10月6日【美利坚作文小组】health care v.s. environmental

2009toefl10UID: 2706590

I disagree with the speaker's claim thathealth care should receivemore governmental attention than environmental issues.

On one hand, admittedly, health care isclosely related to the quality of our daily lives, and so it is important that government should give strong support on it. Take the on-going NINI influenza for an example--without the governmental support on the cost-free and timely treatment and rigorousinsulation of the illness, all of us would be under the threat of death for its strong infectivity and violent lethality. Another example is that low-cost bacterins provided by government avoid us from suffering the illnesses like smallpox, poliomyelitis, and diphtheria and so on. Because of its abundant bankroll and powerful executiveforce, government is capable and responsible of giving much support on our health care.

On the other hand, it is also widely accepted that governmental environmental conservation is necessary to us all. For example, the environmental experts give the warning that if we continue using much fossil energy and disafforesting a lot, the temperature of the North and South Poles will increase persistently, and that will cause the melting of the glaciers and the rising of the sea level, which means the resident along the coast will become homeless. In order to prevent such environmental and social problems, government should pay much attention on environmental problems, and so it is obviousthat both health care and environmental issues are important to government.

Sometimes environmental statement is closely related to public health condition. Environmental pollution can cause public nuisance diseases. A well-known example is that mercury pollution caused Minamata disease in Japan in 1956. Besides, the use of Freon caused ozone depletion and increased the number of dermal cancer patient in Australia also in the middle of last century. Since pollution treatment reduces the profit of enterprises, according to economic principles, it would be unrealistic to reduce pollution unless it is coerced by government. As we can see, in some cases solving environmental problems is part of the work of health care of government as well.

In sum, in my opinion, both health care and environmentalissues should get attention from our government, and the two are sometimes complementary to each other.

359 words

2009toefl10UID: 2706590

1# 2009toefl10

修改了：

翠花 https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1008819&pid=1773213403&page=12&extra=#pid1773213403
旸旸 https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=994802&pid=1773212252&page=10&extra
kimtop https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1014203

kimtopUID: 2375291

本帖最后由 2009toefl10 于 2009-10-7 10:41 编辑


I disagree with the speaker's claim that health care should receive more governmental attention than environmental issues.

On one hand, admittedly, health care is closely related to the quality of our daily lives, and so it is(so去掉这里加个therefore) important that government should give strong support on it. Take the on-going NINI influenza for an example--without the(the去掉吧) governmental support on the cost-free and timely treatment and rigorous insulation of the illness, all of us would be under the threat of death for its strong infectivity and violent lethality. Another example is that low-cost bacterins provided by government avoid us from suffering the illnesses like smallpox, poliomyelitis, and diphtheria and so on. Because of its abundant bankroll and powerful executiveforce, government is capable and responsible of giving much support on our health care.（你学生物化学的吗。。。）

On the other hand, it is also widely accepted that governmental environmental conservation is necessary to us all. For example, the environmental experts give the warning that if we continue using much fossil energy and disafforesting a lot, the temperature of the North and South Poles will increase persistently, and that will cause the melting of the glaciers and the rising of the sea level, which means the resident(s) along the coast will become homeless. In order to prevent such environmental and social problems, government should pay much attention on environmental problems, and so it is obvious that both health care and environmental issues are important to government.) u% m- r" A2 |. H+ ^( u

Sometimes environmental statement is closely related to public health condition. Environmental pollution can cause public nuisance diseases. A well-known example is that mercury pollution caused Minamata disease in Japan in 1956. Besides, the use of Freon caused ozone depletion and increased the number of dermal cancer patient in Australia also in the middle of last century. Since pollution treatment reduces the profit of enterprises, according to economic principles, it would be unrealistic to reduce pollution unless it is coerced by government. As we can see, in some cases solving environmental problems is part of the work of health care of government as well.( }- C+ {$ b8 @8 f: z' I8 u- F/ L/ L
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In sum, in my opinion, both health care and environmental issues should get attention from our government, and the two are sometimes complementary to each other.*

我发现你举例都巨牛。。。 平时练笔也顺便搜集例子 很不错啊
此外我发现 就我一个人说health care更重要 ai

kimtopUID: 2375291

此外 可以把", and so it is "这样的句子直接分成两句。 一来这样的句子没什么技术含量很容易出错 而来高级长句子有个几句足矣

ly8768UID: 2452066

1# 2009toefl10

I disagree with the speaker's claim that health care should receive more governmental attention than environmental issues.

这个开头也太简短了

On one hand, admittedly, health care is closely related to the quality of our daily lives, and so it is important that government should give strong support on it. Take the on-going NINI influenza for an example--without the governmental support on the cost-free and timely treatment and rigorous insulation of the illness, all of us would be under the threat of death for its strong infectivity and violent lethality. Another example is that low-cost bacterins provided by government avoid us from suffering the illnesses like smallpox, poliomyelitis, and diphtheria and so on. Because of its abundant bankroll and powerful executive force, government is capable and responsible of giving much support on our health care.

这个…实在没弄明白你这段想说什么。你TS想说不应该给更多的attention在health care上，可是这段好像说health care很重要。

On the other hand, it is also widely accepted that governmental(政府环境保护？) environmental conservation is necessary to us all(all of us). For example, the environmental experts give the warning that if we continue using much fossil energy and disafforesting(这个词？) a lot, the temperature of(in) the North and South Poles will increase persistently, and that will cause the melting of the glaciers and the rising of the sea level, which means the resident along the coast will become homeless. In order to prevent such environmental and social problems, government should pay much attention on environmental problems, and so it is obvious that both health care and environmental issues are important to government.

Sometimes environmental statement is closely related to public health condition. Environmental pollution can cause public nuisance diseases. A well-known example is that mercury pollution caused Minamata disease in Japan in 1956. Besides, the use of Freon caused ozone depletion and increased the number of dermal cancer patient in Australia also in the middle of last century. Since pollution treatment reduces the profit of enterprises, according to economic principles, it would be unrealistic to reduce pollution unless it is coerced by government. As we can see, in some cases solving environmental problems is part of the work of health care of government as well.

这里子举的专业的啊。

In sum, in my opinion, both health care and environmental issues should get attention from our government, and the two are sometimes complementary to each other.

这个半个小时能写完吧。。。三个论点呢，不如集中在两个方面。开头太简单了，还是写复杂点好。这个毕竟不是issue

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

I disagree with the speaker's claim thathealth care should receivemore governmental attention than environmental issues同扬扬开头是酷了点.

On one hand, admittedly, health care isclosely related to the quality of our daily lives, and so it is important that government should give strong support on it. Take the on-going NINI--H1N1不 influenza for an example--without the governmental support on the cost-free and timely treatment and rigorousinsulation of the illness, all of us would be under the threat of death for its strong infectivity and violent lethality. Another example is that low-cost bacterins provided by government avoid us from suffering the illnesses like smallpox, poliomyelitis, and diphtheria and so on. Because of its abundant bankroll and powerful executiveforce这个好,怎么让我想起了阅兵~, government is capable and responsible of giving much support on our health care.

On the other hand, it is also widely accepted that governmental environmental conservation is necessary to us all--all of us. For example, the environmental experts give the warning that if we continue using much fossil energy and disafforesting a lot, the temperature of the North and South Poles will increase persistently, and that will cause the melting of the glaciers and the rising of the sea level, which means the resident along the coast will become homeless. In order to prevent such environmental and social problems, government should pay much attention on environmental problems, and so it is obviousthat both health care and environmental issues are important to government 嗯..2段正反写

ometimes environmental statement is closely related to public health condition. Environmental pollution can cause public nuisance diseases. A well-known example is that mercury pollution caused Minamata disease in Japan in 1956.Besides, the use of Freon caused ozone depletion and increased the number of dermal cancer patient in Australia also in the middle of last century. Since pollution treatment reduces the profit of enterprises, according to economic principles, it would be unrealistic to reduce pollution unless it is coerced by government. As we can see, in some cases solving environmental problems is part of the work of health care of government as well. 总体说一段一个意思.贯穿着写是不会整体写呐

In sum, in my opinion, both health care and environmentalissues should get attention from our government, and the two are sometimes complementary to each other.结尾貌似跟开头不呼应, 开头说不同意这个比那个重要. 结尾说都重要的说. 例子很好的, 词汇也行!感觉你的内容多都快500了, 怎么是300+呐6 :O