12.8-Independent writing

lingyeminUID: 2538874

With the rapid development of modern economy, now products arebeing devised every minute of every day, all of which will impact human in somerespect. Some people believe that the most effective invention is thetelevision, because it can provides us a lot of way to release. However, I deemthat printed book have greater effects on society than television has, and thereasons are as follows.

In the first place, the price of a book is lower than a television’s.
Although in present almost every family canafford a television, it still costs them about two thousand Yuan or even more.If they use this money, they are able to buy more than two hundred printedbooks. Also, in this way, they can buy different fields' books, whereas onlyone television they can choose. Otherwise, people can put some books in theirbackpacks, and when they have time and opportunities, they are able to enjoybooks which make their life more convenient, but the television cannot do it.

In addition, nowadays we mainly get knowledge through reading theprinted books. The television offers us some programs to watch, such us news,alive shows and so on, but it only limits to release us, or provide us someinformation not to give us systemic knowledge. We eager to acquire some usefulknowledge, for example chemical equations, the principal of the relative theoryand the grammar of Spanish. There is no any TV program to show us aboveknowledge. Printed book is more useful than the television.

Finally, through reading books we can understand differentculture, custom, and religious expressions of another countries. If we requirewe also are capable of finding some history books, which will tell us whathappened in the past five thousand years age in any place and they carry thehistory of human. On the contrary, television only can provide today'sinformation. Sometime, based on the commercial purpose, television programs aredevised to attract audiences' attention. From this point, we can realize thatprinted book contains more practical functions than television.

In conclusion, the advantages of printed book are more thantelevision’s. The printed book leads our life more convenient, gives us moreknowledge and contains more practical functions.




请大家狠批，骂得越痛是为了我的成长和进步，感谢批我的人！！！

cavadorisUID: 2646574

With the rapid development of modern economy, now products arebeing devised every minute of every day, all of which will impact human in some respect. Some people believe that the most effective invention is thetelevision, because it can provides（原形） us a lot of way to release. However, I deemthat printed book have greater effects on society than television has, and the reasons are as follows.
' N1 Y7 ~/ P8 }! I, H
% y3 h" b, m7 H. o! |4 _In the first place, the price of a book is lower than a television’s.) ~. w& `& h- k; A8 ?
Although in present almost every family canafford a television, it still costs them about two thousand Yuan or even more.If they use this money, they are able to buy more than two hundred printedbooks. Also, in this way, they can buy different fields' books, whereas onlyone television they can choose. Otherwise, people can put some books in theirbackpacks, and when they have time and opportunities, they are able to enjoybooks which make their life more convenient, but the television cannot do it.（连接词用的很好，但是分论点和主论点的关系ms不太明晰）# H! d0 e" W! u" k   l; i1 Y; m! A8 f
In addition, nowadays we mainly get knowledge through reading theprinted books. The television offers us some programs to watch, such us news,alive shows and so on, but it only limits to release us, or provide us someinformation not to give us systemic knowledge.（建议lz改一下这句话的结构 有点简单而且冗余） We （are）eager to acquire some usefulknowledge, for example chemical equations, the principal（用名词形式） of the relative theoryand the grammar of Spanish. There is no any TV program to show us aboveknowledge. Printed book is more useful than the television.7 S4 i; O8 }: ]  {. I（仍然是那个问题，分论点和主论点关系不明确）

# v* y' @) Q, W2 L/ V% rFinally, through reading books we can understand differentculture, custom, and religious expressions of another countries. If we requirewe also are capable of finding some history books, which will tell us whathappened in the past five thousand years age（ago） in any place and they carry thehistory of human. On the contrary, television only can provide today'sinformation. Sometime, based on the commercial purpose, television programs aredevised to attract audiences' attention. From this point, we can realize thatprinted book contains more practical functions than television.4 I/ P1 ^- \) H/ V

, }" W, Q: f; M$ N2 P, EIn conclusion, the advantages of printed book are more thantelevision’s. The printed book leads our life more convenient, gives us moreknowledge and contains more practical functions.

lz思路很清晰，表达也很清楚，句子只有略微小错误，如果可以连着写一些长句子或者用一些较为高级的词语，有一个问题就是lz的分论点和主论点关系没点到位，也就是说为什么book便宜就可以对人类影响更大呢？这个lz没有说出来，三段都如此，我的浅见，仅供参考。一起加油！

daboraUID: 2574809

With the rapid development of modern economy, now products are being devised in every minute of every day, all of which will impact human in some respects. Some people believe that the most effective invention is the television, because it can provides us a lot of ways to release. However, I deem that printed book have greater effects on society than television has, and thereasons are as follows.
In the first place, the price of a book is lower than a television’s.
Although in present almost every family can afford a television, it still costs them about two thousand Yuan or even more.If they use this money invest it in other ways, they are able to buy more than two hundred printedbooks. Also, in this way, they can buy different fields' booksbooks in different fields, whereas onlyone television they can choose. Otherwise, people can put some books in theirbackpacks, and when they have time and opportunities, they are able to enjoybooks which make their life more convenient, but the television cannot do it.
  In addition, nowadays we mainly get knowledge through reading the可以不要printed books. The television offers us some programs to watch, such us news,alive shows and so on, but it only limits to release us, or provide us someinformation not to give us systemic knowledge. We are eager to acquire some useful knowledge, for example chemical equations, the principal of the relative theoryand the grammar of Spanish. There is no any TV program to show us above knowledge. Printed book is more useful than the television.
  Finally, through reading books we can understand different culture, custom, and religious expressions of another countries. If we require,we also are capable of finding some history books, which will tell us what happened in the past five thousand years age in any place and they carry the history of human. On the contrary, television only can provide today'sinformation. Sometime, based on the commercial purpose, television programs are devised to attract audiences' attention. From this point, we can realize thatprinted book contains more practical functions than television.
  In conclusion, the advantages of printed book are more thantelevision’s. The printed book leads our life more convenient, gives us moreknowledge and contains more practical functions.
总体来说，文章还是不错的，语法，逻辑都很好，建议作者注意用词的变化，增加同义词及同义词组，使句子更加漂亮