I131

CynthiaMomoLeeUID: 2587828

Arts, which are showed by the various kinds of samples such as painting music and literature, have played an indispensable role in the development of humanity and society. Not only can the art be contributive to reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society, but bring the average person a happy and marvelous would in front of the public.

Admittedly, the art, to the extent, is representative of the hidden views from the ordinary people which hardly can be spoken by speech or broadcasting in the newspaper. An inability to mention the dissatisfaction from the feeling of deep hearts to the government keeps people from the happy and desirable life and tolerant the heavy burden from the physics and psychologies. Take the period of the Renaissance as an example. With the strength power to press on the society, more and more artists could not help living the normal life, and choosing to drawing pictures reflecting the hardship and bad situation could be the best way to express the willingness towards the sunny and bright days. More paintings regarded peace as the most primary title and content. Additionally, in the old age of China, people could get temporarily free and delight and emancipate themselves from the starvation and poverty while singing songs whose lyric showed that more cultivation would bring adequate fruits.

Also, in the modern society, more and more picture from the public express the social problem: such as with the development of industry, industry began to expand and this results in serious environment and ecological pollution, disrupting noise happen, forest and pasture land disappear, and certain species of animal become extinct. When the leader sees the work, he or she has the responsibility to better the surrounding, which could boost the living and comfort level of the individuals and the relationship between government and the common people would be strengthened.

However, another function of the art is to more unimaginable would let people own more chance to enjoy the beauty. Artistic creations are very meaningful to a new and special scenery in the reality with the advancement of the economical society. They encourage us to a marvelous world which we cannot imagine. If we had no film to see, no picture to appreciate, no song to sing or listen to, how can we feel that we are still alive in the real world. It would be a dreary and monochromic. Such world would be a doleful one. And people would never have the chance to realize what are the meanings of being beautiful, colorful and wonderful. Many individuals are inclined to relax themselves through coming to the museum and shows at weekend. And more parents are emphasizing on various styles of art to their children and gradually more relaxed and slight moon penetrates into the life of those children while the elusive problem from the math and scientific knowledge would make them frustrated.

To sum up, the artistic creation, on the one hand , reveal the unspoken attitudes to the phenomenon of the society and
on the other hand, bring the sense of beauty which is helpful to people' healthy emotion.

jjooyyUID: 2704028

Arts, which are showed by the various kinds of samples such as painting, music and literature, have played an indispensable role in the development of humanity and society(未必并列). Not only can the art be contributive to reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society, but also bring the average person a happy and marvelous would(world) in front of the public.(bring后面有两个对象了，一个world，少了点什么)

Admittedly, the art, to the extent(to some extent/to the extent that...), is representative of the hidden views from the ordinary people which hardly can be spoken by speech or broadcasting in the newspaper. An inability to mention the dissatisfaction from the feeling of deep hearts to the government keeps people from the happy and desirable life and tolerant the heavy burden from the physics and psychologies. Take the period of the Renaissance as an example. With the strength power to press on the society, more and more artists could not help living(情不自禁地生活？) the normal life, and choosing to drawing pictures reflecting (to reflect) the hardship and(换个句子吧) bad situation could be the best way to express the willingness towards the sunny and bright days. More paintings(后面regard为动词，用painters更好) regarded peace as the most primary title and content. Additionally,(是递进关系吗？) in the old age of China(Google了一下，去掉the更好), people could get temporarily free and delight and emancipate themselves from the starvation and poverty while singing songs whose lyric showed that more cultivation would bring adequate fruits.（强调的是后面的内容，while前后的内容应对调，还有这里用poems会不会更高层次一些？）

Also, in the modern society, more and more pictures(or more art forms...) from the public express the social problems: such as with the development of industry, industry began to expand and this results in serious environment and ecological pollution(两个pollution搭配的不好，不如具体举例), disrupting noise happen(happen?), forests and pasture lands disappear, and certain species of animals become extinct. When the leader sees the work, he or she has the responsibility to better the surroundings, which could boost the living and comfort level of the individuals and the relationship between government and the common people would be strengthened.(leaders不看作品也知道吧，唤醒大众的意识更好些)

However, another function of the art is that to more unimaginable(to后面是形容词？) would let(高级点的词吧) people own more chances to enjoy the beauty. Artistic creations are very meaningful to a new and special scenery in the reality(怪) with the advancement of the economical society(直接用economy). They encourage us to (动词呢？) a marvelous world which we cannot imagine. If we had no film to see, no picture to appreciate, no song to sing or listen to, how can we feel that we are still alive in the real world.(标点是?前后连接不够) It would be a dreary and monochromic (world). Such world would be a doleful one. And people would never（太绝对了） have the chance to realize what are(到句尾去) the meanings of being beautiful, colorful and wonderful. Many individuals are inclined to relax themselves through coming to the museum and shows(cinemas) at weekends. And more parents are emphasizing on various styles of art to their children(又是动词+to) and gradually more relaxed and slight moon(比喻？) penetrates into the life of those children while the elusive problems from the math and scientific knowledge(from the knowledge?) would make them frustrated.

To sum up, the artistic creation, on the(固定用法，不用the) one hand , reveals the unspoken attitudes to the phenomenon of the society and(,)on the other hand, brings the sense of beauty which is helpful to people's healthy emotions.

错误 建议 精彩
本文用的一些名词化和形容词让我印象深刻！值得我学习！开头的倒装句也挺精彩
在段落的论述中，第一段比较好，第二段的ts没有清楚写出来，第三段的论证就有点跳脱和重复了。
语法需要加强学习，单复数和动词介词等基本功还是要注意！改了一个小时:L
by jjooyy