进军美利坚作文 8.29 我是翠花

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

8.29 Do you agree or disagree:As modern life become more complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

Since Industry Revolution has been carried out, humans have welcomed a complex life style. That is distinctive from traditional life based on farming and hunting. Especially at present, modern facilities and technology play an essential role in wherever. And people have to complete several tasks within limited period. Therefore, I tend to acclaim that youngster should master the ability to plan and organize; otherwise, they will lag behind others.

To begin with, making plan could make everything effective. It will reduce people’s time to follow what they should do clearly based on a schedule. For instance, when I was struggling for TOEFL exam, I had to have a study plan for it, otherwise, everything would be in messy. As we know, there are four parts in iBT, which takes time to master each field. The reason is each part occupies the same score. One part much lower than others will lead to a negative consequence for application.

Accordingly, I made a studying schedule to spend more time on the area I was not strong. Besides, the plan strictly reminded me of following what I should do under organization. Then I could review it step by step, which assisted me to avoid wasting time at the program I was good.

It will bring disadvantage for achievement without a detailed schedule. The company and its employees may feel frustrated and confused about the company’s future, as it is hard for them to prospect without a sound plan and effective organization program. People may consider that it is not safe enough to stay in that company, which will result in the consequence that most staff left their working positions in that corporation. Therefore, the company will be weak to support its business.

To sum up, arranging from schoolwork to having business, the ability to plan should be mastered by young generation, as it will benefit them in different ways and prevent negatives from knowledge learning and working in society.

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

哎呀 第2.3段是一段的怎么分开了

fancywwUID: 2583671

8.29 Do you agree or disagree:As modern life become more complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

Since Industry Revolution has been carried out, humans have welcomed a complex life style. That is distinctive from traditional life based on farming and hunting. Especially at present, modern facilities and technology play an essential role in wherever (everywhere). And people have to complete several tasks within limited period. Therefore, I tend to acclaim that youngster should master the ability to plan and organize; otherwise, they will lag behind others.8 G) x! j" o3 b( L) L. r6 H' p/ y

To begin with, making plan could make everything effective. It will reduce people’s time to follow what they should do clearly based on a schedule. For instance, when I was struggling (这次感觉好像很艰难，prepare就好吧) for TOEFL exam, I had to have a study plan for it, otherwise, everything would be in messy （be messy OR be in a mess）. As we know, there are four parts in iBT, which takes time to master each field. The reason is each part occupies the same score. One part much lower than others will lead to a negative consequence for application. Accordingly, I made a studying schedule to spend more time on the area I was not strong. Besides, the plan strictly reminded me of following what I should do under organization. Then I could review it step by step, which assisted me to avoid wasting time at the program I was good at.  好像没谈到organize

It will bring disadvantage for achievement without a detailed schedule. For example. The company and its employees may feel frustrated and confused about the company’s future, as it is hard for them to prospect without a sound plan and effective organization program. People may consider that it is not safe enough to stay in that company, which will result in the consequence that most staff left their working positions in that corporation. Therefore, the company will be weak to support its business. 这段没有联系上young people# C!

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To sum up, arranging from schoolwork to having business, the ability to plan should be mastered by young generation, as it will benefit them in different ways and prevent negatives from knowledge learning and working in society.

句子通畅了很多，基本没有语病了。
不过论证稍弱，两段一正一反，其实plan和organize的好处还可以细化一下，不用一个笼统的“help us succeed”就搞定，这样也会觉得没话说。可以细想一下怎么帮助人们成功的。

gy0510150556UID: 2546647

Since Industry Revolution has been carried out, humans have welcomed (迎接有些不妥，直接are leading )a complex life style. That is distinctive from traditional life based on farming and hunting. Especially at present, modern facilities and technology(technologies) play an essential role in(in 去掉） wherever. And people have to complete several tasks within limited period. Therefore, I tend to acclaim that youngster should master the ability to plan and organize; otherwise, they will lag behind others.（语法错误很少，进步很大）!

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To begin with, making plan could make everything effective（efficient）. It will reduce people’s time to follow what they should do clearly based on a schedule. For instance, when I was struggling for TOEFL exam, I had to have a study plan for it, otherwise, everything would be in messy. As we know, there are four parts in iBT, which takes time to master each field. The reason is each part occupies the same score. One part much lower than others will lead to a negative consequence for appliccation. Accordingly, I made a studying schedule to spend more time on the area I was not strong in. Besides, the plan strictly remindeds me of following what I should do under organization. Then I could review it step by step, which assisted me to avoid wasting time at the program I was good.自己的例子很生动，最后最好总结一下M+ J% Z# q3 J' c- C

It will bring disadvantage for（to） achievement without a detailed schedule. The company and its employees may feel frustrated and confused about the company’s future, as it is hard for them to prospect without a sound plan and effective organization program. People may consider that it is not safe (it has no promising future )enough to stay in that company, which will result in the consequence that most staff left their working positions in that corporation. Therefore, the company will be weak(at the edge of bankruptcy) to support its business后面最好引申young people 也需要.+ V* J) K; R  g& r+ X
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To sum up, arranging from schoolwork to having business, the ability to plan should be mastered by young generation, as it will benefit them in different ways and prevent negatives from knowledge learning and working in society.
进步很大，文笔变的流畅，读起来很舒心
第二段需拉回到young people,还有你没有强调organization.