【Big Fish】习作-2.24 Argument51-By Narashy

NarashyUID: 2602795

In this argument, the author concludes that antibiotics should be taken as part of treatment for patients with muscle strain. To substantiate the argument, the author cites the study taken in two groups, in which the group of patients taking antibiotics regularly has a significant quicker recuperation time than the one does not take antibiotics. The author's evidence seems quite sound at first glance. However, the whole argument relie on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions which render it unconvincing as it stand.

First of all, obviously, the author fails to provide enough information about the study on the two groups. How many people were involved in the study and how many of which responsed? It is entirely possible that only a small number of patients, such as 5 patients take part in which make the study highly suspectful. In addition, the study should be statistically reliable. However, we have seen little sign in the argument about the procedure of sampling. Unless it can be shown that the patients taking the study are representative, it is completely unwarranted to draw the conclusion.

Second, even if the study was taken without any problem, which is not substantiated, it does not follow that the reduce in recuperation time in Dr. Newland's group is due to the successful use of antibiotic. As we all know, there are many other facts should be taken into account, such as the healthy food, regular exercises and even a moderate weather. It appears reasonable that patients in Dr. Newland's group have been treated with high-quality food, taken part in more regular exercise and lived in a warm weather which is extremely important for recovery from muscle strain. However, the author fails to provide enough evidence to rule out these cases which makes his/her arguments unconvincing.

In addition, there are many alternatives that the author should have considered. Such alternatives may include the difference between the two doctors. A expert in sports medicine apparently differs from a general physician while taking care of patients suffering muscle strain. What's more, the average age of the patients is not provided. It is possible that people in Dr Newland's group are relative younger than ones in the other group which of course, leads to a faster recupreration time. Further analysis and investigation on these topics should be made before any conclusions are made.

To sum up, the argument that antibiotic should be taken in the procedure of treating patients suffering from muscle strain is not well-supported. To convince me, the author need to provide specific information about the study. To better evaluate the argument,  I would need more detail about the doctor's information reflecting their ability.

dgxy08UID: 2599486

In this argument, the author concludes that antibiotics should be taken as part of treatment for patients with muscle strain. To substantiate the argument, the author cites the study taken in two groups, in which the group of patients taking antibiotics regularly has a significant quicker recuperation time than the one does not take antibiotics.(这点我不确定，是不是应该改成定语从句？) The author's evidence seems quite sound at first glance. However, the whole argument relies on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions which render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, obviously, the author fails to provide enough information about the study on the two groups. How many people were involved in the study and how many of which responsed? It is entirely possible that only a small number of patients, such as 5 patients ,take part in ,which makes the study highly suspectful. In addition, the study should be statistically reliable. However, we have seen little sign in the argument about the procedure of sampling. Unless it can be shown that the patients taking the study are representative, it is completely unwarranted to draw the conclusion.

Second, even if the study was taken without any problem, which is not substantiated, it does not follow that the reduce in recuperation time in Dr. Newland's group is due to the successful use of antibiotic. As we all know, there are many other facts should be taken into account, such as the healthy food, regular exercises and even a moderate weather. It appears reasonable that patients in Dr. Newland's group have been treated with high-quality food, taken part in more regular exercise and lived in a warm weather which is extremely important for recovery from muscle strain. However, the author fails to provide enough evidence to rule out these cases which makes his/her arguments unconvincing.

In addition, there are many alternatives that the author should have considered. Such alternatives may include the difference between the two doctors. A expert in sports medicine apparently differs from a general physician while taking care of patients suffering muscle strain. (What's more, the average age of the patients is not provided. It is possible that people in Dr Newland's group are relative younger than ones in the other group which of course, leads to a faster recupreration time.) (这些可以放在第一个group information里面)Further analysis and investigation on these topics should be made before any conclusions are made.(any conclusion is made)

To sum up, the argument that antibiotic should be taken in the procedure of treating patients suffering from muscle strain is not well-supported. To convince me, the author need to provide specific information about the study. To better evaluate the argument,  I would need more detail about the doctor's information reflecting their ability.
蓝色：代表过渡词
粉色：代表论点，和小结
红色：代表我的修改意见
整体感觉比我写的好，每段话之后有个小结，我要学习这点，过度的比较好。

NarashyUID: 2602795

2# dgxy08

谢谢！下次我改作文也学着你那样把层次都标出来！辛苦了！