2.23作业~~issue 48~~有拍必回

dly89418UID: 2712056

With the publication of more and more biographies, there is a trend of hero worship. However, the speaker asserts that the study of history places too much emphasis on individuals but not the groups of people who made great influence on most significant events and trends in history. This assertion seems reasonable at first. However, after a further analysis of the assertion, I find that it is not as necessary as it stands. On the first hand, it is technically impossible find sufficient information of every individual. On the other hand, their information will not make great influence on history study.

The first evidence that can be represented to support my point is that leadership and initiative is more important than execution in the evolution of history. For example, there will not have freedom in the American without Washington, and also, the black people can not have the same rights with the white people without Martin Luther King. Those heroes represent an ending of an unjust age and their contributions have been extolled home and abroad. Admittedly, they can not achieve the great success only by themselves. However, it is them who first break the shackles and influence their fellows.

Besides, it is technically impossible to keep the information of everyone who has made influence on the evolution of history. In most cases in the ancient time, the historical data is kept in the tombs or some historian books. There are two kinds of people who are likely to have their life kept. The first are these aristocrats or merchants who have the money to hire liberator to write the biography for them or to build a luxuriance mausoleum to record his deed. The other kind is those who have done great contribution to the society and be award hero. There were many scholar admire their achievement have wrote book about them. For most people, their great achievement can only be known by their relatives.

Admittedly, we should not neglect the fact that our history was planned by the heroes but achieved by these peoples whose names have been long time forgotten. Because their information is incomplete and sporadic, it is hardly for the historians to put more emphasis on them. However, it is unfair to say that we have neglected their great dedication because they are not as eminent as the famous few. On the contrary, every year there are thousands of people goes to the martyr cemetery to recall those who have sacrificed for the freedom of human beings

In sum, considering that it is technically impossible for the historian and people to study history based on the groups of people who have made great contribution to the history. We should continue our history study focus on the famous few, but never forget that behind them there are countless people who strived to make our dream come true.

LaoZZZZZUID: 2747300

With the publication of more and more biographies,（这句话很有问题，不管是逻辑上还是语法上，好好斟酌下） there is a trend of hero worship. However, （这两句话，这个应该不是转折的关系吧？）the speaker asserts that the study of history places too much emphasis on individuals but not the groups of people who made great influence（impact, influence 的话应该用to） on most significant events and trends in history. This assertion seems reasonable at first (glance,有点A的味道。。). However, after a further analysis of the assertion, I find that it is not as necessary as it stands. On the first hand, it is technically impossible（to） find sufficient information(s) of every individual. On the other hand, their information will not make great influence(impact, influence 的话应该用to) on history study.

The first evidence that can be represented to support my point is that leadership and initiative is more important than execution in the evolution of history. For example, there will（时态，至少也应该是虚拟语气吧？） not have freedom in the American without Washington, and also, the black people can (时态)not have the same rights with the white people without Martin Luther King. Those heroes represent an ending of an unjust age and their contributions have been extolled （home and abroad，语法不太对吧）. Admittedly, they can not achieve the great success only by themselves. However, it is them who first break the shackles and influence their fellows.（时态）

Besides, it is technically impossible to （keep the information of ，最好换个词，比如memorize, record…）everyone who has made influence(同上) on the evolution of history. （In most cases in the ancient time有这么说的吗？）, the historical data is kept（不太合适，record等。。表示记录的意思的比较合适） in the tombs or some historian books. There are two kinds of people who are likely to have their life kept. The first are these aristocrats or merchants who have（had） the money to hire liberator to write the biography for them or to build a luxuriance mausoleum to record his deed. The other kind is those who have done great contribution to the society and be(时态) award  (as a) hero. There were many scholar(s) admire their achievement(s) have wrote book about them. For most people, their great achievement can only be known by their relatives.（整段的时态。。）而且这段和论题没有多大关系的。。

Admittedly, we should not neglect the fact that our history was planned by the heroes but achieved by these peoples whose names have been long (time 删) forgotten. Because their information(s) is(are) incomplete and sporadic, it is hardly for the historians to put more emphasis on them. However, it is unfair to say that we have neglected their great dedication because they are not as eminent as the famous few.(下面的应该是例子。。不能做反面吧？毕竟广大群众做的贡献不只是在社会革命上。。) On the contrary, every year there are thousands of people goes to the martyr cemetery to recall those who have sacrificed for the freedom of human beings

In sum, considering that it is technically impossible for the historian and people to study history based on the groups of people who have made great contribution to the history. We should continue our history study focus on the famous few, but never forget that behind them there are countless people who strived to make our dream come true.


1.从小的拼写的方面来说，有许多语法错误，特别是时态和单复数的问题。还有些词用的不是很恰当。
2.从逻辑上来说，整体思路还算清晰，但是，有些问题考虑的不是很周全。比如，群众的贡献，不只是社会革命者一点上，还有好多呢，比如，物质的生产，伟大建筑的建造等。。。
3.整个论题有点偏了，原命题主要是探讨到底谁是历史的缔造者，不涉及到底为什么那些人可以被记录下来，而其他人则被忽略
拍不不好，请见谅！