10.9 作业（进军美利坚）

joyceliuUID: 2477232

In the recent years, there is a general controversyover the issue that whether people in nowadays are less friendly than those inthe past. Although some people claim that as development of moderncivilization, we are really become more reliable on each other. Personally, I preferto support that it is true that we are not as friendly as before and I willprovide concrete evidences to demonstrate my point of view.

First and foremost, there is no denyingthat as the advent of technology, people tend to pay less attention on theircontemporaries. On the one hand, with the computer, people do not have tocommunicate face to face, rather they are more likely to just talking online.Since, during the conversation, the two sides fail to make a eye-contact witheach other, obviously they can hardly feel the emotion from one another.Besides, due to the convenience of computer, we choose to fulfill a lot oftasks on it, such as go shopping, receive education, do our professional joband so forth, this leads to less communication among acquaintances, whichfurther increase the separation in their relationship. On the other hand,personal cars should also be blamed for it. In the past time, when we use thepublic transportations, it offers us so many opportunities to contact withother passengers. But now our main transportation is cars, which separate usfrom each other, reduce our communications as well.

In the second place, the change in ourliving conditions also contributes to the fact that we are less friendly thanbefore. In the time of our ancestors, people live in one village, they sharemost of their products, which naturally promote their communication with eachother. However, as the development of modern civilization, especially theappearance of cities, citizens no longer live together, they have their ownhouse, which although more comfortable for them, but separate them with theirneighbors. People are prone to be more strangers with each other than in theold time.

Last but not least, compared with ourancestors, we are concerned more about money, profit and things like these, whilesometimes ignore to show friendly to others. In such a practical society, ourbehaviors are largely based on the rule that if this is profitable, if it willbenefit us. As a result, what we feel when contact with others is only the simplyprofitable relationship rather than friendship.

To sum up, taking into account of thediscussion mentioned above, we may safely reach the conclusion that people arebecoming not as friendly as ever before.

happyzhengangUID: 2502624

In the recent years, there is a general controversyover the issue thatwhether people in nowadays are less friendly than those inthe past.Although some people claim that as development of moderncivilization,we are really become more reliable on each other. Personally, Ipreferto support that it is true that we are not as friendly as beforeand I willprovide concrete evidences to demonstrate my point of view. 第一段很自然，我记得上次改你的作文也是这样的风格哦~~
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6 G% ?$ P7 l3 c+ DFirst andforemost, there is no denyingthat as the advent of technology, peopletend to pay less attention on theircontemporaries. On the one hand,with the computer, people do not have tocommunicate face to face,rather they are more likely to just talking online.Since, during theconversation, the two sides fail to make a eye-contact witheach other,obviously they can hardly feel the emotion from one another.Besides,due to the convenience of computer, we choose to fulfill a lot oftaskson it, such as go shopping, receive education, do our professionaljoband so forth, this leads to less communication among acquaintances,whichfurther increase the separation in their relationship. （这里理由说的挺好的，feel the emotion and less communicate）On theother hand,personal cars should also be blamed for it. In the pasttime, when we use thepublic transportations, it offers us so manyopportunities to contact withother passengers. But now our maintransportation is cars(单数), which separate usfrom each other, reduce ourcommunications as well(关于car的这个例子说服力不强~~)./ j+ c$ _. a) {& N: P+ E

: ~5 ^" }, B% P  v. {% P# Y  OInthe second place, the change in ourliving conditions also contributesto the fact that we are less friendly thanbefore. In the time of ourancestors, people live in one village, they sharemost of theirproducts, which naturally promote their communication with eachother.However, as the development of modern civilization, especiallytheappearance of cities, citizens no longer live together, they havetheir ownhouse, which although more comfortable for them, but separatethem with theirneighbors. People are prone to be more strangers（stranger好像不能这么用吧） witheach other than in theold time. （本段其实还是在说因为缺乏沟通所以人们没有以前有好，中间添加上people live in there own house， 大家都不怎么互相帮助，自然就体现不出来友好）
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Last but not least, compared with ourancestors, we are concerned moreabout money, profit and things like these, whilesometimes ignore toshow friendly to others（此句读起来有些别扭）. In such a practical society, ourbehaviors arelargely based on the rule that if this is profitable, if it willbenefitus. As a result, what we feel when contact with others is only thesimplyprofitable relationship rather than friendship.（在乎名利似乎也一直存在而且也不亚于现在啊~~）
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/ S' X% @' M) `% R6 A# _( O( @Tosum up, taking into account of thediscussion mentioned above, we maysafely reach the conclusion that people arebecoming not as friendly asever before.

LZ用词挺丰富的，语言也流畅，语法很不错了，这些都是加分的地方，只是从这个角度写确实有些难写，感觉例证不是很充分，总的挺不错的，加油~~

liuguaguaUID: 2569375

In the recent years, there is a general controversyover the issue that whether people in nowadays are less friendly than those inthe past这个地方的对比写的真好，2个in！赞. Although some people claim that as development of moderncivilization, we are really become more reliable on each other. Personally, I preferto support that it is true that we are not as friendly as before and I willprovide concrete evidences to demonstrate my point of view. + z8 q' X8 F( I6 \

First and foremost, there is no denyingthat as the advent of technology, people tend to pay less attention on theircontemporaries. On the one hand, with the computer, people do not have tocommunicate face to face, rather they are more likely to just talking online.Since, during the conversation, the two sides fail to make a eye-contact witheach other, obviously they can hardly feel the emotion from one another.Besides, due to the convenience of computer, we choose to fulfill a lot oftasks on it, such as go shopping, receive education, do our professional joband so forth, this leads to less communication among acquaintances, whichfurther increase the separation in their relationship. On the other hand,personal cars should also be blamed for it. In the past time, when we use thepublic transportations, it offers us so many opportunities to contact withother passengers. But now our main transportation is cars, which separate usfrom each other, reduce our communications as well.,这一段写的非常好，层次很清楚；分了3个层次，给出了3个原因。非常赞！学习之！语言功底也很好！词汇多变化

In the second place, the change in ourliving conditions also contributes to the fact that we are less friendly thanbefore. In the time of our ancestors, people live in one village, they sharemost of their products, which naturally promote their communication with eachother. However, as the development of modern civilization, especially theappearance of cities, citizens no longer live together, they have their ownhouse, which although more comfortable for them, but separate them with theirneighbors. People are prone to be more strangers with each other than in theold time.
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Last but not least, compared with ourancestors, we are concerned more about money, profit and things like these, whilesometimes ignore to show friendly to others. In such a practical society, ourbehaviors are largely based on the rule that if this is profitable, if it willbenefit us. As a result, what we feel when contact with others is only the simplyprofitable relationship rather than friendship.' G# {+ H& H' d( v1 ]! x
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To sum up, taking into account of thediscussion mentioned above, we may safely reach the conclusion that people arebecoming not as friendly as ever before.

备注：写的挺好的！尤其是赞第二段。结尾有点急，字数也有点少。不过你全文能写这么多，真是pf呀。词汇变化挺丰富的，层次也清晰！赞哦！

liuguaguaUID: 2569375

哎，自己本来都把好的表达用蓝色标出来了，但是现在又没有了。
不过词汇变换挺多的，学习呀