide us nothing but fulfillment and happiness in our spirit. Moreover, what a film reflects is only the director’s perspective to the world, which sometimes may be negative and not comprehensive, so these passive moods may spread to people who have watched them and these limited information cannot give us a full recognition to the real world.

Secondly, not only can movies provide a real world scene to us, but other kinds of art also can do so. A well-skilled photographer can catch most valuable and thought-provoking moment and publish it out and these pictures can be used as a good educational material to teach some philosophical principles. Michael Jackson’s “Heal the world” tells us how severe the environmental problem is, and appeals us to protect or habitat from being destroyed.

Thirdly, art such as movie, picture and music are all derived from the real world, after all. They are just an abstract, a facet of the world. So the best way to learn the real life is to participate into the real world, to find universal rules from here. Only in this way can we acquire the most valuable and conducive things that will give us a positive influence.

In sum, although to some extent, a worth watch movies can teach us something about real life, it cannot replace the recognition in the real world which can give us a comprehensive and profound scene of the real life.

miaodiUID: 2613113

9.11

梵士林UID: 2608395

Nowadays, in China, our governments have an inclination to build art museum and musical theater in big cities. However, I have not found the development in Chinese populace’s aesthetic feeling. So to the topic whether government should more support art museum and music performance than recreational facilities, my answer is no. The reason why I think so goes as follow.

First of all, I do not want to deny the value and influence of art on our life. It is true that art, which contains human being’s history and records the evolution steps of us, is one of the most important parts of the real world. However, simply constructing sort of art museums and music theaters without concerning the education of art major can’t （cannot） actually enhance our country’s artistic culture, let alone benefit（s） from these projects, because art need to be developed in a systematic way. We should invest in some relative（related） fields of art, such as education, instrumental manufacture, record industry and so on, and we should also support the artists, who have made great achievement(s) in their fields, both in economic aspect and in mental aspect. Only in this way can we efficiently propel the development of art.

Secondly, even if building art facilities is necessary to the government, I do not think it is justifiable to give art buildings a higher priority than that of recreational facilities. Since such recreational facilities as swimming pool and play ground are all basic facilities that have huge requirement, government may suffer high pressure from populace if their needs to those places are not contented. And people also can receive fun and happiness from swimming or other kinds of games, so the government does not have the authority to look down upon those activities.

What’s more, more than giving us happiness, recreational facilities can provide a chance to practice our bodies and help us maintain healthy. On football ground, we learn how to cooperate with teammate, how to stimulate the potential chemistry reaction（为什么要激发潜在的chemistry reaction？有点不懂）. In swimming pool, our ability to keep balance could be enhanced. In sum, our government should seek a balance between in investing
resource to art museum and to recreational facilities.

文章写得非常好 用词很高级 句型很复杂 几乎挑不出错来 说点个人想法 好像结尾有点仓促 是不是应该拿出一段来说 两者应该平衡 而不是放在 recreational facilities 的好处这段 有点太突然了 。另外开头 我读到 my answer is no 的时候还以为在recreational facilities 上支持更多 读到最后是平衡的 是不是在开头应该点出来 开门见山。

水平有限 ，不知道想法对不对 。多包涵呀~~

rysfUID: 2514937

水平有限  见谅~~~~~

梵士林UID: 2608395

同学911给我的批改附件没传上来~~~

miaodiUID: 2613113

12# 梵士林

不好意思啊 。我看看。。。

miaodiUID: 2613113

9.14

执着的丸子UID: 2626299

改好了~