arguement48 我的第一篇 尽力回改！

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The article conclude that the reason made the citizen less physical fitness is not spending to much time using computers but the decline in the economic in the region. To support the opinion the author point out that the region where has the highest fitness level are the region where the ownership of computer are the highest , and also the author cites the low expenditures on fitness-related products and services is the cause of the decline in the fitness level. At first glance, the conclusion seems to be plausible ,but a careful examination of this argument would reveal several critical fallacies.
First of all , the author provide no evidence that the standard for fitness remain the same as 20 years ago, so it would be possible that the standard has been risen dramatically during the 20 years. The citizens who met the old standard would probably fail to meet the new standard , thus the phenomenon that only one quarter of all citizens are adequately fit would not necessarily indicate that the fitness level has declined. They may indeed have a higher level of physical fitness.
Secondly , even if the fitness level of Corpora has decreased , the overuse of the computer might not be the reason to blame. Even though the overall fitness lever are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest , however, the high levels of computer ownership do not indicate that citizens of these regions will spend more time on using computers . Moreover, although the regions mentioned by the author have relatively highest fitness levels, it is still possible that their fitness levels are declining compared with themselves.
Finally the conclusion is relies on an unsubstantiated assumption that the low expenditures on fitness- related products and services are directly result in the low level of fitness. Common sense tell me that people who are enjoying adequate physical fitness would spend less money in the pursuit of the fitness-related products and services, and the effect of the fitness-related products and services are open to doubt. The author also fails to convince us that the low expenditures of such products resulted form the decline in the economy, so the author can not hastily come to the conclusion that once the economy improves ,people will spend more money on fitness-related products and service
,and their fitness level will therefore be improved.
In sum ,the conclusion relies on certain doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing as it stands . to strengthen it the author must provide better evidence that the standard of fitness never change since 20 ago ,and to better assess the argument I would need more detailed information about the correlation between the consumption of the fitness-related products and the level of fitness.