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brass20yUID: 2454121

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brass20yUID: 2454121

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canlanxingkongUID: 2623477

Commonly, parents are our first mentors in our lives and teach us many fundmental（fundamental） knowledge on (in) the world and society. That is why many people regard them as the best teachers. However, I stand on the other side of them. (这里我认为在重复一遍你的反对观点比较好)
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Nobody can be against the fact that parents perform an important role during our initiatory period. From our childhood, they answer our many basic questions about the world patiently, deliver us their value systems which influence our later lives and teach us how to become a valuable person to the society. But, as our growth, what parents can teach us become less and less except their life experience.（这里很大篇幅说了好处，but后最好多写些来支持你的反面观点，这样重点突出） /

First, without the formal education on teaching skills, parents can not become effective teachers. It is no doubt that most parents have other jobs rather than teachers, which means most of them don't experience any specific training on how to teach students in effective ways. I can present my personal experience to demonstrate the gap between parents and professional teachers. My mother is an advanced finance with above 15-year experience on （in）this area. And she really devoted all of her efforts into teaching me statistics and finance subjects. But the effect (我觉得改为result比较好)didn't meet her expectation: I was often confused on her explanation on some knowledge. Was I stupid or lazy in study? No! On the contrary, I got hugely advanced two months after a professional and young teacher taught me this subject. What is the difference? The answer is teaching skill. The teacher whose experience is not more advanced than my mother, however, he understands what is the best way to communicate with me and how to make me understand knowledge quickly with easy method which my mother, an amateur teacher, can't master. ; （这个例子不错）! d1 S4 i7 Y8 t  \  C0 f4 @, A
Second, teaching capacity of parents is limited. Obviously, most parents are normal people who can't have the well-rounded knowledge base to handle any subject. As fantastic development of technology, we will reach knowledge with more scope and deeper(这个词用的不好，建议换个) than before. It is impossible to learn these advanced and large information from our parents. For example, we can't imagine that Obama would study or ask for positive suggestion on American economy from his parents although his parents are also well-educated. In these cases, an expertise or professional mentor instead of our parents is our best choice (teacher) to help us. 这个例子换个别的吧
In sum, I think we can refer to experience of our parents when we meet some troubles. But, if we want to improve our udnerstanding (understanding)in some subjects, the best way is to seek a professional teacher or expertise.

写的不错哦，内容比较充实，我们在词的运用上在下下功夫，加油！

karen_0315UID: 2590040

11.2 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.  

Commonly, parents are our first mentors in our lives and teach us many fundmental knowledge on the world and society. That is why many people regard them as the best teachers. However, I stand on the other side of them.  `

Nobody can be against the fact that parents perform an important role during our initiatory period. From our childhood, they answer our many basic questions about the world patiently, deliver us their value systems which influence our later lives and teach us how to become a valuable person to the society. But, as our growth, what parents can teach us become less and less except their life experience.

First, without the formal education on teaching skills, parents can become effective teachers. It is no doubt that most parents have other jobs rather than teacher(s), which means most of them don't experience any specific training on how to teach students in effective ways. I can present my personal experience to demonstrate the gap between parents and professional teachers. My mother is an advanced finance with above 15-year experience on this area. And she really devoted all of her efforts into teaching me statistics and finance subjects. But the effect didn't meet her expectation: I was often confused on her explanation on some knowledge. Was I stupid or lazy in study? No! On the contrary, I got hugely advanced two months after a professional and young teacher taught me this subject. What is the difference (between these two kinds of teaching)? The answer is teaching skill. The teacher whose experience is not more advanced than my mother, however, he understands what is the best way to communicate with me and how to make me understand knowledge quickly with easy method which my mother, an amateur teacher, can't master.

Second, teaching capacity of parents is limited. Obviously, most parents are normal people who can't have the well-rounded knowledge base to handle any subject. As fantastic development of technology, we will reach knowledge with more scope and deeper than before. It is impossible to learn these advanced and large information from our parents. For example, we can't imagine that Obama would study or ask for positive suggestion on American economy from his parents although his parents are also well-educated. In these cases, an expertise or professional mentor instead of our parents is our best choice to help us.

In sum, I think we can refer to experience of our parents when we meet some troubles. But, if we want to improve our udnerstanding in some subjects, the best way is to seek a professional teacher or expertise.

从楼主给我批改的作文来看定是一个英语基础好的高人，语言应用能力极强。但是在把握主旨上有点偏差，首先没有直接回答题目的问题，这是最重要的，第一段就应该阐明。每段的首句都没有能够有力的证明观点，虽然内容是这个意思，但是根本不够noticeable，对ETS的标准还不是太了解。一二段合一下就行。语言向你学习~顺便问一下怎么练的语言，请指教一下~

brass20yUID: 2454121

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soarer0474UID: 2665789

11.3 Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer! a* ^9 y; B$ H! m+ f: {% d& G: _
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Where to live: in a small town or big city? Depending on their age and experience, different people have different answer on this question. For me, an adolescent, staying in a big city is a natural choice.
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Abundant opportunities and challenges in career in big cities are the first appealling factor. As a young man who likes to challenge his capabilities and go beyond, I prefer to overcoming challenges and then appreciate the mental happiness when I was a child. For example, in Shanghai which is called orient pearl and is the most modern city in China, the number of universities accounts for 30% of the whole country, job opens are more than twice of ones in any other province, and its tax is one-fourth of the total amount of country. In a word, in the biggest city, a person, especially a young man with specific skills, excellent academic scores and master degree like me, can easily take a decent job, and even a great opportunity to develop his career better. That is why, according to survey, more than 1800 youths migrate into Shanghai to seek opportunity to change their lives every day.  I am also a young man with ambition. Therefore, I select to live in a big city to improve myself. . Q4 p5 Q* B& m
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Moreover, generally speaking, pay in a big city is much higher than small town. It makes sense because the economy of big city is well developed and resident there can make more money than ones in countryside. For a young man, I want to make more money to support my family. Actually, my parents brought me up for dozens of years and paid for my education. Now, when I was able to earn money indepedently (independently), my first thought was to give back my parents (是想表达回报的意思，似乎不恰当吧，pay back 怎么样，想到更好的q我一个)and try my best to bring them better life such as living in bigger house, buying private car for them and purchasing better social insurance for them(第一个living的主语是parents，后两个成I了，而且两个for them，改成living in bigger house, driving private car and owning the better social insurance). However, all of those need money. Thus, after my graduation, I required myself to take a job with high salary. It is more possible to reach the goal to live in big city. Then I choose to stay in Shanghai., q" _0 ~& F$ y+ L

3 l* e) h9 K; Z1 h+ ~  m" UFinally, I prefer the better service and transportation system in modern city. Let me share my personal experience with you. In National holiday, I travelled (traveled) to Istanbul, a modern city in Europe, and Cambodia, a developing country. Despite the beautiful natural scene in Cambodia, I felt happier to visit Istanbul due to its convenient service and powerful transportation. Different from Cambodia, in Istanbul, I could order a Pizza only with a call or via website, travel around the big city in just two hours in city bus and subway, and even view the scene of the whole city in helicopt. However, in Cambodia, it is totally another story. I couldn't drive a car for the terrible road, I must live in a house without window, and I wasn't able to access cell and Internet, which means I couldn't contact with my friends. The whole trip in the country was horrible experience.  It wasn't my favorite life.
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In sum, people in different age will make diversified choices living in between big city and small one(这个句子有问题). But for a young man, like me, the answer is definitely the former - to stay in a big one!

写的很好啊
文笔很流畅，只是偶尔有些小的语法错误，
赞！

brass20yUID: 2454121

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canlanxingkongUID: 2623477

11.3 Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer
Where to live: in a small town or big city? Depending on their age and experience, different people have different answer on this question. For me, an adolescent, staying in a big city is a natural choice. 开头简练明确 很好

Abundant opportunities and challenges in career in big cities are the first appealling factor（复数？）. As a young man who likes to challenge his capabilities and go beyond, I prefer to overcoming challenges and then appreciate the mental happiness when I was a child（when前后时态不一致）. For example, in Shanghai which is called orient pearl and is the(a) most modern city in China, the number of universities accounts for 30% of the whole country, job opens are more than twice of ones in any other province, and its tax is one-fourth of the total amount of country. In a word, in the biggest city, a person, especially a young man with specific skills, excellent academic scores and master degree like me, can easily take a decent job, and even a great opportunity to develop his career better. That is why, according to survey, more than 1800 youths migrate into Shanghai to seek opportunity to change their lives every day.  I am also a young man with ambition. Therefore, I select to live in a big city to improve myself.

Moreover, generally speaking, pay in big city is much higher than small town. It makes sense because the economy of big city is well developed and resident(residents) there can make more money than ones in countryside. For a young man, I want to make more money to support my family. Actually, my parents brought me up for dozens of years and paid for my education. Now, when I was able to earn money indepedently, my first thought was to give back my parents (这句表达意思不明确，I was eager to use the money to reciprocate my parents. 可以这样说么 共同切磋啊 我的也不怎么样)and try(tried) my best to bring them better life such as living in bigger house, buying private car for them and purchasing better social insurance for them. However, all of those need money. Thus, after my graduation, I required myself to take a job with high salary. It is more possible to reach the goal to live in big city. Then I choose to stay in Shanghai
Finally, I prefer the better service and transportation system in modern city. Let me share my personal experience with you. In National holiday, I travelled to Istanbul, a modern city in Europe, and Cambodia, a developing country. Despite the beautiful natural scene in Cambodia, I felt (much)happier to visit Istanbul due to its convenient service and powerful transportation. Different from Cambodia, in Istanbul, I could order a Pizza only with a call or via website, travel around the big city in just two hours in city bus and subway, and even view the scene of the whole city in helicopt. However, in Cambodia, it is totally another story. I couldn't drive a car for the terrible road, I must live in a house without window, and I wasn't able to access cell and Internet, which means I couldn't contact with my friends. The whole trip in the country was horrible experience.  It wasn't my favorite life.

In sum, people in different age will make diversified choice living in between big city and small one. But for a young man, like me, the answer is definitely the former - to stay in (a)big one!

写作功底很好啊，文笔流畅，句型也很多，有些地方我指出来了，一起加油

daisy840228UID: 2684617

11.4 It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books." Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?: [$ e% |" g' \0 o
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Most people are heard-heard, 不用被动语态吧 that not every knowledge is included in books. However, many of them misunderstand the proverb and underestimate the educational power of books. For me, I agree that it is more important to learn from books than from practical experience.
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First, knowledge from books is much broader than from experience of any single-用得好 person. It is no doubt that a senior wisdom couldn't experience and master so much knowledge contained in books which are stored in a library of a small college. Let's take a look at the concrete figure: according to public survey, there are about 100,000 books in the smallest library in China. Even for a fast leaner, he will at least spend 150 years to review all of these books once. Therefore, from these data, we could easily reach an conclusion that from books, we can gain knowledge several times from our practical experience. ' j5 v: m4 x, Q/ r7 W2 \/ d. q3 C! M, q
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Second, learning from books is a significantly flexible method to develop ourselves, which means, we can read books and study from books at our spare time such as taking a subway. Let me take myself as an example. Every morning, I go to office on a city bus and subway. It costs me about one and half hours. During this period, due to the crowds in bus, it is impossible for me to experience something but reading books or newspaper to learn more. In our lives, you can watch many similar scenario: in a shuttle, many people are killing time through reading; before sleep, I often review some interesting news from magzines for half an hour. Together-好, we realize that studying knowledge from books is really a flexible way, which can utilize our spare and leisure time, to accelerate our learning.
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Finally, sometimes, book is the only way for us to obtain some knowledge. I don't know how many chinese still remember a famous series of books for children, named "Millions of Why", which contains much fundamental knowledge of multi-subjects such as astronomy, geography, medicine, math, animals and plants. At least, I remember for the memory is impressive. However, in my later 20-year life, I only experience a little knowledge of those that I learned from these books in my childhood. What happened? That is because  for most people, we have no resource to experience some special knowledge. For example, almost everybody knows that earth is a beautiful blue ball if you watch it from the airship. But, how many people really watch this image rather than looking at picture from books? I guess most 99% of us have no opportunity to gain this knowledge from our practical experience.-细节把握不错 Hence, for this special knowledge, it is the only way to catch from books.
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In sum, I hold the argument that gaining knowledge from books is more important than from our own practical experience. 7# brass20y
总体写得挺好的，观点明确，结构清晰，细节支撑得挺好的，语言能力比较强

brass20yUID: 2454121

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