argument48 meiyue

jessicamarineUID: 2595044

48.The following appeared in a newspaper article published in the country
of Corpora.

"Twenty years ago, one half of all citizens in Corpora met the standards
for adequate physical fitness as then defined by the national advisory
board on physical fitness. Today, the board says that only one quarter of
all citizens are adequately fit and suggests that spending too much time
using computers may be the reason. But since overall fitness levels are
highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also
highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less
physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low
expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does."
Facing the serious health condition in Corpora, the author firstly ruled out the long time computer use as the cause, and further predicted that when the economy increase people would purchase more fitness-related products and services, which would finally contribute to the improvement of people’s fitness levels. Though somewhat reasonable at the first glance, the argument suffers from several logical problems as below.

In ruling out the long time use of computer as the cause, the arguer actually confused the long time use of computer with the high computer ownership. High computer ownership does not necessarily mean long time computer use. Maybe, in the highest computer ownership area, most people use computer often but not long, while, in the lower computer ownership areas, most computer owners do jobs related with computer, such as stocking, programming, and they have to use computer for long time. Without ruling out this possibility the author cannot simply excluded the long computer use as the main cause for low fitness. If the author further analyses the computer use time with the fitness condition, the reasoning would be more convincing.

From the argument, we could easily see that the author attribute good fitness condition to the use of fitness-related products and services. However, it is absolutely not the case. Though the fitness-related products could more or less contribute to good fitness, but it will never be the main reason. As we all know people’s fitness levels on a large degree result from people’s habits, whether they exercise a lot, whether they sleep enough, whether their eating habits are healthy, whether they always keep good emotions. People who spend little on fitness-related products or services but keep healthy habits would undoubtedly enjoy better fitness than one who emphasis too much on fitness-related products but ignore those good healthy living habits. Therefore, the arguer’s assertion is on a certain degree misleading.
Moreover, no sound evidences proved that it was the economy decline that led to the unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services. If as the author assumes the fitness-related products have significantly contribute to one’s good fitness, even if the economy decline it would not drive people sacrifice their fitness, that is even if the expenditure on fitness-related products and services dropped cause people were less affordable, at least it would not drop to the “ unusually low “ situation. So, the unusually low expenditure on fitness-related products and services has actually strengthened the possibility that people recognized that the fitness-related products and services was not that effective, and finally spent less on those. If this is the case, the arguer is actually reasoning against the fact.

In a word, the arguer’s assertion is invalid and it may induce people invest too much on fitness-related products and services but overlook the most important-keeping healthy habits.

AdelineShenUID: 2630498

"Twenty years ago, one half of all citizens in Corpora met the standards
for adequate physical fitness as then defined by the national advisory
board on physical fitness. Today, the board says that only one quarter of
all citizens are adequately fit and suggests that spending too much time
using computers may be the reason. But since overall fitness levels are
highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also
highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less
physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low
expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does."


Facing the serious health condition in Corpora, the author firstly ruled out the long time computer use as the cause, and further predicted that when the economy increase people would purchase more fitness-related products and services, which would finally contribute to the improvement of people’s fitness levels. Though somewhat reasonable at the first glance, the argument suffers from several logical problems as below.
开头对argument总结得不错，不过时态用一般现在时就可以了。

In ruling out the long time use of computer as the cause, the arguer actually confused the long time use of computer with the high computer ownership. High computer ownership does not necessarily mean long time computer use. Maybe, in the highest computer ownership area, most people use computer often but not long, while, in the lower computer ownership areas, most computer owners do jobs related with computer, such as stocking, programming, and they have to use computer for long time. Without ruling out this possibility the author cannot simply excluded the long computer use as the main cause for low fitness. If the author further analyses the computer use time with the fitness condition, the reasoning would be more convincing.

论证清晰，也举了比较合适的例子，不错~


From the argument, we could easily see that the author attribute good fitness condition to the use of fitness-related products and services. However, it is absolutely not the case. Though the fitness-related products could more or less contribute to good fitness, but it will never be the main reason. As we all know people’s fitness levels on a large degree result from people’s habits, whether they exercise a lot, whether they sleep enough, whether their eating habits are healthy, whether they always keep good emotions. People who spend little on fitness-related products or services but keep healthy habits would undoubtedly enjoy better fitness than one who emphasis too much on fitness-related products but ignore those good healthy living habits. Therefore, the arguer’s assertion is on a certain degree misleading.

这一段论证不错，开头最好再加一句跟前面一段连贯起来的句子或者词组。

Moreover, no sound evidences proved that it was the economy decline that led to the unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services. If as the author assumes the fitness-related products have significantly contribute to one’s good fitness, even if the economy decline it would not drive people sacrifice their fitness, that is even if the expenditure on fitness-related products and services dropped cause people were less affordable, at least it would not drop to the “ unusually low “ situation. So, the unusually low expenditure on fitness-related products and services has actually strengthened the possibility that people recognized that the fitness-related products and services was not that effective, and finally spent less on those. If this is the case, the arguer is actually reasoning against the fact.

你跟我的论证思路几乎完全一样，握手。各段之间衔接再注意一点，整体还是很不错的~


In a word, the arguer’s assertion is invalid and it may induce people invest too much on fitness-related products and services but overlook the most important-keeping healthy habits.

AdelineShenUID: 2630498

argument的逻辑：

20年前有一半C的市民的健康状况达到了国家标准，现在只有1/4达到了→原因可能是使过多使用电脑

BUT

C市电脑普及率最高的地区人们的健康状况反而最好→过多使用电脑不是健康状况下降的原因

反驳：电脑普及率=高不代表使用时间长。

近几年fitness-related products的花费减少→没有使用fitness-related products是健康状况下降的主要原因

反驳：没有使用这种products不一定是健康状况下降的主要原因。这种products不一定能对健康有帮助，如果人们使用了这些产品而没有良好的生活习惯仍然会导致健康状况下降，不使用这些产品仍然可以有好的健康状况。

经济危机是导致上述products花费减少的主要原因→如果经济复苏则products花费上升则健康状况好转

反驳：经济危机不一定是导致这种产品花费减少的主要原因，可能是因为人们觉得这种产品效果不明显所以不想买了，所以就算经济复苏人们也不会把钱花在这上面。

jessicamarineUID: 2595044

3# AdelineShen

OH,MY!太感谢你的鼓励了！每次都被批得很惨信心已经接近谷底，您的话让我看到光明了，呵呵，谢谢，谢谢^@^

nikeson2007UID: 2757060

我是刚开始正式准备作文没多久，只是提出一点浅薄的建议。不要见笑。
48.The following appeared in a newspaper article published in the country
of Corpora.

"Twenty years ago, one half of all citizens in Corpora met the standards
for adequate physical fitness as then defined by the national advisory
board on physical fitness. Today, the board says that only one quarter of
all citizens are adequately fit and suggests that spending too much time
using computers may be the reason. But since overall fitness levels are
highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also
highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less
physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low
expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does."
Facing the serious health condition in Corpora, the author firstly ruled out the long time computer use as the cause, and further predicted that when the economy increase people would purchase more fitness-related products and services, which would finally contribute to the improvement of people’s fitness levels. Though somewhat reasonable at the first glance, the argument suffers from several logical problems as below.
前面有人说过，时态用一般现在是应该就可以。还有经济增长后健康状况变好好像是原题推论中的后半部分，我觉得在前面不应该展开，要首先攻击前半句，后半句
不攻自破。还有那个several，我上新东方课时老师说最好列出几点。
In ruling out the long time use of computer as the cause, the arguer actually confused the long time use of computer with the high computer ownership. High computer ownership does not necessarily mean long time computer use. Maybe, in the highest computer ownership area, most people use computer often but not long, while, in the lower computer ownership areas, most computer owners do jobs related with computer, such as stocking, programming, and they have to use computer for long time. Without ruling out this possibility the author cannot simply excluded the long computer use as the main cause for low fitness. If the author further analyses the computer use time with the fitness condition, the reasoning would be more convincing.
这个思路我觉得很好，其实题目有两步，先是否定电脑的作用，然后说是经济的作用。你分这两方面来攻，我没看你文章的时候，一直想着一个个错误的攻。

From the argument, we could easily see that the author attribute good fitness condition to the use of fitness-related products and services. However, it is absolutely not the case. （句子短会影响文章的平均句长)Though the fitness-related products could more or less contribute to good fitness, but it will never be the main reason. As we all know people’s fitness levels on a large degree result from people’s habits, whether they exercise a lot, whether they sleep enough, whether their eating habits are healthy, whether they always keep good emotions. People who spend little on fitness-related products or services but keep healthy habits would undoubtedly enjoy better fitness than one who emphasis too much on fitness-related products but ignore those good healthy living habits. Therefore, the arguer’s assertion is on a certain degree misleading.
Moreover, no sound evidences proved that it was the economy decline that led to the unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services. If as the author assumes the fitness-related products have significantly contribute to one’s good fitness, even if the economy decline it would not drive people sacrifice their fitness, that is even if the expenditure on fitness-related products and services dropped cause people were less affordable, at least it would not drop to the “ unusually low “ situation. So, the unusually low expenditure on fitness-related products and services has actually strengthened the possibility that people recognized that the fitness-related products and services was not that effective, and finally spent less on those. If this is the case, the arguer is actually reasoning against the fact.
很犀利，呵呵。

In a word, the arguer’s assertion is invalid and it may induce people invest too much on fitness-related products and services but overlook the most important-keeping healthy habits.

我也写了个48的，有空你帮我改改。https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1058613-1-1.html