[Big Fish]3月1日Argument169 by-bobbieZZ

BobbieZZUID: 2756583

3.01 Argument No.169
The following appeared in a letter from a department chairperson to the president of Pierce University.
"Some studies conducted by Bronston College, which is also located in a small town, reveal that both male and female professors are happier living in small towns when their spouses are also employed in the same geographic area. Therefore, in the interest of attracting the most gifted teachers and researchers to our faculty and improving the morale of our entire staff, we at Pierce University should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member we hire. Although we cannot expect all offers to be accepted or to be viewed as an ideal job offer, the money invested in this effort will clearly be well spent because, if their spouses have a chance of employment, new professors will be more likely to accept our offers."

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The chairperson in the letter claims to Pierce University should offer every spouse of professor we hire employment, for appealing the exception teachers and researches to our faculty and even rise our staff’s morale. However, the author’s statement has one and more assumption and no sufficient evidence, so that his point of view could not convince me.

To begin with, the author confuses vague data between the Bronston College’s research data and our Pierce University’s survey. Although the Bronston College’s professors are will to reside with their spouses in a small town, it can not show that the same group people be happier living in our town with their families. They prefer the town which Bronston located due to other reasons. Perhaps it has fresh air, convenient transportation, well basic education for their children. All of above advantages we don’t have. So the author should provide appropriate data about the willing of professor of the town that Pierce University stand in.

Secondly, even though the Pierce University’s lecturers with pleasure to living in the town with their spouses, the author unfairly assumes that their wife or husband would like to accept the employment that from university. They would prefer to do other occupations such as cabmen, workers, high-tech engineers, nurses, tailor or even just stay at home to take care for their children and old parents. As a result, the chairperson ought to give more details about whether the professors’ spouses disposed do some work in university.

Thirdly, even though the families of professors would be willing to accept the employment offer by the Pierce, it would not worth for the university. Our campus don’t have redundant task for others, because of we are general university, there are not too much students in there, so we needn’t recruit much more personnel to waste our expense. In addition, these professor just wish to their spouses live with them in same town and it is easy to get other jobs in our town. So we no need to spend worthless payment on offer their employment. Unless the speaker can supply accurate evidence on the usefulness of our university offer jobs to professors’ families.

In sum up, the author should not confuse the survey data, he should provide more details and evidence on relevant views when he point out his statement. If he could give the accurate research about the spouses of professors willing and the worth of spend our university on offer their occupation, it would convince me.

CynthiaMomoLeeUID: 2587828

The chairperson in the letter claims to（to去掉） Pierce University should offer every spouse of professor we hire employment, for appealing the exception（the exception去掉） teachers and researches to our faculty and even rise （rising）our staff’s morale. However, the author’s statement has one and more assumption and no sufficient evidence, so that his point of view could not convince me.

To begin with, the author confuses vague data between the Bronston College’s research data and our Pierce University’s survey. Although the Bronston College’s professors are will(willing) to reside with their spouses in a small town, it can not show that the same group people be happier living in our town with their families. They prefer 加上to the town which Bronston located due to other reasons. Perhaps it has fresh air, convenient transportation, well basic education for their children. All of above advantages we don’t have(不成一句话，应该把we don’t have放前面). So the author should provide appropriate data about the willing of professor of the town that Pierce University stand（单三加s） in.

Secondly, （开头用让步，很不错）even though(后面应该加一句话，现在后面的话没有实意动词) the Pierce University’s lecturers with pleasure to living(to do,应该用 to live) in the town with their spouses, the author unfairly assumes that their wife or husband would like to accept the employment that（that去掉） from university. They would prefer to do other occupations such as cabmen, workers, high-tech engineers, nurses, tailor or even just stay(staying) at home to take care for(of) their children and old parents. As a result, the chairperson ought to give more details about whether the professors’ spouses disposed do some work in university.（此段理由有点牵强，因为题中已经说了~尽管尽管我们并不期望所有就业机会都会被接受或被看作是理想的工作，我们在这项努力上的投入显然是值得的）

Thirdly, even though the families of professors would be willing to accept the employment offer(过去分词) by the Pierce, it would not been worth for the university. Our campus don’t have redundant task for others, because of（去掉of） we are

a
general university, there are not too much students in there, so we needn’t recruit much more personnel to waste our expense. In addition, these professor(加s) just wish to(to 去掉) their spouses live with them in
a same town and it is easy to get other jobs in our town. So we no（do not）
need to spend worthless payment on offer (改为on ，或者是in offering)their employment. Unless the speaker can supply accurate evidence on the usefulness of our university offer jobs to professors’ families.(最后一句话是没说完吧~还是和前一句构成一句话)

In（To） sum up, the author should not confuse the survey data, （加个连词）he should provide more details and evidence on relevant views when he point（单三） out his statement. If he could give the accurate research about the spouses of professors willing and the worth of spend（ing） our university on offer（ing） their occupation, it would convince me.
小建议：注意动词形式，句子构成，减少语法错误，有点地方有点中国式英语
        抓主要错误多写

CynthiaMomoLeeUID: 2587828

The chairperson in the letter claims to（to去掉） Pierce University should offer every spouse of professor we hire employment, for appealing the exception（the exception去掉） teachers and researches to our faculty and even rise （rising）our staff’s morale. However, the author’s statement has one and more assumption and no sufficient evidence, so that his point of view could not convince me.

To begin with, the author confuses vague data between the Bronston College’s research data and our Pierce University’s survey. Although the Bronston College’s professors are will(willing) to reside with their spouses in a small town, it can not show that the same group people be happier living in our town with their families. They prefer 加上to the town which Bronston located due to other reasons. Perhaps it has fresh air, convenient transportation, well basic education for their children. All of above advantages we don’t have(不成一句话，应该把we don’t have放前面). So the author should provide appropriate data about the willing of professor of the town that Pierce University stand（单三加s） in.

Secondly, （开头用让步，很不错）even though(后面应该加一句话，现在后面的话没有实意动词) the Pierce University’s lecturers with pleasure to living(to do,应该用 to live) in the town with their spouses, the author unfairly assumes that their wife or husband would like to accept the employment that（that去掉） from university. They would prefer to do other occupations such as cabmen, workers, high-tech engineers, nurses, tailor or even just stay(staying) at home to take care for(of) their children and old parents. As a result, the chairperson ought to give more details about whether the professors’ spouses disposed do some work in university.（此段理由有点牵强，因为题中已经说了~尽管尽管我们并不期望所有就业机会都会被接受或被看作是理想的工作，我们在这项努力上的投入显然是值得的）

Thirdly, even though the families of professors would be willing to accept the employment offer(过去分词) by the Pierce, it would not been worth for the university. Our campus don’t have redundant task for others, because of（去掉of） we are

a
general university, there are not too much students in there, so we needn’t recruit much more personnel to waste our expense. In addition, these professor(加s) just wish to(to 去掉) their spouses live with them in
a same town and it is easy to get other jobs in our town. So we no（do not）
need to spend worthless payment on offer (改为on ，或者是in offering)their employment. Unless the speaker can supply accurate evidence on the usefulness of our university offer jobs to professors’ families.(最后一句话是没说完吧~还是和前一句构成一句话)

In（To） sum up, the author should not confuse the survey data, （加个连词）he should provide more details and evidence on relevant views when he point（单三） out his statement. If he could give the accurate research about the spouses of professors willing and the worth of spend（ing） our university on offer（ing） their occupation, it would convince me.
小建议：注意动词形式，句子构成，减少语法错误，有点地方有点中国式英语
        抓主要错误多写

CynthiaMomoLeeUID: 2587828

我高不明白为什么有的字体放大不了~~你要是看不清在QQ上联系我~~我QQ名字叫沫沫

CynthiaMomoLeeUID: 2587828

The chairperson in the letter claims to（to去掉） Pierce University should offer every spouse of professor we hire employment, for appealing the exception（the exception去掉） teachers and researches to our faculty and even rise （rising）our staff’s morale. However, the author’s statement has one and more assumption and no sufficient evidence, so that his point of view could not convince me.

To begin with, the author confuses vague data between the Bronston College’s research data and our Pierce University’s survey. Although the Bronston College’s professors are will(willing) to reside with their spouses in a small town, it can not show that the same group people be happier living in our town with their families. They prefer 加上to the town which Bronston located due to other reasons. Perhaps it has fresh air, convenient transportation, well basic education for their children. All of above advantages we don’t have(不成一句话，应该把we don’t have放前面). So the author should provide appropriate data about the willing of professor of the town that Pierce University stand（单三加s） in.

Secondly, （开头用让步，很不错）even though(后面应该加一句话，现在后面的话没有实意动词) the Pierce University’s lecturers with pleasure to living(to do,应该用 to live) in the town with their spouses, the author unfairly assumes that their wife or husband would like to accept the employment that（that去掉） from university. They would prefer to do other occupations such as cabmen, workers, high-tech engineers, nurses, tailor or even just stay(staying) at home to take care for(of) their children and old parents. As a result, the chairperson ought to give more details about whether the professors’ spouses disposed do some work in university.（此段理由有点牵强，因为题中已经说了~尽管尽管我们并不期望所有就业机会都会被接受或被看作是理想的工作，我们在这项努力上的投入显然是值得的）
Thirdly, even though the families of professors would be willing to accept the employment offer(过去分词) by the Pierce, it would not been worth for the university. Our campus don’t have redundant task for others, because of（去掉of） we are   a  general university, there are not too much students in there, so we needn’t recruit much more personnel to waste our expense. In addition, these professor(加s) just wish to(to 去掉) their spouses live with them in  a same town and it is easy to get other jobs in our town. So we no（do not） need to spend worthless payment on offer (改为on ，或者是in offering)their employment. Unless the speaker can supply accurate evidence on the usefulness of our university offer jobs to professors’ families.(最后一句话是没说完吧~还是和前一句构成一句话)
In（To） sum up, the author should not confuse the survey data, （加个连词）he should provide more details and evidence on relevant views when he point（单三） out his statement. If he could give the accurate research about the spouses of professors willing and the worth of spend（ing） our university on offer（ing） their occupation, it would convince me.
小建议：注意动词形式，句子构成，减少语法错误，有点地方有点中国式英语
        抓主要错误多写