12.10 狠批，觉得写的一般，请多多指教

michael_beyondUID：2704216

According to a recent survey, there are two different atmospheres among childern, one is that more and more childern have unpleasant associations with their study but they are accomplished at household chores, another one is that a part of childern only study or play and it seems that the household chore is of no business on them after they go home everyday.I feel that the childer not only should study and play, but also should learn to do household chores.

If a child is never willing to do household chores, he may donot know how to stand on his own feet in the future. For example, a friend of mine called Yang, he has never done any household chores from childhood to being an adult. Well after he graduated from high school, he attended a university where is so far from his hometown, so here is the thing, he didnot know how to deal with the chores during his colledge time without parents around. Now he always says to me that he regrets not having learnt to do household chores before.

On the other hand, only do household chores and never study or play is not a good idea. I think a child should receive education,it is necessary for him/her to study for he/she may be  the hope of his/her family as a good saying goes: childern are the hope in the future, only he receive further education he can be an educated and can make greater contributions to society, meanwhile he also should play sometimes, afterwards a child should have a happy childhood possible, and play can also adjust himself after fatigue study.

In summary, a child not only should study or play, but also should learn to do household chores, both of which are important to them, so how to balance it may depend on that developing a regular lifestyle and this includes knowing when to study or play and when to do household chores.

daboraUID：2574809

According to a recent survey, there are two different atmospheres among childern, one is that more and more 删掉childern have unpleasant associations with their study but they are accomplished at household chores, 应该两个句子了，用句号another one is that a part of childern only study or play and it seems that the household chore is of no business on them after they go home everyday.I feel that the childer not only should study and play, but also should learn to do household chores.If a child is never willing to do household chores, he may donot know how to stand onby his own feet in the future. For example, a friend of mine called Yang, he has never done any household chores from childhood to being an adult. Well after he graduated from high school, he attended a university where用 which is so far from his hometown, so here is the thing, he didnot know how to deal with the chores during his colledge time without parents around. Now he always says to me that 不需要 he regrets not having learnt to do household chores before.  
On the other hand, only do 改doing household chores and never 改 without study or play is not a good idea. I think a child should receive education,it is necessary for him/her to study for he/she may be  the hope of his/her family as a good saying goes: childern are the hope in the future, only he receive further education he can be an educated and can make greater contributions to the society, meanwhile he also should play sometimes, afterwards a child should have a happy childhood possible, and play can also adjust himself after fatigue 改exhausted study.
In summary, a child not only should study or play, but also should learn to do household chores, both of which are important to them, so how to balance it may depend on that developing a regular lifestyle 这句话的结构有问题and this includes knowing when to study or play and when to do household chores.
总体感觉这篇文章比较混乱，语法，结构，虽然给与例子证明，但是具体的例子相对淡薄，楼主还是用中国人的思维在写作文，所以总体感觉不够地道，小小建议，呵呵，我这篇写得也不好。但是这次的很多句子断的不好。