毛毛虫爬啊爬

qhyqhy88UID：2632963

12.8 printed book have had greater effects on society than television has？
From my obvious, People get more from pointed book than from TV. As we know, with the high speed of progress of the technology. Our life becomes more and more convenient. And people get increase number of information from TV that much more than pointed books. But what we can see is that book always has the more important position on society than TV.
Firstly, Book is easy to get for review and can read in any place that makes it have no limited except with enough light for read. In the opposite, TV needs ecologic what can not get in any place. So for students, read through pointed book better than TV.
Secondly, The content of book is choosed carefully. But information from TV has not been picked up, So we will get more unuseful information which we have no choose to receive. And it will be easy for us in pointed book that if we have no interest in the content what we should do is move our view light to the thing we want or need focus on.
Thirdly, From the ecology, we know that the moving thing can get more attention for mammal. And may be we have the experiences that times fly when we are watching TV and don’t know how it can be. But we can control our time when we are reading books. It looks like the machine can control our mind.
So, today we always use pointed book as textbook and TV just be the assistant to education.

qhyqhy88UID：2632963

第一次写……

cavadorisUID：2646574

[/color] printed book have had greater effects on society than television has？5 Z! f$ h5 g/ [7 U0 P) u  ?: o7 {
From my obvious[color=Red]（？？）[/color], People get more from [color=Red]pointed [/color]book than from TV. As we know, with the high speed of progress of the technology. Our life becomes more and more convenient. And people get increase number of information from TV that much more than pointed books. But what we can see is that book always has the more important position on society than TV.
. C0 y4 |, O& [6 L) cFirstly, Book is easy to get for review and can read in any place that makes it have no limited except with enough light for read.（[color=Red]that从句貌似有点别扭，修饰什么呢？）[/color] In the opposite, TV needs [color=Red]ecologic（名词形式）[/color] [color=Red]what（that）[/color] can not get in any place. So for students, read [color=Red]（ing）[/color]through pointed book [color=Red]（is）[/color]better than TV.
0 G# L9 C! F# P: u) `Secondly, The content of book is choosed carefully. But information from TV has not been picked up, So we will get more unuseful information which we have no choose[color=Red]（choice） [/color]to receive. And it will be easy for us in pointed book that if we have no interest in the content what we should do is move our view light to the thing we want or need focus on.
* e4 ]+ u9 l% i! Y( D# k$ bThirdly, From the ecology, we know that the moving thing can get more attention for mammal. And may be we have the experiences that times fly when we are watching TV and don’t know how it can be. But we can control our time when we are reading books. It looks like the machine can control our mind.6 c6 [; p( I3 v: p" w9 `
So, today we always use pointed book as textbook and TV just be the assistant to education.（这一段的观点最好在开头点出 不是很明确）

额 看得出来lz是第一次写 不过写成这样已经不错了 先鼓励下 思路还算清晰 就是没有点出分论点和主论点之间的关系 结尾段总结也没有 还有就是lz的语法最好再强化一下 许多比较基本的问题还是存在的 不过多加练习就会好的 加油加油！

还我用户名UID：2733880

From my obvious[没有这个说话，可以说from my perspective或者It is obvious that], People get more[在口语中可以说get more，在正式的考试作文中应该把话说完get more XX]from pointed[printed,这种错误要尽量少烦，完全可以在写完之后的检查中找出来] book than from .
As we know, with the high speed of progress of the technology. Our life becomes more and more convenient. And people get increase[increasing增长的] number of information from TV that much more than pointed books. But what we can see is that book always has the more important position on society than TV. [你这段逻辑有点问题啊，为什么从电视上得到更多的信息，但它的影响力又不如书籍呢？倒数第二句话是不是可以改成And television, offers us increasing number of information, impacts our society more and more profoundly.]

Firstly, Book is easy to get for review[reviewing] and can read[be read] in any place that makes it have no limited[little liminations,说no太绝对了] except with enough light for read[后面这个显得比较多余，而且很绕，native speaker不容易看懂]. In the opposite[In opposite或In contrast], TV needs ecologic[electricity for operating] what[which/that] can not get[你的get太多了，说明你积累的东西比较少,可以换成access,gain,obtain等等] in any place. So for students, read through pointed book better than TV.[最后这句总结有点问题，你可以写宽泛一点，就说Thus, printed book is sufficient to satisfy most of people who need amont of information, which can be fulfilled by television.]

Secondly, The content of book is choosed carefully. But information from TV has not been picked up, So we will get more unuseful information which we have no choose to receive. And it will be easy for us in pointed book that if we have no interest in the content what we should do is move our view light to the thing we want or need focus on.[这段比较牵强，说服力不足。而且第二句话让人看不懂。写作的思维太中国了....]

Thirdly, From the ecology[considering from the angle of ecology], we know that the moving thing can get more attention for mammal[这句话是什么意思]. And may be we have the experiences that times fly when we are watching TV and don’t know how it can be. But we can control our time when we are reading books. It looks like the machine can control our mind.[哈哈，你是在说某人吗？不过这个表达也比较中国，美国人看了可能会不太懂. And youmay have the similar experience that you feel times fly when you werewatching TV, television wastes our time and let us be a couch potatoeasily.]. [总的来说，这一段有点偏题了。题目要我们论证的是书还是电视对社会的影响大，也就说书更容易影响人，还是电视更容易影响人。如果你说电视他浪费时间，还control了我们思想，那岂不是言下之意说电视的影响更大吗？尽管某些影响是负面的。所以你可以找其他的论点来支撑你的main idea.]

So, today we always use pointed book as[such as] textbook and TV just be[is just] the assistant to education.[偷懒！完全可以再多写点。]

总的问题：
1.没有认真分析过题目，在下笔前没有做到胸中有框架，胸中有论点。论据也比较缺乏，还需要平时积累例子支撑你的论点。
2.词汇比较缺乏，特别是动词。一些常用的动词，比如“获得（知识，信息，荣誉等等）”，“达到（目标，成就，）”，等等，你可以直接在词典中输入这些单词，看看有哪些表达，记一下就OK了。还有一些常用的名词，比如“影响”“信息”“发展”，形容他们的形容词也应该积累一些，比如“巨大的”影响，“巨大”就有好几种说法；“大量的”信息，“大量”就有好几种说法；“快速的”发展，“长足的”发展，这些都应该积累，是吧。

建议：
1.建议你用灵格斯软件来查字典，再下载一个“牛津学生搭配词典”，这是李笑来老师推荐的词典，面对上面那些搭配的问题，很容易就解决了。比如你输入development，里面就会告诉你可以用full development, rapid development, gradual development等等。
2.多看范文。看范文是怎么构建一篇文章，怎么展开一个topic sentence,怎么去用词，怎么写句子。这些东西都需要你好好去分析。分析了，理解了，自然就记住了，就慢慢化为你的东西。你现在写不出来，很有可能是你“输入”的不够。只有大量看，大量记忆，大量输入，你才有可能“下笔如有神”。所以，首先还是要解决你“输入”的问题。
3.在听力中，在你看阅读文章的时候，也要有意识地积累各种表达。我们所接触的那些材料，都是出自native speaker的，所以用他们的说法一定不会有错。
4.希望你真的能飞跃，不管是飞跃重洋，还是超越自己。

daboraUID：2574809

12.8 printed book have had greater effects on society than television has？
From my obviouspoint of view , People get more from pointed book than thatfrom TV. As we know, with the high speed of rapidprogress of the 不要technology. Our life becomes more and more convenient. And people get increase increasednumber of information from TV that much 不要more than pointed books. But what we can see is that book always has the不需要 more important position on insociety than TV.
Firstly, Book is easy to get for review and can be read in any place that makes it have no limited except with enough light for readas long as in the plentiful light. In the opposite, TV needs ecologic what can not get in any place.这句话没看懂 So for students, reading through pointed book is better than TV.
Secondly, The content of book is choosed carefully. But information from TV has not been picked up, was varied. So we will get more unuseful改成useless information which we have no choose to receive. And it will be easy for us in pointed book that if we have no interest in the content .what we should do isto move our view light to the thing we want or need  to focus on.
Thirdly, From the ecology, we know that the moving thing can get more attention for mammal. And may be we have the experiences that times fly time flieswhen we are watching TV and don’t know how it can be. But we can control our time when we are reading books. It looks like the machine can control our mind.
So, today we always use pointed book as textbook and TV just be the assistant to education.
黛二已经给你提了很多中肯的建议了，而我的建议是第一步要加强语法的训练，其中有很多语法错误是可以避免的，只有基本功练扎实了，才可以进行第二步及以后的彩中出彩

djy1333UID：2619415

这个  有点短···

lingyeminUID：2538874

12.8 printed book have had greater effects on society than television has？$ z; r " r3 z- M1 D) z0 P From my obvious(加个名词）, People get more from pointed book than from TV. As we know, with the high speed of progress of the technology. Our life becomes more and more convenient. And people get increase number of information from TV that much more than pointed books. But what we can see is that book always has（is ） more important position on society than TV. Firstly, Book is easy to get for review and can read in any place that makes it have no limited except with enough light for read.（这句话可以用短句写成两句，会更加清晰你要表达的内容） In the opposite, TV needs ecologic（这个是形容词，应加个名词，environment） what can not get in any place. So for students,（提学生一下子有点突兀，从上面你讲的来看，范围很大，一下子缩小范围，要注意同一段落中最好范围一致） read through pointed book better than TV.* P! O( r5 Z6 B * P3 z! r Secondly, The content of book is choosed carefully. But information from TV has not been picked up, So we will get more unuseful information which we have no choose to receive. And it will be easy for us in pointed book that if we have no interest in the content what we should do is（to) move our view light to the thing we want or need focus on. Thirdly, From the ecology, we know that the moving thing can get more attention for mammal. And may be we have the experiences that times fly when we are watching TV and don’t know how it can be. But we can control our time when we are reading books. It looks like the machine can control our mind.: f9 s9 c" X( |9 Q+ So, today we always use pointed book as textbook and TV just be the assistant to education. 通篇写完一定要在写一个结尾！大作文字数最低的要求是300，楼主加油!