【Big Fish】习作-3.4 Argument14-By cootozero

cooltozeroUID: 2705603

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TOPIC: ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."
WORDS: 482          TIME: 01:00:00          DATE: 2010-3-4 21:26:22







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The author of this argument advise  Green Thumb Gardening Center a new policy that greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds it stock fo gardeners this coming spring in order that they could inrease their profits. To support this propasal ,the auther give the following reasons : more and more consumers are interested in growing their own vegetables ; a magazine so called Great Garden has sold out at a stand three months in a row. Additionaly , a survy presenting dissatisfaction of many consumers to the vegetables in supermarkets is attatched to this article to strength the conclusion. However ,the policy is  not so advisable as it stands after scurutinizing it carefully .






The first, the evidence that more and more consumers show interests to grow vegetables does not provide any significant reason for the author's recommendation since it includes no data. In case just a smll numbers of individuals in this country have the so called interests, the statement more and more ,which also means a smll number, doesn't make any sence. After all ,the relation between 10 and 5 can be even named more and more . If we don't know exactly what a scale of people of  the hole country tend to grow vegetables themselves , by no means we could get the information how many kinds of seeds and be likely  sold out finally . So, a recommendation based on such unclear information is not convincing.





The second ,what worse ,the sold out magazine gives us a more obscure indication. Firstly ,we have not a concrete message about actual numbers of how many books have gone . Many other factors ,however ,such as a less book in,  a  less expensive selling and promotion activity may lead to the magazine be sold out fast. Secondly ,even assuming that  the sales volume of Great Garden become bigger and bigger , we can't  confidently say that more presons are learning grow vegetables , for Great Garden is not a pecial kind of magazine solely introduct vegetables ,but trees ,grass and others . Thus , we can't make any decision on the base of the sales of Great Garden.

The last , the survey involvs the whole nation won't be a usefull information for  the author . After all ,Green Thumb Gardening Center which is a small business , is not likely to utilize the market of the whole nation.  In order to know the local people interests , a more particular study is needed.



In sum , this recommendation made by the author is not a firm one unless the following prolblems could be solved :  a more detailed data of how many people are willing to grow vegetables by them themselves ;  what is the situation of the sales of a kind magazine really involves vegetables ; and how many local persons are dissatisfacted wite the vegetables in supermarkets.

jenius4869UID: 2659821

1# cooltozero
The author of this argument advise(加s)  Green Thumb Gardening Center a new policy that（of） greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds it stock fo（for） gardeners this coming spring in order that they could inrease their profits. To support this propasal ,the auther give（加s） the following reasons : more and more consumers are interested in growing their own vegetables ; a magazine so called Great Garden has sold out at a stand three months in a row. Additionaly , a survy presenting dissatisfaction of many consumers to the vegetables in supermarkets is attatched（related） to this article to strength the conclusion. However ,the policy is  not so advisable as it stands after scurutinizing it carefully .






The first, the evidence that more and more consumers show interests to grow vegetables does not provide any significant reason for the author's recommendation since it includes no data.（一个evidence provide reason？） In case just a smll（small） numbers（a small quantity of） of individuals in this country have the so called interests, the statement more and more ,which also means a smll number, doesn't make any sence. After all ,the relation between 10 and 5 can be（the increase/raise from the amount of 5 to 10 can be） even named(called) more and more . If we don't know exactly what a scale of people of  the hole country tend to grow vegetables themselves , by no means we could get the information how many kinds of seeds and be likely  sold out finally . So, a recommendation based on such unclear information is not convincing.(这个越来越多的人是作者的一个前提结论，这个结论本身并没有依赖什么调查，而是建立在下面的两个evidence上面，要抨击的应该是他怎么得出这个结论的两个支持points上)





The second ,what worse ,the sold out magazine gives us a more obscure indication. Firstly ,we have not a concrete message about actual numbers（number） of how many books have gone （sold/been bought不能用go）. Many other factors ,however ,such as a less book in(insufficient supply),  a  less expensive selling and promotion activity may lead to the magazine be sold out fast. Secondly ,even assuming that  the sales volume of Great Garden become bigger and bigger , we can't  confidently say that more presons are learning grow(how to grow) vegetables , for Great Garden is not a pecial（special） kind of magazine solely introduct vegetables ,but trees ,grass and others . Thus , we can't make any decision on the base of the sales of Great Garden.

The last , the survey involvs the whole nation won't be a usefull information for  the author . After all ,Green Thumb Gardening Center which is a small business , is not likely to utilize the market of the whole nation.  In order to know the local people interests , a more particular study is needed.



In sum , this recommendation made by the author is not a firm one unless the following prolblems could be solved :  a more detailed data of how many people are willing to grow vegetables by them themselves ;  what is the situation of the sales of a kind magazine really involves vegetables (就算只是说蔬菜的，就能证明人们看它是为了学习种植蔬菜吗); and how many local persons are dissatisfacted wite the vegetables in supermarkets.（这其实就是一个logical flaw，人们不满意超市里的并不代表非要自己去种啊）

1.单词拼写自己先检查一遍，语法有点问题，词汇的使用有些简单，变换不够
2.逻辑错误，建议你看看这篇的范文，学习一下，找点感觉。
3.字数哦，可以先模仿北美上的写，不要去用一些自己都不确定的方法表达，比如说utilize the market，我也不知道对不对~
4.加油！一点一滴积累吧，一定会有进步的！