作文本 by arlenezxy

arlenezxyUID: 2487145

1.30Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money on improving public transportation than on improving accessing internet.

With the informational progress of the society, almost every aspect of people's life is penetrated by internet, so the internet access system, transportation in the virtual world, is becoming as important as the public one in reality. Thus, a delicate question corners the government, how to put the construction emphasis when it comes to the money to invest. From my point of view, the government should weigh public transportation and internet access equally, when consider the financial budget, and my point will be explicitly illustrated as follows.

  To begin with, I want to point out that nowadays public transportation and internet access are playing the same role as transportation tool in people’s life. The only difference is the former exists in the real world and the latter is in the virtual one. For example, in the international commercial trade area, which is featured by people doing business from different countries and regions, time and space are two important factors. So businessmen from different corners of the world will exchange information of their products through the internet system while transfer their goods by the international public transportation.

  Secondly, both "transportation” tools, internet access and public transportation are important in people's daily life. People's rely on internet is increasing in every facet of their life, from official affairs, commercial trade, school life, to people's daily connection. Internet can match the public transportation by wide range it covers and the important role it plays. So governments should put the construction of public transportation and internet access on the two sides of a balance, although sometime one side may be lower or higher in a short while with the little swing of the balance.

  As all reasons I mentioned above, I oppose the exclusively conclusion that governments should spend more money on improving public transportation than on improving accessing internet.

eddie23508okUID: 2281260

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money on improving public transportation than on improving accessing internet.

With the informational progress of the society, almost every aspect of people's life is penetrated by internet, so the internet access system, transportation in the virtual world, is becoming as important as the public one in reality. (为何没有陈述现实交通的优点呢？不妨这句写段一点，然后再写一下现实交通的好处，但不可否认的是这句句式还是不错的) Thus, a delicate question corners (为什么把政府逼得走投无路呢？) the government, how to put the construction emphasis when it comes to the money to invest. From my point of view, the government should weigh public transportation and internet access equally, when consider the financial budget, and my point will be explicitly illustrated as follows. (不错的开头)

To begin with, I want to point out that nowadays public transportation and internet access are playing the same (感觉用same太过绝对，不妨用similar试试) role as transportation tool in people’s life. The only difference is the former exists in the real world and the latter is (does) in the virtual one. For example, in the international commercial trade area, which is featured by people doing business from different countries and regions, time and space are two important factors. So businessmen from different corners of the world will exchange information of their products through the internet system while transfer their goods by the international public transportation.

Secondly, both "transportation” tools, internet access and public transportation are important in people's daily life. People's rely (dependence) on internet is increasing in every facet of their life, from official affairs, commercial trade, school life, to people's daily connection. Internet can match the public transportation by wide range it covers and the important role it plays (这句在文章中出现得有点多，不妨换一换表达方式). So governments should put the construction of public transportation and internet access on the two sides of a balance, although sometime one side may be lower or higher in a short while with the little swing of the balance. (从这段论述中看不出为何政府应该在网络和交通上花同样的钱)

As all reasons I mentioned above, I oppose the exclusively conclusion that governments should spend more money on improving public transportation than on improving accessing internet.（直接点名第一段的主题好点，这样表达别人还得回过头去看你的第一段，因为这样写的话别人得到两个结论：1.政府应该在网络上多花钱，而不是公共交通；2.政府应该在两者上花同样多的钱。所以还是建议直接一点好。）

文章的闪光点是文章的语言，句式变化多，乐感很强，还有LZ的词汇很丰富，而且对词汇的应用和理解很到位。
文中不足的地方是陈述的方式以及逻辑不够清晰，而且展开度不是很够，感觉来来去去好像都是在说那一两点，即使中间陈述的两段分开写，可是还是感觉LZ是用不同的语言在重复同样的内容，另外例子方面比较缺乏，没有看到比较convincing的例子。 加油！！

arlenezxyUID: 2487145

1.31Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The environmental issue is too complex to be handled by the individual.

    As the global climate tending to be more changeable and fossil energy on the earth diminishing increasingly, people begin to put the environmental issue at a very important position to be discussed, however, two different voices raised upon this issue. One group hold a opinion that environmental issue can be handled by the individual, while the other claim that it's a too complex  problem to be handled by the individual. For my part, I agree with the latter with reasons illustrated as follows.

   Firstly, dating back into the history, the environmental problem has quite a long existence with complex causes that could never only be blamed on a single individual. Almost every people owe the environment since the moment we come into the world. We eat from the nature, drink from the nature, and even throw our waste back to the nature. It's not the right way for grownup feedback to the mother but it really happened, just like the rebelling children broke the Mum’s heart with unawareness. The severe environmental problem has been accumulated day by day and people by people, and then it could come into such a stiff situation that too complex to be handled by the individual.


   Secondly, looking forward into the future, it would be definitely a benevolent for not only a single person as long as the environmental problem being well settled. It should be a joy for one to imagine a picture of our children playing under a sharp blue sky, breathing clean air, eating fresh food and being immersed in an unpolluted world fully, healthily and happily. Since it will be a beneficial for all human beings, it should be taken on by the whole.

   To sum up, as all the reasons that I mentioned above, there are three fundamental characteristics of the environmental issue, world-wide spread, historically reasoned, future development concerned. Thus, only being overwhelmed by the awareness of taking a whole, we human can fight together for a victory upon the environmental problem.

carriexuUID: 2559756

首先先表示下歉意，我没看清题目要求，所以写的不是这个话题实在不好意思。
As the global climate tending to be more changeable and fossil energy on the earth diminishing increasingly（不太清楚你这里的as是不是译成“因为”如果是的话语气是不是有点弱，还有as后是不是应该是句子）， people begin to put the environmental issue at a very important position to be discussed, however, two different voices raised upon this issue. One group hold a opinion that environmental issue can be handled by the individual（如果用while这里应该没有逗号）, while the other claim that it's a too complex  problem to be handled by the individual. For my part, I agree with the latter with reasons illustrated as follows.
   Firstly, dating back into the history, the environmental problem has quite a long existence with complex causes that could never only be blamed on a single individual. Almost every people owe （不知道把own改成benefit from能不能表达你的意思） the environment since the moment we come into the world. We eat from the nature, drink from the nature, and even throw our waste back to the nature.（我感觉你想表达并列句式工整，但是eat from the nature，drink from the nature，感觉好像不太通顺，改成We gain various resources from the nature,such as food,water,and wood .We should be thankful to the help of the nature.However,we do a lot of harm to the nature,such as cutting down forests,polluting rivers and polluting air） It's not the right way for grownup feedback(grownup有单复数， feedback是名词；grownup也可以是形容词，但感觉这样也不多改成这样你看看It's not the right way for grownup to return to the mother.其实简洁点的话改成It’s definitely wrong for grownup to reture the the mother.应该也行吧)  to the mother but it really happened, just like the rebelling children broke the Mum’s heart with unawareness（叛逆的孩子一般都是有意识的让人伤心吧，并且我理解人类破坏环境并不是不知道后果的呀，感觉这个比喻不是很恰当，不过要是考试应该也不会想那么深吧）. The severe environmental problem has been accumulated day by day and people by people, and then it could come into such a stiff situation that too complex to be handled by the individual.
   Secondly, looking forward into the future（looking没有逻辑主语）, it would be definitely a benevolent（我查了下这个是形容词，a benevolent应该是不对的，并且我没理解你这句话，not only…but also没有平行呀） for not only a single person as long as the environmental problem being well settled. It should be a joy for one to imagine a picture of our children playing under a sharp blue sky, breathing clean air, eating fresh food and being immersed in an unpolluted world fully, healthily and happily. Since it will be a beneficial for all human beings, it should be taken on by the whole.（总体上感觉这段都是空话，和主题也没多大意义）  
   To sum up, as all the reasons that I mentioned above, there are three fundamental characteristics of the environmental issue, world-wide spread, historically reasoned, future development concerned. Thus, only being overwhelmed by the awareness of taking a whole, we human can fight together for a victory upon the environmental problem.（我不知道最后一句是自己写的还是在哪背的，我查了下be overwhelmed是招架不住，忙于做的意思，所以我没明白前半句是什么意思，改成这样不知道服不符合你的意思Only by taking the environmental problem as a whole into account，can we fight together for a victory upon this serious issuse.）

整体上感觉这篇文章没什么例子，估计是选的这个角度比较难写，毕竟不追究到个体那就要看整体，整体如何做事不太好写，就是有例子，也很少有那个词汇。所以我感觉你要是采取中立的角度是不是会比较好。We shouldn’t blame on a single individual,but every person is responsible for making efforts to protect and improve the environment.这样第二段会比较好写吧，编个例子呗。Take my own experience as example.For example或者是according to a recent survey。比如说城市有那种无车日，建议不开私家车，多使用公共交通工具，大家如果都积极做的话，对降低global warming 肯定有好处。你把例子写细点字数肯定也够。

carriexuUID: 2559756

这个看着清晰点
Because of the global climate tending to be more changeable and fossil energy on the earth diminishing increasingly， people begin to put the environmental issue at a very important position to be discussed, however, two different voices raised upon this issue. One group hold a opinion that environmental issue can be handled by the individual while the other claim that it's a too complex  problem to be handled by the individual. For my part, I agree with the latter with the following reasons.  
   Firstly, dating back into the history, the environmental problem has quite a long existence with complex causes that could never only be blamed on a single individual. Almost every person benefit from the environment since the moment we come into the world. We gain various resources from the nature,such as food,water,wood and so on.We should be thankful to the help of the nature.However,we do a lot of harm to the nature,such as cutting down forests,polluting rivers and so on. It's not the right way for grownup to return to the mother  but it really happened, just like the rebelling children broke the Mum’s heart with unawareness. The severe environmental problem has been accumulated day by day and people by people, and then it could come into such a stiff situation that too complex to be handled by the individual.
   Secondly, looking forward into the future（looking没有逻辑主语）, it would be definitely a benevolent（我查了下这个是形容词，a benevolent应该是不对的，并且我没理解你这句话，not only…but also没有平行呀） for not only a single person as long as the environmental problem being well settled. It should be a joy for one to imagine a picture of our children playing under a sharp blue sky, breathing clean air, eating fresh food and being immersed in an unpolluted world fully, healthily and happily. Since it will be a beneficial for all human beings, it should be taken on by the whole.（总体上感觉这段都是空话，和主题也没多大意义）  
   To sum up, as all the reasons that I mentioned above, there are three fundamental characteristics of the environmental issue, world-wide spread, historically reasoned, future development concerned. Thus, only by taking the environmental problem as a whole into account，can we fight together for a victory upon this serious issuse.

eddie23508okUID: 2281260

1.31Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The environmental issue is too complex to be handled by the individual.

As the global climate tending (tends,这是一个从句为什么要弄成分词结构呢？) to be more changeable and fossil energy on the earth diminishing (diminishes,同理) increasingly, people begin to put the environmental issue at a very important position to be discussed, however, two different voices raised upon this issue (这句不错). One group hold (holds) a (an) opinion that environmental issue can be handled by the individual, while the other claim (claims) that it's a too complex  problem to be handled by the individual. For my part, I agree with the latter with reasons illustrated as follows.

Firstly, dating back into the history, the environmental problem has quite a long existence with complex causes that could never only be blamed on a single individual. Almost every people owe (owes) the environment since the moment we come into the world. We eat from the nature, drink from the nature, and even throw our waste back to the nature (此句句式难免会让人感觉有点重复，可以稍微改写一下). It's not the right way for grownup (to) feedback (feedback是名词，意思是反馈信息，而不是回报，reward或repay是否会更合适一些？) to the mother but it really happened (did happen), just like the rebelling children broke the Mum’s heart with unawareness (without purpose). The severe environmental problem has been accumulated day by day and people by people, and then it could come into such a stiff situation that too complex to be handled by the individual.

Secondly, looking forward into the future, it would be definitely a benevolent (仁慈的？用在这里是什么意思？) for not only a single person as long as the environmental problem being well settled.(too twisted, I could not follow you) It should be a joy for one to imagine a picture of our children playing under a sharp blue sky, breathing clean air, eating fresh food and being immersed in an unpolluted world fully, healthily and happily. Since it will be a beneficial (为什么喜欢用形容词当名词用呢？虽然有这种用法，但是感觉还是不是很恰当这里) for all human beings, it should be taken on by the whole. (I think this paragragh is disfunctional, I can not see it works in illustrating your point of view. Perhaps changing your orientation of statement would be better.)

To sum up, as all the reasons that I mentioned above, there are three fundamental characteristics of the environmental issue, world-wide spread, historically reasoned, future development concerned. Thus, only being overwhelmed by the awareness of taking a whole, we human can fight together for a victory upon the environmental problem.

开头和结尾都不错，开头点名主题，结尾回应开头。问题是：一，语法感觉不是很恰当，二，有些词的意思掌握不是很到位，三，第三段的陈述看不出意图，四，有时候句子太绕，虽然托福考的是对语言的应用，但是作为语言，英语有自己一定的语序和逻辑，如果违反这些逻辑和语序，我想作为native speaker也是很难接受的！

Anyway, good job!

arlenezxyUID: 2487145

Do the movies and television have more negative effect than positive effect on the young people?

With the popularization of television and movie, two of the greatest inventions of 20th century, there is a heat debate about their influence on children's development. Someone claim that televisions and movies have more negative effect than positive one on young people, while the opponents hold that they have more positive influences on the young generation. For my part, both of the views are grounded from their own perspective because televisions and movies are good forms of media to spread knowledge and information, but the content they transport are complex and comprehensive, I would like to put my point more specific as follows.

From the pessimistic point of view, although televisions and movies can popularize common knowledge and mass culture, harmful contents as drugs, violence and pornography are also easily to be advocated by them, corroding the young mind. A lately survey made by a group of psychologists reported that the young people who approach to TV and movies more frequently have a higher rate of committing crimes than those have less approach to them. What's more, the opponents of TV and movie hold another research result which shows TV and movie can easily make the young people indulgence and have no resistance to the detrimental contents, because audience are usually passive receivers.

    On the other hand, TV and movie supporters claim that, despite there may have possibility of TV and movies to impart the young generation with negative influence, the positive influences are superior. They are the best media ever being invented with three important elements of sound, animation, character, which make them excellent at spreading either knowledge or information. All the problems raised by the opponents are about how we put and classify the content on TV and movies, but not about the mediums themselves.

    To sum up, as everything in the world has two sides, the right attitude toward the TV and movie is to take good advantage of them, meanwhile diminish their negative influence on the young people to the minimum. As my suggest, people who waste time to drag young people away from TV or movies should rather put their efforts on improving the quality of TV programs and movies that suitable for young people, establishing a control system of content for young people and helping them to plan their time for TV and movie.

黑莲祭_UID: 2715943

With the popularization（这个词意思对，但是感觉用起来很怪） of television and movie, two of the greatest inventions of 20th century, there is a heat debate about their influence on children's development. Someone claim that televisions and movies have more negative effect than positive one on young people, while the opponents这个词不好 hold that they have more positive influences on the young generation. For my part, both of the views are grounded from their own perspective because televisions and movies are good forms of media to spread knowledge and information, but the content they transport用convey好 are complex and comprehensive, I would like to put my point more specific as follows.
1 j; X; j9 h! k0 }3 j1 R0 D: v1 b6 D# A" j4 D
From the pessimistic point of view, although televisions and movies can popularize common knowledge and mass culture, harmful contents as drugs, violence and pornography are also easily to be advocated by them, corroding the young mind. A lately survey made by a group of psychologists reported that the young people who approach to TV and movies more frequently have a higher rate应该为chance of committing crimes than those have less approach to them. What's more, the opponents of TV and movie hold another research result which shows TV and movie can easily make the young people indulgence and have no resistance to the detrimental contents, because audience are usually passive receivers. 最后一句很好
2 |4 H2 s# v3 a% v% B* `- a0 |) D# q" [
    On the other hand, TV and movie supporters claim that, despite there may have possibility of TV and movies to impart the young generation with negative influence, the positive influences are superior. They are the best media ever being invented with three important elements of sound, animation, andcharacter, which make them excellent at spreading either knowledge or information. All the problems raised by the opponents are about how we put and classify the content on TV and movies, but not about the mediums themselves.% l: Q, z+ g& u0 f' Z- h
9 p7 M8 H+ x. c
    To sum up, as everything in the world has two sides,这个插入语太中文化了 the right attitude towards the TV and movie is to take good advantage of them, meanwhile diminish their negative influence on the young people to the minimum. 这句很好As my suggest, people who waste time to drag young people away from TV or movies should rather put their efforts on improving the quality of TV programs and movies that suitable for young people, establishing a control system of content for young people and helping them to plan their time for TV and movie.结尾很出色

arlenezxyUID: 2487145

超时,写得有点长了.总是很罗嗦,大家狠命拍
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is being in a group led by a tourist guide

As an entertainment, travel is a good choice for people to have some relax and also enhance their knowledge as well. However, when it comes to the style of taking a trip, people have their different ways as someone like being in a group led by a tourist guide while someone would rather travel alone with their package. From my perspective, there is no so called "best" way to travel as an fixed rule, but people can choose their "best" way depending on different situations, such as mood, money, age, hobby, and whatever.

To begin with, I want to emphasize that travel is really a personal interest based entertainment, however, joining in a group and having someone guide you would be helpful to ease your own job, such as booking a reservation for a hotel, searching for the most time-consuming way of trip, making a list for "places need to be". Also, people who don't have much time for a trip could have a tourist guide to give an general explanation of the famous sight spot as well as some folk tales from the local. Based on my personal experience, the tourist guide are always talkative and full of stories and jokes, which may add joy for a travel.

On the other hand, independent travel would be a best choice for people who enjoy the course of pre-travel preparation, including the travel map making, background information collecting, and the travel tool choosing, which would also be seemed as an enjoyment since people can learn a lot as well as enhancing their abilities of independent. Usually, people choose to travel independently have the spirit of discovering and adventure, they would rather to pick the travel route that seldom selected by other people where surprise always emerges as a gift for them. what's more, there also a group of people who like such kind of independent travel and well experienced in it, and among those people same interest attract them digging more from the travel usually a travel book or diary would appear as a result. The famous travel book series "lonely planet" would be a typical.

As all that I have mentioned, the best way of travel do exist, but it will be varied by different situations, just like a famous commercial ad said, there must be a BEST suits for you. Actually, this commercial is about a series of hair shampoo that with the target to different consumers. So for people who want a comfortable travel, being in a group led by a tourist guide would be a best, while people who join a travel to seek adventure and something different from other travelers, travel alone would be best.

mangohahaUID: 2758178

^_^

4 I3 R, \6 k' D( O" }( |5 J
As an entertainment, travel is a good choice for people to have some relax and also enhance their knowledge as well. However, when it comes to the style of taking a trip, people have their different ways as someone like being in a group led by a tourist guide while someone would rather travel alone with their package. From my perspective, there is no so called "best" way to travel as an fixed rule, but people can choose their "best" way depending on different situations, such as mood, money, age, hobby, and whatever.
（首段字数过多，建议开门见山，把想要说的表达清楚就够了，不然也浪费考试时间不是^_^）
To begin with, I want to emphasize that travel is really a personal interest based entertainment, however, joining in a group and having someone guide you would be helpful to ease your own job, such as booking a reservation for a hotel, searching for the most time-consuming way of trip, making a list for "places need to be"（less information about why there would be these conveniences, just because of joining in a group? ）. Also, people who don't have much time for a trip could have a tourist guide to give an general explanation of the famous sight spot as well as some folk tales from the local. Based on my personal experience, the tourist guide are always talkative and full of stories and jokes, which may add joy for a travel.

On the other hand, independent travel would be a best choice for people who enjoy the course of pre-travel preparation, including the travel map making, background information collecting, and the travel tool choosing, which would also be seemed as an enjoyment since people can learn a lot as well as enhancing their abilities of independent. Usually, people choose to travel independently have the spirit of discovering and adventure, they would rather to pick the travel route that seldom selected by other people where surprise always emerges as a gift for them. what's more, there also a group of people who like such kind of independent travel and well experienced in it, and among those people same interest attract them digging more from the travel usually a travel book or diary would appear as a result. The famous travel book series "lonely planet" would be a typical (例子很好，不过阐述的方式有待改进，感觉上不能很好的正面本段论点：pre-travel is the best choice for people enjoy the course of preparation.).
- F9 p) S- I0 a1 V& m
As all that I have mentioned, the best way of travel do exist, but it will be varied by different situations, just like a famous commercial ad said, there must be a BEST suits for you. Actually, this commercial is about a series of hair shampoo that with the target to different consumers. So for people who want a comfortable travel, being in a group led by a tourist guide would be a best, while people who join a travel to seek adventure and something different from other travelers, travel alone would be best.

(首先，因为之前并没有接触过T的作文，对于作文的要求也不能很好的把握，不过记得一个前辈和我说过T的作文最好要有倾向性，因为题目问的是你更喜欢哪一个。。。。
其次， 如果这种结构是可以的，小的问题变是段内的逻辑关系，如果有些句子的表述方式改变，尤其是例子就能更有力的支撑论点，不然再好的例子如果不能有效的和本段的主题联系起来就会是证明的效果大打折扣
建议，best 不要在一二段出现了，最好换一个词程度相对请些的感觉更安全
对于语言方面，感觉不愧是考T的人，用词，尤其是句子很剽悍，也许是自己外行同时能力有限，不过不建议把句子写的那么长，反而影响意思的表达尤其是一个段落的首句，毕竟是主题句，是要让读者知道你要表达的东西，On the other hand, independent travel would be a best choice for people who enjoy the course of pre-travel preparation, including the travel map making, background information collecting, and the travel tool choosing, which would also be seemed as an enjoyment since people can learn a lot as well as enhancing their abilities of independent.)
能力有限，个人愚见^_^如有不对的地方请见谅，也希望不吝赐教 fighting ！！！

arlenezxyUID: 2487145

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology makes people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated.

   As people always believe that the ultimate goal of human's life is to make everything simpler and easier to live, which can also be justified again and again upon the history of human development, I agree with that technology, fruit of human intelligence, is rather to make people's lives simpler than more complicated. I would illustrate my reasons as follows. .

  To begin with, I want to emphasize the importance of technology in my life, which makes me easier to work and study. Typically, I am a kind of person lazy enough to do some logistics, such as cooking, laundry and anything else need my extra effort to deal with. So, I render all these problems to the technology, that is the washing machine do the laundry and microwave joins the oven together to help me cook. That's how my life is, and if it is possible I couldn't wait for one day that the technology and machine could do everything for me if I wish.

   What's more, technology frees labors from the heavy physical work and amplifies people's life with more possibilities. Someone may argue that people who enjoy the life with technology may live a simpler life, but people who make it happen, such as engineers and technicians, would live a life of complicatedly exploiting those machines. Actually, that's totally unnecessary worry. Since technology makes life easier and simpler, people will have more time to do work that can create possibilities in human's life, which has huge difference to those work that people have to do for survive. Thus, people who do the complicated work intelligently can also live a simple life since they choose their work for interest rather than they have to.

   As I have mentioned above, technology release the labor force out of from heavy physical work and make people's life easier and simpler without the bothering of starve or other basic problems to survive, meanwhile, people can engage themselves creating various possibilities of their life as well as to make all human's life much simpler, such as creating something like robots.

eddie23508okUID: 2281260

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology makes people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated.

As people always believe that the ultimate goal of human's life is to make everything simpler and easier to live, which can also be justified again and again upon the history of human development, I agree with that technology, fruit of human intelligence, is rather to make people's lives simpler than more complicated. I would illustrate my reasons as follows. (不错的开头，句式新颖)

To begin with, I want to emphasize the importance of technology in my life, which makes me easier to work and study (这里不应该用非限定性定语从句，因为修饰的是technology). Typically, I am a kind of person lazy enough to do some logistics (I'm a "lazy" person who is unwilling to spend too much time on chores), such as cooking, laundry and anything else need (requiring) my extra effort to deal with. So, I render all these problems to the technology, that is the washing machine do the laundry and microwave joins (joining) the oven together to help (helps) me cook. That's how my life is, and if it is possible I couldn't wait for one day that (when) the technology and machine could do everything for me if I wish.

What's more, technology frees labors from the heavy physical work and amplifies people's life with more possibilities. Someone may argue that people who enjoy the life with technology may live a simpler life, but people who make it happen, such as engineers and technicians, would live a life of complicatedly exploiting those machines. Actually, that's totally unnecessary worry. Since technology makes life easier and simpler, people will have more time to do work that can create possibilities in human's life, which has huge difference to those work that people have to do for survive (太长，而且意思不是很明确). Thus, people who do the complicated work intelligently can also live a simple life since they choose their work for interest rather than they have to. (not crystal about the pith of this paragragh, coz of too many scatterring statements)

As I have mentioned above, technology release the labor force out of from heavy physical work and make people's life easier and simpler without the bothering of starve or other basic problems to survive, meanwhile, people can engage themselves creating various possibilities of their life as well as to make all human's life much simpler, such as creating something like robots.

句子词汇都很不错，但是有时候不免产生一些稍微多余的信息，另外感觉文章第三段意思不明确，没有起到说明中心思想的作用！加油！

miggerUID: 2276392

As people always believe that the ultimate goal of human's life is to make everything simpler and easier to live,（simpler and easier 重复？） which can also be (has been) justified again and again upon (by) the history of human development, I agree with that technology, the fruit of human intelligence development, is rather to make people's lives simpler than more complicated (句义不明白). I would illustrate my reasons as follows. .2 F! z8 t% b: r! v. H- h
" M& G7 o' x9 U9 X. _; H
  To begin with, I want to emphasize the importance of technology in my life, which makes me easier to work and study. Typically, I am a kind of person lazy enough to do some logistics, such as cooking, laundry and anything else (加定语从句，needing)need my extra effort to deal with. So, I render all these problems (Problems 也许并不合适？) to the technology, that is the washing machine do the laundry and microwave joins the oven together to help me cook. That's how my life is, and if it is possible I couldn't wait for one day that the technology and machine could do everything for me if I wish. （两个if 假设语气，重复， if I wish 可以删去）
$ c& J/ H  s* P* @1 a  }
   What's more, technology frees labors from the heavy physical work（这是上一段的内容，放在上一段首句可能更合适，并不构成递进关系） and amplifies（这个词不合适，也许用supply, provide等词更合适） people's life with more possibilities. Someone may argue that people who enjoy the life with technology may live a simpler life, but people who make it happen, such as engineers and technicians, would live a life of complicatedly exploiting those machines. Actually, that's totally unnecessary worry. Since technology makes life easier and simpler, people will have more time to do work that can create possibilities in human's life, which has huge difference to those work that people have to do for survive.（huge difference from 吧，而且这次好复杂，create possibilities是一个很模糊的词，后面可以直接接上所做的事） Thus, people who do the complicated work intelligently can also live a simple life since they choose their work for interest rather than they have to. （这一段最大的问题是逻辑不连贯，技术工作者可以做很多更有意义更有创造性的事情，但是并不代表这是他们的兴趣所在，也并不表示技术并没有使得他们的生活复杂，）

   As I have mentioned above, technology release the labor force out of from（from删去） heavy physical work and make people's life easier and simpler without the（删去） bothering of starve or other basic problems to survive （这句什么意思，简单的生活跟starve有什么关系哩 ）, meanwhile, people can engage（被动句式应该更好一点，be engaged in） themselves creating various possibilities of their life as well as to make all human's life much simpler, such as creating something like robots.

总评：先举自己的例子，说明技术的importance and necessity. 但是后面论述 not complicated时似乎时有些不明所以，complicated 的含义在这应该是技术层面解，技术工作者不觉得complicate，是兴趣，所以生活不会是complicate.立论似乎牵强了点呵。

第一次改别人作文，不当之处，见谅啦。。