ARGUMENT238 重写 狠拍

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238.The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Mira Vista College to the college's board of trustees.

"At nearby Green Mountain College, which has more business courses and more job counselors than does Mira Vista College, 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors had job offers from prospective employers. But at Mira Vista College last year, only 70 percent of the seniors who informed the placement office that they would be seeking employment had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation, and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study. To help Mira Vista's graduates find employment, we must offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors to help students with their resumés and interviewing skills."

syllabus:
1.两个学校的具体就业数据的比较不详细，不能认为GM一定比MV好。
2.即使GMC的经验能用，也和商务课程和职业顾问没有必然的联系。
3.没有全面考虑影响就业率的因素，从雇主，毕业生和学校三个角度举例。

WORDS: 482

The president makes a hasty conclusion about how to help improve Mira Vista's graduates' employment merely basing on a rough analogy between Green Mountain College(GM) and Mira Vista College(MV), and without thoroughly considering the influencing factors.

The president fails to prove GM's employment status is better than MV's by ignoring detailed data comparison. Since the president has already showed several data---70 percent, three month, only half---about MV's employment status from different aspects, one can easily tell more data about GM’s, besides 90 percent, are needed to fulfill comparison. With regard to the only comparison of both colleges’ total employment status,
the 20-percent difference still does not necessarily mean the employment suitable for the seniors' major fields of study and the full-time-job rate of GM are also higher. Even the data of MV are collected within three months after graduation; while that of GM are probably collected one year after graduation, the president also missing this. Clear data comparison between the two colleges will help understand if GM performs better than MV on employment status, thereby decide if GM is a worthy example.

Even GM actually performs better than MV, its root causes are not necessarily offering more business and computer courses and hiring additional job counselors are. No ratios are shown of teachers to students in these classes and job counselors to seniors of the two colleges. GM's courses may be more than MV’s because it has even much more students. Or maybe all MV seniors have taken these classes as minors, but they show bad competence of both courses as the teachers do not take them serious enough. Besides, job counselors may mainly be asked to guide seniors about what kinds of jobs are suitable, by ignoring their abilities with improving resumes and interviewing skills; and they have spare time. More efficiently, some lectures held by current job counselors about these abilities should meet the requirements, not additional hands.

Influencing factors of employment vary with aspects. Some specialized skills like business and computer skills do not supplement the whole employing process. To the employers' perspective, majors and competence are most important. Hence, what matters is whether GM's graduates major more in hot fields, or whether GM's students were more competent when they went into college or after college education? To seniors' perspective, salary and working place contribute a lot to the acceptation of job offers. Thus, it is important if GM's students take psychological classes to keep better tolerance with salaries or working places with rationality. To the colleges' perspective during employing period, the questions like “does GM arrange better employment meetings to allure more employers?”, and “have GM's seniors more accesses to the employing information?” weigh much

The good will of improving employment can only be fulfilled if the president of MV examines the experience of GM carefully and takes all aspects of employing process in to mind.