1/4, 2010

wuqian0801UID: 2637709

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It’s better to make friends with intelligent people than with people who have a good sense of humor.

There is no denying that people’s achievements are associated greatly with their friends. Thus, what kind of fellows should people made is becoming a matter of concern for more and more people. And what the main contradiction between this topic is whether the knowledgeable friends or the humorous friends can benefits to you even more. As for me, I am in favor of making friends with wise people and my leading reasons are listed as follows.

In the first place, the bright friends play an essential role in giving an appropriate suggestion. Take my uncle as an example. My uncle is an entrepreneur. But over the late months, uncle was confronted with an intractable problem about reforming the out-dated company’s system. Tom, his friend, is proficient at dealing management problems, and then provided more helps, like tell uncle how to cope with the core issue about employees’ welfare, how to increase workers’ activities in producing and even how to balance the relationship between employer and employees. Those advices are really pertinent and favorable to let my uncle go out of the dilemma. And now, uncle’s company is flourishing operating. All of these improvements cannot live without the help of Tom and his correct suggestion.

In the second place, the other crucial reason for me to make friends with smart people is that they will give us a hand in solving some problems that we cannot settle. In my own case, I am not interested in mathematics and always kill too much time in calculating one simple task. Mary is my closed friend and also she is the top student in my class. Once I have encountered a question as usual in math. Then she came and told me the method in solving these similar problems. Gradually, I find out all the questions are analogous and I can use one method to work out them. Now I can solve mathematic problems more quickly and smoothly. Thanks to Mary’s analysis.

Finally, if people can make friends with those humorous people, it would be beneficial to relieve ourselves. When we are depressed or frustrated, maybe they will play jokes and active the atmosphere to let us forget those unpleasant memories. So we still cannot neglect the importance of making friends with those witty people.

To sum up, on the way to succeed, we really need the help from our friends, wise friends or humorous friends. However, from the mentioned above, we can easily draw a conclusion that making friends with those knowledgeable people will benefit you more in your study or career when taken the advisable suggestion and helpfulness into consideration.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

There is no denying that people’s achievements are associated greatly with their friends. (I'm not sure what kind of relationship between 'achievements' and 'friends' you are trying to express. Are you saying people would appear to have achieved more if they have more friends? Are you saying friends help people in getting achievements? One mere 'associate' doesn't reveal much useful information, and that is one of the surest signs of template usage. Please be assured that I'm not saying template is no good. What I hope is for people to do a bit MORE than just filling up templates..) Thus, what kind of fellows should people make is becoming a matter of concern for more and more people. And what the main contradiction between (This question is about a personal preference, not a 'contradiction'. A 'contradiction' is an opposing, inconsistent difference between things, e.g. 'a round square' is a contradiction, because a square can never be round. This question, on the other hand, is not a contradiction, because intelligence and humor are not naturally opposing or inconsistent with each other.  They are not like fire and water. The question is just asking which you think is better.) this topic is whether the knowledgeable ('Intelligent' is not quite the same as 'knowledgeable'.) friends or the humorous friends can benefits to you even more. As for me, I am in favor of making friends with wise ('Intelligent' is not quite the same as 'wise' either. If you wish to rephrase, make sure you understand your vocabulary well and make sure you won't twist the meaning of the original question. Otherwise, you can rephrase and explain your understanding of the topic with a few more sentences, but generally speaking it's safer to stick to the original wording when declaring your opinion or topic.) people and my leading reasons are listed as follows.

In the first place, the bright friends play an essential role in giving an appropriate suggestions. Take my uncle as an example. My uncle is an entrepreneur, but over the late months, uncle he was confronted with an the intractable problem about of reforming the out-dated company’s out-dated system (What system? Computer? Machinery? Human resource? Garbage disposal? Lunch catering? That's what it means to be 'specific'.). Tom, his friend, is proficient at dealing with management problems. and He then provided more helps, like telling my uncle how to cope with the core issues about employees’ welfare, how to increase workers’ activities in producing (You can use 'productivity'.) and even how to balance the relationship between the employer and employees. Those advices are really (It's not necessary to add 'really' to a statement. It will not add weight to your claim, but rather weaken it.) pertinent and favorable (This word means 'getting affection and approval', which is not necessarily what an advice needs to be. Simply put: I don't see why 'favorable' is an important factor in helping your uncle.) to let help my uncle go out ('Let' has a sense of permission to do things, which is not really what you want to express here.) of the dilemma ('Di-lemma' means a problem of choosing between TWO equally undesirable things. I understand what you're trying to express, but you didn't show what the 'dilemma' exactly was. You didn't describe two problems that your uncle must choose from. You were saying he had ONE problem, and one problem is not a dilemma.). And now, my uncle’s company's operation is flourishing operating. All of these improvements cannot live be possible ('Improvements' don't 'live'.) without the help of Tom and his correct (If you just used the word 'intelligent' given to you, it would be a nice conclusion, but alas, you didn't. That makes this an open-ended argument again. You must relate your example BACK to the question to close your logic. Also, you're expected to demonstrate why is such a friend BETTER than a humorous one. Take both sides into your account.) suggestions.

In the second place, the other crucial reason for me to make friends with smart people is that they will give us a hand in solving some problems that we cannot settle (Sounds similar to the 1st point, espeically that your last example was exactly about how a friend gave your uncle a hand in solving a problem he couldn't settle.). In my own case, I am not interested in mathematics and always kill too much time ('Kill time' means you have nothing better to do and just let time pass by. It's not the same as 'wasting time' on a problem.) in calculating one simple task. Mary is my closed friend and also she is the top student in my class. Once I have encountered a question as usual in math. Then she came and told me the method in solving these similar problems (You said you had 'a question', so where did 'these similar problems' come from?). Gradually, I find out all the questions are analogous and I can use one method to work out them out. Now I can solve mathematic problems more quickly and smoothly, thanks to Mary’s analysis.

Finally, if people can make friends with those humorous people, it would be beneficial to relieve ourselves of stress?. When we are depressed or frustrated, maybe they will play jokes (You don't 'play' jokes. You 'tell' jokes.) and active the atmosphere (This is a direct translation. Something more inline with 'uplift the mood'.) to let us forget those unpleasant memories. So we still cannot neglect the importance of making friends with those witty ('Witty' is not the same as 'humorous'. It's in fact close to 'intelligent'.) people.

To sum up, on the way to success, we really need the help from our friends, (This is YOUR rationalization of the problem, not given in the question. Therefore you need to put something like 'as said in the opening' before 'on the way to success' to indicate where this came from. Don't expect your reader to remember you discussed it before. Remind them you did.). wise friends or humorous friends. However, from the what's mentioned above, we can easily draw a conclusion that making friends with those knowledgeable people will benefit you more in your study or career when taking their advisable suggestions and helpfulness into consideration.

总结：

虽然还是有模板的痕迹，不过至少没有一开篇就跑题，是个进步 XD

语法 - 你的句读比较差，就是不知道什么时候该分句，什么时候该复句，关联词的使用也限于最基本的and, the, because这些，不过现在大部分都能用对。现在要注意的就是 1. and then不要连着用，是非常口语化、语气很弱也很破碎的说法；2. 客观表述的语言中，尽量不要用some, those这些词放在复数泛指名词前面，会削弱语气，而且没有任何实际的意义，换句话说就是用直接的动词词组就够了。比如make friends就是make friends，不要说make some friends。除非你想表达的是‘交一些朋友’，那么就是说‘交朋友’这个概念是次要的，这个‘一些’的语气弱化才是你想特别着重的，这个就不是客观陈述性的文字而是有主观感情色彩了。只是想说一个客观、泛指的‘交朋友’完全不用弱化语气。当你要用the来特指名词的时候才反而是应该多想想是不是可以用代词来代替the，有具体的指向，逻辑会更流畅，例子见正文最后一句。

词汇 - 1. 语序的问题，有些短语的语序很是诡异。。 2. 还是近义词不要滥用。

逻辑 - 1. 每段结尾都要点题，点题的意思是很字面上的：先解释为什么你的例子说明了题目问你的东西，然后把你的观点再说一遍，像Thus, I agree/disagree that xxx xxx xxx。你现在作到解释这个例子说明了什么问题的程度，就差后面那么一句。2. 这个问题是个比较题（better...than...)，你立论、论述和点题的时候也都要做到两方比较，只说一方的话是逻辑不严密的。

wuqian0801UID: 2637709

2# mpromanus

请问，单词词义模糊要怎么解决呢？ 不能重复用词 可是最后却用错了同义词 这要怎么办啊？

这些词的差别要怎么克服？

谢谢..

mpromanusUID: 2565872

关于近义词的区别：看字典，要英英的字典，字典的解释会告诉你近义词之间细微的不同，最重要的是你可以从解释中看到这个词一般用在什么样的语境下。比如，intelligent的意思是having a large capacity for mental activities，而wise的意思是deep understanding and capable of making sound judgements，所以intelligent用在纯粹脑力劳动的场合，猜谜啊，作算术，读书之类，而wise用在判断、处理世俗事情相关的场合，比如投资啊，长辈给小辈建议啊，待嫁的姑娘挑男人啊 - 所以你可以说一个小孩读书很好，很intelligent，但是不说小孩读书很好很wise，一般都是说长辈wise，这样。dilemma和contradiction之类的词同理。

你的问题不是说用错同义词，你是不知道那些同义词应该用在什么样的场合 - 就像中文里要说 死，你看有多少种说法：皇帝死了叫 驾崩，出家人死了叫 圆寂，坏人死了叫 呜呼，烈士死了叫 牺牲，正式的场合说 逝世，玩笑的场合说 挂掉，委婉的时候说 走了，文雅的时候说 永别。。老百姓之间说 没了 不能说 驾崩，新闻联播一般说 逝世 不可能说 挂掉，是一样的道理。英文单词同样有这个区别，你要用好单词就要一样知道每个词都可以用在什么样的场合和语境。

我知道这是一项艰苦的工作，要一点一点地把这些词语和语境都记起来，并不是一件容易的事情。所以有一个迂回之道，就是不要总想着单单用一个词替换一个词（replace）保持别的都不变，而是想想可不可以用几个词，或者一个小短语，甚或一个小句子去替换几个词，一个小短语，或者一个小句子（rephrase），把它整体的表达换掉但保持基本意思不变。你换词的目的是解释你具体想表达的意思，而不是单纯的为了不重复 - 这样就算你换错了词，你的意思至少不会模糊掉。

顺便再说，我一直强调英文要注意积累的是表达方式，而不是单词，比如你要积累的是‘如果我要表达很开心的意思，我可以怎么说’，而不是单纯的‘喜悦用英文该怎么说’。这样你以后说起来，换起来，都容易，是吧。以上。希望能够帮到你 :)