【Big Fish】2月23日Argument 10-By JeniusHe

jenius4869UID: 2659821

Argument 固定题目：No.10The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper.

"The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy
farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10
years ago. During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the
local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per
gallon. To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on
an apparently increased supply of milk, the Batavia government should
begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to
ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers."


In this letter, the author propose the idea that the government of Batavia should begin to regulate retail milk prices in order to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers. To support his opinion, the author also cites that the evidence of remarkably increasing dairy farms' amount throughout the country during ten years and at the same time, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased more than 100 percent from $1.5 per gallon. For several unreasonable logical flaws, I find such suggestion unconvincing.


To begin with, as the author claims, the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. However, there is no evidence that prove the number of dairy farms at local has greatly increased. Perhaps the local dairy farms, compared with the overall country are still that much. Even if the number of milk farms did increase, it is unfair to indicate the milk supply has also increased. Since the author fails to provide any confirm evidence to substantiate that the number of local dairy farms can be representative of the whole country and the increasing number of diary farms did result in growing milk supply, it is unjustifiable to conclude there are adequate milk supply in this place, let alone excessive profits.


Secondly, relying on the mere fact that the price of milk at only one market has increased from $1.5 to over $3.0 per gallon is hard to support the author's conclusion that the price of milk has brought excessive profits to farmers. It is possible that the average price of milk of other markets has been decreased to better compete with others. Or perhaps the milk supply in this place is not abundant, as a consequence, the price of milk has increased since the farmer's cost of transporting milk from other areas has also increased. Given these possibilities, the fact that the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased is scant evidence to illuminate that the farmers gain much excessive profits.


Finally, even if the milk supply is adequate and the price of milk did increase, I suppose it is not advisable to lower the price of milk merely based on these two factors. As we know, many economics have also proved, the supply-and-demand relationship is not the only factor to determine the price of product nowadays. Therefore, even if the price is higher in this situation, there may be some explanations hidden behind this phenomenon. Perhaps the need for milk locally is very urgent. Or perhaps the cost of produce milk has also increased. Without finding the real factors that lead to the high price of milk, it is unwarranted to regulate the price of milk.


To sum up, the several unreasonable weakness I discussed above have make the author's recommendation unpersuasive. To better evaluate this argument, I need to know the real factor contributes to the high price of milk in this market and whether the milk supply is adequate locally. In addition, I would like to do a survey to investigate the cost of the farmers to produce milk in order to judge whether they have got a high profits.

topranUID: 2310216

好喜欢这个结尾啊，不像其他结尾那样“the author is leck of ecidence ...”,"the fact is not relevance..." , 你用了“I need...”,"I would ..."

jenius4869UID: 2659821

2# topran

其实也是北美上的一种写法啦~  我也蛮喜欢  稍微不那么死板  不过应该用的人也很多  ~  还在模仿阶段~

greekyUID: 2605662

1# jenius4869
Argument 固定题目：No.10The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper.

"The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy
farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10
years ago. During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the
local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per
gallon. To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on
an apparently increased supply of milk, the Batavia government should
begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to
ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers."


In this letter, the author propose the idea that the government of Batavia should begin to regulate retail milk prices in order to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers. To support his opinion, the author also cites that the evidence of remarkably increasing dairy farms' amount throughout the country during ten years and at the same time, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased more than 100 percent from $1.5 per gallon. For several unreasonable logical flaws, I find such suggestion unconvincing.


To begin with, as the author claims, the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. However, there is no evidence that prove the number of dairy farms at local has greatly increased. Perhaps the local dairy farms, compared with the overall country are still that much. Even if the number of milk farms did increase, it is unfair to indicate the milk supply has also increased. Since the author fails to provide any confirm evidence to substantiate that the number of local dairy farms can be representative of the whole country and the increasing number of diary farms did result in growing milk supply, it is unjustifiable to conclude there are adequate milk supply in this place, let alone excessive profits.


Secondly, relying on the mere fact that the price of milk at only one market has increased from $1.5 to over $3.0 per gallon( it )is hard to support the author's conclusion that the price of milk has brought excessive profits to farmers. It is possible that the average price of milk of other markets has been decreased to better compete with others. Or perhaps the milk supply in this place is not abundant, as a consequence, the price of milk has increased since the farmer's cost of transporting milk from other areas has also increased. Given these possibilities, the fact that the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased is scant evidence to illuminate that the farmers gain much excessive profits.


Finally, even if the milk supply is adequate and the price of milk did increase, I suppose it is not advisable to lower the price of milk merely based on these two factors. As we know, many economics have also proved, the supply-and-demand relationship is not the only factor to determine the price of product nowadays. Therefore, even if the price is higher in this situation, there may be some explanations hidden behind this phenomenon. Perhaps the need for milk locally is very urgent. Or perhaps the cost of produce milk has also increased. Without finding the real factors that lead to the high price of milk, it is unwarranted to regulate the price of milk.


To sum up, the several unreasonable weakness I discussed above have make the author's recommendation unpersuasive. To better evaluate this argument, I need to know the real factor contributes to the high price of milk in this market and whether the milk supply is adequate locally. In addition, I would like to do a survey to investigate the cost of the farmers to produce milk in order to judge whether they have got a high profits.

看了很长时间，总算看完了，总体感觉很好，像你的issue一样，文笔很流畅:)   细微的语法和拼写错误我就不详细说了。提一点小建议，能不能把正文部分的中心句稍微突出一点，因为很多考官基本都是扫每段的第一句然后直接打分额