10.16作文，写到吐

doubledianUID: 2661760

In the recent years, there is a general controversy over the issue whether people have more leisure time nowadays than in the past. Although some people claim that people actually have more leisure time as the convenient of new intention. Personally, I prefer to people has become busier and busier nowadays. And I will provide concrete evidences to demonstrate my point of view.


On one hand, although the development of technology brings a lot of convenient for people, a person even can do everything by a machine instead by himself, I don't think that means he has more free time. For instance, in the past people should use their own hands to watch clothes, this wasted a number of time. Now people can just put their clothes in the washing machine and it can help them wash these clothes. But during the washing time they couldn't do any other things, they have to stand in front of the machine in case some dangers happened and keep their children far away from it. Using machines means people may not too tied to do so many things but not means they save more time to do other things.


On the other hand, it is these new inventions that increase more pressures to people. People should work more hardly or the boss may think that he can fire the worker as he can't do any useful things when compared with the machine. Moreover people who work with a machine should always be careful their own safe. Any dangers can happen. When work with the computers people should care about the radiations from the computer. Once a worker injured by the machine that means he has to use more time to cure himself.



To sum up, people have become busier than they are in the past. They have less time to communicate with their children and friends. And this makes them far away from their families.
  

fanfan0502UID: 2439300

In the recent years（去掉the）, there is a general controversy over the issue whether people have more leisure time nowadays than in the past. Although some people claim that people actually have more leisure time as（as 表示因为时是连词，这里用不合适呀，要不换成 because of 吧） the convenient of new intention（第一，convenient 是adj. 应该用convenience; 第二，你是想写Invention吧？“新发明的方便”好像有点怪， the convenience brought by new invention）. Personally, I prefer to (the position that) people has become busier and busier nowadays. And I will provide concrete evidences to demonstrate my point of view.


On one hand, although the development of technology brings a lot of convenient (convenience) for (是不是用to 比较好？) people, a person even can do everything by a machine instead by himself, I don't think that means he has more free time.
（ 这句使让步从句分太开了,意思有点模糊，也许可以这样写： although the development of technology brings so much convenience for people that they can even do most things by machines instead of by themselves， it doesn’t mean people get more free time, in my point of view. 其实in my point of view也可以不要） For instance, in the past，people should（这里我不是很明白为什么用should？改成 had to 呢？）use their own hands to watch （wash）clothes, this wasted a number of time. Now （Nowadays） people can just put their clothes in the washing machine and it can help them wash these clothes. But during the washing time they couldn't do any other things,（.）They have to stand in front of the machine in case some dangers happened （in case 后面好像不需要用过去式, happen）and keep their children far away from it. Using machines means people may not too tied to （用tie to 的话应该是被动吧）do so many things but not means they save more time to do（for）other things.

On the other hand, it is these new inventions that increase more （more 去掉）pressures to people. People should work more hardly （harder）or the boss may think that he can fire the worker as he （改成the worker, 不然he 指代不清楚）can't do any useful things when compared with the machine. Moreover，people who work with a machine should always be careful （take care of）their own safe. Any (去掉any) Dangers can happen. When work with the computers people should care about the radiations from the computer. Once a worker is injured by the machine, that means (去掉 that means) he has to use more time to cure himself.


To sum up, people have become busier than they are ( used to be 或 were ) in the past. They have less time to communicate with their children and friends. And this makes them far away from their families.（个人感觉，“交流少了”这一点不应该放在结论段，可以作为一个小细节放在上面的论述中）